Since a few people have shared, I think I'll share a little bit about me.
The most natural way I show affection is through spending quality time and physical closeness, but it is put in conflict with a natural sense of caution with getting close to other people. I want to show people that they are meaningful in the way they find most natural, but I also tend to have a lack of confidence that I understand the feelings of others. As I become closer to someone, this feeling goes away, and I'm able to behave in a more genuine and carefree manner. For this reason, I tend to be more affectionate with people who are straightforward about their feelings.
When I receive affection, I like it the same way I'm best at giving it. I want to stay close, talk about things that are on my mind, and feel wanted. But like the way I show affection, it has an element of duality. When I'm not comfortable with someone, I like to pretend that I just want really loud and outgoing fun. It isn't that I don't enjoy this kind of fun, I do a lot, but it is also an easier kind of affection to receive. It is less personal. Knowing that someone can have a good time because of me is a lot easier to swallow than accepting that they appreciate me for who I am as a person. I think, to a degree, I lead people away from the kind of affection I seek out the most. I do it out of a feeling of not belonging, and not wanting people to make me grow fonder of them so casually. It is like, I only want to receive profound affection when it comes from someone I can share the feeling mutually.
My old signature described the concept pretty well as a sentiment, if not a bit melodramatically. "It should be a crime, having a heart wide as the open sky, without a soul to fill it up with." I feel like I want to love literally everyone around me because I'm just the sort of person who wants to get along with everyone. I feel this way not because I'm seeking validation, but because I see something beautiful in everyone, even if I don't fully understand. And when I think about how my differences in interests and lifestyle separate me from the vast majority, I feel a sense of profound loneliness. I'm extremely grateful for the few close friends that I have, and it shows in the way we express it to one another. Even in being a friendly person to everyone, it goes up to another level with friends. When I was younger, I could hardly separate the feeling of friendship from romantic feelings since my actions towards them were so similar.
So if I had to wrap all these thoughts up in a nice little bundle, I'd say that the mechanisms of affection, for me, aren't nearly as complex as the motives. I'm a cautious and considered person who masquerades as merely a loud and shallow person, even though both are a part of how I express affection. My affection seems to have a dualistic nature, but at its core, I just want to express and foster mutual understanding, trust, and belonging through affection. This view of affection is why it is my default desire for everyone I come into contact with.
