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I have my high school crush on Facebook, and I realized today that I really missed a bullet by never confessing how I felt about him. But, it did get me thinking about how people who are young and in love are completely devastated when their first relationships falls apart, or their first love doesn't even acknowledge them. I know most people give the lame words of wisdom like 'Life works in mysterious ways' or 'There's plenty of fish in the sea' during those times, but they don't really do much. So, I thought I'd give a bit of insight to how things can work out for the best, even when you think it won't.
I met my crush freshman year. It was my first day fresh out of Catholic School and straight into the wonderful public school system, and I was completely shell shocked. I don't even think I said a word to anyone unless one of the teachers asked me a question. He was in nearly every single one of my classes, and thanks to alphabetical seating arrangements, he sat either beside me, or behind me in every class. For four years we flirted back and forth, hell, he even wrote a poem about me for an assignment and read it in front of our English class. (I still have no idea how I didn't melt into a puddle afterwards!) On our graduation day, I rode with him to the college where the ceremony was, and thought for sure that day was going to be the day we both fessed up and started dating. Turns out it wasn't. He joined the army, and I moved in with some friends, and that was the last tie we ever saw each other. For years I thought that he was my 'One that got away' and always regretted that nothing ever happened between us.
Skip to five years ago and I get a friend request from none other than my crush at a time in my life when I was not exactly the happiest in my marriage. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him a bit, and that there wasn't some temptation there. I mean, come on! I was unhappy in my marriage, he was unhappy in his relationship. It was kind of the perfect set up for something to happen. But, I didn't. Like the good little wifey that I am, I stopped talking to him and focused on trying to make things work with my hubby, which they did.
Skip another year down the road, and I see that my crush is in a new relationship and expecting a baby. I was happy for him, but in my mind I still wondered what it would have been like if we had gotten together. After a while I see baby pictures, and little love messages to his girlfriend, and felt the green eyed monster poking at me. Thankfully, I ignored it and didn't go back to my flirtatious ways because only a year after his daughter was born I see the same man who I thought was a complete sweetheart, and who in my mind was Mr. Perfect trash talking his girlfriend on Facebook. Every little problem he had with her, he broadcasted for all of his Facebook friends to see, and when he wasn't belittling her, he was cussing her out for taking his daughter away from him. I soon learned that the boy who I always considered my Prince Charming wasn't even worthy enough to be called a frog.
I know by now most people are probably wondering 'What the hell is your point with this?' and I do have one. The truth is, your heart doesn't believe what's in front of your eyes. It sees what it wants to see, and ignores the glaring flaws that make a person less appealing in favor of clinging to a dream. Love isn't all romance and fuzzy feelings. Sure, someone may make you feel that way now, but when the going gets tough and you're plummeting to rock bottom, does that person still make you feel the same way? If you say no, than it isn't a question of whether the person is right for you or not. THEY AREN'T!
Love means sticking together through the shit life throws at you and making each other stronger during the storm, not weaker. It's knowing that when you feel like crying for no reason at all, you can hug them and know that they'll try to make you feel better, not question you. It's not all dinners, dancing, and flowers. Sometimes it is, but what it always is, is sitting in the same room and knowing that you can say whatever is on your mind and they're listening. Yes, a person who loves you can make you feel like complete and utter shit at times, but what pulls them apart from the person who doesn't love you is, they do their damnedest to pick you back up again, dust you off, and try not to do it again.
So if you find yourself depressed about your relationship, and wondering if you really should be with the person your with. Ask yourself this. When you're depressed, are they there with you? Or are they off trying to make themselves happy and leaving you to wallow in your misery?
I met my crush freshman year. It was my first day fresh out of Catholic School and straight into the wonderful public school system, and I was completely shell shocked. I don't even think I said a word to anyone unless one of the teachers asked me a question. He was in nearly every single one of my classes, and thanks to alphabetical seating arrangements, he sat either beside me, or behind me in every class. For four years we flirted back and forth, hell, he even wrote a poem about me for an assignment and read it in front of our English class. (I still have no idea how I didn't melt into a puddle afterwards!) On our graduation day, I rode with him to the college where the ceremony was, and thought for sure that day was going to be the day we both fessed up and started dating. Turns out it wasn't. He joined the army, and I moved in with some friends, and that was the last tie we ever saw each other. For years I thought that he was my 'One that got away' and always regretted that nothing ever happened between us.
Skip to five years ago and I get a friend request from none other than my crush at a time in my life when I was not exactly the happiest in my marriage. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him a bit, and that there wasn't some temptation there. I mean, come on! I was unhappy in my marriage, he was unhappy in his relationship. It was kind of the perfect set up for something to happen. But, I didn't. Like the good little wifey that I am, I stopped talking to him and focused on trying to make things work with my hubby, which they did.
Skip another year down the road, and I see that my crush is in a new relationship and expecting a baby. I was happy for him, but in my mind I still wondered what it would have been like if we had gotten together. After a while I see baby pictures, and little love messages to his girlfriend, and felt the green eyed monster poking at me. Thankfully, I ignored it and didn't go back to my flirtatious ways because only a year after his daughter was born I see the same man who I thought was a complete sweetheart, and who in my mind was Mr. Perfect trash talking his girlfriend on Facebook. Every little problem he had with her, he broadcasted for all of his Facebook friends to see, and when he wasn't belittling her, he was cussing her out for taking his daughter away from him. I soon learned that the boy who I always considered my Prince Charming wasn't even worthy enough to be called a frog.
I know by now most people are probably wondering 'What the hell is your point with this?' and I do have one. The truth is, your heart doesn't believe what's in front of your eyes. It sees what it wants to see, and ignores the glaring flaws that make a person less appealing in favor of clinging to a dream. Love isn't all romance and fuzzy feelings. Sure, someone may make you feel that way now, but when the going gets tough and you're plummeting to rock bottom, does that person still make you feel the same way? If you say no, than it isn't a question of whether the person is right for you or not. THEY AREN'T!
Love means sticking together through the shit life throws at you and making each other stronger during the storm, not weaker. It's knowing that when you feel like crying for no reason at all, you can hug them and know that they'll try to make you feel better, not question you. It's not all dinners, dancing, and flowers. Sometimes it is, but what it always is, is sitting in the same room and knowing that you can say whatever is on your mind and they're listening. Yes, a person who loves you can make you feel like complete and utter shit at times, but what pulls them apart from the person who doesn't love you is, they do their damnedest to pick you back up again, dust you off, and try not to do it again.
So if you find yourself depressed about your relationship, and wondering if you really should be with the person your with. Ask yourself this. When you're depressed, are they there with you? Or are they off trying to make themselves happy and leaving you to wallow in your misery?