"Family is all you need"

[LogicfromLogic]

So many good points from the folks above I do not know what I can say that they haven't already, so, instead of advice, I will give you the best thing that I can and that is my full support for you and the offer of an ear when you need it.

The tricks that I have learned about coping with severe trauma aren't that easy to do at first, but they did help.

First thing that I'd suggest is for you to do a hell of a lot of meditation. While the pain won't ever completely leave you for a while, it'll help you gain peace of mind for a while. It's hard to go through what you have been, and I'm sorry that you have been hurt like this. Nobody deserves to deal with situations like these but you are worth the effort to make a better life for yourself.

Like Brovo said, they are not your family. From the sounds of it, they aren't interested in treating each other like family, and you deserve better than them. Are there any clubs around where you live, or if you are in school, perhaps there might be some clubs of interest that you might be able to find yourself in.

Even online, there are people willing to talk to you, and enjoy your company.

Forgiveness takes time, if it ever comes. But don't let yourself hate; it taints the soul and it lets those who hurt you win. I'm not saying don't be angry; this is an emotion that is misunderstood as bad when it is a very healthy reaction. Write everything they did in a journal. Don't go back and read it, just write it down. Burn the page after this, or destroy it. But don't bottle it up as it will fester into something that won't spell out anything good.

My inbox is always open if you need it.

 

[Lawkheart]

Well, you'll do very well with your English if you do move to another country.

I do get therapy but my trauma is both physical and mental, add in I do not trust doctors and getting treatment is much more difficult with me. I am stubborn.

Good night then, I hope you sleep well. And of course we can talk more tomorrow.

 

[Lawkheart]

@LogicfromLogic

Thank you very much for your advice. I've been successful in letting my hate go, but I still hate those people. I won't ever be able to forgive them and I will not let them or their memory affect my life. I am going to live my life and no matter what anyone else in my family says, I will not forgive them or ever let them into my life ever again. But thank you for offering to be an ear to talk to.

If you ever need someone to talk to either, I am always willing to listen.

 

[White]

Well, you'll do very well with your English if you do move to another country.

I do get therapy but my trauma is both physical and mental, add in I do not trust doctors and getting treatment is much more difficult with me. I am stubborn.

Good night then, I hope you sleep well. And of course we can talk more tomorrow.

It is healthy to not trust doctors. You never know if they are after money or really want to help. They need to prove themself to a degree first.

 

[Brovo]

It is healthy to not trust doctors.

Uhh... What? You uh... Might wanna... Rephrase that, considering the entire objective of a doctor is to mend a person's wounds, whether for profit or out of altruism the goal is the same.

If anything, being stubbornly against a doctor's advice really isn't helping Lawkheart here. If they're prescribing a medication, they're doing so with the intent to help her. My advice would be to take the medication in trust of it working, give it up to a month (for the body to adjust to the new inflow of chemicals), and if it doesn't work, then go back to those doctors and report as such. If they refuse to change your prescription/dosage, go find a new doctor. You are under no legal obligation to stay to a single doctor, thus you can always leave and find a new one should your current one be terrible at their job.

Encouraging paranoia and fear is not going to help someone, no matter how well the intentions may be. Lets keep the distrust and disgust on the people who abused her, and exclusively on them. This is part of what I meant by not letting hatred rule your life @Lawkheart because look, you're paranoid of people who spent eight years in post secondary under grueling conditions to train to become specialists to help people just like you! Whether out of altruism or greed the objective remains the same: Ensure the patient gets the best possible care, either for personal reputation (greed) or out of a genuine sense of care (empathy) or a mix of both. Trust me, crawl out of the shell and work with the medical professionals. You'll feel a lot better when you aren't filled with distrust and fear.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

Some wrongs are done to us are unforgivable, what I mean is don't let your life be put on hold. Move forward but reach out when you need it.

 

[Lawkheart]

Encouraging paranoia and fear is not going to help someone, no matter how well the intentions may be. Lets keep the distrust and disgust on the people who abused her, and exclusively on them. This is part of what I meant by not letting hatred rule your life @Lawkheart because look, you're paranoid of people who spent eight years in post secondary under grueling conditions to train to become specialists to help people just like you! Whether out of altruism or greed the objective remains the same: Ensure the patient gets the best possible care, either for personal reputation (greed) or out of a genuine sense of care (empathy) or a mix of both. Trust me, crawl out of the shell and work with the medical professionals. You'll feel a lot better when you aren't filled with distrust and fear.

I have gotten better with that recently, but I still find that underlying layer of distrust with certain doctors. My distrust is due to other trauma I went through as a child and with experiences I witnessed my mother go through. But I am starting to slowly, put that aside just so I can feel better, physically.

 

[Brovo]

But I am starting to slowly, put that aside just so I can feel better, physically.

This is the objective, yes. Just gradually heal, take the time you need, just don't let your hang-ups rule your life and force you away from professional medical aid.