How well do you fit your Western gender role?

[Lady Sabine]

Looking around at Iwaku, I see that we're a pretty diverse bunch. A lot of people, perhaps even the majority, are comfortable playing characters of either sex, that may or may not fit their assigned gender role too well, or that break the sex/gender traditions in other ways.

That makes me curious- how many of us, the people sitting behind the computer, don't match up in terms of personality and identity all that well to the bodies we're in?

Now, I don't want to start a fight or a debate, so let's not argue or try to decide what's better or worse. This is just for curiosity, shits, and giggles.

For the purpose of answering these questions, I'll define Western gender roles:
Males are expected to be masculine. The masculine gender is the more forceful one. Leadership and ambition, especially in the workplace, are associated with the masculine gender. Athletics and STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) are the stereotypical pursuits of a masculine person. Masculine people are expected to be logical rather than emotional. They are the ones expected to break tradition, leave the family group, and go do new things on their own. If you were predominantly a STEM student and/or athlete in school, moved far away for college/career (to a school that didn't have a strong family tie), want to get ahead in your job before/instead of having kids, and don't like "let's talk about how we feel!" conversations, you are the stereotypical masculine person.

Females are expected to be feminine. The feminine gender is the less forceful one. Compassion and nurturing, especially concerning family and children, are associated with the feminine gender. Arts and Liberal Arts (especially language, nursing, social science, and teaching) are the stereotypical pursuits of a feminine person. Feminine people are expected to be more emotional than logical. They are the ones expected to follow tradition, stay with the family unit, and sacrifice their own personal achievements for spouses and children. If you were an artsy and/or non-STEM student in school, chose a college/career close to home (or one with strong family ties), are more focused on family and children than a career, and usually initiate emotion-based conversation, you are the stereotypical feminine person.

 

[Ochalla]

*me looks at roles and flushes them all down the toilet*

Knee jerk reaction. I'm the girliest girly girl who loves Science and has started her own business, based on squishy individualism and don't have kids because I'm too damn picky when it comes to guys!

*flushes a second time*

 

[Aine]

Let's put it this way; whenever I choose a gender neutral nickname on an internet discussion, 90% of the participants automatically peg me as a male. I've had guys accusing me of pretending to be a girl, for god's sake. (It eludes me why would anyone want to do that in the first place as it's a pretty boring way of trolling when you're not even discussing anything gender-specific, but yeah.)
Aside from being attracted to men, I don't really fit the feminine stereotypes. I have an emotional capacity of an average log; it's always been this way for me. I remember going to hospital for a long time when I was about... six years old. My whole family was in tears when we had to say our farewells... Except for me. I said goodbye calmly, told them they were wasting their time here and that they should go home as they can't help me anyway. Looking at ti back, I was a fairly creepy child :D
My interests are also traditionally masculine. Floor-ball, hockey, martial arts, videogames, boardgames... Yeah, I realize the last two overlap with the definition of a geek, but being a geek is also seen as masculine, at least where I come from.
I get a lot of criticism for how I behave - especially from my father who apparently wanted a little princess for a daughter and neither me nor my sister fit that criteria - but I'm happy with myself. Hell, I love myself. *waves the narcissist flag*

 

[LunaValentine]

Don't really want kids but I wanna be close to my parents, why? Because apparently I'm the only one who gives them BOTH presents on birthdays. I don't care about most of the rest of my family but eh. I'm heavy into computer science and I love to work with my hands. Yes I am emotional but when it comes to major decisions it tends to be gut then rational. I have to reason things out before I feel comfortable with buying things. So I kinda fit but kinda don't. I'd say I'm half and half because I can hang out with the guys with no problem, having tons to talk about...but I can usually hang out with girls........as long as they don't bring their damn boyfriend!

 

[Lady Sabine]

As far as I can tell, the friends and SOs we choose are fairly independent of our gender/sex alignment... I didn't include it for precisely this reason. There's just so many variation- some manly men like hanging out with other manly men. Some like hanging out with girls- tomboys or girly-girls. Some girls stick together, both tomboys (me and my bff, represent!) and others. Then there's the stereotypical group of traditional girls and their gay male friend (and, of course, then there's me and my bff and our straight guy friend).
It just seems to be a really mixed bag. Having guy/girl/masculine/feminine friends doesn't seem to be a defining trait of any identity.

 

[Peter Feels]

I'm very masculine according to your description and personality tests I've taken often say I am significantly masculine, so I would tend to believe that. I have no qualms against RPing as a female. I have nothing against people of any gender or sexual identification and I feel that as we advance further in our human history (both socially and technologically) it will matter less and less.

When it comes to significant others, I think you should be open with yourself and like what you like. It'll make you much happier and more fulfilled in the long run.

 

[Smo]

I'm feminine, I love dolling myself up but I love doing things that would be considered masculine too. I had the typical problem that people automatically assume I'm a man from how I write and handle situations, apparently? I guess my internet presence is masculine or somethin'. So I guess I'm 50/50.

 

[Fluffy]

I've been a tomboy all my life. So much so that my mom suspected me being a lesbian until mid-high school. I didn't like girl toys, or girls. I only wanted to hang out with boys, play with video games, be in the dirt, and look at comic books. I like short hair cuts, I wear baggy men's clothes, I despise make-up of all kinds, and I only wear dresses for the hot summers when I can't stand having pants on.

I don't ignore what's feminine about me. I have so much empathy that, according to my mom, they couldn't watch the news around me. Reason being, when there were reports of death, rape, abuse, and etc. I would cry a lot, and sit there to reflect on the victims' pain. I was always carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders; it took a long time to learn how to deal with it. Now, I feel like I'm fairly balanced. Also, I prefer to think with my head instead of my heart, but I let my heart speak where its applicable. :] So far I don't regret where that's gotten me.

I have a baby, sure. I gladly put most of my time into raising him, cooking, and cleaning because my boyfriend's the one who works. Someday maybe we'll trade roles and not care about how people comment on that. I don't do most of the domestic stuff because of my sex. I do it because it's what seems fair to me. And when I hear a baby cry, you can bet that I'll watch out for the source of the crying so I can be aware of whether or not the poor dear needs someone. Because I am a mother above all things! <3

Based on all this, I'd say I'm 50/50. I'm happy with this. It allows me to relate to people of all sorts, even the girliest girls and the manliest men. An interesting note, though: a lot of people who meet me online think I'm a gay dude at first. Made me think back to my friends in high school, who claimed that I am a gay guy in a woman's body.

 

[Kylulu]

I identify as gender-fluid, moving across the spectrum as I go. There are days where I am very much a stereotypical female, embracing all aspects of western femininity with open arms. (Except children. Can't stand children. Want nothing to do with them.) And then there are days where I'm on the other end of the spectrum. And then there are times where I'm milling about in the middle, not really identifying one way or the other.

If I had one complaint about it, it'd be that my body doesn't shift with my gender. There are days where I agonize over wanting a sex change, but I know full well that somewhere down the line I'll want to switch back :/

 

[Lady Sabine]

If I had one complaint about it, it'd be that my body doesn't shift with my gender. There are days where I agonize over wanting a sex change, but I know full well that somewhere down the line I'll want to switch back :/

Amen! I am the exact reason sex changing should not be easy or cheap. I would be switching every other week. O.O

 

[Seiji]

I have abandoned the very idea of "masculine vs feminine".

They are constructs that we have developed as a culture, that has persisted through the decades, and has, in my opinion, harmed the very idea that is to be human. This construct is the very foundation of the problems we face within sexuality as a whole; it is the root of men hating themselves for being feminine, of women being restricted to their classic, traditional roles, and being attacked when they do not pursue them. It is the root of men being ostracized for embracing things like dance, and song, or art and beauty. They are pussies for not being into football, and women who like hockey are suddenly dykes. It is the very root of women being cool for being into guy things, and being a bitch for being "high maintenance".

Why do we hold onto such a thing, if it harms us so? Do we love labels so much that we are willing to gash a scar fresh on the face of our whole society every day?

Why must men be aggressive, hide their emotions, and be into sports or competition to be considered men? Why must women be girly-girls to be considered beautiful, be forced into wearing certain clothes to be considered a woman at all?

Why can't these broad "gender" defining traits just be, well, human traits? I am not masculine for making oaths and keeping them, that just means I am a man who has honour and integrity. I am not feminine for being in touch with my emotions, and writing poetry for someone that I love, it just means that I am aware of what I feel, and that I enjoy expressing it. I am not masculine for enjoying competitive sports, and feeling a thrill when one person is victorious over another, it just means I covet that which is victory in the face of adversity.

We need to get rid of this whole concept. It is crucial for our evolution, and it will absolutely heal the many afflictions which plague our society.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Hmm... Let's see... I don't think I fit the feminine roll perfectly, but some thins match up.

I am going to school to be a teacher because I like to nurture young minds.
I do prefer traditional things unless the logical is more efficient. I prefer to work smarter, not harder!
I have been sacrificing my happiness for others for years now.
I am very compassionate and prefer to talk things out.
Sewing and writing are skills I posses...

Oh my- I fit into the mold Q_Q
Honestly, I never think about this type of thing. I thought I was more out of the mold than that. I like to wear nice clothes but don't favor dressing up. I have never worn makeup except for when my mom put it on me for my senior pictures in high school. Really, there's nothing to set me much apart. Well then... *walks away with head down in shame*

 

[Lady Sabine]

We need to get rid of this whole concept. It is crucial for our evolution, and it will absolutely heal the many afflictions which plague our society.

This isn't a debate thread. Whether or not gender roles are accurate, applicable, or necessary is irrelevant.

However, since you seem so aggressive about it...
Getting rid of gender won't heal anything. We can ban the words, stamp out every attempt to publish them, kill everyone who dares to mouth the words- but that won't kill the idea. Gender is an intrinsic part of the human identity. Every culture has gender. It provided important social structure that is less important, but not completely obsolete, in today's world. If gender was a cultural construct that defied natural behaviors, why would there be feminine men or masculine females at all? It would be easier to just conform if gender was a choice we got to make. But the fact that so many individuals choose to break the mold proves that it isn't a choice, it isn't voluntary, it isn't something that society presses onto us.
What I believe you should be focusing your pent-up aggression on is the arbitrary decision that having a penis makes you masculine while having a vagina makes you feminine. Sex-gender roles are much more flexible than Western standards currently hold to.

On a related note I think your concept of evolution is fundamentally flawed, unless you think that killing/sterilizing everyone with "gender genes" is a viable option.

 

[Shokkou]

I don't match up with a lot of what people say are "masculine" traits. If my Psych and Soc classes are anything to go off of, I'm more feminine than masculine although I do have some traits that fit the masculine category. When I was in basic most of the guys in my bay thought I was gay because I was far off enough from the gender stereotype.

 

[Seiji]

words

Having a penis makes you a man. Having a vagina makes you a woman.

Everything else are human traits.

Do men have a natural tendency towards aggression? Certainly. Do women have a natural tendency towards nurturing? Absolutely. Classifying these things behind tags of manliness or womanhood is old-world thinking however. To continue to do so would simply be detrimental for growth. Non-aggressive men should not be viewed as an abnormality, nor should nurturing be viewed as the domain belonging to women. We observe every day that this is the truth, yet we continue to say it is not. Men born less aggressive than others are still made fun of, and women born without a desire to be soft or nurturing to others are called ice queens.

y u do dis, hoomans?

 

[Lady Sabine]

arbitration

I think you should probably see yourself out now. This is not a thread for picking fights.

 

[Vay]

I'm trans, 'nuff said!

 

[MattyIce]

I'm a male. I enjoy sports and I'm rather aggressive and competitive and blah blah blah. I used to have long hair, but I brushed it and took more care of it than most girls I know. Like, I literally bought 6 different brands of shampoo to see which ones would make my hair the softest and the shiniest (herbal essences btdubs). I believe in being a gentleman, and that guys should try hard for someone's attention, but I also watch the hell out of "girly" cartoons. I love shopping. Especially shoes. Dear God me and shoes... But overall I couldn't ever consider myself female gender.

 

[Hatsune Candy]

I absolutely despise gender stereotypes, it's so annoying when people automatically assume they know you really well just because, physically, you fit into a common characteristic. I know it's in human nature to do so, but that doesn't make it any better for people who don't fit in with the given stereotypes. Like me.

On the outside, I'm a straight male. But deep inside, I'm totally 100% feminine. I normally prefer to hang out with females rather than males, because I just naturally fit in with them better and I'm a lot more comfortable around them than I am guys. I guess that explains why I mostly have female friends and why my only real male friend is a Transgender.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

I am both really, and a bit of other.

I hate gender roles because of this exact reason. People are people; I've seen qualities in each gender that the other is supposed to have, yet they do not. Because the mind works differently, and there is still shit we don't know about it. Gender identity is one of those things that we are getting into now.

But to answer your question no, I do not. it explains why I scream like a six year old school girl when i see a spider and try to hide from it because i am too afraid to kill it but i also don't want it in my house. Whoops...gender role again. Pppppft, i don't even think those things exist anymore.