Re: Writing Exercise: About Your Lover
My mother was never a model for a successful and love filled relationship. She was, however, the perfect model for what NOT to do in a relationship when you have children.
Rule 1: Do not put your love before your children. Especially if that love is the third one of the year.
Rule 2: Do not allow your love to become the ruler over your children. [Insert the latter of rule 1 here.]
Rule 3: Do not forget who you were before your marriage. Love makes you do silly things but its not love if you toss the aside after getting bored of their sex.
Rule 4: Do not have your children keep your dirty little secrets away from the current husband. Especially if they are plans to run away with another man. That
tears children apart more than you know.
Rule 5: Lastly, do not blame your child for your current situation. Do not tell your child they are hideous. Do not ever tell your child they will amount to nothing.
My mother met most of her men online. The one she met, that was worthy, she threw out on the street after dragging him 3 states down to live with us, was met in the real world. He was lovely, knowledgeable, and trustworthy. You could talk to him and ask for advice without any consequences. And most importantly, what I remember most, is his motto.
"The most beautiful things in the world are flowers, women, and children."
I used to hate online dating, thinking it was ridiculous and that the only people who had met online were desperate.
However, my husband changed my mind on that. We met online about 8 years ago now on a site called IMVU. However, I hated him at first. He was about as annoying as
this guy. But the more he came around, I saw he was trying to change, so we began role playing together and became good friends. But then tragedy happened, for anyone who has a friend online. Things changed and we were not allowed to speak as often so we reverted to messaging back and forth. Sometimes months went by before one or the other got a response. Things at my house became.... to say in the least... apocalyptic. There was new 'order' in the house with the dictator being the forth husband of my mother, who happened to be a sexist, racist, closed minded, man who worshiped the 'extremist' Christianity where beating you children was an acceptable punishment. After that, we lost touch and I hadn't heard from him. Somewhere, somehow, I do not remember, we got in touch again through email this time. Me, being paranoid as anything, still kept it a secret and hidden the best I could because I wanted to be nothing like my mother. However, a year after emailing, we got together and started dating. He lived in New York. Upstate New York. Not the city. I lived in West Virginia. Yes, we have shoes, plumbing, and can read. Well, dating brought us to texting each other and then eventually we video chatted. Just emailing and texting alone came at least 5 years after we met. We dated for 2 years, and then we finally got to meet. His parents brought me along to a family gathering, the first time I ever met ANY of his family or him. It was the best first date I ever had. 4 months later, we got engaged. 3 months later, we had a courthouse wedding. And now, we are 7, almost 8 months into marriage and it is lovely.
One thing I did not mention. He is my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first marriage, and the first time I have EVER been happy.
Our first kiss? It was at Busch Gardens on the trellis cars going around the park... during the fireworks.