♥ Gezina's Literary Display ♥ Status: OPEN INDEFINETLY Hai :3 Welcome to my literary display :) I'm Gezina and I'm 14 years old. I live in Canada, on the Western side of the country, and writing is one of my favorite things. Below is a few poems I've written. WARNING: Almost all my poems are somehow dark/negative and/or depressing. I don't know why but I can't write a happy poem; maybe because I'm such a messed up child. So enjoy these literary works. I'll usually post stories here, but sometimes I may post short stories, or chapters to a bigger story I'm wokring on. Thanks ♥ ----------------------------------------------------- A Cutter's Fate There you are Smiling at me Behind a large wall Pain is hard to see Every new day It's a vice I need a relief My wrists I slice The fate I succumb to Your memories invite Me slowly falling To hell in my flight Masked behind make up Hidden behind hair Yet all the pain I still boldly bear My room is a shelter My peace is a boat Blood drips, blood falls Feelings keep me afloat Without nothing I'm useless With pain I can feel It fills me with something Something that's real So long ago I remember it clearly All feelings fled me I lost my loved dearly Since then I've been hiding From the love I desire I know he is gone The one I admire So everyday I continue to weep And everyday I cut in so deep Emotion evades me So it's pain I create The blade is my friend Holding my own cutting fate With every soft drip Of the blood I do fell I'm hurting so good Dragging me deeper to hell Sometimes they tell me To let it all go Yet I cannot Would it be you I still know? My madness invites My heart is not hurting I smile at the pain My wrists always spurting I continue to sink Deeper in this rut I continue to die With every new cut I do not mind The pain I can bear And with every cut I get closer to there Soon, my dear Soon I will see Your lovely blue eyes Looking back at me So the knife surges I change its direction Straight for my heart It makes the connection Finally I'm laughing Emotions each breath Finally I'm dying Emotions during death The light turns to dark As I picture your face My body shuts down As I picture your place A heaven so beautiful I feel your warm gaze A hell so frightening I'm lost in this maze ---------------------------------------------------------- WHEN I LOOK AT MYSELF In the cracked mirror of my heart I can see the fragments Of heartbreak and pain And of a very lost girl With no direction but down <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> You know relief has never felt better Than the beautiful river of red Which drips from my wrist To the tiled floor below And opens the doors of emotion <o:p></o:p> A blade had never been so pretty So majestic or elegant Than when it was being held in my hand And pressed against warm flesh To release the tidal wave I’ve been holding <o:p></o:p> AND WHEN I LOOK AT MYSELF I see that tall brunette The one who is insecure about her body And insecure about herself That sometimes only a blade can cure it Only that edge can take away the hurt <o:p></o:p> I have the typical teenage angst My family angers me to a point of no return A boy drives me to the sharpness Longing makes me reach for the curse of my soul And sometimes I’m so confused <o:p></o:p> Do I do this or that? Do I say this or say that? He loves me, he loves me not? Are the choices I’m making right? Who am I really? <o:p></o:p> AND WHEN I FINALLY SEE MYSELF Clearly, from the eyes of others I see a beautiful girl Happy, smart and smiling With no hidden conflicts That tear her heart from the inside out <o:p></o:p> A strong young woman Who shows not the pain That is buried deep inside her Longing for relief That comes with the price of blood <o:p></o:p> The scars on her wrist Each one tells a story They couldn’t even fathom If they knew Because even she can’t remember that pain <o:p></o:p> AND THEY CAN’T SEE The fragmented pieces of my heart And how the secret to its repair Was lost when it was first broken With that irreparable damage Aided by confusion and internal conflict <o:p></o:p> The emotions that drove me To the brink of hell Equipped only with that sharp blade A sharp first cut I revelled in Because I was finally feeling something <o:p></o:p> So every now and then The edge gets a feeding And the overwhelming sensations Slither back to the devil But I still have the scars ------------------------------------------------------------ I'm always open for reviewing and constructive critisism and (hopefully) praise. Thanks for reading these poems :) When I write some more I will post them here! ------------------------------------------------------------- Ohmigod.. They actually have this emoticon ---> I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ <o:p></o:p>