I mean. I for one give somewhat of a flying fuck.
But, my issue is moreso that this is not the place to get help, and part of me kind of wants to convince OP that help is out there, but... I also feel like such attempts would be futile and frustrating, and that I shouldn't bother... which is a shame, because I don't like seeing people dig themselves into deeper holes.
Because, yeah, call me stupid or gullible or whatever -- but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that these kinds of threads are made by people who aren't just attention-seeking and who are legitimately struggling with something, but who are still going about solving their problems in entirely the wrong way.
But, whether it's attention-seeking or not, this thread is still downright uncomfortable to read. >_>