Affection

[Gwazi Magnum]

If we're including what type of affection we like or don't like receiving there's something else I need to note.

From my understanding, some people seem to think suddenly yelling at someone in a high-pitched 'teasing' tone is meant to be cute, silly and/or affectionate... DO NOT do this with me.
Growing up (and still now) I've had both my Mom and Sister initiate dialogue in this manner immediately before going into lecture mode, button pushing mode or simply having a screaming fit.
It's a kind of greeting I've effectively been raised to associate with someone about to either get insanely moody or someone actively looking to start a fight, so whenever I hear such a thing now I instantly get agitated and on the defensive.

 

[☆Luna☆]

If we're including what type of affection we like or don't like receiving there's something else I need to note.

From my understanding, some people seem to think suddenly yelling at someone is a high-pitched 'teasing' tone is meant to be cute, silly and/or affectionate... DO NOT do this with me.
Growing up (and still now) I've had both my Mom and Sister initiate dialogue in this manner immediately before going into lecture mode, button pushing mode or simply having a screaming fit.
It's a kind of greeting I've effectively been raised to associate with someone about to either get insanely moody or someone actively looking to start a fight, so whenever I hear such a thing now I instantly get agitated and on the defensive.

I'm having a hard time understanding what you mean by a high-pitched teasing tone. Do you have an example?

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I'm having a hard time understanding what you mean by a high-pitched teasing tone. Do you have an example?

Without verbally giving an example it's hard to describe.

Basically it's the kind of tone someone adopts as a greeting when they say something like "Hey Gwaziiiiiiiiiiii!".

 

[Rain of the Night]

Expressing affection to others? Jeez, I see hugs and physical contact.

No one speaks about how you act with them. See, I show affection like everyone does to my friends, loved ones in the traditional way; kisses and hugs for the girlfriend, hugs, high fives, blah blah blahe with friends/family.

However,

You will also see that I act very differently when I with others, and that is, in itself, a way to demonstrate my affection for others. I can't explain how, but the way I act and talk with people I don't know/appreciate is very different to those I know and are indifferent to and those I love (love love, family and friendship). When I take away my filters, it's because I trust you and appreciate you.

I know, it might sound confusing, but it is what it is.

 

[chillin]

queer stuff

I... It's pretty difficult to explain. I'm still getting accustomed to my feelings, my new thoughts and opinions, heck, even my eyes and body!

My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, or actually, in a long-distance queerplatonic relationship. I've always avoided talking about this in more detail, since I thought people wouldn't understand or would scoff at it (or simply shrug it off as a Tumblr thing), but hey, this is the internet, no one knows me, and I'm content with my feelings on the matter.

A quick definition of queerplatonic;

Adjective describing a relationship which is more intense and intimate than is considered common or normal for a "friendship", but doesn't fit the traditional sexual-romantic couple model. It is characterized by a strong bond, love, and emotional commitment, yet is not perceived by those involved as "romantic".

Aaaaand my gf is aroace.

There's a lot of arguing and fussing over what kind of love is appreciated (in mine or their eyes), and what kinds of affection are acceptable. I let them know I love them by simply telling them or just talking to them about their interests and thinking about the future. They do the same, although in a different way. We talk to each other about or problems and even though we don't always have a solution to them or simply don't know how to respond or comfort each other, we always listen and at least try offering advice. I think listening to someone close to you even though you don't have the answers to their troubles counts as showing affection (at least, in my eyes).

We also shower eachother in compliments, puns, hugs and cuddles (rarely kisses), so that's how we show our affection as well.

It is a relationship based on trust, love and the fact that we can really relate to each other (through our culture, language, history, views, interests, gender, and sexuality).

I don't have a general rule for how I want people to return/show me affection, but if I really care about them and appreciate them, I'd at least expect some appreciation back.

 

[Midian]

I was just talking about something similar with a friend when we were discussing love languages. I usually show affection for friends by either buying them things, or trying to help them out/be there for them. After that, I tend to be physically affectionate in an antagonizing way; poking, messing up hair... One of my friends and I used to grab each other's boobs as a greeting. I do like hugging my friends too, though. In normal ways.

I find my level of affection/comfort usually directly proportionally increases with the number of times I accidentally booty check them.

And there are a couple of friends I'm close enough with to say "I love you" to, although I'm usually only confident enough to return it rather than say it first. I find I like to receive the same kind of affection that I give: people trying to help me, do nice things for me, hug me, or buy me gifts. And before you say "but that's so materialistic, Midian!" basically anything given to me by someone else constitutes a gift. Bottle of water from the vending machine? Gift. Hallmark card? Gift. Shirt you own, but don't want anymore? Gift. Handmade items? Hell yes gift.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I'm not a very affectionate person with most people. My kids are really the only ones that I show any signs of affection at all, and my husband when I'm in the mood (Minds out of the gutter people!) I hug my kids every morning, and when I'm awake I'll give my hubby a goodbye kiss. Usually I just send him off with a 'Bye. Be careful.' Sometimes I'll randomly kiss the top of his head, or his cheek, but even that isn't all that often. I don't like being touched, and I absolutely hate mushiness. Whenever my husband says something sweet to me, I make a smart ass comment and usually ruin the mood. I think he's gotten used to it by now, because we're more like two male best friends than husband and wife. Our displays of affection are mildly insulting each other, and pulling pranks on one another. =/

 

[The Mood is Write]

Hell of a question!

For me, I tend to wear lots of masks. Lots and lots of masks. One mask lets me touch and be touched freely without freaking out, but not... groping and stuff like that. Being asexual means that even among friends, that's too much for me, even just e-gropes.

Among people I start to like, I lose the overly-affectionate mask and have a different one. I'm a little more formal, because I want to be liked. I want to put on a good impression. I want to seem smart. Sometimes I accidentally go too far, and people think I don't like them, but that's not the case.

My next mask comes when the person I'm talking with a lot and I find common ground—love of writing, love of bad puns, even love of (covered) bouncing boobs. I start to open up, and I start sharing perhaps a bit too much, but I still remain very kind and try my best to be considerate.

Finally, once I've known a person for quite some time, and trust them a lot... "HEY [BCOLOR=#000000]****[/BCOLOR] GET IN SKYPE CALL SO I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT PERIOD MISERY!" or "Hey [BCOLOR=#000000]******[/BCOLOR], where's my post!?" I'm crude, rude, and tell WAAAAY too much information, but I also do random nice things and enjoy spending time with my closest friends. We call each other family, we don't care about a whole lot between us, cuz we know our intentions are friendly, even if our words aren't.

What I like, affection-wise, isn't hugs, though. I like being fed, and I like my hair being played with. Online, I like RPing, because to me, that's INCREDIBLY intimate. I also like sharing images, because to me, it's a case of "Hey, I thought of you. Enjoy a laugh/feels trip/interesting 'fact'/titty."

 

[☆Luna☆]

Even after the large post where I thought I dissected my affection well, I somehow missed the most critical way in which I like to receive affection. I like being called cute. I like it way more than I should. If given the option of being called cute once a day or receiving $5 once a day, I'd go with the former. I'm not sure what makes me so fixated on this, but regardless I am.

 

[Mu]

Like a lot of people here I also have a problem with touching but it's fine if we're friends. I usually do some weird shit like poke their cheek or their arm or something, and when I walk with my friends sometimes I loop my arm in theirs, that kind of stuff. I give hugs to friends as well and don't mind if they do, as long as they don't rest their arms on chin on me or something because no thanks. I'm also more bold around friends, just suddenly bursting with 'ya suk' comments or 'omg how dare you' for no reason whatsoever but just because it's turned into this weird ass habit that I only ever do with close people. Reverse affection??

I think I show more affection when I'm talking online, though. I tend to overuse smileys and hearts and I generally sound like I want to talk forever. And yeah, I use terms like 'bb' more.

 

[Falcon]

I am extremely picky about who I let touch me.
To the point that when I've known certain people I didn't know well were about to hug me, I have wondered if I could come up with a legitimate excuse to tell them no fast enough. One of the reasons I hate going to the doctor is all the touching that's usually involved. Here let me poke at your eyes, ears, feel your throat etc.

It's not that I dislike touching, it's that to me touching is something reserved only for people I'm close to. Friends and family can hug me all they want. In fact if your my friend and we haven't seen each other in a while I want that hug and I'll probably be pretty disappointed if I don't get one ^_^ Growing up physical affection was never really displayed in my family so I'm always a little hesitant to initiate it myself unless I've figured out when and in what context it's allowed with a particular person. This doesn't mean that if we're buddies I don't want to give you a hug or something, it means that unless I'm absolutely sure you're okay with it I won't.

I'm not super vocally affectionate either.
"I love you" is something said only to my parents, brother, and rarely a super close friend or two. I never say it to someone unless I mean it. I have said "we love you" as in a collective "everyone here appreciates you" to a friend having a bad day, but to me that's different.
"I appreciate you", "good job", "That's a great idea", "I really like ____ about you" etc are other things I might say occasionally to show affection.

One of the main ways I show affection is time and handwritten notes.

If I'm willing to shuffle my schedule around to spend time with you that means I really value your friendship. Double points if I'm the one asking you to spend time with me. If I poke you on Skype, text you, e-mail you, Facebook with you on any regular basis we're probably good friends, because those things mean I'm using my time to talk to you. If I call you at all (assuming there's no long distance/roaming fees to factor in) that's a huge thing because I have hearing trouble so phone calls are a big thing for me.

Handwritten notes are similar. I put a lot of time and energy in to writing those out. Even if they don't look like much when you get them. I'm a terrible speller, so I'm constantly checking as I write. I think a long time about each phrase, because its not on a computer I can't go back and redo it. And odds are the note itself is on stationary or a card I spend a decent about of time trying to pick out to fit the person or situation.

I receive best in the same way I give. If you voluntarily spend time with me, it means a lot. If you've ever sent me a note or card, odds are I still have it. If we're at a point where I'll let you touch me you definitely count as a friend.

 

[Hatsune Candy]

I'm not a very affectionate person, like, at all, and by that I mean I'm not very good at displaying it. I suppose that's only to be expected of an introvert with really bad social anxiety. If I do find myself showing affection, it's usually unintentionally or indirectly; typically it's too subtle for any normal person to pick up on. Although, my level of openness and willingness to take time out of my day to talk is, for the most part, a pretty good way to measure the amount of affection I feel towards someone. Naturally, I tend to be far more affectionate (perhaps more than what is necessary) over the Internet than IRL, it's just easier for me that way.

 

[Oblivion666]

I'm somewhat hard to predict. I can either be nice to you, or act nice while secretly wanting to scream and give you a Mortal Kombat fatality. I usually show my affection with wrath and anger, and all the offensive things I can say, or be actual angry at you. Only time I'm truly just non caring about you if I don't show kindness nor anger, and give almost monotone responses. Although anger is usually my telling sign that you are cool with me. Right @Gerontis ;D