((Epic wall of epic proportion of text... commence! Oh, and some drama, of course.))
Joe felt a little apprehensive as she heard the paramedics came running. With them was the familiar smell of 'hospital' and her mind was registering it under 'bad'. She kept calm however... at least for now. Rita's confidence helped too and she moved to make way for her and the paramedics to do their work. It felt like forever though, and every second Joe could feel her mind unravel and stared with her eyes wide open but unfocused. She was straining to not give in to the stress and to keep herself from bursting out. Joe exhaled a breath she had been holding. The feeling of her suddenly (even just slightly) relaxed state however, made something keel over and snap in her head as it had been leaning in the opposite direction. If it wasn't for her body trembling uncontrollably and her fast and shallow breathing, one might think she was just relieved. Any werewolf with a good nose would know that she suddenly smelled very wrong – and very dangerous.
"Uh-oh…" came a reply from Bucky, but he sounded amused.
Faolan's nose thankfully warned him about Joe, and gently touching her shoulder he suggested that she take a little walk, it didn't have to be far, and he'd watch over Matt. Joe didn't hear about Rita's 'good news'..
Ironically, Joe was pulled so far into her episode that she felt high as a kite! Adrenaline was in no short supply, all her nerves tingled and her sight was outlined with crisp clear colours. The scurrying and panic seemed so silly… the memory of her kissing Matt and everything she had experienced during it ran through her mind and body over and over again. It had been amazing! It was better than anything she had ever experienced before! Shooting a helicopter out of the sky while being shot at? That was nothing… All the amazing sensations that had been running through her like a strong current of euphoric electricity beat that a million times over. It was so powerful, and her memory kept recreating it to just feel it again and again. No feelings of guilt could get it down.
The other part of her was freaking out and it was also helping itself to adrenaline, along with some fuel from everything that was wrong and had gone wrong. Why had she kissed him? It wasn't like her at all! The most she had been able to do in the theater after Matt came back was to have her arm around his shoulders, and even that was almost had been too new for her. Frightening, even. Why was it frightening? Thinking of it now, she wanted to panic… opening yourself to someone like that could get you so badly hurt. They could get so badly hurt – and Matt did, even though she never intended for it to happen. That damned kiss. Of course his heart would be affected after this morning – it was still healing! What the hell had she been thinking?!
Her mind was so torn that it was becoming a physical migraine and it trickled down to form a stab in her heart. It hurt. It hurt so much… Her throat stung, her chest felt tight and her skin prickled. All this energy, and nowhere for it to go. She needed to get rid of it.
She had been walking towards and behind the left of the large tree with the swing without even noticing, and her stare was still that of being spaced-out. The tree was far enough to be out of hearing from human ears. A stranger would think she was just walking to calm herself, to take a moment to breathe, away from everyone's view. Perfectly rational, right? and she looked so calm and quiet too…
Quiet enough that not even Bucky could read her, "Hmm, did he at least taste good?"
She came to a halt next to the tree and suddenly, using her whole upper body to move, lifted and swung her right arm out to hit the bark with a closed fist. The side of her hand and half her arm had connected to it, breaking and denting the wood. If it wasn't for the size of the tree it would have shook from the impact. She stood arched, her muscles tense but her face still calm as she looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Leave." she warned him with a level voice. Either she didn't know, or it had been on purpose, but where she had hit was the old tattered edges of a broken branch sticking out like spikes… or had she aimed at Bucky and it just happened to be in the way? Whatever the reason, she had hit it and her hand remained there, injured.
Bucky had ducked to avoid getting his ghost throat smashed in. He pulled his mouth askew and audibly hissed as he saw the damage on her hand and forearm when he straightened up and looked behind him. "Bloody hell,no need to skewer yourself. I was only-" This didn't help her state of mind - with fury glowing in her eyes she focused on him, pulled her hand loose and swung again. He wasn't fast enough to get away this time and screamed in surprise and pain as she struck him against the protruding sharp edges. "Leave!" She growled with her teeth bared now, and as she struck several times hitting the same spot on the tree, she let the pent-up energy release. As helpful as ever, her imagination revealed the horror of what was left of Bucky after that, and it wasn't pretty. She had continued hitting through his pleading, through his yelping, and only after he was 'dead' and had disappeared, did she stop. She was now leaning with her arm on the tree, breathing slowly and angrily as she looked at the ground. Her heartbeat was calm, but loud and felt like her heart was in her throat.
She then looked up and stared at the mess, a cold sadistic satisfaction curled around the remaining energy and reflected in her glowing cyan eye. She chuckled, seeming amused and pleased with herself. The bones in her hand and arm were either broken or cracked, but none of the pain registered to her. Instead, it was disguised and only made her 'high' that much more worse and there was a strange tingly sensation in her ears. It actually occurred to her that if it had been anyone else there, she wouldn't have stopped hitting either… She was too far away, her mixed manic episode too deep. That thought amused her.
Joe finally noticed her broken and punctured hand and looked it over with a slight smirk. She could barely move her fingers they were so crumpled. Would you look at that? She should probably fix it… With that, she forced her hand open and her fingers straight by pressing with her palm against the tree. As she did so, the bones clicked and cracked back into place with loud popping noises. Joe made sure to use her other hand and corrected any misalignment. It was as if she didn't feel anything at all, even then. Next were the splinters…
A sudden sharp pain stabbed through her brain and she cringed audibly as she slumped down on her knees next to the tree. As she blinked through the stars, a wave of nausea hit her and her head began to spin. She let out an irritated groan, with her teeth visible and clenching together. Trying to still herself, she sat against the tree with her knees drawn up. She held her brow with her good hand and let her right arm just lay somewhat outstretched as it was perched on the corresponding knee. Joe breathed deeply as she heard her blood drip to the ground. It almost matched her slowing heartbeat.
She felt like she could murder someone right then, anyone – as long as they would scream and cry out in pain to take away her own. The idea made her feel good, very good in fact… even her teeth felt tingly with that idea. At the same time though, through a tiny little crack sneaked a feeling of shame: it was wrong, it was something only the Voice would enjoy, and none of this was helping Matt.