Is Social Media Destroying Communication

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Sir Salty, May 24, 2016.

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  1. You know I noticed something strange recently. With all my friends on Facebook. They post their status and a location.

    Like one friend, writes

    At Courthouse, Let's Hope I win

    Then something weird happens here. Because when I talk to them in person, it's like "didn't you read my Facebook"

    Sure, but I'd like actual human communication.

    So, what's your thoughts? Is social media ruining communication by providing instant gratification?
  2. No. People with bad communication skills would exist regardless of social media.
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  3. I just feel really weird and stalkerish to like read people's lives on a website and then they assume it's just as good as real communication
  4. I think it's actually increased people's communication and ability to communicate - but it did it so quickly, we were not able to adapt "proper communication skills". o___o So all of these socially inept people are now able to communicate easily, but they don't actually know HOW to connect with people on a personal level still. We have a bazillion tools, but no education on people skills.
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  5. Thanks to social medias, I can do the following things:
    1. Keep contact with old online friends and learn 10 years after I've known them that they're no longer suicidal, have a family, and a job, and are happy.
    2. Talk and keep up to date with my favourite artists / writers / authors (mostly Twitter and Tumblr, Instagram for others)
    3. Let others know I'm still alive (I live 1000 KM from my family)
    4. Keep in touch with my family and friends from various locations, since I don't see them often, and I'm not the kind of person to ring someone for small chat.

    So yes, I have a bunch of social media, I'm not ashamed of it, but I also know how to entertain real-life communications. It all depends on how you use them!
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  6. I like the idea of social media. It's execution and impact leave something to be desired.

    Yes it's grand to keep in touch with everyone in one place. See how they're doing at a glance. That whole schtick. Love the vacation photos, baby is getting big, new renovation on the houde, etc.

    No, because it's devalued our face value. I shouldn't have to check a friend's posts to recap what they're doing without me. I don't want to back and forth in a chat box when we live minutes apart. People also live for those likes. It's not take a picture cause it's cool or looks nice, it's to get likes, a form of attention seeking?

    Maybe I'm a little peeved about it because not but an hour ago there was a girl trying to get my help for her teacher. Yet she refused to look up from her phone. Not supposed to have them on campus anyway so I took it. It was like pulling life support. She went blank and just stared without a word at me for 30 seconds before her brain caught up what she needed to be doing.

    I don't think kids should have them. Quite strongly oppose parents letting their kids loose on Facebook with no parental input.
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  7. [2]. Perfect and succinct. Stole the words right out of my mouth, damn you.
    What communication is real, exactly? I wear a social masquerade in public. Most things I say in public are things that allow me to meld into a social group peaceably, because the majority of my interests and hobbies are obscure and strange from the eyes of the average person. I certainly don't go running around to people, shaking their hands wildly, sweat pouring down my face as I yell "I PLAY VIDEO GAMES HAHA MEMES HAHA FERRETS I LOVE FERRETS FUCKIN' I ROLE PLAY AS A PRINCESS IN A STORY I WROTE IT'S CALLED RENALTA!1!" Instead I'm calm, composed. If it's an official event I wear business casual, and shave so I look like a human being and not a man who just played Overwatch for 24 hours.

    I am actually far more blunt and honest online than I am in the real world, because the real world carries with it consequences that can be quite severe in the long run if I'm not careful. I am more "real" online than I am offline, except around close friends and family, who always get to see me for what I am and how I'm feeling and how frail I can really be deep inside. Yet, I have people both online and offline I consider in that "trusted" category.

    Social Media is an echo chamber of human thoughts with less social restrictions and stigmas than they would face in the real world. Do you think the modern atheist or LGBT movements would be nearly as strong as they are now without it? Where anyone can go to the Google Machine and say "communities for X" and get hundreds of results in seconds?

    The only issue with the Internet (and Social Media by extension) that I can think of is Voluntary Balkanization. That is, you can have entire groups of deluded lunatics reinforce their insane fantasies of the real world via group think, such as the Flat Earth Society, or Stormfront. The very nature of creating secluded spaces and block buttons to get rid of trolls also allows people to reduce the total flow of opposing thoughts, views, and values that impact their daily lives, thus reinforcing what they believe, even if it's demonstrably wrong. This is, however, still preferable to a world where the town you are born in is the only thing you get to experience or be shown throughout your developing life, because that's how you spawn psychotic cults that think the entire world is inherently wrong. Cults like Jonestown, or brainwashed children who think Jesus would want them to murder people, or numerous other hatefilled psychotics.

    Social media brings us closer together. Unfortunately, it echoes inane stupidity on a massive scale that never fucking ends, but it's not like mass droves of human beings have ever demonstrated the greatest of human mental faculties. I'll take stupid Facebook Drama over dying in a coliseum, any day of the week.

    At the very least, Social Media lets those with obscure or rare traits find others like themselves so as to learn and grow and feel less isolated. If nothing else, it does that.
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  8. To this, I completely agree!

    Social media started being popular around Myspace in.. 2006-2007 dare I say? Then Facebook got around for everyone in 2008-ish. I was 16 when I joined FB, but it was nothing like today lol. I don't think kids should have Facebook. Things like Twitter though? I think it's fine.
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  9. My kids have least my two oldest do. I allowed them to have it under the condition that I have their passwords and I would be checking everything randomly to see what they're doing. They can't be friends with an adult outside of family, family friends, and people that I know, and they need to tell me how they know the person before I allow them to add anyone as a friend. They can post whatever they want as long as it's not disrespectful. It's not about kids having Facebook, it's about parents monitoring what goes on with it. We have family and friends that don't live near us. Facebook is one of the easiest ways for them to stay in touch. They're allowed to have Instagram, but they don't. They aren't allowed on Snapchat or KiK. My daughter does have Skype, which is monitored, but that's it.
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  10. Besides, being practical, if a child of sufficient age has any sort of private access to a computer or cell phone, they can secretly make a facebook account with little more than an e-mail account, which is even easier to get than facebook. Internet anonymity is a two edged sword, cuts both ways. The way you're doing it is far more responsible, that eases them into the world they'll live with for the rest of their lives, which will most likely include Facebook.
  11. I don't know how old your kids are, but as a child of a parent who snooped through my things, read my private thoughts that I naively wrote online, destroying the mere concept of privacy when I was a teenager, I would prefer to not have any social media in this case :P

    But it's a different world than the one I grew up in, so it's difficult to judge in this situation. I'm very paranoid about my privacy online VS real life lol.
  12. I feel like social media is a tool more than anything else.

    I can see via social media when friends have made accomplishments, when they've hit big milestones in their lives, when they've gotten married, had children, gotten promotions, graduated, etc. I can also see when they need help if they post about their troubles.

    It's a tool that gives us so much information, but it's up to the individual person to decide how to use that information. There have been times where I've reached out by a more personal means of communication (text, email, phone call, Skype, whatever) in response to something I read on facebook. In that way it allows me to be more connected, not less.

    We get updates on other people's lives on a daily basis through social media - for most typical things, a comment or a Like is enough recognition. But when something big happens, it's up to the individual to reach out - and that goes both ways. Facebook is a medium, a way to make reaching out easier, but it loses a lot of its value if people don't reach back.

    I guess then my answer to the question "Is social media destroying communication" is that it really depends on how you use it, and on how you expect others to use it.
  13. I had a Myspace before I graduated highschool (I graduated in '05). From my recollection Myspace was a pretty big thing before 2006.

    I know people who have facebooks for their six year olds, which I think is a bit ridiculous. I do think that young teens are fine to have a facebook as long as it is monitored like Nydanna mentioned. Also, you might feel differently if your parent was open with you about the possibility of reading your thoughts online. It might have changed what you wrote, but you wouldn't have felt like your privacy was violated.


    Personally, I use social media as a way to communicate with the people I don't really want to talk to either over the phone or in person. Family members that I may not be particularly close to, but don't want to exclude from my life. I have a huge family, and it just makes more sense to keep in contact via social media.

    Edit: The people I know with Facebooks for their young children do this to post milestones and etc without having to use their own pages. And the profiles are private, and generally they are very picky about who they allow added as friends.
    #13 Turtle of Doom, May 24, 2016
    Last edited: May 24, 2016
  14. Not really. Social Media can be a form of communication, with messaging, and news feed stuff. It is also a source of information that can be used to initiate a communication.
  15. There's a huge difference between snooping to get into your kid's business, and looking to make sure they're not talking to someone they shouldn't be, or they're not being harassed and not telling you. I don't go through and read every message they write, but I do look over who they're messaging. If it's not someone I'm familiar with, then yes, I will look over what is said to make sure there's not something I need to worry about. However, it's not on my kids' end. I know my kids well enough to know that they aren't interested in doing drugs, hooking up, or any of the things most teenagers try to do without their parents finding out. If there's a message from someone I don't know, it's usually initiated by someone else and typically it goes ignored. It's my job as their parent to make sure there's not some pervert on the other side of the screen trying to talk them into running away, or sending naked pictures. I don't apologize at all for it. Most of the time I don't even have to look through their stuff, they come to me when someone is harassing them.

    I've read and watched way too many news stories about parents being blindsided by what their kids are doing online not to take responsibility for it. When they're 18 they're free to talk to anyone they chose to, but I want them to be smart about it even then. I would rather them learn what to look out for by me pointing it out to them than simply telling them, because they're not going to listen. I can say someone is bad for them till I'm blue in the face, but if a 20+ year old is asking a 15 year old girl for naked pictures, that kind of speaks louder than anything I can say. I'm not doing it because I get some cheap thrill out of spying on my kids. I spent half of my childhood hiding notes from friends because my parents would take them to use against me. I don't go searching through their stuff because I'm looking for dirt, I'm just trying to make sure they're safe.
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  16. For sure.

    My teenager years are not that far behind, and I know I was not acting safely.
    I suppose it's a road I will walk once I get there :)

    But kudos for having an open and trusting relationship with your kids - that's awesome.
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  17. Social media enables communication, no doubt.

    But it gets mind numbing when many start recycling memes and sets of words used many times by others as a means of communication on social media.
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  18. I'd most likely be a true hermit who never spoke to people if it wasn't for social media. Like other people, it helps me keep in touch with old friends, see how they are doing once and a while, and well, see how my family is doing. My one cousin who is becoming very in touch with the family again does so mostly through social media with me because we live five hours apart and can't always make the family met ups. This way she gets to show me her kids and what they are doing, well she knows I get to see how she's doing with my likes. I'd never say "Didn't you see my status." I'd say "I saw this in your pictures" and then carry on to discuss that subject, get more of the details then what you get with a few words in the post or pictures.
  19. If anything it enhances it. But my mom and I do this thing where we look up things online then parrot it at each other when we talk later. Conversation starters, ahoy! I also don't use facebook so I have no fears about that stuff. xD
  20. I find it ridiculous how so many people really think that things like phones and text messaging and instant messaging and social media is "destroying communication". Like... all of these things exist to facilitate communication, which should be obvious just from their names alone. It's a different form of communication, yes, but it's still communication. And, as many here have already stated, they allow a lot of us to keep up with others in ways that wouldn't otherwise be possible without this kind of technology.

    I think the part that bugs me the most about all this is how so much of it is framed like "look at those kids glued to their cell phones!! don't they know how to talk without them??" and they treat it like some horrible thing when it's like... do you even know what any of them are doing with their phones at that very moment? Many of them could be talking to their friends, or their significant others, or maybe even their parents, having conversations that probably aren't too different from what they'd say to each other in person. But it doesn't matter what they're using their phones for, does it? Nope, they're using cell phones and the internet, therefore it's bad.

    Like, I get that the classroom isn't exactly the best place for a kid to be glued to their phone, but I don't see it as being very different from a kid chit-chatting with the person sitting next to them. I mean, ideally, you wouldn't have either of those things happening in a classroom -- but it bugs me that it's seen as so much worse when it happens with phones, when it's really just the same thing: kids talking to other people instead of doing their work and paying attention. The inclusion of a cell phone in this picture doesn't make it any worse than a problem that has always existed in classrooms.

    And, yeah, it's annoying when someone is using their phone while they're in a conversation with you, face-to-face, but, really, if the person they were talking to was also there, in-person, there's a decent chance you'd still be a third wheel, and/or their attention would be split between them and you. Which is annoying, even when it happens purely in a face-to-face context, but... again, I don't see why cell phones make that situation any worse than it already is.

    And, in both of these cases, the "problem" is that it's making it easier for people to communicate -- it's just that they're not communicating with you, or they're communicating when they should be paying attention to the teacher -- but the point remains that these devices are making it easier for people to communicate, which shouldn't be surprising.

    And I think the thing that bothers me the most is when someone points to a bunch of people standing in line for something and it's like "look! They're all on their phones! They get in line, and they get on their phones! They just can't survive without the things for two seconds!" and it's like... they're standing in line, presumably surrounded by people they don't know very well, and, if cell phones didn't exist, you know what those people would probably be doing? Nothing. They'd be standing there, being bored -- and it's not like boredom is the worst thing that could happen to someone, but, if you have a choice between doing nothing and being bored, or pulling out your phone and finding something to do? It's really not surprising that most people would choose the latter. And, yeah, I'm one of those people who'll stand in line looking down at my phone -- but I still have the decency to put it away once I need to talk to someone face-to-face. It's just that, if my alternative is doing nothing, there's no reason why I can't entertain myself... Like, if I had brought, say, a book, to keep myself busy when I've got nothing to do, no one would bat an eye. It's a simple fact that I have a cell phone that, for some reason, I'm seen as an awful social media addict just because I don't want to be bored. And here's the funniest part -- between a book and a cell phone, you know which one facilitates more communication? The phone. Because despite the awful connotations of texting people or browsing social media, the point remains that I'm actually engaging in a social activity when I use my phone for that sort of thing. Reading a book, however? The only "communication" happening there is between you and that author -- but I'd say it's too much of a one-way street to really count.
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