LEARN SHIT, DAMMIT.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Hydronine, Feb 18, 2013.

  1. [video=youtube;Z-BbpaNXbxg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-BbpaNXbxg[/video]

    [video=youtube;0aSCPmabRpM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aSCPmabRpM[/video]

    <.<
     
  2. This guy must be a Morgan Freeman impressionist
     
  3. That guy is awesome.

    It's a rainbow. Of ugly.
     
  4. Old information is old.
     
  5. I googled the live tennis porn.
     
  6. Presented in a new fashion
     
  7. Learn shit and stop being a dirty liar about thread topics. >:[
     
  8. KITTI IS A SCATOLOGIST!
     
  9. No, I'm just a pedantic bitch. Stop misappropriating titles. >:[
     
  10. SCATOLOGIST ALERT! SCATOLOGIST ALERT!
     
  11. After an animal has digested eaten material, the remains of that material are expelled from its body as waste. Though it is lower in energy than the food it came from, feces may still contain a large amount of energy, often 50% of that of the original food.[3] This means that of all food eaten, a significant amount of energy remains for the decomposers of ecosystems. Many organisms feed on feces, from bacteria to fungi to insects such as dung beetles, which can sense odors from long distances.[4] Some may specialize in feces, while others may eat other foods as well. Feces serve not only as a basic food, but also a supplement to the usual diet of some animals. This is known as coprophagia, and occurs in various animal species such as young elephants eating their mother's feces to gain essential gut flora, or by other animals such as dogs, rabbits, and monkeys.

    Feces and urine, which reflect ultraviolet light, are important to raptors such as kestrels, which are able to locate their prey by their middens and territorial markers.[5]

    Seeds may also be found in feces. Animals that eat fruit are known as frugivores. The advantage for a plant in having fruit is that animals will eat the fruit and unknowingly disperse the seed in doing so. This mode of seed dispersal is highly successful, as seeds dispersed around the base of a plant are unlikely to succeed and are often subject to heavy predation. Provided the seed can withstand the pathway through the digestive system, it is not only likely to be far away from the parent plant, but is even provided with its own fertilizer.

    Organisms which subsist on dead organic matter or detritus are known as detritivores, and play an important role in ecosystems by recycling organic matter back into a simpler form which plants and other autotrophs may once again absorb. This cycling of matter is known as the biogeochemical cycle. To maintain nutrients in soil it is therefore important that feces return to the area from which they came, which is not always the case in human society where food may be transported from rural areas to urban populations and then feces disposed of into a river or sea.

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    In humans, defecation may occur (depending on the individual and the circumstances) from once every two or three days to several times a day. Extensive hardening of the feces may cause prolonged interruption in the routine and is called constipation.

    Human fecal matter varies significantly in appearance, depending on diet and health. Normally it is semisolid, with a mucus coating. Its brown coloration comes from a combination of bile and bilirubin, which comes from dead red blood cells.

    In newborn babies, fecal matter is initially yellow/green after the meconium. This coloration comes from the presence of bile alone. In time, as the body starts expelling bilirubin from dead red blood cells, it acquires its familiar brown appearance, unless the baby is breast feeding, in which case it remains soft, pale yellowish, and not completely malodorous until the baby begins to eat significant amounts of other food.

    Throughout the life of an ordinary human, one may experience many types of feces. A "green" stool is from rapid transit of feces through the intestines (or the consumption of certain blue or green food dyes in quantity), and "clay-like" appearance to the feces is the result of a lack of bilirubin.

    Bile overload is very rare, and not a health threat. Problems as simple as serious diarrhea can cause blood in one's stool. Black stools caused by blood usually indicate a problem in the intestines (the black is digested blood), whereas red streaks of blood in stool are usually caused by bleeding in the rectum or anus.

    Food may sometimes make an appearance in the feces. Common undigested foods found in human feces are seeds, nuts, corn and beans, mainly because of their high dietary fiber content. Beets may turn feces different hues of red. Artificial food coloring in some processed foods such as highly colorful packaged breakfast cereals can also cause unusual feces coloring if eaten in sufficient quantities.

    Laboratory examination of feces, usually termed as stool examination or stool test, is done for the sake of diagnosis, for example, to detect presence of parasites such as pinworms and/or their eggs (ova) or to detect disease spreading bacteria.

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    Ok, so I learned 'shit.'
     
  12. You. I like that shit. Keep it coming.
     
  13. The word faeces is the plural of the Latin word fæx meaning "dregs". There is no singular form in the English language, making it a plurale tantum.

    There are many colloquial terms for feces, of which some are considered profanity (such as shit) while others (such as poo, poop, number two, deuce, doodoo, dookie and doody) are not. Terms such as dung, scat, spoor and droppings are normally used to refer to animal feces.

    Stool is a common term normally used in reference to human feces. For example, in medicine to diagnose the presence or absence of a medical condition, a stool sample is sometimes requested for testing purposes.[2] The term "stool" can also be used for that of non-human species.


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    The distinctive odor of feces is due to bacterial action. Gut flora produce compounds such as indole, skatole, and thiols (sulfur-containing compounds), as well as the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that are responsible for the odor of flatulence. Consumption of foods with spices may result in the spices being undigested and adding to the odor of feces. The perceived bad odor of feces has been hypothesized to be a deterrent for humans, as consuming or touching it may result in sickness or infection.Of course, human perception of the odor is a subjective matter; an animal that eats feces may be attracted to its odor.
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    Human feces may be used as fertilizer (See also: Humanure) in the form of biosolids (treated sewage sludge). The feces of animals are often used as fertilizer; see manure and guano. Some animal feces, especially those of camel, bison and cattle, is used as fuel when dried out.Animal dung, besides being used as fuel, is occasionally used as a cement to make adobe mudbrick huts or even in throwing sports such as cow pat throwing or camel dung throwing contests.[9] Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈlu.aʔ]), or Civet coffee, is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus).

    See also Fewmets for the use of feces in venery, or Hunting in the Middle Ages, and Kumalak for the use of feces in fortune-telling in Central Asia.


    Dog feces were used in the tanning process of leather during the Victorian era. Collected dog feces were mixed with water to form a substance known as "bate". Enzymes in the dog feces helped to relax the fibrous structure of the hide before the final stages of tanning.

    Included:

    http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u66/TrinityDemonia/BearAppleShit_zps521f87b6.jpg

    Fresh bear shit showing a diet of apples.

    And:

    http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u66/TrinityDemonia/MixedplasticbearShit_zpsb4ea1318.jpg

    Bear shit showing a consumption of bin bags in garbage.
     
  14. I have studied the human subspecies known as the "chav" for many years now. While I have not been able to gather much comprehensive information, I have been able to note its basic habits and functions. Remember, however, that this is purely on the male chav - I have not been able to get into much contact with female chavs, as I have not been able to blend in enough to study them. I have only ever observed male ones from a distance - these are dangerous creatures, capable of lowering your IQ by several points per second, with their speech alone.

    The chav appears to be able to reside in almost any environment, able to adapt its surroundings as it sees fit. This usually involves leaving various pieces of rubbish strewn across the floor, with little or no motivation to pick it up - unless, of course, the police are near, in which case the needles and burnt paper are swiftly stowed. Chav habitats can also be recognised by the smell of cheap booze, low-end cigarettes, drugs of differing types, and general uncleanliness. Of course, this is the garden variety chav I speak of - some have been able to retain some semblance of a normal nest, with somewhat tidy rooms and just-about-bearable smells. This kind of occurrence is far more common than one would think, though they are still greatly dwarfed in number by the more common type.

    A typical chav will take on a humanoid appearance, but with some noticeable changes in how it walks, how it stands - its posture and actions in general, really. Chavs have been known to swagger along with their hands in their pockets, usually hunched forwards, sometimes standing straight - to an extent. However, most notably, most chavs will sway from side to side, in a manner similar to a metronome. The purpose of this is still unclear, but scholars reason that it may be an attempt to display what has been referred to as 'swag.'
    Most chavs will wear hoodies, usually with the hood up - some will refuse to shed their coat for summer, persisting even when the temperature reaches sweltering heights. There are cases that have been recorded, in which hats are worn instead of the hood - usually a beanie or a baseball cap, tilted forward. There are even cases of the hat being worn under the hood, though this is uncommon, even among chavs. Typical chav leg coverings consist of a pair of jeans or tracksuit bottoms - while the tracksuit bottoms will always remain excessively baggy, the jeans can either be painfully tight, or excessively baggy. Whatever the legwear, it seems to be a trend among chavs to wear it so their knock-off designer underwear is showing, so that everyone can see how much of a swaggot they are.

    I will attempt to document behaviour of chavs further, at a later date. I will need time, and preparation - these are not easy creatures to analyse.
     
  15. Belli, I love you, keep going.

    Cuddle.... I don't know WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, you confuse me, but your randomness is appreciated.
     
  16. When do I get to dissect stuff?
     
  17. Year Two, Fluffy, year two.
    Teekay, he's talking about chavs. The rest of the joke as to why he is talking about this is implied.
     
  18. GTFO. I AM TRUE SCATOLOGIST. (open)
    [video=youtube;3cnQCk0u49w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cnQCk0u49w[/video]
     
  19. the entomologist is amused.
     
  20. [video=youtube;Q1zbgd6xpGQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1zbgd6xpGQ[/video]