♥ Gezina's Literary Display ♥

D

DelanieHeart

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♥ Gezina's Literary Display ♥
Status: OPEN INDEFINETLY

Hai :3 Welcome to my literary display :) I'm Gezina and I'm 14 years old. I live in Canada, on the Western side of the country, and writing is one of my favorite things. Below is a few poems I've written.

WARNING: Almost all my poems are somehow dark/negative and/or depressing. I don't know why but I can't write a happy poem; maybe because I'm such a messed up child.

So enjoy these literary works. I'll usually post stories here, but sometimes I may post short stories, or chapters to a bigger story I'm wokring on. Thanks ♥

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A Cutter's Fate

There you are
Smiling at me
Behind a large wall
Pain is hard to see

Every new day
It's a vice
I need a relief
My wrists I slice

The fate I succumb to
Your memories invite
Me slowly falling
To hell in my flight

Masked behind make up
Hidden behind hair
Yet all the pain
I still boldly bear

My room is a shelter
My peace is a boat
Blood drips, blood falls
Feelings keep me afloat

Without nothing I'm useless
With pain I can feel
It fills me with something
Something that's real

So long ago
I remember it clearly
All feelings fled me
I lost my loved dearly

Since then I've been hiding
From the love I desire
I know he is gone
The one I admire

So everyday
I continue to weep
And everyday
I cut in so deep

Emotion evades me
So it's pain I create
The blade is my friend
Holding my own cutting fate

With every soft drip
Of the blood I do fell
I'm hurting so good
Dragging me deeper to hell

Sometimes they tell me
To let it all go
Yet I cannot
Would it be you I still know?

My madness invites
My heart is not hurting
I smile at the pain
My wrists always spurting

I continue to sink
Deeper in this rut
I continue to die
With every new cut

I do not mind
The pain I can bear
And with every cut
I get closer to there

Soon, my dear
Soon I will see
Your lovely blue eyes
Looking back at me

So the knife surges
I change its direction
Straight for my heart
It makes the connection

Finally I'm laughing
Emotions each breath
Finally I'm dying
Emotions during death

The light turns to dark
As I picture your face
My body shuts down
As I picture your place

A heaven so beautiful
I feel your warm gaze
A hell so frightening
I'm lost in this maze

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WHEN I LOOK AT MYSELF
In the cracked mirror of my heart
I can see the fragments
Of heartbreak and pain
And of a very lost girl
With no direction but down

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You know relief has never felt better
Than the beautiful river of red
Which drips from my wrist
To the tiled floor below
And opens the doors of emotion

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A blade had never been so pretty
So majestic or elegant
Than when it was being held in my hand
And pressed against warm flesh
To release the tidal wave I've been holding

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AND WHEN I LOOK AT MYSELF
I see that tall brunette
The one who is insecure about her body
And insecure about herself
That sometimes only a blade can cure it
Only that edge can take away the hurt

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I have the typical teenage angst
My family angers me to a point of no return
A boy drives me to the sharpness
Longing makes me reach for the curse of my soul
And sometimes I'm so confused

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Do I do this or that?
Do I say this or say that?
He loves me, he loves me not?
Are the choices I'm making right?
Who am I really?

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AND WHEN I FINALLY SEE MYSELF
Clearly, from the eyes of others
I see a beautiful girl
Happy, smart and smiling
With no hidden conflicts
That tear her heart from the inside out

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A strong young woman
Who shows not the pain
That is buried deep inside her
Longing for relief
That comes with the price of blood

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The scars on her wrist
Each one tells a story
They couldn't even fathom
If they knew
Because even she can't remember that pain

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AND THEY CAN'T SEE
The fragmented pieces of my heart
And how the secret to its repair
Was lost when it was first broken
With that irreparable damage
Aided by confusion and internal conflict

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The emotions that drove me
To the brink of hell
Equipped only with that sharp blade
A sharp first cut I revelled in
Because I was finally feeling something

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So every now and then
The edge gets a feeding
And the overwhelming sensations
Slither back to the devil
But I still have the scars

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I'm always open for reviewing and constructive critisism and (hopefully) praise. Thanks for reading these poems :) When I write some more I will post them here!

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Ohmigod.. They actually have this emoticon ---> :bananaman: I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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