EXERCISE One Line of Inspiration.

Discussion in 'REFINING WRITING' started by Diana, Jun 10, 2012.

  1. ONE LINE OF INSPIRATION: MAKE IT COUNT!

    Let's face it. One liners have a shitty reputation. With good reason! When someone posts a One Liner roleplay post on the forums, it's usually lazy. Dull. Uninspired. Lacking content. How are you supposed to even reply to a one liner and continue the roleplay or build a story from that?

    If you are a One Liner poster and have a chronic problem of people dropping out of your roleplays, this is probably your problem. Those single lines, though fast and easy, are lacking INTEREST. Something to keep your roleplay partner on the edge of their seat and dying to come back for more. And unless you're playing smut with an addict to cybering, or you're posting within minutes of each other to keep the back and forth going fast... your partner is probably going to get bored really quick and drop the roleplay.

    OKAY DIANA, I GET IT. BUT YOU TITLED THIS THREAD "MAKING IT COUNT". WHAT GIVES?

    I am so glad you asked! 8D

    Writing one line of text does NOT mean it's a crappy post. You can absolutely write a single line of text and make it interesting. Thus, here are your guiding tips.

    First of all, don't be an asshole about Punctuation, Capital Letters, and Spell Checking. You're doing writing based roleplaying. Use the skills you were taught. It MATTERS.
    Why? Because punctuation tells a reader when to start. When to stop. Whether or not a sentence is a statement or question. If it was screamed or if it trails off. It can make a sentence sound really rushed, or it can pace it out nice and easy. The entire tone of your post can change based solely on the punctuation. Use it!

    Second, when it comes to writing a single line of text and making it count it's all about the vocabulary.
    To make a sentence interesting, make use of descriptive words. Use powerful words. Saying something like "It smelled good." doesn't sound as interesting as "It smelled fantastic." and sounds even MORE interesting when you say "It smelled like a meadow right after a morning shower."

    SOME BIG ONE LINER MISTAKES:
    - Writing only dialogue as a post. Not only is that boring, you're forcing your partner to do all the work of creating the scene and doing the actions.

    - Not even posting a real sentence. If you're posting four or five words as your roleplay post, why are you even roleplaying?

    - Posting a one liner that doesn't even progress the scene. "Jeb stares at the floor." Okay... what is your partner going to do with that? How is that supposed to be interesting?


    This exercise is going to be two parts!

    Write one single line full of interest.
    ONE LINE! Make use of punctuation, description, tone, and vocabulary. Don't trudge in to run-on sentence territory just to make it long and cram more words in there. It's not the length of the sentence, it's the impact!

    Example 1: "There's no reason to become alarmed, we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight, but is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

    Example 2: A tiny voice in the back of her mind screamed the words, You are not the only one, with a shrill so mind-quaking that it left her entire body in shivers.

    Each of these sentences are only one line. Yet both manage to draw out imagery and set a scene.

    Write a short paragraph NO LONGER than 10 sentences, but meaningful!
    Many people think that to combat One Liners is to write really long posts - but those are just as boring if the words you write don't MEAN something. Now that you see how ONE line can be meaningful, now try to do this in 10 sentences. No longer, no shorter. 10 sentences.
     
  2. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One-Liner: "I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your aunt, but maybe she was meant to have her intestines ripped out by zombies and then eaten in a mad frenzy."


    Ten Sentences: The giant monster was seen over the horizon and was approaching the city quickly. A mighty roar that rattled the buildings and shook the ground was heard. That's when it came into view, it was an 80 foot tall teenage girl. The people of the city ran with fear yelling, "Girzilla!" As she walked through the city she crushed buildings under her feet and toppled over skyscrapers. "Must be that time of the month," a nearby civilian uttered before being crushed. The military rushed into the city with tanks, rocket launchers, and jets ready for battle. The military shot at the monster and gave it everything they got, but to no avail. The only other way they thought of stopping the beast was by offering. From that day on, no one has seen Justin Beiber ever again.
     
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  3. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One Liner: Harsh, green eyes piece into yours as he takes a step forward with the full intention of tearing you limb from limb, slowly and in the most pain filled fashion he knows.

    The Lines: There was that face again. The one were his eyes went wide and angry, mouth twisted in a deep frown that seemed to pull his whole face into a dark and twisted growl. It was the face he made when he got really mad at his mother, and it was normally followed by a form of violence. Slaps usually, though sometimes he might have thrown a punch or two in. He only ever hung around to see the first hit, before vanishing from the room. The one time he had stayed to watch, he himself had been dragged into the violence, having to spend a few days in the hospital. He had only needed to learn the lesson once. He was in his room now, door closed, hiding inside his closet with his favourite stuffed toy clutched in his hands. They were loud tonight, his mother's screaming breaking through his walls to accost his ears and pull at his conscience, knowing he couldn't do anything to help her. The little boy buried his face in his stuffed toy, tears spilling down over his cheeks, wishing to any god who would listen to take him away from this place.
     
  4. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    one liner:Astaroth looked upon his army, the demonic horde howling with blood-lustas it clashed with its holy foes.

    paragraph: Drake turned towards the noise, ears pricked. His eyes began to contract into slits in an attempt to see into the void. The yellow irises almost glowing in the darkness.
    " What the hell could possibly be here besides me? It's a ruin that has been sealed for centuries!" he scowled in annoyance
    " ghosts?" his friend suggested with a goofy grin," I mean think about it... We are elves, and our neighbors are vampires. Why wouldn't ghosts exist?"
    Drake sighed, trying to not hit his friend for making such a comment," All ghosts are is a finite amount of energy trying to maintain a uniform shape they had possessed while alive. Since energy can't do that it isn't possible, Al."
    Al was about to retort when an urn was thrown at him. Al ducked and turned towards the direction of the throw,as did drake," oh hey look a ghost," Al remarked, pointing at the ethereal being
    " Remind me to hit you if we make it out of this alive," Drake growled.
     
  5. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.


    Better edit this! You missed the very first point in this lesson!

    You're not a lazy asshole, right? 8D I see some punctuation in there. Go all the way! ALL THE WAY!
     
  6. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    ....wait where did i go grammar nazi? o.o...well aside from forgettign to space in between blood-lust and as, and forgetting the period after ethereal being >.>...and sorry thats just how i write when im actually trying lol...should i not use as much punctuation then?
     
  7. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    No, I mean you need to add more. XD You missed some capital letters and periods and quotation marks in there!
     
  8. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    one liner:Astaroth looked upon his army, the demonic horde howling with blood-lust as it clashed with its holy foes.

    paragraph: Drake turned towards the noise, ears pricked. His eyes began to contract into slits in an attempt to see into the void. The yellow irises almost glowing in the darkness.
    " What the hell could possibly be here besides me? It's a ruin that has been sealed for centuries!" he scowled in annoyance.
    " Ghosts?" His friend suggested with a goofy grin," I mean think about it... We are elves, and our neighbors are vampires. Why wouldn't ghosts exist?"
    Drake sighed, trying to not hit his friend for making such a comment," All ghosts are is a finite amount of energy trying to maintain a uniform shape they had possessed while alive. Since energy can't do that, it isn't possible, Al."
    Al was about to retort when an urn was thrown at him. Al ducked and turned towards the direction of the throw,as did drake," oh hey look a ghost," Al remarked, pointing at the ethereal being.
    " Remind me to hit you if we make it out of this alive," Drake growled.

    ...did i get them?
     
  9. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    Yush. 8D *Thumbs up!*
     
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  10. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    yay!
     
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  11. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    The one liner: As cold dead hollow eyes bored into the depths of his soul, the cold chill of terror rose within him his heart raced, he was terrified and he couldn't think about anything but his terror.

    Ten sentences: Grinding his palms together he felt the sweat on them, the cold clammy moisture. His eyes lifted from his hands, the crimson stained orbs leering out and digging onto the other man's soul. His hands parted one moving to brush the strands of his midnight black hair from his face, the other sliding steadily and calmly to his sword handle, his knuckles turning white with his grip. Flashing a small smile at the ban before him, the pronounced canines making his face more bestial. Within moments he had changed from a timid child of a man, into this feral ferocious monster. The slow hiss of the steel of his blade scraping against the wood and leather scabbard. Now he was ready.
    "You've awoken the monster, and now your life is forfeit." Striding forwards with a slow rhythm, the slow methodic thump of his boots hitting the stone floor. A loud scream echoed through the vacant hallways of the building, signalling deaths arrival...

    ( >.> i hope this is alright >.>)
     
  12. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One liner: "Take him now!" came a shrill cry from the crowd; it was her Aunt, demanding blood.


    Ten sentences: "Take him now!" came a shrill cry from the crowd; it was her Aunt, demanding blood. The spectators recovered quickly, joining eagerly in the War Councillor's demands. She lurched to her feet. What need had she of weapons? Her body was a weapon. Rayane lunged at the smaller man, talons out stretched, tail whipping in the air. The Alyvaran looked at her with fear, his blue eyes wide. He scrambled to reach his weapon, floundering in the dirt as he dove. She skid to a halt, pivoted, and lunged again, drawing back her right arm for the final strike. She silenced the small voice in her heart; she would kill him, and prove her worth to her people.
     
  13. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One Liner:


    Ice cold blue eyes stared at the young girl, his eyebrow raised as if she had just said the most asinine thing he had ever heard.




    Ten Sentences:


    Sweat coated Drak's body as he finally stopped moving. He stood in the center of a large pile of bodies, his enemies. His serrated blades dripped with their blood, his entire body stained with it. He wiped the matted hair from his face and turned his stone cold gray eyes to look up at their leader on the hill. He was still mounted on his horse and had watched the man slaughter his small army all by himself. The man was indeed a weapon, his training complete. Satisfied he turned his horse and raced back to the village to tell the elders what he had witnessed. Drak looked at his surroundings after the leader left with no remorse in his eyes. They had known their fate when stepping out to face him. Now he just wished he knew his.


    Hope this is what you were looking for.
     
  14. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One liner: "There will be no greater joy, than hearing you beg for your life as I bury you."

    Ten sentences:
    The darkness that engulfed the land was so thick, you could get lost easily. This obstacle was no problem for Yorik though, he always kept a lantern with him to guide the way. Yorik held the lantern in front of him while carrying a casket behind him. Caskets usually contained dead people...However, this one did not. The screams and cries of a man begging for Yorik to let him out, but Yorik was paying no mind to the man. In fact, all the sounds the man made sounded..Soft..Like he didn't care he was going to be buried alive, how unfortunate. "Your time is running out, if you're begging to live..I suggest you scream louder and actually mean it." Yorik warned. The man inside began to kick and shake the casket, making it hard for Yorik to hold it firmly. From inside the casket the man felt himself dropped to the ground; fear was he felt at that moment. The man could hear...Shoveling...One final series of screams and pleads..All futile as his fate was sealed.

    [[Hope I did this right, will fix if I need to.]]
     
  15. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    I wasn't sure if it mattered whether I went with the same sort of scenario or not so I went with the same one. Basically, a woman who's in an abusive relationship finally snaps and decides to end it unsuccessfully. Also, I was kind of confused if you meant one-sentence by a one-liner or simply one line so I guess I cheated a bit going with four sentences. :c Oh, also, I used naughty language so yeah . . . spoilers. xD

    Show Spoiler
    One-liner: "Babe, it's over. I've finally got you, bastard!" the eyes of a tigress replaced Betty's, her bloodied hands pulling the trigger to no avail. "Goddammit!"

    Ten Sentences: Drying on her hands and along the cuts and bruises was blood. Blood he had beat out of Betty, cut out of her skin. The blonde remained silent while the monster went to sleep as he normally did. Next to him was his one true love: a gun. A crooked smile cracked her bloodied lips, slowly picking it up, caressing it with her crimson fingers. Forgive me for taking your father out, Mary. She stared tensely in the direction of her daughter's room, her smile gone, a cold sweat on her temples. She whispered the sharpest words she could think of as she pulled the trigger. The lack of noise disquieted her, her eyes glaring at her husband as she fumbled around the dark room for ammo.

    "Goddammit!"
     
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  16. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    1 line. "Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to have wings, to be able to fly away from the pain and misery of leading a normal life?" Ash said looking out the window longingly.

    10 sentences. Meghan looked at Ash wondering what she was talking about. Of course it wasn't odd for Ash to say stuff like that. Most of the time Meg would reply with an equally odd comment about want to melt into the earth or to swim with a fish named 'Sylvin'. It was common for the duo to act like druggies but for some reason today was different. Meg couldn't bring herself to reply with something fun like that, or even daydream a way out too her favorite coffee shop. This wasn't right, the fact she couldn't reply. She looked over at her best friend for a second, than at the floor in front of her. The shag green carpeting starting to look like grass as she stared. "You know Ash... it would be nice..." she managed to squeak out. Her voice cracking as she spoke.
     
  17. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    1 line: "I wont go!" she said emphatically with her face toward the window, tears streaming down her cheeks like the rain on the window pain outside.

    10 sentences: Fish don't fly, jump maybe, swim yes... in water.So how did they get up here in the tree? Amy stood there staring at the branches as if she expected them to tell her the story. What a strange day this was! First the duck drowned and then a white cat barked! She had heard it herself not just 10 minutes ago. Things would get worse, she knew, if they didn't get to the root of this and soon! The stench of rotting fish was getting overwhelming in the summer sun, so Amy pulled a handkerchief out of her vest pocket and covered her face. A young man came running from the area the cars were parked and slid to a halt a few feet from her. "Mam! uhm Boss," he turned red faced while trying to find the right words and stammered on, "th- the sarge wants y-yo-your rep-p-port Mam."
     
  18. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One line:

    He stood there on the street corner, eyes glassy with unshed tears, watching as the cars passed him by, seeing yet unseen.

    10 sentences:

    A darkness unlike any ever before hung over the radiance of Elyne. Shadows from another plane of existence entirely now crept into a world made of light, light that was their sustenance, the only satiation for their never-ending hunger. More and more streamed into Elyne, dimming the light and casting fear, a once unknown emotion, deep into the hearts of its denizens. As one, the Luxes, the sources of Elyne's light fell to the shadow. With the light gone, the shadows swept out in every direction, devouring the Elynians, who themselves were corporeal manifestations of the light. Their screams pierced the eerie silence of Elyne's first dark night and one Elynian, unique in his mentality, harked the terrifying sounds. He took up his instrument, a seven-stringed violin called a setilum and slowly drew the bow across the strings. The music was unearthly, haunting and even terrifying to behold. Yet, his light danced, entranced by what was, to him, the most beautiful music imaginable. He was Magnal, and to him, screams of terror, pain and suffering unfathomable were a sweet, sweet siren song only he could answer.
     
  19. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One liner - "I'm sorry to tell you but there was nothing we could do to save your daughter, though with her blood, we'll be able to save you."

    Ten sentences - Her whole body ached as she lifted herself from the curb. She rubbed her shoulder as she observed her surroundings. The streets were lined with closed shops that hadn't been opened for years, the lack of attention to them was obvious to even the quickest glance. The windows were either shattered or boarded up with wood that now showed signs of rotting and the walls were layered in so much graffiti that one could barely even tell what colour of bricks were used in construction. How did I get here?, she wondered to herself as she walked to an intersection. She read the street signs but neither the name "Clairville Street" or "Tennant Road" seemed familiar to her. She tried to listen closely for any sounds of footsteps or maybe even a distant car but all that she could hear was the light rain around her. It was getting heavier so she walked to one of the stores. She carefully climbed through what used to be a display window, being careful not to cut herself on the edges of the glass. "I guess the better question is how do I get home..." she muttered to herself as she watched the rain outside.

    [[Hope I did a decent job, I will fix if I didn't]]
     
  20. Re: Writing Exercise: One Line of Inspiration.

    One Liner...: Airlodine stood up from the hollow but fear shaking ground, it's deadly scares and frights now away from her body, she walked solemnly, resisting the pain it took to use walk away from her once called friends.PARAGRAPH!: Airlodine stood up from the fear shaking hollow ground. Her body coated with fear. She looked in her direction, the very people who had tricked her into taking such a risk. Water started leaking from her pink and swollen eyes, already finished from the used up supply of tears she had access to earlier. Her bruised and cut legs took stand, skidding across the floor. She ignored the shouts and pleads from her once called friends. Her light reddish eyes stared at the floor below her. She solemnly rubbed a bruise a her occupied legs, regretting every bit of what she had done. She greedily took a breath of air, taking everything in. Hopefully tomorrow would be a much better arrangement.