Love philosophy 101

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by unanun, Dec 1, 2011.

  1. Yes, let's talk about love indeed.

    I have a hypothesis: human emotion is relative. There is no such thing as happiness, without sadness, relief without despair. So, at the end of the day whatever happiness you have in a relationship becomes your new baseline, and the good times fade into the normal times.

    How would you deal with this?
     
  2. Re: Let's talk about love.

    Unanum.. you just gained brownie points in my book.
     
  3. Re: Let's talk about love.

    Well, if someone doesn't believe your hypothesis and sees the world differently, then I'm sure they might not have the same problems. Are you suggesting "normal time" is just one big negative experience? That must be very exhausting for you. I don't really have that same feeling. There's a balance of good and bad, they go back and forth. I think, and if you really look at what is good and bad in your life, look at it from a broad view, a more balanced view can be seen.

    Also just my opinion, but it seems you sort of attack these threads.
     
  4. Re: Let's talk about love.

    S/he makes a good point though. We base our description of whether an experience was Good or Bad based off of our past experiences. Our definitions of Good and Bad are defined by our past. Mix in a little bit of what society tells us is Good and Bad and there you go.
     
  5. Re: Let's talk about love.

    To address the first part, it actually reminds me a lot of a song by the rapper Scarface called "I Seen A Man Die". In the second verse, he says, "Imagine life at it's full peak, then imagine laying dead in the arms of your enemy. Imagine peace on this Earth when there's no grief, imagine grief on this Earth when there's no peace."

    Ying and yang. Up and down.

    I think a lot of people use, or have used, relationships in the way you describe before. What one needs to do is be less analytical of their experiences. What's done is done, and you can't change the past no matter how hard you try. You can try to drown out the past, but those experiences, good or bad, are still a part of who you are. Learn from them and move on.
     
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  6. Re: Let's talk about love.

    Normal times aren't bad times at all. In fact, they are tranquil times and I like those the most. But the heady rush of lust and passion at first will usually, eventually, fade. Then what? A new relationship for more of the same, or a transition into a different mindset regarding the relationship?

    I was criticized about being combative sounding in a first series of posts I made here. Perhaps that's how I write. Anyways, I was looking through these threads and it seemed more interesting to incite conversation versus posting disconnected responses to quizes.
     
  7. Re: Let's talk about love.

    It honestly depends on the person and the direction the relationship is going towards. If the relationship is moving smoothly, why change? Does the "lust" become a love that burns within your heart, or just something that causes heartburn when you think about it?

    Not every relationship is destined to end. Some truly can last until "death do us part."
     
  8. Re: Let's talk about love.

    It's a question of voluntarily changing, but just of 'emotional acclimitization', or tempering, or some other more accurate term. Your emotions will eventually damp; you can't be euphoric forever. Here are some scientific papers on the issue:

    http://repub.eur.nl/res/pub/16148/91a-full_journalcopy.pdf

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

    http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/36/8/917/

    Anyways, just some food for thought.

    Jesus, I ain't fighting, I'm having a decent conversation with Alan. Ironically, your attempts at placating me are creating a problem when there isn't one! Feel free to PM me your thoughts if this is shut down.
     
  9. Re: Let's talk about love.

    Being of both a somewhat scientific mind, and a bit on the emotional side of things, emotions of this sort don't have to "dampen," so to speak. Love doesn't have to end.

    There are some things that science cannot explain, some that science can explain, and others still that science attempts to explain and fails at. I think trying to scientifically analyze such a volatile emotion like love is one thing that science is failing at explaining, but also has no business trying to explain. Everyone is different. Some people may not ever find "the one," while others may find "the one" and eventually grow tired (emotions dampen? perhaps) of them. Others still will find that one, and stay with that person forever.

    Remember that emotions are irrational, and oftentimes illogical to the scientific eye. Some love does not wane. Painting with a broad brush can often make one look like the fool. In this case, the authors of the scientific papers. ;)
     
  10. First of all, I want to say this: Love is love is love.

    To this whole good and bad and evil nonsense: there is no such thing as relative good and relative bad. There is universal good, and universal bad. Just because your culture or upbringing tells you it is or isn't wrong, does not make that right. Good and Evil is an objective constant; there are no variables.

    Okay, now relative emotions. Yes, these are certainly relative and wholly dependent upon the person and situation. Will one event make you happy, and another sad? Of course; it's all about perspective and certain points of view. But to say that living in and of itself is one long thread of slightly-negative with certain events bringing you up to a happy line until you just come back down to a life of pessimism is... narrow but, most of all, sad.

    It is as one says: relative. I do not mean to cheapen your existence of constant negativity; if that's the way you want to live and experience life, then by all means, have at thee. That said, life is what you make of it. It can be a constant thrill, or a constant reminder of how much things suck. It's all down to the person, and nothing we do or say can change that about them.

    But these spikes of emotion? Certainly they can be just that, spikes. But how can one say that that rise or fall cannot become their new "baseline"? Again, life, living and emotional bearing are all what we make of it. There is no scientific formula to how we as an individual and a species bear our loads of baggage or relieve ourselves from it. If we choose to, we will, and can.

    Now, looping around: love is love is love.

    We experience what we feel is love, which is lust, at all manner of the day. This is, as through my definition, a rush in which we simply want to lay with the person. Another way of looking at is is the thrill in which we imagine ourselves being with that person, say, romantically. It's a momentary thing, a flash of brilliance in what we perceive to be mundane, or normal. It's why cheating happens-- we see a flash of something and want to grab onto it.

    But love transcends the grey, the flashes, the mundane, the lust. Love is... love. It is indescribable, undefinable, unformulaic, and unimaginable. It is a feeling in which we suddenly become god in our own universe, and we make of it as we will. Love doesn't cheapen, it doesn't become lax or weak or something less of what it used to be: that's us. We as humans let love dim and fade away, or we let our vision skew away from it. But love will always be, and burns just as brilliant as it always will.
     
  11. I'd have to disagree on that. Social mores usually set the context for judgement of actions. Do you eat cow? My culture considers it OK to eat dogs. Sex when young? Ritualistic murder? You need to be very careful when you look at these issues because more often than not you are analyzing them through your own cultural lenses.

    I never said that. I'm pretty content with the way things are. One might even say I am happy. But do I feel 'happy', do I feel noticeably happy every day? Hm. Maybe. Most of the time, I don't notice it unless I do a bit of introspection. Therefore, this emotional state I am in is the baseline, because I don't notice it unless I specifically ask myself what my emotional state is.

    Would you feel happiness above your baseline if you went on the same date with your SO once? Twice? Four times? Eight? .. One hundred? Doing the exact same thing? No, you have to change it up or you will build tolerance. If you want to grasp happiness above your baseline you must always be giving yourself fresh emotional input.

    So my original point I was trying to get across was something like this: unless you make lots of money and have years to spend travelling the world and doing everything, life is more of the same than different. How do you see yourself incorporating the everyday into love? My answer is simple, I am at complete peace with the everyday and I find contentment more enjoyable than novel happiness.

    When I asked my SO out we didn't know for sure how much we liked each other. It started off pretty low key and slowly built into something valuable over time. All I acted on was my vague (well, not that vague) feelings of attraction. We both agree that because of the slow ramp up we were able to get past the whole phase of head-over-heels and settle into something much more tranquil.
     
  12. You did not just say money buys happiness did you?
     
  13. Some people are plenty happy doing the same activities repeatedly. My mom and her husband for example... They go to the movies almost every Tuesday and have a great time. They're very in love, too. These routines they have in their love life are beautiful, simple things that I very much admire. Hell, every night is a routine, too. They sit down, have a late supper and watch something on television. They have done this for more than a year together, and don't get tired of it.

    One of my personal views is I'd rather be poor and in love than wealthy and in a "tolerable" relationship. Not to say those who have lots of money are in those sorts of relationships. Rich people find love too. But, well, my relationship before Peter/Butterfly was like that; it was just... Adequate. My ex and I had access to all the money we needed and we had a promising future because he's highly intelligent and a genius who could get any freakin' job he wanted. I wouldn't even need a job if we stayed together and got married because he'd be making more than enough to provide for us. We had variety in our dating and all that jazz. However... I wasn't happy. No matter how many nice things he bought me, how much time he spent with me, it just didn't feel right. I wasn't in love with him like I thought I was. Nothing he did could change that. We just got so... Distant. *rambling*

    ...

    So, I abandoned that life. ... Well, technically, I was forced out of it because his mother decided to be a bitch, but that's beside the point. One does not have to have a lot of money to make their significant other happy. A lesson from Zombieland to keep in mind: "Enjoy the little things." When you sincerely love a person, you don't care how you spend your time with them. Simply existing with them is blissful. Being the simple woman I am, I can be satisfied with just sitting on the couch telling silly stories or singing songs to one another for hours. That doesn't cost me a cent. :) All that matters is me and him.

    But perhaps I am wrong? Every person is different. I am aware of that. Different people have different needs when it comes to love and relationships. *nod*

    Now I'm off to slay the innocent because I just about killed myself with this sappy sap. *goes off to kill with her lightsaber*
     
  14. Where did you think I implied that?

    At the end of the month after my monthly obligations I pocket 200-300, so I'm not exactly rich. But as I stated, I am quite happy.

    Well, I'm pretty lonely since I moved to the states for grad school. Buuut .. all things considered, life's good. Would I want more money? Tough question. If I said yes, does that make me shallow? Could I use more money right now? Does my lifestyle require more? No. But still, I'd like more money, to save, to be able to buy a house, to provide for my future family ...

    Right, being content with routine is pretty key.
     
  15. WAIT A SEC.
    Fluffs.. and.. Pete-san...
    IWAKU COUPLE?!?!
    -adds to the list.-
     
  16. Jesus Staci...

    Even though my posts were transferred over.... Im refraining from further comment upon this. My views tend to cause arguments ..
     
  17. :<
    I seem to not know what happens here.~
    I CAN'T WAIT TO DRAW THE COUPLES. >:D
    I know my views on love.
    But.
    I'm scared to say. o.o
     
  18. No one's going to bite you for having an opinion.
     
  19. My opinion? Love is completely and utterly unavoidable. I agree with the yin-yang theory for starters. There can not be one without the other. Push without a pull. Good without a bad. Love without Hate. Life without Death. It's all apart of this vast cycle we call harmony.

    Though love may be unavoidable, there is always different fields of it. Brotherly, puppy, true, unconditional. The things that love have are something that money can never touch no matter how "significant" currency may seem.
    Go to the park. "But what if we need to drive there? We need gas money." Walk. You can love someone in a mansion or a cardboard box. Love is something that takes no EXTREME thought. It's an emotion, just like happiness, envy, depression. We don't deeply think about it: we just feel.

    These feelings are what make us humans unique. There has to be sacrifices made, sure, but in the vast scheme of things, aren't they worth it? Just to feel and love and be loved? I think so. That does not mean love should be taken lightly: it's a very powerful word. This is why I don't understand how people can be so quick to say they "hate" someone but hesitant when they say the "love" someone.

    Me? I choose love. :)
     
  20. I AGREE WITH ILIANA-SAN.
    <3
    There.