Inevitable War (Jalapeno x Shelby)

Avram was only half paying attention to whatever Lyanna was saying, kicking himself for throwing his anger at her. She was the last person who deserved such treatment. A sinking feeling of guilt took him over as well, added to the pain that sat firmly in chest. At least he was not as angry anymore, but for how much longer? He really was going as mad as his father was. No! I won't let that happen to me! How could he be so foolish as to accuse the Eburharts of treachery directly to Lyanna's face? He had as much right to do that as his mother or Mina did of accusing Myla. Surely word of that would spread as soon as she told her family, or even one of her handmaidens, what had happened. Their marriage was supposed to strengthen the alliance their families were forming and so far Avram was doing everything in his power to see that it failed. Only a fool would let this wound fester without sealing it up before the infection spread. But what was he supposed to say to her? That he did not really suspect her mother or father had something to do with the murder? He suspected them as much as he did anyone else.

Instead Avram elected to keep his mouth shut on the matter. He still could not bring himself to look at her again. It was likely that she was blind with tears by this point and he could not bare to look at her knowing that he had been the one to cause them. Her voice shook noticeably the few times she dared to speak, and those words sounded as if she had practiced them for this very moment, or something like it anyway. But Avram knew the real reason he did not want to look at her. She was not Myla. She was a young woman, albeit quite beautiful, who had no understanding of how to think past whatever duty she was taught growing up. She did not know the pain of loss as Myla did, or as Avram did now. As much as it pained Avram to think it, he knew Lyanna could do little for him in regards to sympathy. The most she could offer him was a comforting embrace and a kiss to make the pain go away. But neither of those could fix what had happened here tonight. They would not help her to understand his pain, so she would have no way of knowing what to say or do to keep his mind at peace.

There was no need to turn around to know that Lyanna was backing away from him. Avram probably would have done the same were he in her position. And two days she would be married to him despite what had occurred just now. "Please," he began, still refusing to look at her, "do not think less of me for what just happened. Nothing of the sort will ever happen again." Could he really promise that? What if one day he found that the rest of his family was gone as well? Would he lose his mind the way he just had? Would it suddenly put him over the edge of madness that consumed his father for years? It was not nice to think about any of that. Lyanna had shut the door behind her, leaving Avram alone once more. He could not blame her for wanting to get out of there as soon as she could. What a fool he was for letting her take the sour end of all of the emotions that consumed him, the rage that built in the span of less than an hour. Thinking about it made the hurt return once again, and the tears he thought had dried up came back harder than ever. Bending over the window, Avram watched as they fell to the distant ground below.



So Myla had been training to use the sword primarily as a means of appearing more powerful than she was. It was a brilliant idea, though now it was safe to say that she would need it for safety. "I am no Ser Gerold, my lady, but if you wish to continue your lessons after leaving Sarvayl I would be more than happy to help." He had taught many young boys the art of swordsmanship and she could be taught just as easily. The only thing that worried him was how the lessons would rub Elize. If she saw an older woman, especially one she would look up to, learning to fight then she would certainly want to learn as well. That was never the type of future he wanted to see her live for, not if he could help it. Ector would not be around forever, and when his time came she would need someone to take care of her. A woman who knew the sword was far less attractive to a man than a woman who knew how to sew. In Myla's case there was not much of a choice, and her mind was clearly made up already. But Elize did not have to follow that path. Yet what if she chose to? And what if she needed it one day?

But Ector kept his worries to himself for now. There would be plenty of time for that later. The important task at hand was finding out whether or not it was safe to leave tomorrow as they had planned. Odds were heavily favoring a longer wait. "Perhaps we should wait until after the wedding. Every guest will be departing then. No one will notice three... er, four... travelers leaving with the rest." Even then, Ector was not entirely comfortable with the idea of waiting more than one night. It was risky business having Myla stay here when there were people who wanted to see her dead at every corner. "But that is assuming we can ensure your safety. Guards outside your room will help, but we cannot expect you to stay there all day. Not when you have council meetings and sword lessons to attend." Fool, was he really worried about her appointments when her life could be in jeopardy? "If you do wish to stay until it is safe to leave without looking suspicious, then I will take the time to discover who it was that killed the king. In addition I will make sure I have a list of who in Sarvayl wants to see you dead. I already know of one that I dare not mention aloud. At least not in these halls."

Deciding that it was time to see that Elize was in bed, Ector bowed respectfully and tried to hid his worry. "We will speak again soon. I must see that Elize does not stay up too late." He bit the inside of his cheek, frowning at his thoughts for a moment. "Normally I would tell you that this is when you must go to the royal family and offer them your blessings for the king's passing. But seeing as how they must feel about you I will have to advise against it." With that he had nothing more to say and bowed once more. "Do not hesitate to find me if things should run sour." With that he reentered the hall. Lord Dremond was still entertaining himself with the serving girl, though now she seemed less willing to accept his advances. Elize was right where he left her. She watched him enter, and with a simple nod from him she understood that it was time to leave, saying a quick farewell to her friend. She was as dutiful a daughter as he could have asked for. How would he have the heart to tell her that they could not stay here for much longer?
 
She hated the thought of having to wait until after the wedding to leave, but what other choice did she really have? All Myla itched to do, now that the idea had passed around in her mind, was to leave this place. Yes, she knew that she would never be able to to return and that she would never be able to see Avram again, however she was now willing to make those sacrifices. Because why should she stay in a place where no one wanted her? Why should she continue to live with the torment she was subject to because people either hated her because of her name or they just wanted her dead because of her name, and maybe even for both reasons. The thoughts and ideas of her leaving this Kingdom and heading east were beginning to become more favorable to her. Hardly anyone, if anyone, would really know of who she was, and if anyone did surely they would not care like the people here do. She could start a new, she could be someone different. She could stop having to worry about things for once in her life, yet even she thought that was a laughable thought. Like she would ever be able to forget any of this. Like she would truly be able to live a normal life without feeling like she had to run from someone, even if she was safe.

But if they left now, and even if they made it to the east she knew that she would always feel watched. She would always wonder whether or not people would be sent after her, especially now because of the King's death. They would try to kill her and they would probably succeed. It was a sad fact, yet she couldn't really think anything but that.

Myla only really half listened to what Ser Ector had been saying, her mind so wrapped around in her thoughts. She thought she faintly heard him utter something about finding out who the killer was and who wanted to kill her in the castle and in the kingdom. He already knew of someone, but who specifically wanted her dead that he knew? Unfortunately, she felt as if there were a few that she could see in her mind that wanted her dead and that was not a well thought to have. She merely nodded her head to him after taking a breath, making it seem as if she had paid attention to him. "Well will stay here then, only for a little while longer. Just so that we do not look too suspicious and cause any more attention to be brought to us. I do not want to see anything happen to you, or even your daughter, just because of me." Would their lives already be in danger with them having such an association with her? Again she reminded herself that keeping Ser Ector's previous involvement and rank within the Viricof Leigon a secret was a must, but then what of Larcin? He was the son of Ser Gerold. Would he be in danger? Did she really care? She almost grimaced at her own thought. She was going to have to get over her reservations for the man if he would be traveling with them, protecting her along with Ser Ector. She was going to have to let him know that they would not be leaving in the morning, let him know that things had changed. She wondered if he knew of the King's death and if he blamed her as well. Was he suspicious?

Her eyes flicked over to the movement inside of the hall, listening to a little bout of laughter that belted out from someone. Oh, how no one would be joyous after hearing that their King was no longer living... Soon after she said her departures to Ser Ector, she didn't leave so suddenly. She watched as he meandered over to his daughter and watched their interactions. It made her think of her own father and how he used to be alive for her. Of how he used to be the only one left for her until he lost his life as well. His presence used to reassure her, used to make her think that everything would work out in some way. Did his daughter look up to him that way, did she think the same way because her mother was no longer living and he was all she had? None of this seemed to be fair... But, then again, death wasn't fair. She missed her father dearly in that moment. She missed her family and she wished that they were back.

Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she bit her lip and turned before she started walking down the hall, her heart pounding in her chest as she looked this way and that. Did she look suspicious right now? Were her shoulders not high enough, did she not look as confident as she should? Were the sweating of her palms evident to anyone else? She tried to push those feelings away, yet it was difficult. She almost wished that Ser Gerold hadn't informed her of the news. Now she could not even act surprised if she were to be asked about it, and that was a worrying thought. But as much as things worried her, it angered her as well. To think that things had been so turned around and so changed because of this man's death. To think that she may die over this because they thought she really wanted revenge!

She would try and find Larcin later; right now she wanted to get back to the chambers she had been assigned for a while, just so that she could get her mind back together without having to worry about whether or not eyes were watching her. Yet as she walked, her eyes searching this way and that, watching to see if anyone was near her, her thoughts suddenly turned to Avram. Surely he knew his father was dead now; how was he taking the news? Was he okay, was he upset? She suddenly found the urge to want to go comfort him, almost like she had back when they were in the council rooms talking with one another, however she knew that that could never happen. She could not go to his chambers to check on him, should he even be there to start. After all, wouldn't he be with his family, mourning over their loss? Did he find her suspicious of any of this? She stopped with her steps for only a second as that thought crossed her mind. Surely he didn't believe that, surely he didn't think something like that. He just had to know that it hadn't been her. She wanted to tell him that she understood the pain that he was going through, because she had lost her entire family and it had not been easy. She found the sudden urge to be the one to be there for him, to help him through this despite how she had no one there for her after her father's death. But she couldn't do it, she knew she couldn't. It would be too dangerous, and she would not risk her life in that way.

Except, if that was the case, and if she was so afraid, then why were her legs suddenly carrying her in a different direction? Why was she suddenly climbing up stairs, only stopping to look and see if anyone was in the area. No one. Nothing. Were people so foolish as to not roam the halls after hearing of the death of the King? But, then again, most people were probably unaware. Either that or most of them were scurrying around, trying to figure out what to do. Or, perhaps, the guards that roamed and protected this castle weren't good enough. After all, they let someone slip into the King's chambers to poison him. She remembered going this way when that squire had brought her down these walls when she had still gone as Ingrede, and when he said that he would be bringing her to the kitchen but instead brought her to Avram's chambers. Still there were no people there, and the halls were growing dark with night approaching and nearly there.

And as she approached his doors, there were no guards standing front. She almost laughed at the thought. Her heart beat quickly in her chest and her steps quickened. What was she going? Why was she doing this? Maybe because she felt, now, that she had nothing to lose. Because, she figured, that if they wanted her dead then they would kill her and she would be able to do nothing against it. She almost felt as if she already was dead, because while she could play with the thought that she could ever escape, she almost found that nearly impossible. So why not just see him one more time, when he was not wed, because if they stayed until after the wedding she knew that it would hurt to see him marrying that other woman. She took a breath and raised her hand as she stood in front of his door, taking one last look around her, before she knocked on the door. If he would send her away, then she would leave, because she knew that she may be making a mistake because not only would she be risking her own self, but she was risking his as well. But, right now, she didn't care. It was a sudden lapse of judgement, and even she knew that. But if someone would see her, then she would blame it completely on herself.
 
As Elize approached him, Ector noticed the boy that was sitting near the two girls staring in their direction. He looked no older than nine years, but Ector still felt the overprotective father in him wanting to jump out. "Elize, who is that boy that keeps staring at you?" he asked as the girl meandered up to him, all but skipping with delight. She gave him a toothy grin before replying with, "That's Owin. He says he is related to Lady Lyanna, but I don't believe him." But her smile did not fade noticeably at the mention of him. Gods, she was not even ten in years and he was already having to worry about boys running after his daughter. Ector lifted an eye at the lad, raising an eyebrow with intrigue. "Well if he continues to stare at you like that I can't promise I won't be having a few words with him." She seemed to frown at that, but she did not throw a tantrum as most other girls her age might have done. Instead she spoke calmly, though her tone was noticeably less joyful than before. "He won't hurt me. He's nice and he gave me a lily just before supper. But he didn't say anything. I don't think he wanted to in front of Paline." He could only assume that Paline was the girl Elize had been talking to just now, the one who was currently eyeing Owin with a cold gaze.

She was making friends, and that was going to make this even harder. Getting down on one knee, Ector could not help but look at his daughter with sorrow even though he had not yet uttered a word of what he meant to tell her. "Elize, I should tell you that I will not be working for Lord Dremond anymore." Her face seemed to brighten up a little, though that was because she had yet to hear the rest of the story. "I don't like him," she chipped in, not seeming to care that the man was still in the hall. Ector almost smirked at that. "Instead I will be working for someone much nicer. I think you will like her. But that means..." he hesitated. Did he really have to tell her now? Could he not just tell her when they left? No, he had promised her years ago that he would never keep any secrets from her. She deserved better than that. "Elize, we may have to leave here soon. Probably within the next few days. I thought we were done traveling too, but something unexpected has happened. I'm sorry." She seemed not to fully understand at first, but as he went on her face grew a little more somber. She would not speak against him though. And she did not cry as he expected. "We have always traveled. I'm used to it." He stroked her hair tenderly and almost thought he would cry himself. "You will have time to say goodbye to your friends before we leave. I promise that much." Her face seemed to contort with confusion at that and she embraced him. "You're not sad, are you?" she asked him inquisitively. He half chuckled at her concern and lifted her up with little effort. "Come. It's past time for you to be in bed."



Avram did not even notice the servants who walked in to replace the wine until they had already gone. He glanced down at the silver tray holding a single goblet and a small pitcher that still had steam rising from it. He really had been drinking too much recently and contemplated tossing the entire thing out of the window. Instead he filled the goblet and took a small sip. It was still piping hot, but he took another sip anyway, larger than the first one. It would dull his senses at least a little bit and hopefully do something that would ease the tight knot in his chest. Before he had been angry, and after his explosion in front of Lyanna he felt guilty and ashamed. Now he was only felt fear. Fear of what was to come now that he was king. Fear of one day looking out this window and seeing the entire city burning. Fear of watching his entire family die right before him. Fear that he would be remembered as a fool king who could not have hoped to save anyone. Those were unpleasant thoughts, and he immediately tried to drown them with more wine, accidentally burning the roof of his mouth in the process. "At this rate I might accidentally kill myself before any of that even happens," he muttered half-humorously.

Not long after the wine was replaced, Belin showed up at his door. If he was worried about the prince's mood... or rather the king's mood..., he did not show it. His expression was staunch and emotionless, the way it always was when he was expecting orders of some sort. The squire also made no mention of the day's tragedy. Whether that was because he knew of Avram's previous explosion or because he simply did not want to bring up an unpleasant subject was a mystery. "My lord, we really should have guards posted at your door." Belin did not say why, but Avram knew the reason already. Someone had killed his father, and that meant the same individual could easily be targeting him. But he did not acknowledge the squire's words. Instead he refilled his goblet and continued to study the numerous towers of Sarvayl that were still visible in the night. The lights had slowly flickered out during the time he watched, but there still enough to make out the larger buildings. "Get some rest, Belin. It's been a long day and I would have you at full strength tomorrow for everyone's arrival." Avram did not turn around, though he knew Belin probably bowed before he heard the door shutting quietly and footsteps fading down the corridor. The squire always bowed before he left Avram's presence.

Not long after Belin left Avram heard another knock on the door. "Enter if you must," he mumbled before finishing off his second helping of the mulled wine. Is no one going to give me any peace? My father is dead and- His thoughts stopped dead in their tracks when he turned to see who had entered. He was already in the process of filling his goblet once more when Myla Auvery entered his chambers. If the queen or even Mina saw this they would insist she be taken to the dungeons this very moment and have six guards surround Avram's door every night form henceforth. She was dressed in the same gown she was wearing at the council meeting. It suited her nicely, and the pale moonlight seemed to accentuate the color pattern ever more. She was not as slim as Lyanna, and she was almost of a height with Avram. Women from the north were much sturdier than women from the capital, or anywhere in the southern regions for that matter. As she walked his heart seemed to stop for a moment. He was so mesmerized by her presence that the wine nearly overflowed from the goblet. Quickly setting down the pitcher he lifted the drink to his lips.

"It is dangerous for you to be here," he said as he returned to the window. But he did not tell her to leave. In fact he found himself wanting her to stay. Why was he being so foolish? What if she really had been the one to kill his father? And what if she was here to kill him now? Of course if that was true, telling her to leave would not do him any good. Whatever the wine had done for his knotted chest earlier, it seemed to all come back as soon as Myla entered. Avram wondered what might have happened if she arrived as Lyanna was leaving. What would he have done? He did not want to think about that anymore than he wanted to think about what might happen if Maryn Lodar walked in that very moment. It was good that Myla would be leaving soon. It was good for both of them. He could not bare it if she was murdered under his own roof, and the more she was around him the more Avram wished that his mother and Lord Jensen had never shared that intimate moment, if that truly was what happened. "I half expected for you to be out of the city by now after what has happened today."
 
When she heard his muffled voice from the other side of the door, Myla couldn't help but gulp, deciding in her mind with whether or not she should really go in there. Should she really risk herself for this? And what was she going to do, what was she going to say anyway? This had been a mistake, a quick decision that, more than likely, Ser Ector would not have a approved of if he ever heard about it. Then he just wouldn't have to know, she told herself. But what if she stood in that room and someone was to come in here as well? She would not be able to run, there would hardly be an excuse to make, and she was more than positive that they would probably kill her if she were here. But what about when she would leave? What if someone would be walking down the hall when she would decide to leave? Then what?

She grit her teeth in thought, but, nevertheless, she opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her as she looked at the man that stood by the window. No longer was he the Prince, but now he was the King yet in her eyes he seemed no different than what she thought of him to be earlier in that council chamber. How much harder would his position become, and would he be able to handle it? She wanted to say that he'd be able to, but with the way things had been going in the kingdom lately, she was beginning to have a hard time believing that. But, pushing that thought aside with the shake of her head, she bit her lip as she furrowed her brows. Yes, she knew he was right; it was dangerous for her to be here, but she already was and she wished to speak her words. But what words? She had come here without so much as a plan... At his last words a bitter laugh came from her lips as she looked down at the ground. "I doubt if I would have been allowed to leave so quickly after what has happened. Or, rather, I'm sure that there would have been a man hunt to go and find me. After all, am I not a prime suspect with the death of your father?" There was a lull in the short conversation, her eyes going over to the bottle of wine he had as well as the goblet he held in his hands. No doubt he would drink that to its entirety tonight, not that she could blame him for the act too much. After all, she could only remember once when she had let herself get too inebriated for her own good. Well, actually, she hardly remembered that night. It had been years after her father's death, and on that year the anniversary of the day had come and she wanted to grieve for once in her life. She wanted to grieve for her entire family, and despite her mother's words resounding in her mind to tell her to not do this and just leave the tavern she had found herself in and keep an air of a lady around her she hadn't listened. She was upset and she wanted the pain to go away, if only for that one night. Was that what Avram was trying to do?

"I didn't do it," she finally said, blurted out more rather. Her eyes were wide as she took a breath, her eyes leaving from his goblet to look at his back. She did not dare make those steps towards him to shorten their distance, so she stood in her place. "I was not the one to poison your father, and I do hope that you believe that. I doubt if many other people will, but... I just wanted to tell you this directly, rather than send these words off with someone else, or in just a short mention in the little time that we would have in the council chambers." She questioned the desperation that sat in her voice, the desperation for him to actually believe her. She wanted him to know that. She wanted him to believe her and not question it like most were because she was afraid of what he may think of her if he believed it, or what he may do to her. What if he wanted rid of her now because he believed it? "And my plans of leaving have changed. I assume that Larcin had informed you of my decision before, but... Now we will wait. Until we have a better opportunity when I will, hopefully, not have as much suspicion on me."

And this was all she wanted to tell him, right? That it wasn't her and that her plans had changed? But had it even been smart to mention that to him? True, he had known previously that she had been leaving before, but now things were different, yet it made her wonder if it would change his opinion on the matter. She wasn't running because of the King's death. She was leaving because she thought that it would be best and because she had no other options. "I should give you my blessing for your loss, however I almost feel as if it would be ironic and a near mockery to say such a thing given our families history." She sighed and turned her back to face him, her hand placed against the door handle as she readied herself to leave. She couldn't stay longer, and she knew the both of them realized that. "However I am sorry for the pain I know you must be in now. I only know too well how badly it hurts to have a family member pass." She spoke those words softly, meaning them with so much more than she had thought. But she did mean it. She did know what it was like and she did not wish that pain on anyone. It wasn't something she wanted to ever experience again, though, in a sick sort of way, she was almost happy that her family had passed on long ago; at least now she would not have to feel that pain again for when they would die, though the dullness of that sadness for their deaths would never disappear, no matter how dull it was to her now. "Do take care of yourself, Avram, okay?"
 
Avram forced the rest of the wine in his goblet down, ignoring the burning sensation that filled his mouth. He was far too on edge now that Myla was in his chambers, and he desperately needed the dulling sense to calm himself. He did not pay much attention to her reason for still being here. But he was surprised to hear what came out of her mouth next. Was she really trying to convince him that she was not the murderer? Even though he had half believed the rumor himself, Avram was not about to accuse her of anything. She was not fool enough to do something so rash. And if she had actually intended to kill him she would have done it by now. He was not in any danger from her, not with the way she stood now. "You did not come here to clear your name," he said bluntly. She had to know that he would never put the blame on her without hard evidence, and even then Avram could not confirm that he would actually sentence her to death. Was he so foolish that he would let her go free even if she was the one behind it? That was a useless question. Myla murdered no one, and he would not be convinced otherwise. And yet he accused his own fiance of treachery directly to her face. He really was a mess.

After refilling his wine for the third time, Avram could already feel his senses growing dull, and the tightness in his chest began to subside again. He contemplated putting the goblet down but elected against it, taking another sip. It was beginning to cool now. Myla knew his pain better than anyone could, and she seemed to be saying as much. He could not say the same for her. She had lost her entire family, not just her father. On top of that, she had spent a good portion of her life living on the run and working in places that were well below what her birthright would have called for. Could he have done that without breaking down? Regardless, she understood what it meant to lose someone so influential to her life. It was almost laughable that neither of them would be in this position had some ridiculous incident not occurred all those years ago. Both of their fathers would still be living. The king might never have gone mad with paranoia. The kingdom would still be whole without the threat of war looming. Avram would have had more time to prepare for being king. The Eburharts would never have been involved. And he would be marrying Myla in two days, not Lyanna. Thinking about what could have been caused that pain to return, and Avram quickly took another drink. Why would it not leave permanently?

The tone in Myla's voice sounded as if she was preparing to leave him. If he was thinking clearly he would have said nothing to stop her from doing just that. Her being here at all was risky in itself, but the longer she stayed the more dangerous it would become. And yet he could not let her go. She knew his pain. She could help him overcome his grief. And yet she was about to walk away again. The last time he watched her leave the castle she did not return until she was a woman grown, and one who was no longer a noble. He could only imagine what might happen if he waited another decade for her to come back. Of course, if she valued her life then she would not return for any reason. That did not ease his thoughts though. He wanted her to stay, and yet he wanted her to flee. But he knew which one he wanted more, and if he let it happen Avram would be kicking himself for many years to come. What kind of a fool king lets his emotions control his actions? One who just lost his father.

"It was supposed to be you," he muttered softly, turning to face her again. "He would have wanted it to be you, not Lyanna." His face turned a deep shade of red, though from the wine or his own embarrassment he could not tell. "My father, I mean. He would not have wanted any of this. Letting the north fall into a pit of chaos. Watching me marry an Eburhart. Seeing you forced into exile because of nothing more than rumors..." He trailed off as he met her eyes. There was no denying how he felt about her as well. Had he been asked to define beauty he would have said 'Myla Auvery'. She was not beautiful in the same sense as Lyanna. Men would lust after the Eburhart girl for years to come and be satisfied with simply looking at her from a distance. But Myla's presence was something different. She held herself in a way that made others believe she thought of herself as beautiful, whether she knew it or not. Avram did not realize it at first, but he was walking towards her now, slowly closing the gap between them. He stopped when he was midway across the room, not wanting to frighten her as he had done with Lyanna. He almost chuckled at the thought. He was as thick as a stone wall if he thought Myla would be so meek as that.
 
Right when she was about to leave, Avram's words reached her ears, causing Myla to stop before she almost pushed the door open. Her eyes stared down at the door as she closed her eyes, a tightening in her throat beginning to overcome her a bit as she shook her head. She wanted to believe that his words were true; that his father truly would have wanted Avram's wife to be her instead of Lyanna. That he regretted every decision he had made after ousting her family from their power and that he wished that he could take it back. But she knew that that could never be admitted, nor would it ever. The King had done what he did because of the words that had been spoken to him, whether or not what had been told to him was true, that her father had shared a bed with his wife. Any man who cared any bit for their wife would be upset, and in his case he also had the power and ability to ruin that person's life. Unfortunately it had been father's, and, unfortunately, his family's life that had been ruined. And her's just seemed to continue to spiral out of her control and she couldn't get the reins back on it no matter what she tried to do.

"I doubt if any of that is true," she spoke her voice shaking a bit before she turned her body to face the Prince, or new King, again. "Him wanting it to be me. It may have been a distant memory or a thought, but I have a sinking feeling that, no matter what, there would always have been a bitter resentment towards us that he would have felt. Everything else though? The fall of the north and the state that the kingdom is running to, however, I feel is what he would not have wanted to happen." Unless none of that happened, of course. Unless that rumor or fact, she couldn't discern which it was, had never been uttered. Then they all might have been safe; she might not have had to run to like she has. She may have never had to experience the pain she felt after watching her family die right before her eyes, at two different intervals in her life, and she would never have known the guilt she could feel from those moments. She blamed herself so often, because what if she had done something differently? Could she have done something to save her mother and brother instead of just saving herself? Could she have done something differently to help her father not give up on his life and leave her in this world alone with no one? Could she have given him more hope? Could she have been a better daughter?

Tears were beginning to well in her eyes as those thoughts crossed her mind, anger and sadness all running through her. Anger over what happened, over the fact that she no longer had a family because of the royal family. Sadness because she knew that she would never again have a family and it hurt to think about her own. She hadn't thought of her family so much in such a time that it was becoming overwhelming. And when she looked to see Avram walking towards her it made her feel no better. It just served to remind her all the more of what she could have had in the past but never would. He served to remind her of their past and how she craved for it back. How she craved for her power and how she craved for the friendship and more that she could have had with this man. She craved for just a little bit of happiness to come back into her life. But she knew that none of that would happen or come back. "My father had mentioned it once, about us being wed. He didn't say it directly, but I knew what he meant. He... He said that I was fit to be a royal, and that that was how my future should have ended; as royalty. As a strong woman with an equally strong, or even stronger, man by my side." She tried her best to steel her resolve in front of him, not wanting to seem weak. Why did she still always feel as if she had something to prove in front of him? Even as children she felt as if she wasn't enough. He had been a Prince and she had been a noble, second to him. "But it can never be; it never will be, and both of us know that already. Being your wife is no longer the role I am supposed to fill, and we cannot continue to bring each other pain by thinking of what could have been and what should have been, because it won't happen."

Again she shook her head as she took a step back, her mind telling her to just leave. She couldn't do this. "You have a fiancee, Avram, and I am not her." Unfortunately so. But she wished she was, yet she would not dare utter those words. "I should not be the one here talking to you about this. She is the one who is supposed to help you through this." It pained her to admit that, and to again be reminded that she was being replaced. It was hard to face the reality of all of this. "I don't want to leave you, Avram, because doing that once was hard enough. But I have to leave. I don't want to cause you any more trouble." Myla turned back around then after giving him one last glance. She didn't want to put any more pressure on him. She didn't want to spark rumors and cause him any more trouble. She hesitated to open the door, yet when she hesitated she didn't open the door. Her grip tightened on it. "It's almost funny how our lives have changed so much over the years. How nothing has gone the way we have wanted it. How we should probably be enemies, or at least how I should hate you for your name and family. But I don't, even though I probably should. I'm sure my father must think I am a fool."
 
Surprise touched Avram when he saw tears streaming down Myla's face. He did not need to ask why though. The pain of loss returned to her as well. Seeing him like this had forced her to remember what her own situation had been like when her family was lost forever. He felt guilty for being the one that reminded her of such pain, a pain he would never wish upon anyone no matter how much he despised them. And yet it was something felt by numerous people every day. But not everyone had a love one die because of someone else's folly. He knew she spoke the truth about them not being capable of being together. It would doom them both if he tossed Lyanna aside for a woman without no land to her name. But he wanted no one else. Myla was someone he knew, someone he could trust. Did he trust Lyanna? Only to be obedient and easily swayed, two things a good queen would never be. Myla would be neither of those. The Gods were cruel to make him love a woman who could not help him in his duties and instead offer him one that was nothing more than a pretty face. The Gods were cruel for a great many things, yet that was the one that he chose to condemn them for. It was a laughable notion at best.

Her doubt ruffled a bit of anger in him, and he took another step toward her. "Do you doubt the words of your king then?" He could not prove that his father still respected the Auverys, but it had to be there when he was still alive. Surely he had some doubt about what he heard from the queen. Surely he could not be so foolish to think that Lord Jensen was the only one to blame. Not that any of that mattered anymore. Avram was the king now. "However much he may have mistrusted your father, he would never want to see a woman with no backbone sitting where the queen must. Regardless of your name, he would have seen you next to the throne, not Lyanna... as would I." It was a fantasy and nothing more. But it should have been more than that. And for a time it would have been. But why was he still dwelling on this? He knew it could never be, not anymore. For whatever reason he could only think about how much better off everyone would be had his mother never seduced her father. Was that what happened? Or was it the other way around?

"And I would not expect her to want to come anywhere near my chambers after what I said..." The words Avram had spoken... or shouted rather... were still clear in his mind. He accused her family of treachery, something he could not take back no matter how much he wanted to. "I was angry. All of my frustration was there. And she found me at the worst possible time. She did not deserve it. I may have opened a wound between us that will never fully heal." The worst part about all of that was that his frustration had returned, mostly because of the woman who stood before him. He wanted no one but her. And he knew she wanted him. But they could never realize their wants in this case. Avram scratched at a bit of dust on his cheek only to realize it was not dust. He had been crying as well, and he almost threw his goblet at the wall. How many tears had he shed tonight? How many had he caused? How many more would fall before the night was over? She was leaving him, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was the one who suggested that she leave in the first place. It was all for the best. And yet it was the last thing he wanted. How could he watch her leave again and not weep?

"I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore," he said, sounding almost as defeated as he was. "Half the realm seems to want me dead. The other half loves my mother more than it loves me. I had hope when I found you, a sign that the days of happiness would return, but that was a foolish boy thinking that fantasies were real. And now my father is dead. Poisoned. Right under my nose." She was still facing the door, and he only just realized that he was now standing directly behind her. "Your father would never think you a fool. Maybe our father resented each other in the end, but that does not mean we have to." He placed a gentle but firm hand on her shoulder. Was he trying to comfort her now? Or was he still hoping she would comfort him? "But they had intended for us to marry, however long ago that was. That can never happen. We can ease their pained souls by showing them where out hearts still lie." His voice grew hoarse and his eyes were suddenly fixated on the floor. "Because no matter who I wed, my heart belongs to one woman only."
 
Did she doubt the words of the King that had just passed? Yes, yes she did. But how could she not? After what he had done to her father she found it hard to believe so many things that the man would do, of what he would even think. For years, before she had decided to come back to the capital, she had tried her best to avoid any news of the royals, especially of the King and of the decisions that he would make over the kingdom, despite how those notions had become less frequent as he slowly lost his mind. When she would hear the whispers of people speaking of the man and the state that he was descending into, because that was words that had been going around for a long while, she would leave and not come back because it was something that she could not bare to hear because it continued to remind her of her father. Because now when ever she thought of the King she could not think of anything except her father and the state that the ruler of the kingdom had left his family in. There was a part of Myla that she knew would never be able to forgive the man, nor could she ever truly forgive his family despite how they, other than the Queen because she had been brought into the ordeal as well, had done nothing because they were still associated with the man. But wasn't that how it was for her? Just because of her name and who her father was she was condemned to live in his shadow and the decisions that he had made in his life and the royal family could never accept her, except for Avram.

But would his words and his thoughts be the same if Lyanna was different? If she was a stronger woman with more backbone and a mind of her own would he believe that the King would think of such. Because, in her mind, if Lyanna was stronger and more capable of doing the duties of a Queen then the King would probably have cared less about herself, an Auvery. It would have been a true replacement, one that they could afford to make because, in a sense, maybe they wouldn't be losing anything. Maybe they would again have a strong Queen and Myla knew that she would have been pushed aside. Avram would not be admitting any of this, she wanted to think, as much as it hurt to do so. She could not deny the little bit of happiness that swelled through her over the character that Lyanna was though, because she felt as if it made her look better, though she knew that it wouldn't and didn't. She was at the very least reassured that she wasn't being replaced by somebody better than her, and that at least was something to think about.

Myla spoke nothing and instead continued to listen to the words that strung from his mouth. So, him an his fiancee had gotten into an argument? She couldn't say that she was entirely upset about the matter, however she knew that she could not show that emotion to him. Regardless, Lyanna was to be his wife, and with his status already on shaky grounds he did not need to make himself look like a bad King now that his father was gone. And with the other words that he spoke she could only imagine the hardships that he was going to have to face. Unfortunately she knew all too well what it felt like to have so many people want you dead, though was his feeling different because of his status? Did it hurt more to know that the people he would be protecting, ruling over, hated him and wanted him gone? She had no one to depend on and no one depended on or looked to her, so she knew not what it felt to have followers distrust you. She could feel his presence directly behind her, causing her to stiffen her body just the slightest bit, especially at his last words. His heart would only belong to one woman, her. And her heart would only belong to him, because he was the only one that she could trust. He was the only one she ever really felt comfortable around, especially when they were children, when they were happy. He was the only one who had pulled that happiness out of her, and she knew that no one else would be able to. "The wine is beginning to cloud your mind. You're speaking things that shouldn't be spoken." No matter how true they were or how true she wanted them to be. She just didn't want to admit it back to him because she was afraid.

It took her a second but she finally turned back to look at him, except her heart seemed to stop at the sight of his tears and how defeated he looked. She didn't like to see him this way; it didn't work for him, yet what could she do? Things like this came with feeling loss, feeling as if your world was falling apart, yet she wondered if his truly was. She wondered if hers had already crumbled into pieces that she could never put back together. But it made her wonder whether or not he was more upset over the death of his father, or because neither of them could have what they wanted. With his hand on her shoulder she reached both of her hands up and cupped his face in her hands, raising it just a bit so that he would look at her and not at the floor. She caressed his cheeks gently with her thumbs, wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes. "Do not lose yourself to this Avram," she whispered to him. "Do not let their words affect you or who you are and do not let your father's death consume your mind. It will only ruin you and ruin the man that I now you can be, that I know you are. Your father's death was not your fault, no matter if it happened so suddenly and under your nose. It is not your fault..." Because she only knew too well what it was like to blame oneself for the death of someone. Because for years that was all she could tell herself, and there were even moments now when she still berated herself for what happened with her family. "People will respect you one day, Avram, and not just because of your status and title but because of who you are. One day, you will show them all that you are a great King." She gave him a little smile, though it soon fell as she sighed. Comforting him, this is what she had wanted to do. Not to plead her case or make sure that he knew that she hadn't done it. But she wondered if her words would work. She wanted to think that he would one day be a good King because she knew that he had the ability to. But would he last long enough with this impending war on the horizon? Could he really be a good King? "It just takes time, but I know you can do it. Because if you didn't care about your kingdom, then you wouldn't feel as if you could do nothing about it now. You care. You are a strong man, a good man. I can see that in you now and I remember seeing that in you when we were young. You always have been, and soon others will see that as well. I know they will." She gave a little nod of her head before she stopped. "Just do not let this feeling of despair control you. You can feel sadness and you can feel pain because it is only natural to feel those things with this. But do not blame yourself for this because it will ruin you. Please. Remember your worth, because I know it."
 
The wine was doing a lot more than clouding Avram's mind as far as he could tell. Had he not already had four helpings he probably would not have even ventured this close to her. He was thinking things that he should not, things that could put his throne and her life in great jeopardy if they ever came to fruition. Avram had seen men and women alike make many terrible mistakes when they were inebriated, something he did not want to be another statistic in. And yet seeing Myla before him now, as illuminating as she looked, with no one around but the two of them, those dangerous thoughts continued to flow through his head like a river. What irked him the most about them is they represented what was supposed to be. Had things gone as they were meant to, Avram could love Myla both in heart and in action. There would be no reason to hide it. She would have been a magnificent queen, kind but firm. If he ever strayed the wrong way she would be there to correct him. That was something he would not receive from Lyanna. And as difficult as it was to admit, Avram could not bring himself to believe that he might one day grow to love the Eburhart girl as much as he did Myla.

A chill ran down Avram's spine when he felt her hands on his face. The soft touch of her hands graced his skin warmly, and he felt his cheeks grow hot. Were there more light available she would certainly have noticed the sudden redness in his cheeks. He lifted his own hands and placed them on on her's as she spoke. He did not want to let the touch subside just yet. It was not likely he would have another chance to savor it again in this lifetime. Her eyes were glued to his, and as enchanting as they were with the delicate moonlight reflecting off them, they showed a quiet fierceness that made him shiver, both with excitement as well as uneasiness. Lyanna would never have dared to do something like this. She was to meek to take control of anything or anyone. But Myla gazed at him without fear, as if she was so certain of what she said, so certain that there was light at the end of the tunnel, though he could not see it himself. It only confirmed his belief that this was indeed the woman he should have been with. Why did that thought keep coming back? Maybe the wine really was impeding his judgement.

As Myla spoke, Avram took in every word that was uttered. He was not sure that they were all true, but they seemed to do him some good all the same. She probably blamed herself for a long time after the deaths of her mother, brother, and father. Maybe she still did sometimes, even though there was surely nothing she could have done about it at the time. He could not fall down that hole too, and she clearly did not want him to follow her into such a feeling of despair. It was admirable of her to be so willing to recall her own pain just to see that his was contained and bearable. And he hated himself for making her do it. How could he let her do something like that for him just so he would not longer feel upset about his father's death? It was selfish, and the last thing he wanted was to have Myla suffer just so she could comfort him. What king made things easier for himself at the expense of others? No good king, that he was sure of. Avram could not let her relive her own pain for him, and he was going to put an end to it. He would see that she was comforted as well, or there would be no forgiving himself.

Gripping her hands, which had remained on his cheeks the entire time she spoke, Avram pulled them away from his head, but he did not let them go, choosing to hold them tightly by his chest. Their warmth was too much for him to release them willingly. "Do not do this for me. I cannot ask you to remember your pain for my own benefit. You want to comfort me, and I appreciate that more than I can put into words. But you have experienced the loss before. You should not have to feel it again." Absentmindedly, he gently caressed his thumbs over the back of her hands as if it was something he had done a thousand times before. "It hurts you to remember it, and tonight I would not have you do that for me. Tonight, I would comfort you through the pain no one guided you through." He lifted one of her hands and planted a tender kiss over her fingers, knowing how much he would regret the action come morning. He hoped the Gods were more forgiving tonight, for this was a sin he dared not mention to anyone, know matter how much he trusted them.
 
Was she saying too much? Had she already said too much with her words and had she stepped over any boundaries that she should not have? Then again, had she not already crossed boundaries that she should not have even dared step close to, such as just being in this room with Avram? They both had decided that it would be best for them to not to spend time alone together, if only so that other people would not catch them in the act and catch their actions as something different then they would be, but, now, she was beginning to think differently about why they shouldn't have spent any alone time together. Because it brought back their past, made them remember, and it made them hurt. It made them want it all more, and it made them realize their feelings for one another and admitted things that were better left unsaid. True, Avram was inebriated, and that could always be used against him to make it seem as if he had done nothing wrong because of this; because he was not in his right mind and his actions could not be held accountable to what he normally would have done. But she was not. She was still in her right mind and was more than capable of making her own and the right decisions in a situation like this. And yet she was still making the wrong ones, or at least they were the wrong decisions to others if they would see. But in her mind they were right. She wanted them to be right.

As his grip tightened around her hands she took a breath, the warmth of his hands against hers almost soothing her a bit, almost making it seem as if this really was right and that nothing was wrong with this. It almost put her in a different time, this entire situation, one that she wanted to be in. One where she was his fiancee, one where they would not have to be so worried about if people saw them. One where she was still a noble and still had her lady status that people would respect. But would things have really turned out this way had she still had her power and if her family was still alive? She knew that she would be wed to Avram, but would she love him? It could be argued, she knew, that maybe their distance and their connection that had never been severed was what kept their feelings there and even made them grow, but would those feelings still be there if she had not left? Would she even be the person that she was now? Would they have not grown to hate each other over the course of them growing up, or at least would they not have grown tired of each other? He was forbidden to her, because of who they were and that would not change. Perhaps that was how it was supposed to be, and not how they wanted to imagine it, because when did things ever happen the way they imagined it?

She shook her head at his words as her hands were placed against his chest. No, she wanted to do this for him. "You do not need to comfort me for my pains; I have already made my piece with it." It was a lie, but she didn't want to admit that to him. She wanted him to feel better about this because she could comfort him because she knew how hard it was to go through something like the loss of a family member alone. But he wasn't alone, and he never would be. He still had the rest of his family to mourn his father's death with. "It may pain me to remember what happened, but it is something that I can never forget and I have learned to deal with in my own self. You do not need to worry yourself over me. After all, I am used to dealing with things on my own." Yet she wished that she didn't. She wished she had a family again and even wished that there may be a possibility that she would have children of her own, but she knew that it wouldn't happen. She did not want to bring a child into this world with who she was and with the things she had to go through. She was the last Auvrey, or as far as she knew, and she would be the last. Once she died, the Auvery line would be gone, never to return again. But she had accepted her fate long ago, as well as the fate of her lineage. She would never have children and she would never marry, because if she were to marry then she would no longer be an Auvery but what ever family that her husband came from and she could not stand to lose her name like that. "You just need to worry of yourself and your own worries because that is what is more important." Or at least that was more important to her.

But when he pulled one of her hands up and kissed her fingers lightly, her breath caught in her throat, hitched even a little at the feeling. She almost reprimanded herself for wishing that her fingers were her lips, but she dared not utter a word about it. Instead, however, it brought on a new sense of worry because of that previous thought and because of another thought that had come to her mind; the Queen and her father. If the premise of what had been said was true, and they had shared a bed, then, regardless, something of this must have happened. Whether one of them were tricked into the act, it may have still happened though she did not want to think so. But was she and Avram not in a similar situation? Instead of it being the Queen it was him, Avram, the new King, and instead of her father, the Lord, it was her the... A peasant. She wished to say that she was a Lady but she was not, or at least not in the sense that she had power. Yet had she still they situation almost mirrored that of the little that she had heard, only reversed. Yes, they were not sharing a bed, however they were still crossing over boundaries that could ruin the both of them if they were not careful. "We cannot do this, Avram. You are not in your right mind and I fear that if I stay here longer we may regret what happens." She pulled her hands from out of his grasp and wiped at her tears that had fallen and wet her face. "I have been in here for too long, and I am not sure if anyone is looking for me at this moment, so it would be best for me to leave now." A sullen look graced her features before she tried to wipe the expression away and gave a sigh. "But before I leave, how will you fair for the night? Will you be alright? I would advise you to not drink the entire bottle of wine you have, if only because I have done the same before to try and drown my sorrows but I only woke the next morning feeling worse about the situation and even about myself, but I cannot tell you what to do, and if you wish to drink then do so. Just take care of yourself."
 
Avram did not doubt that Myla was capable of handling things on her own. After all, she had survived the devastation occurring in the north and lived on her own, without a family or companions, for years before she returned to the capital. But he was less hesitant to believe that she had come to terms with the loss. It was not the type of pain one could let go of. Avram had seen it in his mother when she spoke of her father. He had also heard it from Ser Gerold when he spoke of his brother's death. Neither of them, as old as they were now, had never fully recuperated from such heavy losses and they likely never would. Avram would not say it to Myla's face, but he was certain she would be the same, and the tears that littered her flushed cheeks confirmed that thought. But there was more to him wanting to comfort her than that. He was a king now. It was his duty to take care of his subjects, not the other way around. If he could not even do that for woman, even one as strong as Myla, how could he lead the way he was supposed to? That was something he would have to answer soon, especially with the worry that his men would be marching for war soon.

"You are strong and brave, Myla," he stated calmly, or so he thought he did. "But a king must lead by example. I see a woman before me who has lost everything because of my family. And now, through my own fault, her life is in even greater jeopardy than ever before. Your family was lost, and I could do nothing about it, but now I am here, as are you. The pain will never leave, but I can help if you let me." Her hands seemed to tremble as he held them gently in his. He knew she wanted to say yes, but she was either too proud or too scared. No, her pride was almost completely stripped of her long ago, and what remained was merely a shadow of it. She had to be afraid. Afraid of what might happen if she were caught with him. Afraid that if she allowed him to comfort her then she would be even less willing to leave him behind. Afraid that if she experienced what they both wanted, what they both knew could have happened, there would be no going back to whatever this was now. It was something that frightened him as well. Would he be able to see her leave and not feel remorse? It was difficult enough to have already told her that she must leave. But the thought of being with her, even just once, was too much to ignore.

The resisting effort Myla made when pulling away confirmed his notion. It was true that he had taken far too much wine to be thinking clearly right now, but these were thoughts that plagued him even when he was sober. The wine was only making him less afraid to speak them aloud. But he knew he should have feared to speak them. He should be afraid for her safety and afraid for his throne. Anyone could walk in now and see the two of them standing there. Had she not been there with him, Avram would have had a much easier time understanding what a horrible idea this was. But she was there. He could not ignore the beauty both inside and outside of this woman. Even as she crticized him... scolded him really... for his inebriated thoughts, he would not let her words sway him. The Gods were probably shouting curses down on him that very moment for letting this situation get as far as it had. And still he pressed further, wanting to know that his love for Myla was justified even if he could not see it come to fruition.

Avram lifted a hand to brush away the tears that fell on her cheeks, just as she had done to him before. Her skin was soft and smooth, and he gently caressed the side of her cheek with the knuckle of his forefinger, then lifted her chin so that she met his gaze. "You continue to tell me that this is dangerous, and you are right. But you have yet to tell me that you would not have me if you could. If you tell me that now, then leave freely and with haste." It was all he could do not to wrap his arms around Myla's waist and pull her towards him. The hour was growing late, and guards would show up eventually to make sure he was safe. If they saw this there would certainly be rumors spread. But what could be spread that was not already? Lies about the two of them being lovers had already popped up and would likely continue no matter what happened tonight. Would it be so bad to add only a little but of truth to them? "You came here for a reason and have yet to tell me what that reason was. You would not believe for a moment that I believed you to be a murderer. And you already suggested that it was Lyanna's duty to comfort me, not your's. Tell me honestly the reason you are here is not because you love me and you may leave this room and I will not pursue an answer."
 
Myla wanted his help. As much as she did not want to admit it because of the fear that ran through her, she wanted someone, she wanted him, to be there to comfort her because comforting oneself was nothing like having another person there to comfort you. For years she had been unable to cry on the shoulder of someone else. For years she had been unable to tell anyone her worries and fears to; her fears of being killed like her mother and brother and her fear of dying like her father after having given up on his own life. Oh, how there had been times when she had wanted to end it all, when she no longer wanted to live because she felt as if she had nothing to live for... But she could never do that to herself. There had always been something, there still was something, that kept her going and that kept her mind sated enough to keep her alive. Kept her well enough to keep on fighting. But would having his help, would him helping her, make her seem weak? Make her realize that she wasn't as strong as she wanted to believe that she was and that she wasn't capable enough to stand on her own when she had lived through the torment that has been most of her life? That was something she did not know she could handle, because she had steeled herself off from the comfort of others so long ago.

She went to open her mouth to speak something to him, however when she opened her mouth and her lips quivered, nothing came out. He knew that she needed something yet she was afraid to give him that confirmation because of everything around them. Because of who he was. But that realization alone made her shut her mouth and turn her eyes to look in another direction. She felt it was a weakness inside her, and the fact that he could clearly see it made her wonder just how well she really was with masking her emotions. Or maybe she just felt free enough to show them to Avram. She knew that he would not judge her for not being strong willed like an Auvery was supposed to be, and he did not judge her for her moments of weakness when they came, because, in her mind, no one could be strong all the time and it was beginning to get harder and harder for her to try and keep that facade up around herself. She did not want to seem broken because of her past, and she wanted to make it seem as if she could handle herself, though it would be a lie to say that she hadn't been feeling lost for a long while. And that was why she came back to the capital, and that was why she secretly hoped to see Avram again. She thought that maybe she wouldn't feel as lost anymore and that she would know what to do. But that wasn't really the case. She was feeling even more confused then ever, and it was because of Avram and because of the way he made her feel.

She couldn't help but lean into his hand a bit as he wiped away her tears, her eyes slipping closed before they opened back up and pointed them right back at him as he lifted her chin up. Though he had had so much wine she could still see a clearness in his eyes, and from the way he spoke to her and the questions he asked she knew that he wanted an answer. The truth, and even if she tried to lie she felt as if she he would see through her rouge and call her out on it. Just leave. You're going to get yourself into more trouble than you could ever hope for, a voice rang through her head, her father's voice. Why it was his voice, she could not say, however, for once, she did not heed the man's warnings. As a little girl she would listened to every word that he spoke, but now she was listening to it less and less, much like every other voice that seemed to speak to her that tried to point her in the right direction. Would she have him if she could? Yes. Would she stay here if she could? Yes.

"I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to be the one here for you in your time of need because I understand the pain that you are going through. I wanted to see you through it because I wanted to be the one that could help you and not that woman. Not your fiancee. I detest her with every fiber of my being because I know she is a sorrow replacement for me, and even for you. She does not deserve you; she does not deserve your comfort and your love and she does not deserve the status that she will be given because of your wedding. She does not deserve to be wed to you. She does not deserve to share a name with you." Her brows furrowed as she spoke, just the anger and jealousy from that woman causing it's own set of pain to her body. Speaking those words aloud, speaking her hatred for Lyanna was dangerous in it's own self, one that had anyone else heard those words they would have arrested her because it was not right to speak down on someone that was of a much higher status. But she didn't care. She did not doubt that Avram did not feel that strongly towards his fiancee, otherwise he would not have shouted at her earlier if his statement of the event had been true. If he cared for that woman dearly she would be in this room instead and she would be the one holding Avram and embracing him like Myla wanted to. But she took breath to calm herself of that woman's presence and to settle the anger in her. "I wanted to show you that I care for you, that I still do as dangerous of a thing as it is to admit. I wanted to speak with you one one last time alone before I would have to leave, because when I do leave there is no doubt that I will never come back and that I will never see you again and that alone is hard for me to withstand." If she could she would ask him to leave with her, because obviously he was not happy here, she would but she knew that she could not do that to him or even ask such a thing. This kingdom needed a ruler and it was him. Besides, she knew that he would never get accustomed to the lifestyle that she had grown used to living in. He would hate it, and in the end he would probably resent her for getting him to come along. He has lived the life of a royal his entire life, and while she did not doubt his strength she could only imagine how long it would take before he would go mad with himself. "I just wanted to be with you one last time alone." She whispered her last words to him, her face flushed red as she ran over the words in her own head.
 
For the first time, Avram could see weakness in Myla. In any other situation she would have been as poised and stagnant as a rock, meeting every word with a cool gaze and a response that hinted at no emotions. Even when she wept he could not discern what she felt. But not this time. She looked as lost as he was for half a moment, and Avram found himself wondering how she had managed to go this long without having been this confused. Then again maybe she had and refused to tell anyone. But that did not sound like Myla. Every time she spoke to someone, as far as he knew, she spoke as if she were a queen, like she was meant to be. Even during council meetings she seemed to speak with a hint of authority, as if she expected her opinions to matter. And they certainly did, though through experience Avram found that his tone was often far more authoritative in such settings. Yet he still thought of her as the stronger of the two. To hear her throw so many of her emotions at him all at once was overwhelming at first. And he had half a mind to buckle under the weight of it all.

To hear her talk about Lyanna in such a way almost made him take a step back, though he resisted. She never spoke ill of others like this unless she had a reason to. What had his fiance done that she could be condemned for? Her only crime was that she was not Myla, and as the woman before him implied so profoundly, that was a terrible crime for a woman who had Avram as her husband. The part that was difficult to swallow was that he almost agreed with her. It made him feel foolish, but was that not half the reason he yelled at Lyanna in the first place? None of this was her fault at all. She simply was not the woman Avram wanted, regardless of her beauty. Had he not wished, from the moment she walked into the room, that she would disappear and Myla would appear in her place? His wish had been granted, but it was not what he had expected. There was too much confusion and uncertainty for his liking, and his head spun ever so slightly from the wine that was still taking its effect. He would not be saying or doing any of this had it not been for that, and he was a fool to think otherwise. But as fate would have it, there he was, declaring his love for her while she delivered her feelings as well.

It was not just that Myla wanted to be there to comfort him, he realized. She wanted to be the only one. It must have been difficult for her to swallow the idea that there was another woman who was meant to do that. A right that had been taken from her, as she must have seen it. Avram could not deny that if he saw another man swaying Myla with lustrous words he would have gone into a mad rage. Envy was a monster when it claimed its victims. But she not only wanted to comfort him. She wanted to simply just be with him, one last time. That was the very reason he could not bring himself to make her leave. He enjoyed her presence. He relished it. And to have to say goodbye to something he would miss dearly was not easy to absorb. His father had just left him, and now Myla would to. In addition, he knew that Larcin would be accompanying her when she left. Another close companion that he would likely never see again. If Avram had to have his last moments with Myla now, then he wanted them to be memorable for the both of them. If he made love to her tonight, it would be the most regrettable thing he could do, but it would also be the happiest memory he could ever draw upon in the future.

"I have never heard you speak in such ways before. Lyanna has committed no crime, and yet you despise her because she is not you." He could not criticize her for that of course, not after what he said to the Eburhart lady. "When I yelled at her, I was not angry with her per say. And yet I was." He swallowed what felt like a boulder in his throat. "I was furious because she was the one who came to see that I was well. I was upset because it was not you. I wanted it to be you. And yet I hoped you would stay as far away from this room as you could. But who could I talk to about this anymore than you?" The tears seemed to be drying on her cheeks now, but she still looked as weak as she had before. It was a weakness he could fix. He could make her happy again, if only for a short time. But any moment of joy would be welcome in the lives they led now. "You are here now. And you are with me, something I would cherish for a thousand years and more. If I could I would be with you, hold you, until the stars fell from the heavens and last of the sun's light dwindled into nothing." Whatever came over him then he would not attribute to a cloudy mind. He would not blame the wine. His sins were his own no matter how drunk he was. He folded his arms around her waist and pulled her close, dropping a forceful yet tender kiss over her unsuspecting lips.
 
From the way he spoke it, Myla could not help but feel as if she had said the words that an angry child would say in regards to Lyanna. Avram was right; she had, really, done no crime, and she certainly hadn't done anything personally to Myla herself, yet she could not help but despise the girl. It was a pit of anger, and even envy, that she could not climb herself out of because when she thought of Lyanna she thought of everything that she had lost. Avram, her family, her power. She was supposed to be a royal, not some lowly peasant who would soon have to run back to that world and drag others along with her so that she could make sure she stayed safe. But then, could those feelings not be said for everyone of a high status in this kingdom, in this world? Because when she saw Lord and Ladies and when she set her eyes upon the royal family she could only see the wealth and happiness from that wealth that they had. They did not have to worry about eating because they were always assured to have a meal; they did not have to worry of warmth when the cold season would rush upon the land because they would always be assured to have a fire and wood to spark the flames and warm blankets to rest over their beds. They had so much, they had everything that Myla wished to have again and it frustrated her to think that those people did not understand how lucky they were. They held no value towards the things they had because they had never lost it before. But she has.

And that was what frustrated her most about Lyanna. Because her family wasn't being taken from their power and Lyanna would be a Queen. That was not supposed to be her position to take and Myla could not stomach the thought that she would never be able to have to luxuries that she wished to have. She could not escape the envy she held towards the girl and her family because they were all still alive and they were a high status when she was nothing. She could not stand to think that they were better than her.

As those thoughts meandered through her mind, Myla couldn't deny how her throat seemed to tighten up. She was a fool, and though she remembered her father's words of him telling her to never lose herself and never lose her pride because she was an Auvery and no one could take that away from her she knew that she had lost that long time ago. Because once she had grown envious of every noble family that walked the grounds of the earth she no longer had the pride of an Auvery because an Auvery would not have grown envious of others because she would still remember her worth. Instead, she found herself worthless. But if she was going to put the blame on someone she wanted to pin it on Lyanna because she considered her a replacement and that was something that made her feel better. Instead of making it seem as if the woman was actually a person it just made her a thing in Myla's eyes; a replacement, and nothing more. She was only there to fill in the spot that had been ripped away from her and Lyanna would never have been given the opportunity she had now had the Auvery's still been a well and strong family.

Avram's words had faded into the recesses of her mind as he spoke, his mouth moving yet it was as if she could not really understand what he had been saying. Not until, at least, he spoke of what he would do if he could have her. He would hold her until their lives or the earth ended and that was how she wanted things to end. That, at least, seemed peaceful. But she hadn't expected the sudden movement from him and she hadn't expected to feel his hands encircle around her waste, pulling her flush against his body as a quiet gasp escaped from her lips. And she certainly hadn't expected to feel his lips pressed against hers in that next second, and she hadn't expected to feel the shudders than ran through her entire body at the warmth that came from the contact. Her mind screamed for her to stop, for her to push him back and to just leave the room before things would go too far. Think of her father and what she had heard. Think of the consequences that would and could arise from this. It was such a dizzying effect that Myla didn't know how to take it. With the warmth she felt from Avram, with the confusion that screamed in her mind, and with the pounding of her heart that she could hear in her ears she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she wanted to do... Until she finally realized it, and shortly after Myla pushed all of those thoughts from her mind and all of the thoughts that persisted to try and clog her mind because she did not want to hear them. She did not want to listen to them because she did not want him to stop. She would not stop him. She just wanted to feel, because when was the last time she had truly been able to feel anything?

She closed her eyes and let the feeling of his lips take over her as she pressed her lips into his then. She raised her arms up and placed her arms behind his neck, one of her hands trailing up the nape of his neck as her fingers threaded through the hair that rested there. No, she would not stop this. He would be the one that had to do it.
 
Surprisingly there was no resistance from Myla. If anything she welcomed the kiss as if she were expecting it, despite her warnings of how dangerous this could be, which Avram knew were truer than they needed to be. And yet their lips remained together, almost as if someone had plastered them together with cement. Why had he initiated this? Why was he letting it continue? Because he was a fool. A love-struck fool who was no better than a drunken sailor thinking he could have his way with any woman. But this was not just any woman. It was Myla Auvery. She should be the one he wedded in less than two days. She should be the one he called 'Queen'. She should be the one to birth him an heir. Avram felt as if his feet had lifted off the floor. He would never have his feeling with Lyanna. The longer he felt her arms draped around his neck and the sweet touch of her lips, Avram was sure that everything he said before this was true. He loved her, and she loved him. He half contemplated running off with her, but he had duties to attend to. Myla was a woman he would trade all of his power for, but not at the expense of the rest of the kingdom. If he left the entire realm would be thrown into chaos, though so far it seemed there would be bloodshed anyway. Still, he was no quitter.

Avram was not quite sure how long it lasted. A couple of minutes? A day? For all he knew a whole year had come and gone. However long they held together, when he pulled his face away from her's he was grinning like a child. His arms were still set snugly around her waist, and he did not care to let go any time soon. Not tonight. Even in the dark she was still beautiful to his eyes. Without warning, he lifted her off the floor and stared up at her face with a cheeky smile. She was clearly not expecting it. Half of his excitement came from the kiss they had just shared, and the other half came from the knowledge that they might be caught. He did not know why that was. The prospect of someone seeing them together should have frightened him. But instead it thrilled him. He truly felt as if they were children again, getting themselves into trouble and hoping no one would catch them. If the past was any indication then they might even be caught within a matter of minutes. But did he care this time? He should have, but he could not find the will to.

The thoughts running through his head would make a religious man gasp with disbelief. He was sure about twelve different sins were being committed now, and if this continued another fifty or so would follow. "Tonight," he whispered, still staring up at her eyes without a care in the world, "we will finally experience what was meant to be." He meandered over to the bed with Myla still dangling in his hold. He set himself down and pulled her snugly into his lap. He continued to gaze at her eyes all the while. Whatever emotions were consuming her now, he could not see anger or an urge to resist among them. One of his hands brushed locks of her hair away from that smooth, strong face. The dim light from the moon illuminated her skin, albeit faintly. "Tonight I would have you here, if you would have me. Tonight, there is no Lyanna. There is no Corlan Eburhart. There is no Queen Meredina." He was not sure if the wine was still talking for him but it was all he could do not to rip her dress off right then. No, he would savor this time with her. He would savor it until he saw her again... which would be never.

His lips met her's for a second time, now more forcefully than before. He discovered his hands were tugging gently on the back of her dress and felt a pang of guilt hit his chest. But it was quickly removed by the rapid beat of his hear as he felt the gentle caress of Myla's lips. They both wanted this, even if they were hesitant. But they wanted it. The dance had already begun and there was not stopping it now, even if he wanted to, which he certainly did not. Tomorrow morning Avram would find himself wishing she were still here in his chambers. He would also know that the only woman who would be in here almost every day afterward was Lyanna Eburhart. And his thoughts would almost always flow back to this night, reminding him of the one he would never see again. And he would always know that he broke the trust of everyone he knew by letting this night progress as it did.
 
Myla hadn't expected to feel the sudden thump in her heart as they pulled back from the kiss, her eyes setting instantly upon the smile that graced the man's lips. She could not describe how happy the sight had made her. To just know that for this one moment she was able to make him happy enough to change that crestfallen look he held from the worries that were piled upon his shoulders into one of happiness and almost delight. This was the Avram she remembered seeing; this was the one she knew. The one who was happy, the one who would do so much for the people that he cared for. His face reminded her of the many pranks they would pull as children because no matter if they had ever gotten caught, which they always had, that smile would never fall from his lips because he had enjoyed himself. Because he had no worries in his life that could bring him down from that high, and she had been the same way. This was the happiness that she craved to have back. The one where the two of them could smile and grin at one another, the one where they could freely laugh in a joyous tone with one another. However despite their happiness she knew that it would only be fleeting and these shared moments would not be able to leave the confinement of his chambers. Oh, how she wished it could. How she wished she could show and prove to everyone of how they felt and that this was not just because the temptations were too strong, which she could admit they were. They had feelings, strong feelings, for each other, one she thought a man and woman should hold together. Not like Avram and Lyanna. Their union would not be of love but it would be of power.

Though she told herself that this was not much of a laughing matter, that they were about to cross the line that was shunned by people of this kingdom, when he lifted her feet from the ground she could not help the soft giggles that escaped past her lips. And still he held that endearing smile that made her hold tighten around him a little tighter because she did not want to let him go. She did not want this moment to pass though she knew that it would. Everything was against them, everything was against them being together, yet they had still wound their way into what they were now. A weird twist of fate, she liked to think of it, no matter how deadly the consequences could be. But surely this had to be a plan of some fate, because otherwise why would the Gods allow something like this to happen? If this moment was not meant to happen between them, then she never would have come to his room. He would have sent her away long ago. Someone would have burst their way into the chamber right then to arrest her and to take her away. But none of that was happening, so this moment must be, no? Regardless she did not care. She continued to caress the hairs on the nape of his neck as she looked into his eyes, movement starting in his legs as he brought her away from the door, away from her escape of this chamber, and brought her to his bed, something she knew only one other woman would share with him. A woman she still despised. If there was one thought, however, that made her feel a little better, it was that she knew Lyanna did not and would not hold Avram's heart like she did. At least she had something that that woman didn't, something that she would never be able to have.

But there was a pause in her thought when she thought of the woman, and even as Avram spoke her name after setting her into his lap as he sat on his bed, his tone soft, whispered as if the walls could be listening to them. This moment was only between them and no one else... She could not deny the short thought that this was, again, wrong and that she was becoming a disgrace to her family name by doing this. It was almost as if she could feel her mother's sorrow and wrath over this moment because the woman had always told her to respect her boundaries and to never lust after a man, or anything, that she could not have. She should, or could, never divide the trust that a husband and wife held by seducing the husband because it was one of the worst things that she could ever do. Only whores committed such treacherous acts, and she was no whore. An Auvery was no whore. But was that not what she was doing now? Was she not about to lay with a man who already had a woman that would be by his side? Had she not been lusting after him, as well as the power and goods she wished to have back? She knew she was, and she knew she was committing the worst sin that would surely have her entire family turning where they lay. But they were all dead. What more could they do to her other than haunt her with their presence and memory?

Her back arched as she felt him begin to tug at the back of her dress as he placed his lips back against hers forcefully. An anxiousness coursed through her body, but it slowly started to turn into excitement and then soon she did not think much and instead decided to, again, just feel Avram and his presence with her now. To just feel the sensations that he was bringing to her and make it seem as if the rest of this world did not matter to her. She could worry about her wrong doings when all was said and done, and surely she would. But she refused to have those thoughts ruin what was happening right now. Not as she trailed her hands down from his neck and over the front of his chest. She brought their lips inches apart again, only to whispers these few words to him before she placed her lips back against his, "Show me how strong your love for me is." Because she would show him how strong her's was.
 
It would have taken only a second to secure the latch on the door, preventing anyone from walking in. But part of the thrill that filled Avram now was the idea of going through with this while knowing fully well they could be caught. And with the hour growing later, someone might assume he was asleep anyway, or so he hoped. Either way, his focus was solely on the woman sitting in his lap. His breath seemed to catch for the small moment in which they parted, an he gripped her even more tightly when Myla's words fell upon his ears. The strength of his love for her could very well destroy the tower itself, or so he wanted to believe. And he would have responded by saying 'My love for you exceeds strength itself'. Instead he found her mouth over his again, and he fell back at the shear force of her will. All of her warnings before, all of her hesitation were all for naught. Myla had given into the desires she desperately concealed, and Avram was faring no better. It did not matter. Their garments were being stripped off as they continued their passionate embrace. He assumed they were the ones doing that, but in the moment he was certain there were spirits or demons doing it for them, edging them on in their sinful desires. And they obliged without a second thought. Not even the entire wine cellar would not calm him until this was ended, something he wished to never see.

Avram could barely recall what had actually happened for the past hour. Or had it been a month? All he knew was that whatever had occurred, it was the most wonderful experience of his life, something that would not be duplicated. He had lain with a few women in the past, but none of those had been for love, only lust. Myla was cradled in his arms, taking deep breaths and clutching at him as if she were holding onto the rail of a sinking ship. A faint sheen of sweat glistened on their bodies. He held her as he had promised, though he regretted that this would not last the eternity he wanted. His fingers brushed her hair softly, then glided down her cheek delicately. All the while he peered at her eyes in wonder. This would never happen again. But knowing that they experienced it just once, to know that their love was truly as strong as they hoped, was enough for him. It no longer mattered that she would be leaving. She would be safe in Altiman. He did not want to think that he was assuming to much there. It was a less civilized continent as far as Avram knew, and there was rarely any news from it other than the occasional chatter from merchants who sold exotic merchandise they picked up during their travels.

Kissing the back of Myla's hand again, Avram sighed with worry. Or perhaps it was relief. The wine was no longer clouding his head as it did before, but he still seemed at peace. "The night is late, and I should be warning you to return to your room before suspicions rose." His gaze peered off into distant thoughts, though his eyes were still glued to Myla's. A handmaiden could have walked into her room by now, wondering where she was. Her belongings would still be there, so no one would suspect of her of running. But knowing that she was not in her room would be enough to raise questions about her nighttime activities. What if she was off poisoning other members of the royal family? Had that been the notion someone would have leaped into his room to see that he was safe. Avram sighed again, this time with worry for sure. He was thinking too hard on the matter. Before long, Myla would be out of Sarvayl and safe. "But I would rather not have you alone in your chambers while there are still those about who would want to to see you harmed. And in any case..." he smoother her hair again. It was like silk slipping through his fingers, "... I said I would hold you for an eternity. Unfortunately one night is the best I can muster."

He softly brushed his lips against her's. He would miss that touch. He would miss it every night he spent with Lyanna. Pulling apart again, he cupped her face in his hand and smiled a sad smile. "I can give you the king's seal. It will assist you when you try to leave tomorrow morning. They might be strict about who is let in and who is let out, but with that you should have no issues. I have not been crowned officially yet, but I will be by noon tomorrow." Why was he talking about her leaving? These were the last moments they would spend together, and he was wasting them on a conversation he did not want to think about. He quickly changed the subject. "Stay here tonight. At least I know you will be safe with me." If they rose before dawn there would be plenty of time for her to return to her chambers with no one around to see, so long as she was careful to avoid any guards. The mistake of not placing sentries outside his door had turned out to work in his favor after all.
 
The throws of their passion had not been anything that she could have ever imagined. Never before did she ever even begin to think that she would be able to have these feelings for someone, nor did she ever believe that someone would reciprocate those feels and even show her in such a sacred dance. She never thought that she would be able to know that it would feel like to be loved by a man so loyal, or even any man for that matter because the last time she had felt this loved was... Never. Yes, her family had loved her and she had loved them but this was different. This was so much stronger, something that swept through her entire body and did not leave. She did not want it to leave. But yet she could not help but wonder if this was really real, if what she felt was real, because it was hard to think that she knew what love was when that word had not been uttered to her in any sense since her father died. Years of feeling like she was worthless because of her title had been washed away as whispered confessions were sung as they had settled into their rhythm and showed that they truly did care. No man had ever made her feel like she was worth something like Avram did. Not even the man she had laid with before. That night had been a pathetic excuse. And while she knew that she would regret this night as she had that one, she knew it would only be because now it would be harder for her to leave without remembering this night. It would be so much harder to leave Avram, and it would be harder to know that he was going to marry another woman that was not her.

As they finally settled and sated their needs of passion for one another, Myla clutched onto the man that she laid with, her head pressed against his chest as her arms were wound around him. She didn't want to let go, but from the way he held her she doubted if he wanted the same. But it would have to be severed eventually, as well as the connection that they had made, and his words only solidified that. She did not want to leave his embrace, nor did she want to leave this bed with this man yet everything had to come to an end at some point. There was this sort of desperation that settled in the pit of her stomach that cried out to her to not lose this because she knew she would never have this again but it frustrated her to know that she would unable to sate that want. Life wasn't that fair, especially not to her. Life never worked the way one wanted it to and it was a sad fact to face.

Her breathing had calmed as he spoke and as he continued to run his fingers through her hair she couldn't help but lean her head back so that she could get a better look at the Prince. This would be the only time she would see him like this, but at least she had been able to see it once in her life time. She would remember it for as long as she could. She would rather not see him alone as well in his cambers, because what if the culprit who poisoned his father was out to get him next? What if the culprit was waiting for the right opportunity, such as during the night when he would be asleep, before he struck to take the life of the Prince? Myla wanted to tell him her worries over the matter, however before she had been able to utter the words his lips were placed over hers again and it calmed her for just that moment. Her body relaxed as she seemed to sink into him a little more before their lips were parted again and he started speaking of her leaving. But while he gave her a sad smile, she could only give him a frown as she turned her eyes to look away. So she really would be leaving tomorrow morning? But perhaps that was just best, because after this night she would not be able to stand being in this castle, in this city, on the day of his wedding. She wouldn't be able to handle the notion of it. And while she would like to think that it would be best to leave sooner because then it would be easier for the two of them to part ways, she knew that it was a lie. It would be just as hard no matter what.

She was going to have to tell Ser Ector, and even Larcin if he had been informed of the change since the King's death, that their plans had changed once again and that they would be reverting back to their original plan. How many times would their plans change before the actions were made? There would be questions thrown towards her, such as how she had even been able to obtain such a letter from Avram, but she knew that she could not utter any word of their own joining tonight. Not even to the ones she would be traveling with. They would just have to understand and trust her, even though the worry of looking too suspicious to others would run fear down her spine. But if she had the King's seal, then it would be all the better for her. And Avram was now going to be the King; if soldiers were to be sent after her once she left, wouldn't he be able to stop them because his word was final with all matters? It was almost a little bit of a relief to think such a thing, however she could still not deny the sadness and fear, and it even showed in her eyes when she peered back at Avram, though a surprise had come to her at his notion. For her to stay for the night. It was risky, but hadn't this entire night been a risk? Spending this night with him would not be any more harm to what they had just done. Hopefully Ser Ector would be there in the morning so they could leave as quickly as possible.

"I will stay. And I will know that you are also safe. Thank you, Avram." She rubbed random patterns along his back before she leaned up to give him a lingering kiss before she pulled back to rest her head against his chest. This is all she really wanted. And throughout the night more whispered words had been spoken between the two, however their topics danced to their past and of the troubles they had gotten into as children. They reminisced of their past, all to just avoid the topic of her leaving in the morning. She didn't want to remember it. Not right now. But eventually the wariness of the day had grown too much for Myla and she could no longer keep her eyes open. But even as sleep started to consume her, she still held onto him.
 
Avram blinked at Myla with disbelief. She was going to stay to protect him? In his mind the reasoning had been the other way around. But it made sense that a woman of her strength would feel empowered in protecting a man, especially one of royal birth. He let the thought flutter away when he felt her kiss once more. It was difficult to avoid thinking about how they would have to separate once morning came, but Avram had an easier time with it when they began talking about their days as children. He recalled their adventures fondly, remembering his punishments for every time they were caught, which was most of the time. But the few instances in which they got away, like when they snuck into the armory and accidentally knocked over three racks of short-handled spears, were the ones he chuckled at that most. In that particular incident Myla had warned him multiple times that it was dangerous and they could get in serious trouble, certainly not the first time she had done so. But in the end she let him sway her into excitement, just as he did tonight. History repeated itself in the oddest ways sometimes. Avram would not have minded if it was repeated for a third time a decade from now, but he knew that was a foolish thing to consider.

Their whispers eventually ceased when Myla's eyes flickered to a close and deep sigh told him that she was drifting into her subconscious. Despite all they had gone through, everything she experienced while alone in the world, Myla looked as peaceful as a spring meadow. He planted a tender kiss on her forehead and cradled his head over her's. "Not even distance can break this," he whispered, only half expecting her to hear it. Finally sleep took Avram as well, and he let his tight grip relax comfortable around her torso.

Though he would not remember his dreams in the morning, Avram found peace in them for once. But he did find one that was less than friendly and all too familiar. Myla wore the same dress she had when coming to his chambers. But they were outside in the courtyard. Her face was somber and Avram was sure she had been crying. But at his approach that sadness turned to anger in a heartbeat. Her eyes seemed to blaze with fury. He pleaded with her to forgive him, thought not entirely sure what he had done. He tried to declare his love for her, but that only seemed to make it worse. Suddenly she was no longer wearing that dress, and replacing it was an elegant silk gown with golden threads, the crest of the Auverys emblazoned at the breast. A ring of fire surrounded her, and Avram knew how this would end. "You betrayed us," were the words that came from her mouth, though he only heard them faintly, for he was already sprinting away. He would not have a spear stuck through him this time. Before he knew it, Avram's dreams reshaped themselves again, and he was riding on his black stallion through the Wandering Woods. Myla rode beside him on a brown mare, laughing and giggling like a little girl. The memory of the previous dream had already faded into nothing.

Morning came, and with it a seemingly endless pit in Avram's stomach. Myla was leaving, a moment he knew was coming but did not actually want to acknowledge. The sun was still hours away from illuminating the city, but Myla would need all the time she could get if she and her party were to escape without issue. The King's seal had been placed in his chambers months ago, though he could never use it, at least not until he was crowned. And while that would not take place until later today, he did not expect anyone would take issue with the doctrine. The word of a prince who was on the verge of being crowned king was as good as the word of the king himself. Myla awoke soon after he did, and his heart leaped at seeing her smiling eyes upon him, but then sank just as quickly when he remembered he would never see them again. Unless of course Avram lost this war and had his throne taken. If he did not die in the process he would flee to Altiman as well. But such a disaster would break his spirit. He would be as good as dead, not the same man that Myla stayed with this night. He doubted he could be as strong willed as her in the face of losing everything.

Avram had to examine the corridors from his doorway as Myla was redressing herself. He did not want to risk her accidentally running into any guards on her way down to her own chambers. Two came around the corner, and he sent them to fetch Yaryk. That would give them ample time to sneak Myla out before anyone could see. Having to be so illusive reminded Avram of their old shenanigans again, having to sneak around the castle hoping no one would discover what they were up to. He turned back into his room and stared wondrously at the woman. Even though she had not groomed herself yet, he would not deny the beauty he saw when his eyes took her in. Embracing her with a firm grasp, Avram whispered, "Don't look back. It will only hurt more. And be safe. I would be devastated if the woman I loved found her death far away from where I could stop it." He kissed her warmly, knowing it would be the last time he ever tasted that sweet sensation.
 
She had no dreams that night. Only voices that rang through her head that sounded so much like her family. Telling her that she had made a mistake that she could not reverse, telling her that she seemed to no longer know or understand who she was because she wanted so much more than she could ever have and because she had laid with a man that was to be wed in a day. But what happened could not be reversed, and she would no take it back for the life of her even though she knew that it was wrong. For once in her life she wanted to have something that she could not and she had that night. But unfortunately those were the thoughts that first entered into her mind as she roused from her sleep that morning. When Myla opened her eyes to see Avram staring right at her she could not deny the flutter in her heart, nor could she stop the blush that crept across her cheeks for that one second. He made her happy and her expression showed it. Her heart screamed the feeling at her, but her thoughts were telling her otherwise. It made her wonder if all people, both men and woman, had these thoughts when they committed such adulterous acts. Is this the way her father felt when he had been caught in the act, regardless of the circumstances because whether or not it had been his entire fault he had still done something to sever the trust that he held with his wife that he would likely never have back.

Myla almost resisted the act of having to unwrap herself from Avram's hold and from out of his bed, however her legs seemed to move on her own because she knew that it was something that had to happen. Her eyes looked over to the still open window that Avram hadn't closed for the night, and she could not help but wonder if their woes and sighs could have been heard during the night. She wondered if the walls would suddenly grow mouths and mimic the words that they had spoken to one another when they believed their words to be safe in the confinement of his chambers. It was a silly thing to think, however she could not help but let the thought cross her mind as she started to dress. She made sure that her body was in no way near the door when Avram peeked his head to look out to make sure that all was safe for her to leave. When guards walked by she froze as she heard his command to them, but when he had come back into the room, herself fully dressed by that point, she could not help but let her mouth hand open slightly with unspoken words. These would likely be the last words she would ever speak to this man, and these would likely be their last moments together. She swallowed at the thought before his arms enveloped her body again, and she wrapped her arms around him snugly as she listened to the words that he spoke. "I will be. I promise." Her hands moved to cup his face as they kissed for their last time, their touch lingering between them even after they parted. She knew that she would always remember the feel of his lips against hers, as well as the feel of his entire being with her. "I will dearly miss you, Avram. Make sure that you keep yourself well. You will be a good King as I said last night. It will just take time. Remember that." She took his hands in hers one last time as she gripped them tightly and pressed them against her chest, her heart thudding quickly. "Good bye." She whispered those words before her hands parted from his and she stepped towards the door after he had given her the King's seal. As she opened the door she turned to give him one last look and then turned away with the door closing behind her.

Oh, how she wanted to just walk back in there. Oh, how she wished to have just a little ounce of stability in her life, one that Avram could give her. But it wasn't meant to be and it was only then that Myla realized it. Quickly her legs moved down the corridor, the halls lit with light from the fire of the torches, her head ducked as she headed down the stairs quickly. No one was around. That was good. Her and Avram were not meant to be, no matter how much they wanted it to be so. She was not mean to be Queen. He was not meant to be her husband. If it was all meant to be, then it would have been so, but it wasn't. And a pain came to her chest as she knew that it was true.

When she made it to the East wing of the castle, there were still no people walking around. She had been able to avoid the guards that she had heard traversing the halls. At least, she figured, those few years of her having to sneak around with Avram to try and avoid trouble was being put to good use. But when she neared the doors of her chambers she stopped short and her face paled at the sight of the guards that were placed in front of it. So Ser Gerold really had brought sentries to be posted at her door, four of them to be exact. Did they know she was not in the chamber? Maybe not. But she must have made a sudden sound because one of the guards turned to look in her direction and take a step to turn and look at her. There was a shocked expression on the man's face as he looked at her, but after taking a breath Myla weaved her fingers through her hair before she approached her door. "Do not be alarmed; I have done no treacherous acts against anyone." They were all looking in her direction now, and she could not help but feel the pressure of knowing what happened in Avram's chambers. It almost drowned her. "I was in the courtyard all night, pondering on my own thoughts. I had lost track of time..." But were there not guards keeping watch of the courtyard? Would they not have sent her back to her room had it been true? "You all can leave; I do not need your protection any longer."

Regardless she did to stand there to see what their responses would be, and instead walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Her breathing had gotten a little heavy as she leaned her back against the door, the weight of everything finally crashing down upon her. What had she just done? Yes, it was a night that she would never forget filled with excitement and love, but to was expense had she just let those feelings show? And as her hand clutched onto the seal that she knew that she had to get out of here. Now. Otherwise something was bound to come out. Her things had been brought up to her chambers yesterday that had been kept in the servant's quarters when she had been stationed in there. Everything was kept in a rucksack that she traveled with and as she walked over to it and knelt down on the floor to open it she looked through the things she had in there. Two tattered and worn dresses and a cloak that she owned, a small pendant her father had given her as a child, and then a few gold coins that she had been able to save. It wasn't nearly enough to get over over seas, but hopefully Ser Ector or even Larcin would be able to help with that. Thinking of them, she had to find them. Ser Ector knew that she would be requested at the training grounds before dawn with Ser Gerold. Surely he would want to be here during the time since he wanted to be her sworn sword and protect her. And if he wasn't there yet surely he would be there soon. And Larcin was bound to either be on guard now or sleeping or resting. She would find him eventually.

Too many things were running through her mind, so many things that when she heard a knock on the door she quickly stood and flinched heavily. She quickly tucked the seal into the rucksack Who could that be, and so early? But it had only been her handmaidens, coming to get her ready since she they had known she would have to be at the training ground before dawn, much like yesterday. "Yes," Myla spoke, trying to bring her resolve and control back to her being. "But be quick. Ser Gerold has many things to do today which is why I must be there early." Except she would not be there that morning. He would be left there to wonder where she was, more than likely. And with haste they worked. None questioned why she was in the same garb she had been in yesterday, nor had any words really been thrown around as they got her ready. This would be it. And as soon as they had left because she had sent them off again so that she could head to the armory quickly she was left by her lonesome again, much to her thankfulness. But she grabbed her rucksack and pulled the cloak out before she wrapped it around her shoulders and tied the strings around her neck. Would this not look too suspicious? She suddenly decided that it would be best to not wear that around. She could put it on right before they left the walls of the castle. She tucked it back into the rucksack, held it in her shaking hands, and then headed to the door before opening it. The guards she had sent away were gone, surprisingly enough. She took a deep breath to calm herself, to bring back to steel resolve she normally carried herself with. The confidence of a noble, the confidence of an Auvery. She had to act quick and find the people she sought after.
 
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