Let's Talk Invisible Illness and Mental Health

[Sir Salty]

If I may ask, what kind of therapy are you part of? Are you able to give any details or specifics on how they operate, what they do?

First off I want to thank you for the excellent post. I can never get my concise thoughts down in a proper manner like that, but I can write like crazy. lol

Well I see a therapist every week and we just talk about my week. If I have a problem we try to dissect it together and we try to figure it out. She gives me different viewpoints. But she also helps me get resources and helps me work towards getting a stable housing situation.

On the other hand my social therapy group, is more about young adults talking to each other and giving each other different skill sets and helping them with tricky situations. Also we just provide a place to talk so we're all not socially isolated.

To be honest, I am pretty much socially imprisoned. I fail to have really good relationships with people, I been described as the type of person you either get to know and know I am not entirely a horrible person. Or you meet me the first time and completely write me off. I am seen as off. Is what someone once told me. That I seem off. They cannot quite put their finger on it, but I seem off.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

First off I want to thank you for the excellent post. I can never get my concise thoughts down in a proper manner like that, but I can write like crazy. lol

I... I had made that 8 minutes ago...

You read fast... o_o

Well I see a therapist every week and we just talk about my week. If I have a problem we try to dissect it together and we try to figure it out. She gives me different viewpoints. But she also helps me get resources and helps me work towards getting a stable housing situation.

So less of an Autism Therapist and more of a Consultation Therapist?

If that's helping you then it helps. But I suggest the Notepad idea even more now, stuff like Autism sensitivities don't just go away over time or with some words. That stuff takes constant practice and dedication, but the first step to that would be actually knowing that the triggers are to start with.

On the other hand my social therapy group, is more about young adults talking to each other and giving each other different skill sets and helping them with tricky situations. Also we just provide a place to talk so we're all not socially isolated.

Social Exposure is probably one of the more important bits to be tackling, so I'm glad that one's being covered. :)

That being said though, there are certain social standards you can easily get away with in a room full of Autistic people that you can't in day to day life. So I'd suggest getting some exposure to other social interaction too, just as a way to practice things. Not in a "You must hangout with those without Autism!" deal, be friends with whoever you want.

But there are certain aspects of life, work, interviews, shopping etc. that require dealing with other people. It helps to know enough to be able to get through those situations without getting any stress.

To be honest, I am pretty much socially imprisoned. I fail to have really good relationships with people, I been described as the type of person you either get to know and know I am not entirely a horrible person. Or you meet me the first time and completely write me off. I am seen as off. Is what someone once told me. That I seem off. They cannot quite put their finger on it, but I seem off.

Ah, the "Oddball" syndrome (that's not official terminology by the way. It's just an easy way to describe it).

That's common with a lot of Mental Illnesses actually on the higher functioning side. If I had to give any advice in a nutshell (and without seeing you myself to see what the 'off' things are) it'd just be try to express confidence. Everyone except the most extroverted of people always feel odd in front of others, which can often leave to a sense of uneasiness. If you express confidence it's something that other people can both respect, and attach to so that even if you seem off they have a sense of security so the 'off' bit can more easily be something that's intriguing to them rather than something to be worried about.

 

[Sir Salty]

I... I had made that 8 minutes ago...

You read fast... o_o

So less of an Autism Therapist and more of a Consultation Therapist?

If that's helping you then it helps. But I suggest the Notepad idea even more now, stuff like Autism sensitivities don't just go away over time or with some words. That stuff takes constant practice and dedication, but the first step to that would be actually knowing that the triggers are to start with.

Social Exposure is probably one of the more important bits to be tackling, so I'm glad that one's being covered. :)

That being said though, there are certain social standards you can easily get away with in a room full of Autistic people that you can't in day to day life. So I'd suggest getting some exposure to other social interaction too, just as a way to practice things. Not in a "You must hangout with those without Autism!" deal, be friends with whoever you want.

But there are certain aspects of life, work, interviews, shopping etc. that require dealing with other people. It helps to know enough to be able to get through those situations without getting any stress.

Ah, the "Oddball" syndrome (that's not official terminology by the way. It's just an easy way to describe it).

That's common with a lot of Mental Illnesses actually on the higher functioning side. If I had to give any advice in a nutshell (and without seeing you myself to see what the 'off' things are) it'd just be try to express confidence. Everyone except the most extroverted of people always feel odd in front of others, which can often leave to a sense of uneasiness. If you express confidence it's something that other people can both respect, and attach to so that even if you seem off they have a sense of security so the 'off' bit can more easily be something that's intriguing to them rather than something to be worried about.

I do work at a Haunted House. So I do hang out with a few non autistic people from time to.

I think I spoke earlier about how I turn my weaknesses into strengths, but they are still weaknesses. I always tell people I have Autistic Charisma. I make a joke out of it, but I make it work in my favor and it seems to ease that odd ballness. As it was my way of combating it.

And yeah I do read fast.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I do work at a Haunted House. So I do hang out with a few non autistic people from time to.

Oh so that was you! (Not the best at remembering everyone at first. Sorry. :/)

Didn't you mention in an earlier thread how you had co-workers talking about how no one can do what you do there? Sounds like you're always doing rather well socially as far as work is concerned. :)

I think I spoke earlier about how I turn my weaknesses into strengths, but they are still weaknesses. I always tell people I have Autistic Charisma. I make a joke out of it, but I make it work in my favor and it seems to ease that odd ballness. As it was my way of combating it.

I'm a little lost here though. Do you mean you play on your Autistic traits?

And yeah I do read fast.

Including the history bit? Cause if so... wow. o_o

 

[Sir Salty]

Oh so that was you! (Not the best at remembering everyone at first. Sorry. :/)

Didn't you mention in an earlier thread how you had co-workers talking about how no one can do what you do there? Sounds like you're always doing rather well socially as far as work is concerned. :)

I'm a little lost here though. Do you mean you play on your Autistic traits?

Including the history bit? Cause if so... wow. o_o

Errr I wouldn't say play, a lot of my humor and a lot of my identity. Is making fun of myself and using satire to make points. I am never really super serious. It seems to work for people.

Yes, including the history bit, mate I read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in a day.

 

[Weegee]

Am I too late to jump in this?

No?

Okay so I have been suffering since.... 5 years old from depression. Now, most people have told me "oh children can't suffer from such a horrible thing because they're just children" and blah blah blah but fact of the matter is, children can and they do. Mine started simply because my parents relationship was very unstable which led to an unstable household, up until I was 6 or 7 because my mother moved me out before she moved herself (to her mothers house) also for the reason of my father having sexually abused me. Super gross of him, yeah I know. But anyways, so I was in therapy and counseling since then. In elementary school, I was pulled from my class to go speak to some specialist every day.

Ff to middle school. Still going to counseling except it was after school, once a week. The one time I even showed some type of suicidal thought in school, they pulled me for the day and sent me to my counselor, telling me I couldn't come back till I spoke with them. Now, at the time it made me feel pretty bad considering I was also dealing with social anxiety and ADHD (we'll get into that later) and so I thought "so now everyone is gonna think I'm a bad person" which I already thought because I always had this feeling of my mother and family thinking that the divorce of my parents and what my dad did was my fault entirely and to this day, I still think that because of how I'm treated in comparison to my brother.

Ff to high school...lol yeah barely graduated. I even moved out my senior year to live with a current ex bf. I was lucky enough to graduate imo cuz I was still going to therapy and I was prescribed medication for...bipolar. Yup, got diagnosed with that as well as ADHD but medication wasn't even helping and I didn't have money at the time to go to another therapist to get another opinion. The funny thing with doctors and such...most of them do their job just to do it. For money. That's how it is and that's how it's always gonna be which is why they're always going to the books and anyone who comes in there with certain symptoms gets a specific diagnosis. Most people get mis-diagnosed and it can cause long term problems.

Having suffered for so long, I feel like now, it's harder for me than it's ever been. I'm an adult now and looking for work so, ADHD and social anxiety and depression, amongst other things, are taking a toll on me. My sleeping schedule changed drastically and insomnia is a thing. I don't sleep when I really want to. My body doesn't wanna shut down when I need it to which causes me to stay up all hours of the night and have to endure my mother telling me that I'm a problem (saying that in a nicer way than I'm hearing it). I get over emotional and have anxiety attacks a lot more than I used to. When I get turned down for a job, it makes me feel like total shit and then that puts me into panic mode.

I feel like I went off topic a lot....but basically, mental illnesses, especially ones considered "invisible" probably get talked about and pushed aside. They require so many things just for a single diagnosis. Oh and don't even get me started about people bashing those who self diagnose because...wow. I feel like when you go to the therapist, or even a doctor for other specialties, they basically ask you to self diagnose prior to them making an actual one because they ask "what does it feel like" at least one therapist I had did that. Most illnesses go unnoticed for long periods of time and it doesn't help anybody in the long run.

Rant over-

 

[Isho13]

I experience a lot of physical pain and something along the lines of depression. Sometimes I really need a seat in a public place (like the bus) but I'm afraid of asking for one. I think people will look down on me because I'm asking for a seat without being old, pregnant, or visibly ill. My mind has given me so much shit I've broken down in public and started crying in places where one really shouldn't do that (like in class).

I'm working on not feeling so embarrassed over that. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one that suffers like that, but I know that's not the case. I don't know why people work so hard to put up a mask and pretend everything is pink and right. Like a classmate I had. She was heartbroken because her father committed suicide, we all knew. Yet whenever someone asked 'how are you?', she replied 'I'm fine, and you?' out of courtesy, because that question has become a greeting rather than an actual question. If I'm not doing so good, I reply "I'm sad", and people give me weird looks. Don't ask if you don't actually want to know how I'm doing, dammit Dx

But something good has come out of making my pain visible by actually telling people that I'm in pain and sad. Nice classmates have offered to help me with some manual labor and drag my bag around (it has wheels, but even like that sometimes it's too painful for me). Lots of people have told me of their own problems, turns out lots of young people (twenty-something years old) experience chronic illnesses, mental illnesses and/or chronic pain, but we're all told to stop behaving like old people, because since we're young surely what we have isn't that bad. We felt like we were alone, but now, not so much. I hope over time, us youngsters with old bodies feel more comfortable asking for help.

 

[Hellis]

Hi. My name is Social anxiety, Depression and Extreme guilt complex. How do you do?

Many, many young people suffer from various mental issues. And well society does not look favorably on those that have issues. There is prejudice, fear and general ignorance surrounding so much that's related to our brain. It took me YEARS to seek help. It took me a anxiety attack so powerfull the adrenaline and stumache acid build up wrecked my digestive system.

Part of the problem I feel, is the Grin and Bear it mentality many of us have. Even as my mom prodded (She knew there was a history of depression on her side of the family.) I was constantly going "I am ok" or "I am fine." Becouse I couldn't phantom that my pain was worth a damn. It chalked it up to me being just not good enough, or weak or what else have you. I started to develop a guilt complex that stunned my psychiatrist. I was so afraid of being regarded as a failure, I went to extreme lenghts to hide any sign of weakness from those around me. So it ate me from within. I never considered anything WORTh it, as I was sure I would fail. I didn't see the positive in anything, but I smiled anyways.

Shit eats you up. It really does. And your just so afraid of letting others know, becouse you know they will look at you differently.

 

[Sir Salty]

Hi. My name is Social anxiety, Depression and Extreme GUilt complex. How do you do. Many, many young people suffer from varius mental issues. ANd well, society does not look favorably on those that have issues. There is prejudice, fear and general ignorance surrounding so much that's related to our brain. It took me YEARS to seek help. It took me a anxiety attack so powerfull the adrenaline and stumache acid build up wrecked my digestive system.

Part of the problem I feel, is the Grin and Bear it mentality many of us have. Even as my mom prodded (She knew there was a history of depression on her side of the family.) I was constantly going "I am ok" or "I am fine." Becouse I couldn't phantom that my pain was worth a damn. It chalked it up to me being just not good enough, or weak or what else have you. I started to develop a guilt complex that stunned my psychiatrist. I was so afraid of being regarded as a failure, I went to extreme lenghts to hide any sign of weakness from those around me. So it ate me from within. I never considered anything WORTh it, as I was sure I would fail. I didn't see the positive in anything, but I smiled anyways.

Shit eats you up. It really does. And your just so afraid of letting others know, becouse you know they will look at you differently.

You know I am very much like this. From a very young age I was told I was not good enough. Anything and everything I do was never enough for others. And therefore with this condition of mine as well....I'll never be able to prove that I was good enough in the first place.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

if you saw a man with a cane and a limp, would you tell he wasn't trying hard enough to run?

Funny thing, I have to walk with a cane and you wouldn't believe how many people tell me that I'm too young, I'll grow out of it, I'm showing off, I don't actually need it, or treat me like I'm lying about the damn thing. But that's getting off topic.

What are your takes on invisible disorders, like autism or chronic pain syndrome or even depression, etc? How do you think we change the views of other people? Do you want the views of invisible disorders to change? Why or why not?

I have severe PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Loud noises, people waving in my face or looking like they might hit me, swinging at me, hitting me in any way, slamming doors, arguing, etc. The list goes on. I always get these statements:

'Oh I've had the same damn thing. With a little work, you can get over it. You just have to try harder. I did, just stop reacting and you'll be fine.'

'Knock it off, I'm not even going to hit you, you know that! You are overreacting to everything.'

'Well, I'm not going to tip toe around you just because you are jumpy. Get over yourself.'

'Do you even know what that disorder is? That's not how it works. I know, I've studied it.'

'*tisks and rolls eyes* Alright, we get it. You are in a mood. We'll come back later.'

'You know, you are being really selfish. We all have problems, we just learned not to rub them in people's faces.'

'Please, only soldiers get that. You are not a soldier, you are using up resources other need.'

I've heard all of those coming from strangers, but mainly they came from people close to me that don't seem to grasp the concept of what mental illness is. I've also had people going out of their way to trigger me (after I told them that something makes me anxious that they are doing), slamming doors, sneaking up behind me and grabbing me, waving their arms in my fucking face, hitting my back whenever they get the chance.

And when confronted, they just tell me that they were trying to help me get over my issues.

Truth is, we can't change the mind of an idiot. They are hell bent on remaining ignorant, it sucks ass that people with 'hidden illnesses' (someone suffering from one knows that they are far from hidden with them) have to deal with shit like this.

When I face off with assholes (even ones that are close to me), I just pick my shite up and do whatever I can to get out of there.

 

[Sir Salty]

Truth is, we can't change the mind of an idiot. They are hell bent on remaining ignorant, it sucks ass that people with 'hidden illnesses' (someone suffering from one knows that they are far from hidden with them) have to deal with shit like this.

When I face off with assholes (even ones that are close to me), I just pick my shite up and do whatever I can to get out of there.

I am sorry you have to deal with that. That must be very hard for you and I wish there was something more I could to help you.

My family is a bit unsupportive in that sense too. My mom's boyfriend had the audacity to question my manhood because I don't have a job, because I am living with my mother. And you want to know the fucked up thing about my mother?

My mother has the ironic job of being a host home provider. She provides her home for strangers who have mental disorders as well, all though the very low functioning type. Well anyway, when she kicked me out about a month ago. She was kicking me out so she could use her room for a client.

The irony comes in the stories she tells me about, So and So and his family not want to taking care of him and not wanting to house him in their home. But then the irony is she's doing the same thing to her own mentally ill child. She's kicking me out and not wanting to raise me.

It's weird to be in a constant state of everyone wanting to treat me like a child and belittle me. And yet, no one wants to take care of me like a child. And I am not asking to be taken care of, btw.

The point is their quick to belittle me and treat me like I am five. But then they kick me out of the house, I am homeless because she won't house me in her home. I am told to take adult responsibility, but expected to also sit back and take it like a child and be humble.

 

[Hellis]

The point is their quick to belittle me and treat me like I am five. But then they kick me out of the house, I am homeless because she won't house me in her home. I am told to take adult responsibility, but expected to also sit back and take it like a child and be humble.

Holy shit that is terrible to hear man.

 

[Sir Salty]

Holy shit that is terrible to hear man.

My life is a mess. I am hanging on a thread most of the time. The reason why I am online so much and RP so much I guess is to escape. Because to be fair my hobbies are the only thing keeping me from seeing any purpose in my life. And it's hard to talk about to anyone because they are dismissive. As we spoke about earlier.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

My mother has the ironic job of being a host home provider. She provides her home for strangers who have mental disorders as well, all though the very low functioning type. Well anyway, when she kicked me out about a month ago. She was kicking me out so she could use her room for a client.

You would be surprised with how many people say they speak for those who can't or need help but do more damage than help. Look at Autism Speaks, they have openly made autism to be something bad. They talk about a cure for something that doesn't need curing.

People have this idea that mental illnesses/disorders/different ways the brain works has to be exactly how they themselves imagine it, and anything else is automatically bad.

What your family is doing to you is wrong, I wish there was more that I can do to help. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You certainly are worth a lot more.

 

[Sir Salty]

What your family is doing to you is wrong, I wish there was more that I can do to help. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You certainly are worth a lot more.

To be honest. I been treated like shit for my whole life. Here's some delving into my history. For the last 3 years I been hopping from place to place couch surfing. I have been majoringly homeless and majorily taken advantage of:

-In 2013 I moved back in with my mother because of circumstances with my mental health

-My mother helped me acquire a service dog and he was suppose to be trained by me. Due to arguments about the way the dog was being trained, despite it being my responsibility. She kicked me out and I ended moving in with a couple. This couple had two children.

-Meanwhile, I moved somewhere an hour away from my work, I told my work this, I asked for a transfer, I told them I don't have reliable transportation to make it, and I told them I wouldn't be able to make shifts that I am not scheduled for

-Well this couple, on top of paying rent, I was paying for groceries, their dinner, was babysitting their kids, and I was left with nothing. When I had no job and was running out of money, they kicked me out

-So I had to move back in with my mother six months later. While my job was being vindictive because I missed some days of work, after telling them over and over again and asking again for a transfer and my manager directly telling me no.

-My mother gave me another six months to move out and rushed me moving out in June of 2014. Where I got an apartment with some flatmates. Who had jobs and knew I was struggling in trying to find one

-I lived in this apartment from June 2014 to February 2015, when I was told that we were being evicted because my flatmates were not paying the rent.

-I moved in with another coworker and agreement was to pay her in food stamps and baby sit her kids. The only problem was she'd live me with her kids days on end. And supposedly a friend died and she left me with her kids for a whole 2 fucking weeks. I became a pseudo parent. When she finally came back, she told me she was moving to Denver. I only lived with her for a month.

-In March 2015 to November 2015. I moved in with another coworker. Who I paid in groceries and chores to stay in her house. Out of all the people she was the most supportive and kind. But they told me I had 2 months to leave in October. So I managed to scrounge up a job, and find a place to rent

-I only managed to keep that place to rent for a month because my job screwed me over because they didn't give me my paycheck and my roommate told me I had to either pay or go.

-In January of 2016 I moved in with my mother, told her I needed my SSI to go through and my foodstamps. I am still waiting on my Foodstamps. She gave me the whole of February. And I asked for an extension because my paperwork wasn't in yet. She gave me an extension and kicked me out on March 16th of 2016. Now I am living with a former flatmate in her house with her husband, until my paperwork goes through.

But then there is always the fear of when they have had enough of me and when they will kick me out. I just want a stable home. I just want stable finances and live. Because I feel hollow. And I feel dead. I feel unwanted. I feel like I am not worth anything because that's what society dictates.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

But then there is always the fear of when they have had enough of me and when they will kick me out. I just want a stable home. I just want stable finances and live. Because I feel hollow. And I feel dead. I feel unwanted. I feel like I am not worth anything because that's what society dictates.

You've had a really rough time. But you need to know that just because society tells you that you aren't worth anything, doesn't make it true. *hugs* I wish there was more that I can say to make what you feel easier, but all I can do is tell you that you've got all my support (for what it's worth). I know that that statement isn't really all that helpful, but you are wanted, you are worth so much more.

 

[Sir Salty]

You've had a really rough time. But you need to know that just because society tells you that you aren't worth anything, doesn't make it true. *hugs* I wish there was more that I can say to make what you feel easier, but all I can do is tell you that you've got all my support (for what it's worth). I know that that statement isn't really all that helpful, but you are wanted, you are worth so much more.

And this is why I have this discussion though about invisible illnesses and stuff because I know I am not the only one inside who must be hurting. I don't want people to hurt any more. I am working on a novel that takes an invisible disorder and makes them loud. So I gave him a really obnoxious friend that represents the disorder.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

And this is why I have this discussion though about invisible illnesses and stuff because I know I am not the only one inside who must be hurting. I don't want people to hurt any more. I am working on a novel that takes an invisible disorder and makes them loud. So I gave him a really obnoxious friend that represents the disorder.

That's pretty badass! I'd love to read it someday

 

[Sir Salty]

That's pretty badass! I'd love to read it someday

His name is Austin [get it Autism] and it really is using the toxic friendship to show how the disorder disrupts daily lives. He also has some other friends Dennis [Depression], etc. Who aren't very helpful either. The message isn't really about overcoming it or letting it go. But simply understanding the nature of it. Because in truth most of these disorders you cannot just walk away. You can lessen the amount of damage, but.......

 

[LogicfromLogic]

His name is Austin [get it Autism] and it really is using the toxic friendship to show how the disorder disrupts daily lives. He also has some other friends Dennis [Depression], etc. Who aren't very helpful either. The message isn't really about overcoming it or letting it go. But simply understanding the nature of it. Because in truth most of these disorders you cannot just walk away. You can lessen the amount of damage, but.......

So true. You can't walk away or lessen the struggle with them with a society like ours, but we can stand together.