Ekphrastic Poem

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Tegan, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. I'm reading this at a gallery on Saturday, and I'm not really sure if it's ready. Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated. *Bites nails.*


    meph·i·stoph·e·les mi·fep·ri·stone


    bone bleached
    by the sun

    bone smooth
    by water

    I gaze
    into the abyss
    sliced open
    --stitched almost shut

    Nothing gazes
    into me

    I am an unmarked grave

    a white-washed house
    with a body
    in the basement

    only dry
    dead blood
    --the sun-warmed
    earth
     
  2. Last stanza is meh.

    Penultimate stanza is yay!

    Third stanza is goooode goooooode.

    Opening is uuuuuuuuugh... muuurrrrgh....bleeh...




    ASMO'S POETRY REJUMBLE!

    I gaze
    into the abyss
    sliced open
    --stitched almost shut

    Nothing gazes
    into me

    a white-washed house
    with a body
    in the basement

    [insert more good stuff here]



    *has never said this much about a poem before*