Marked [EverlyxSterling]

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Kassi gazed at him as he pulled his shirts off, her eyes roaming over the dips and curves of his body. The artist in her could appreciate the beauty of the human body, and knew that he was an exquisite example. The female in her just stopped and stared, feeling as though she had gotten hit by a bus and had the breath knocked out of her. She finally pulled her eyes away, shifting a bit on her stool to get comfortable.

"That's fine. Don't move," she murmured, now perched on the edge of her stool with her knees spread so that she was close to the canvas. She picked up a brush and started to paint, glancing at him every few seconds. It honestly wasn't necessary to look at him that much, but it was good to get a fresh reference every now and then, and looking at him made her want to smile. Within ten minutes she was in her normal rhythm of painting, where she was so focused she noticed little else. Her wet hair had been swept over one shoulder, leaving one side of her neck exposed. This turned out to be a good thing when she switched brushes and stuck one over that ear. She also had a spare brush dangling from her lips, the handle balanced between her teeth as she kept her mouth slightly open so as not to bite down on it. It was easier to keep it handy this way, and she was too wrapped up in what she was doing to care if she looked silly.
 
Mikel was caught in a bind. He promised to behave and remain motionless for the young woman. He was her subject, and as a curator and gallery owner, he knew how important it was cooperate. Mikel watch Kassi with calm enjoyment as she prepared herself - mixed her paints, got comfortable and set her brushes. Then, when Kassi spread her legs to get closer to the easel, Mikel tried hard to control a nervous laugh that threatened his responsibility. Must be still. He closed his eyes, and replayed the night over in his mind. Though thoroughly excited in its duration, the memory of all that occurred gave Mikel a blissful calm. He could feel himself sitting comfortably on the couch, and the couch itself came to life under his touch. He noticed the fabric and texture, much like Kate had. He could feel himself and his body more acutely, and the sensation of stillness overtook Mikel. Then, Mikel was taken with a momentary discomfort - he realized he was being scrutinized. His stomach churned, and a momentary nausea roiled in his gut. He shouldn't be feeling this way, especially not in front of Kassi. She, of all people, would not elicit such emotions in Mikel, and he immediately acknowledge Kassi was innocent and absolved her of any wrong-doing.

Why am I feeling this way? Mikel wondered. Mikel's brows inched forward and his gentle face took on a harder edge. He tried to mitigate it, and hoped Kassi would not notice, let alone memorialize in acrylic.
 
It took Kassi a few moments to realize that Mikel was upset. She was doing light outlines to get a sense of where everything would go on the canvas. Her plan was to leave the very edges blank and have the paint fade out toward them, with him in the center. A bit of the couch would be in there too since he was on it, but not the whole thing. She had just gotten her brush ready to start on his face, figuring it'd be best to do that first so he could relax afterward, when she realized he looked different. Pausing, she tilted her head and gazed at him with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?"
 
Mikel returned a pained look to Kassi's question, it was a gaze that was glazed with many emotions - all of which profoundly bothered the man. His lips pressed together and he swallowed hard. He knew he was breaking, and he soon realized why. It was so stupid, he thought to himself. Mikel knew he was in the throes of a fundamental flaw he carried within him. It wasn't often that he faced this demon, but when he did, he typically fell apart, like now. Most times, Mikel clung to his hard, granite-like, northern exterior to hide his sensitivity. But, he could not this time. There was no mountain to climb and escape the fear he felt inside himself. Even should he summit the highest peak, he knew he'd have to descend and face it yet again.

Today, however, his insecurity was compounded by a new realization. Mikel felt on the spot and silly, which made him more self-conscious, creating a perpetual cycle of self-criticism. Mikel's red eyes fixated on Kassi sweet blue orbs, wondering what was the matter. Mikel radiated a self-inflicted emotion that could not be identified by the woman behind the easel. He sighed, concerned, then reached for his black t-shirt, slipping it on.

"Kass ..." he whispered softly. His arm reached for Kassi, and his finger flexed inward in a silent call for comfort.
 
Kassi blinked in surprise when she saw the look on Mikel's face. It was like he was suffering, but she didn't understand why. The couch was comfortable and she hadn't insulted him as far as she knew. A moment ago he was joking with her, and now he looked like she had run over his cat. She frowned with concern, watching him put his shirt back on. There was a discomfort there. She blinked and tilted her head. Was he self-conscious? That didn't make sense, as he had easily taken the shirt off before and had offered to sit naked for her. She felt lost and confused, but then he beckoned for her.

She carefully set her brushes aside, scooting down off the stool. He needed something, though she wasn't sure what. What was going to make him feel better? She wandered over to him, gently sitting next to him on the couch as she pondered.

"Need a hug?"
 
"Please."

Mikel opened his arms, and invited Kassi closer, and he shifted his weight toward the couch center. This embrace was different from the previous ones, not only due to the unsettled emotions with the northerner; there was a joyful quality when they held one another in the train station and in the restaurant, but Mikel was now clinging to Kassi, and he didn't know how she would react. He gripped Kassi powerfully, and rested his head in the crook of her neck, a divergent arrangement where Kassi enjoyed the vantage of being above Mikel. Mikel shook ever so slightly, like the faint tremors of tectonic friction. Mikel's brow furrowed erratically, spasming in waves of tortured thoughts. Mikel held Kassi close for a long time, and eventually, he calmed himself.

"Kassi, I ..." Mikel paused. A war waged within the man's heart. He wanted to confess everything freely, and be a blubbering mess. But part of him, the part that cared more for Kassi than himself, knew that might be unacceptable. The truth was laced in harsh realities that he did not, could not, subject his sweet love. He decided to offer what he could, and hope Kassi would understand.

"I feel shameful, Kass. For a number of reasons ... I'm sorry I'm acting this way, but the feeling came over me to powerfully ... I'm sorry." Mikel looked pleadingly into Kassi's eyes. Am I betraying myself? "I have certain quirks ... as I'm sure you do, as well. I have ... trouble ... with scrutiny. It bothers me deeply." Mikel was afraid he was torpedoing the entire night, he felt selfish for not being able to control his weakness and insecurity. In that moment, he loathed himself, for he was helpless and at Kassi's mercy. "I forget about it from time to time, and was so enthralled with you, I didn't see ... Kass, it's not you. Please, believe me. It was just that when you looked at me, I felt on display. I realized or remembered that that is why I'm a curator and not an artist - because I detest being judged, and divert attention to others in hopes of escaping expectations. It's one of the reasons I climb so much, and wish to be alone.

"Kassi, I'm not proud of these parts of my character. And I feel shameful because ..." Mikel hesitated, then decided he'd gone this far, "my small episode here is a drop in the bucket compared to what you have experienced all your life. I feel shame in the pettiness of my minor discomfort in front of a lifetime of scrutiny to which you've been subjected. I shouldn't feel this way, and I'm sorry you had to see this part of me."

Mikel sat, waiting for Kassi's reaction, fearing the worst.
 
Kassi curled her arms around Mikel's shoulders, holding him tight. It was odd to be above him this way, but she didn't mind. The vantage point allowed her to snuggle against him in much the same way, though his hold on her was more firm than it had been before. It made her think that he was holding her in an attempt to collect himself. That made sense to her and was something she could easily understand. Though she had never clung to a person, she had done the same with a brush for much of her life. At night, pillows became victims to her grabbing hands. She rested her cheek against the top of his head, keeping quiet as he relaxed himself.

When he finally started to speak, she remained silent to allow him freedom to say as he wished. She listened to everything, through his halting hesitations and wavering voice. His fear was obvious. It was like looking into a mirror. Here he was exposing himself, scared, and she had the power to destroy him. It was not a power that she wanted, not at all. She watched him, slowly shaking her head when he stopped speaking.

"Mikel.. Any person can feel pain. You do not have to suffer for your internal conflict to be valid," she said softly. "Just because you are Marked and have had things handed to you that I can not even imagine.. That does not mean that you aren't allowed to feel inadequate. There are people who have everything and still feel empty inside.."

--

Marjorie woke up, her vision swimming with bright lights and swaths of white. It took several seconds for her to comprehend that she was gazing at a very sterile-looking ceiling. She tipped her head down, taking a slow look around. White tile floors, a sink to the side, pale blue curtains over a small window. An empty visitor's chair sat unused off to the side, next to a small table on wheels holding a glass of water that had been sitting there for hours. A machine beeped softly next to her, the wires trailing down to her arms and chest. She slowly laid her head back down on the stiff pillow, trying to ignore how she ached.

Her husband had been more displeased than she had expected when she got home earlier. He had dismissed the party guests, saying his wife was ill. As soon as she got home, she realized he was completely drunk and waiting for her. She didn't even have a chance to run. Now she was stuck here in the hospital, having been admitted under the pretense that she had been mugged by an Unmarked man on her way to the store for medication for her nonexistent illness. She had no visitors, none at all. Her family had not been informed and her husband refused to acknowledge her. She closed her eyes, holding back silent tears.

--

"You are allowed to feel. Don't ever feel shame because of that," Kassi murmured.

"When I was eleven, I could not control my feelings. I thought.. I thought if I was different, maybe I would have friends and maybe my family would like me more," she went on, not looking at him now. "I thought that maybe I could fix it myself. There was a farm near my house that my brother and I visited sometimes, to see the horses, but they also had cattle. I found a branding iron," she said softly, giving a small nod toward the warped scar on her arm.

"Sometimes feelings are wretched and tear us apart.. but sometimes they don't. You make me happy, Mikel."
 
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Mikel gazed at Kassi's brand, forgetting his own afflictions in that moment. The brand struck Mikel as pathetic, as an attempt to install a mark upon herself - a mark to conform, to heal, to feel and be convinced that love was an emotion worth feeling. Mikel respected Kassi too much to degrade her with pity, but in that moment, Mikel gave over himself to the anguish that must have compelled Kassi to even consider harming herself. All for the sake of feelings. Mikel closed his eyes, bent down and tenderly kissed Kassi's branded skin. His lips lingered, and kissed it again. His hand smoothed over Kassi's brand and settled upon it, not to hide it, in hopes of soothing it. Which was ridiculous, since Kassi likely experienced neither the physical or emotional trauma from that particular event at the moment. Mikel just felt the need to do something for her, even if simply to acknowledge it.

Mikel sat more upright then, and touched Kassi's temple with his own. Kassi's weight on top of Mikel's leg felt comforting, and he continued to hold her. His hands began to rub her back, and he seemed to return to his more stoic disposition. "I'm feeling better, Kass. Thank you. I'm still sorry to fall apart the way I did, but it was worth it to know my love was given wisely." Mikel's cobalt eyes glowed for Kassi, it was a generative aura that came when connections are feared lost, but are instead revealed to be reaffirmed, renewed, and strengthened. It was this bonding that Mikel craved, and has always craved from someone. Kassi sat on top of Mikel because she wanted to, because she choose to, and Mikel felt fortified by Kassi's fidelity.

"I want you to continue the painting ... please?" he asked with a small smile.
 
Kassi tensed slightly at first when his lips touched her skin, but then she relaxed and smiled a bit. She closed her eyes for a few moments as his temple rested on hers. This was nice. Being open was.. hard. Painful, even. Yet the feeling afterward was freeing. She had never told anybody that story before. Her parents had been more annoyed than anything else when they had to take her to the doctor for it. She had been scolded for hours on her foolishness. And for what? It did not earn her any friends or any happiness, only more ridicule when the kids at school saw what she did. After that she had worn long sleeves at all times and had never stopped when she wasn't alone.. except for right now.

"Are you sure?" she asked, opening her eyes to look at Mikel. She smiled and slid out of his lap, walking back over to the canvas. "I've got a good enough look at you and an outline. You don't have to sit still anymore, you can do whatever you want," she informed him, taking her seat on the stool and picking up a brush.
 
"No, no ..." Mikel said. "I want to ... really I do."

Mikel removed his shirt, and reconstructed the pose he had made before his episode. His eyes closed and he took himself back to a time when he was a boy. He hiked with a group of boys and girls his age to various destinations. Some were near, some were far, and the farthest ones required the most preparation, but exalted in unparalleled beauty. He remembered a trek once to a vast alpine lake, Grünensee, that was fifteen miles from the nearest town. The route was determined by the older boys in the group, but most of the hikers sought Mikel's opinion on most every aspect of the adventure - what to wear, what to pack, and whether the route was indeed the best. The indirect questioning of their leadership piqued moments of anger from the older boys, but Mikel simply spoke what he felt was best. "His father's a Stedler, but his mother's a Rüxman," they'd say, "you're going to follow the advice of someone whose kin has never left the valley?" Mikel took their condescension in stride, trying to ignore the barbs that were meant to subvert his integrity and competence. The breeze blew particularly cold that day, and Mikel felt a deep unease with the weather. "We should head back," he suggested. The older boys mocked him and carried on, but Mikel noticed the other children, how some of them were not strong enough to complete a forced march through rough terrain should snow fall. "We're headed back," Mikel shouted ahead. The last response anyone heard from the boys was their jeering taunts as they carried themselves to their frosted graves.

Mikel ensured every last boy and girl made it back to the village. It was made known that the older boys had not returned, and Mikel felt a swirled collection of gazes - some accusatory for having left the other boys, some grateful for bringing the younger children home. Mikel did not understand the degrees the people exhibited. He did what he felt was right, and their gazes became an absolute monolith of attention. Mikel held hope that the older boys would turn up, but they never did, and the mass attention paid to Mikel that day left a brand upon his soul, one that stung from a perceived failure of his own accord. He did what was right, but paid the price of hearing the grumblings from bereaved parents needing to blame a victim for their son's appalling lack of wisdom. The mountains were true, but dangerous. They beckoned and had little tolerance for those who were unconcerned for the well-being of others. Mikel pressed down the memory of those lost boys, and convinced himself the mountains had judged them unfit. Still, guilt had crept in over the years and was released, thanks to the soft eyes of a very special woman behind an easel.

Mikel forgot he was on the couch, and that a beautiful young woman was doing something he normally loathed. This time, he welcomed the gaze from Kassi without interruption or turmoil.

"I'd like to take you to the mountains, sometime," he said, trying not to move. "I think you'd like it ..."
 
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Kassi looked up at him with a smile, pausing in the middle of painting his face.

"I would love to."

She returned her attention to the painting, a song swirling in her mind. That often happened when she painted without music playing in her ears. Instead she thought of her favorite songs, mentally singing along as she allowed the brush to dip and glide across the canvas. Her attention to detail was bordering on obsessive, but that was what it took to create a painting so lifelike that it could be compared to a portrait. That was what she wanted this to be. She wanted it to look real, to show Mikel as she saw him. In her painting, the light of the lamp behind her was the only illumination she had. It made Mikel's hair shine since it was still damp, and her brush had a swirling bit of fun creating his curls. She put a smile on his face, the same smile that he had given her several times already. The eyes were intense, which was how she saw them. Intense and soft all at once, somehow. She smiled to herself, getting a few spots of green on her cheek as she tapped it absently, eyeing the painting to decide where to go next. Her couch was green. She tilted her head, glancing at Mikel before returning to the painting again.

In all, it only took her about two hours. When she was done, she was satisfied. It looked, to her, just like he was sitting there in front of her and waiting for a hug or another dance. She smiled and set most of her brushes aside.

"Would you like to come see?" she asked, signing her name in the lower right hand corner as she always did.
 
"I'd love to," Mikel said rising from the couch. His muscles were stiff, especially his legs, and after some cursory stretches he stood by Kassi's side.

The painting was simply perfect. It wasn't an effort that took weeks to complete, but it didn't need to. Kassi had succeeded in capturing something essential about Mikel, revealed in his eyes, his face, and pose. The portrait had another quality that came from outside Mikel. Kassi had imprinted her own impression of Mikel into her brushwork, and the frankness humbled him to the core. He saw admiration and strength. Words had trouble coming to Mikel just then, and he stared into the details more closely. His hair was rendered with a gentle, yet persistent attention that made Mikel love Kassi more. Kassi has rendered Mikel's inner spirit, and she did so with devoted love. He returned the work to the easel, and placed his hand on Kassi cheek.

"It's simply divine. It's perfect." He stood there for a few moments, not sure what to say.
 
"I'm so glad you like it," she said, relieved. She slid off the stood and stretched a bit, then collected her paint supplies and carefully put them away. Apparently she could still paint after all. It simply took finding the right muse. And as far as muses went, Mikel was a pretty fantastic one. Not only did he inspire her, but he was willing to sit and model for her for hours. She smiled to herself, folding her easel and setting it aside before turning to him.

"Alright. You chose dinner, I chose this. It's your turn again," she informed him. "What do you want to do now?"
 
Mikel gave a nervous chuckle. "We're taking turns now?" He was grinning, unsure of himself for some reason. He reached up and scratched the back of this curly-haired head. He knew precisely what he wanted to do next, but was afraid of over-stepping himself and scaring away this precious woman.

"I'm open to ideas, ... but, just sitting here and being close sounds like heaven."
 
Kassi smiled and took his hand, bringing him back over to the couch. She sat down and curled her legs up in front of her comfortably. Sitting and being close did sound nice. She gave half a thought to turning the television on, but quickly decided against it. More bad news wasn't something she needed. Instead, she gazed at Mikel with a curious smile.

"What's your favorite color?"
 
Mikel gladly sat his large frame down next to Kassi. He thought her eyes flitted with energy after painting, and then being so close to the subject she studied for the last two hours. Mikel's stomach was happy, and little bubbles seemed to be popping inside. He gave an amused glance at Kassi's question.

"Blue ... Light Blue, actually. Why do you ask?"
 
"I think a favorite color can say a lot about a person. There are some painters who make all of their pieces in just one color in a bunch of different shades - so many shades you almost forget it's all one color! .. but, I guess you probably already knew that," she said with a bit of a laugh, remembering belatedly that he spent his life around art too. She smiled and hesitantly scooted just a tiny bit closer to his side, being sneaky. Or so she thought. "I can't think of anything else to talk about. You ask a question, I'm drawing blanks. We can take turns."
 
Mikel's cheeks began to pleasantly ache from smiling so broadly. He felt an excited nervousness that was nothing short of exhilarating. Mikel's warm hand migrated onto Kassi's upper forearm, stroking gently back and forth in a calming rhythm. He glanced from Kassi's arm to her eyes, and breathed them into an openness that yearned for even more closeness. Kassi was intoxicating, every part of her. Mikel could catch her scent now, an earthy-perfume mixed with acrylic that was sublimely erotic. At that moment, he felt caught as if on a rock-slide heading down with no way of return. Mikel would have cast away any ropes at this moment, for the momentum of Kassi's mouth drew him closer.

Mikel gently held the side of Kassi's neck, and leaned in to kiss Kassi's perfect lips.
 
Kassi looked up at Mikel expectantly, waiting for some sort of random question to pop out of his mouth. Instead, he shifted closer to her and she realized all too late what his intention was. She hesitated then, tense as she froze. Internally she was struggling between a heated anticipation and hysterical panic. On one hand, she really did want to kiss him and know what it was like to be closer to him in that way. But on the other hand, she still had not fully accepted that a Marked man was in love with her. What about his calling? Did a kiss mean anything to him? It certainly did to her. She wasn't sure she was prepared for the kind of pain that might be brought on after something like this.

Yet she wasn't prepared to resist, either.

Half a second before he kissed her, she finally made up her mind. She closed her eyes and relaxed, one hand resting against him as she felt his lips meet her own. It was warm and gentle and so many other things that she hadn't expected or known. She felt a thrill in her heart and she smiled against his lips, carefully kissing him back.
 
Mikel felt unparalleled joy course through his body like a surge of cosmic energy. Mikel's lips could feel Kassi's mouth smile, then alternate between more smiling and kissing. Mikel made each kiss an artistic statement as best he could, running his slick lips over Kassi's, then choosing between her upper, then lower lip to adore with his mouth. Mikel wanted each kiss to be memorable, he wanted Kassi to know how good it felt to be close to him. After some minutes, Mikel eased back, blowing his warm breath onto Kassi's cheek and encircling their noses lovingly.

"That ... was my question," he said, dizzy with content. "Your turn."
 
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