Gotta be said.

[Charlie]

I'm not one for posting my feelings, or even discussing them really at all. However tonight things have really pushed me over the edge with my mum.

There's been a lot of bad and negative things which I wouldn't wish upon anybody happen to me since I was 9, and that's not what I'm focusing on, because that happening has lead me to be who I am today. However, it has affected the relationships I have with people including my mum. I live with my mum, and my parents are seperated.

I'm not exactly in shape, and I'm quite unhealthy when it comes to dieting. I was on a diet which started in September I weighed 207lbs. I got all the way down to 187lbs in a few months, and it was hard work. However, I started to put on weight again over winter. Everybody told me, "Oh it's natural, it happens." So I brushed it off and assumed it was okay that I'd gone back to my un-measured diet and just started eating uncontrollably. I stopped going to 'slimming world' (my diet group) and told my Mum I'd do it at home. It went down the drain quickly, and I just didn't bother doing anything at all. So I put my weight back on.

My Mum however, doesn't help.. She buys me meals with rich sauces, made me a desert last week, Eton Mess. She bought me a curry yesterday, and fish fried in batter with oily chips today... I don't see how it's helping.

Mum likes to drink, and it worries me how much she drinks but she does it and whatever I say would only just cause arguments. However tonight we fought again, because she asked if I was coming back to Slimming World and I said "no." She called me fat, said I had a lardy-arse, said that she wouldn't be able to get me out of the house, and I put everything I see in my mouth. I'm not gunna lie, I cried pretty damn hard. She's done it before, put me down for my appearance, called me nasty names, even cursing at me in the most cruel of ways. Because of my past, I've been able to take the abuse but tonight really did make me feel like the tiniest spec on this Earth.

It's hard to intake, because I'll be moving out in September. Because of the way my mother treats me, I'm considering never speaking to her again. There are the moments when I do love her to bits, but they're nothing next to how she makes me feel at times.

I don't want advice, or sympathy.. I just wanted to let it out in some form.. I don't even know who to speak to anymore. I tell people and they don't understand what my background is so they give advice which I can't really take because of the circumstances. I think the reason this has really pushed me over the edge is because, with little explanation, my Dad did something the same in he put me down, and put his woman before me in the past - so we no longer speak. Mum is the only person I've got now, and not even she shows that she wants me.

Thanks for reading, or just whatever.

 

[Ashaekin]

I'm normally one to give advice, but I have no idea of your experiences. But, it's good to talk about. If you want you could pm me. My mom actually kicked me out this January because she thought her husband, who never wanted kids in the first place, would leave her if I stayed. So I know a lot about bad parents.

 

[Charlie]

Yeah it's really hard, I know if I were in the situation in giving advice for it, I'd have no idea. I tend not to give advice either unless I know the full story of the person. Some people can say things, and not know that it wouldn't work for that person. It's hard. Thankyou.

 

[Wizard Secretary Doxa]

-breaths in-

All I can say is that once you move out things will change. Well, at least they did for me while I was out of the house. Me and my mom never had the best of relationships. Every time she would come back from work she would yell at me for anything. I have 2 brothers and I am the only one that get this behavior from her all the time. It sucks really. So I packed my things and left to a bf house. I stayed there for hmmm 2 months and didn't speak to her until it was my birthday. I decided to be the grown up one and tell her I was sorry and blah blah blah ( really, I wasn't because she really treated me like a slave but whatever) . We were ok after that but I didn't call or visit since I just despised her. Well, then me and my bf broke up and I had to move back. She said 'It's ok you learn that way. We would always be there for you' which is bs because now she started treating me like a slave and a kid again. I turned 18 in January and she still has the nerve to tell me to ask for permission when I go out, to cook and clean, and to babysit my little brother. By this point, I swallow remarks and nasty words for her, and just ignore her.

But moving out changes lots of things! I didn't even miss her! For now, ignore her and do what makes YOU happy.