Because Apparently, Some People Don't Know How

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Pulchritudinous, Dec 8, 2014.

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  1. Below is a very useful link.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Shower

    Feel free to take this wonderful, informative article and share it with your less-than-fresh peers. I know I'm going to!
     
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  2. I usually stay under the cold water for 30-40 seconds.
     
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  3. Finally! I was always wondering how I could clean myself up. Now my boyfriend won't have an excuse to plug his nose around me anymore! No more stink-prejudice!
     
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  4. Wait, girls sweat and stink?
     
  5. This wikihow site doesn't have guides for getting away with murder or hiding a body. Ugh, worthless piece of shit claims to aim to teach people how to do anything but it doesn't even have basic necessities like that.
     
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  6. You can thank our hair and our feet.
     
  7. phaw! next you're gonna tell me that girls poop!
     
  8. Huh. I've just been cutting my girlfriend's skin off every time the smell gets a little too south of cheese.

    Well I'll be.
     
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  9. But... they.....

    You know what? I'mma let you think that.
     
  10. Nahhh, that wouldn't make any sense. Girls get rid of solid waste matter by recycling it. They just break it down into its constituent elements and use it for various bodily processes. This is also why girls need to eat less food to survive, because high efficiency recycling is neat. This also explains why they've got a bunch of extra doodads like a uterus and breasts: they're actually integral to the process. Guys don't have them so we can't do it, and instead we have to go through the grossness of pooping. It sucks man.
     
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  11. Wait...wait....I'm supposed to do all that at once? Here I've been doing each one on different days. I washed my hair yesterday, today is the day I wash my face, and tomorrow is the day I shave, and the next day I wash my body. I've been doing it wrong all this time?
     
  12. Wat??? WAT!?!?!
     
  13. Huh, I always just scraped the grime off my skin with a razor blade every few months.
     
  14. I feel like there needs to be a HowToBasic video of showering:
     

  15. I read that whole excerpt, and now I want the book! Have you read it?
     
  16. I have, it was beach reading this past summer. It was fascinating, horrifying and just really wonderful to read. It changes the way I view so many works of fiction and RP settings. I can't get the image out of my head of the men withdrawing for after dinner drinks while the women wait knowing they are pulling out chamber pots and pissing while they chat. Or the fact that in Versailles they had to pass an edict that Shit (literally shit) would be cleaned from the halls once a week. Or the count who was so afraid of drafts (and baths, because, you know water is unhealthy!) that the linen shirt he'd been wearing for five years straight took skin off with it when he was finally convinced to remove it.

    If you can get your hands on it, read it!
     
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  17. omg I died a little.

    Totally getting my hands on this little gem! Thank you for new reading. <3
     
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  18. :D I shall include it in the next Convention Guide I write up for my peers.
     
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