Your childhood and your kids

[Minibit]

Is there anything from your childhood that you want your kids to repeat someday? Anything you want to do differently?

• Tv/computer restrictions were something I disliked at the time, but I'd definitely want to make sure my kids played outside, talked to other kids in person, and developed an imagination
• Having to ask for a snack is something I'd repeat; it taught me to plan meals, what is and isn't ok to eat all the time, and lots of other important stuff
• I knew how to make a meat 'n taters dinner when I was twelve. My kids are definitely learning how to cook and plan a meal early, boys AND girls.
• I was taught how to save money from the moment I learned the concept of it. "Do you want McDonalds, or do you want Disneyland?" "Do you want a new toy, or do you want to have dinner?" Money is a finite thing, and you have to choose what to use it on.
• Birthdays are A BIG DEAL. Mom sometimes wonders if she shouldn't have done this, because none of our boyfriends or friends have made as big deal of them, but I love it. Your birthday is the day that everybody who loves you celebrates your life. Everything is done your way, you get your favourite meals, anything. Abuse of power results in loss of power, but that's the only catch

There are some things I wouldn't repeat though

• I would teach my kids about sexual health. I was taught nothing about sex except not to do it (and I was homeschooled, no sex ed class). Everybody should know how to take care of their genitals and recognize an infection. Everybody should know the signs of STDs and all the ways they are transmitted, how birth control works, and for girls, what a Pap test is and why it's important.
• I will not teach my kids to follow any one religion; I want them to explore all of them and decide which, if any, make sense to them.

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

If I ever had kids, I'd make damn sure they listened to me when I give these lessons. I didn't, and damn do I regret it.

I'd teach them that they can't go it alone. It doesn't matter how strong they think they are, they can't take everything life has to throw at them on their own. And I'd tell them that it's not a bad thing. That they don't need to be afraid to ask for help. They don't have to suffer anything alone. There's always someone they can turn to. That, no matter how bleak things are, no matter how desperate things seem, it's not something they have to face alone.

I'd teach them that getting older doesn't always mean growing up. I'd tell them that it's fine to still be a big kid on the inside. It's fine to like cartoons and 'kiddie' games. It's fine to have fun one a tire swing. That there's no shame in squeeing over a show, even when you're old and crusty.

I'd teach them the difference between stubbornness and tenacity. There's a fine line between knowing when to fold, and just plain giving up. I'd tell them that they can't solve everything, but it's not about the problems you can't solve - it's about the solutions you do have, can have, and will have.

I'd teach them not to be me. To learn from my mistakes. I've made some poor decisions in life, and they're going to stick with me wherever I go. I don't want them to have to go through that.

---

Of course, seeing as I don't ever want to have kids in my life, I'd probably just be the cool uncle/uncle-like figure that plays Mario Kart with someone else's kids and shows them how to make a killer omelette.

 

[Minibit]

This is turning from 'what from your childhood do you want your kids to experience or not experience' to 'here's how to parent' lol

 

[Diana]

Things that I loved about my childhood and would totally do with my kids:

Learning to cook from my grandmother and mom and dad. O_O My grandmother and dad especially would let me help prepare things and helped me learn how to cook for myself and others.

When times were good, we would have special family days. My dad would take us to the park for an hour to get all hot and dirty. Then we'd go swimming for the rest of the day to get cool and cleaned off. XD Sometimes we would all go out to eat at a nice restaurant. Or we'd all go to the nature preserve and take walks in the woods and eat sammiches by the lake. These are things I STILL want us to do as a family.

Though I HATED it at the time, mom wouldn't let us watch a lot of TV. c____c she made us go play in our rooms or outside. I am pretty sure if we hadn't been forced to go entertain ourselves somehow, we wouldn't have developed such a strong sense of imagination OR be fine with just sitting by ourselves doing our own thing.

READING. READING LOTS OF BOOKS.

Things I HATED about my childhood:

We never got an allowance. >:[ We didn't have assigned chores, and when we DID do them, there wasn't any sort of encouragement or regulation about it. I am pretty sure if we were forced to have a habit of doing our chores, I would be a lot better at doing them now. >>;

No holidays. ;___; That sucked. It's why I love them so much now, cause I really get in to them and love making a big deal about them.

 

[Melpothalia]

I had a bad childhood. :P

I'd probably do the opposite of what my mom did while repeating what my dad did.
I'd care for my kids, defend them and raise them with good ideals.

And I would never, under any circumstances, do something like abandon them for weeks at a time to shoot up heroin.

My mom was never much of a mother.

 

[Lady Sabine]

I hate kids and would never have them. But, as the awesome aunt (including my bffs' kids) I will pass along my parents' wisdom of

• If your kid is too young to handle losing the game, they're too young to play the game. My parents never cut me any slack on Risk, Monopoly, Bullshit, Easter Egg hiding... and I got really good at things really fast because I learned to play it the real way, not the watered-down kiddie version.
• Religion is just faith, like the faith you have in your spouse. But you wouldn't choose a spouse before getting to know them and looking at your options, would you?
• Sex is a human thing, not an adult thing. Be honest and open about it and kids wind up less freaked out, and also recognize creepy people/things when they see them.
• Science, reading, learning is cool. And you're never too old or young.
• Cats are the perfect pets for kids since if you treat them wrong, they scratch and bite until you get it right.
• Travel is necessary to be an enlightened and aware human being.
• Hate people because they were purposefully malicious to you or someone close to you, and for no other reason. No hating because of sex, race, religion, etc.
• Cooking isn't a hobby or a special occasion, it's a daily thing. Eating out happens once a week or less, and pre-packaged food is cheating.
• Bribery is an acceptable means of pleasing two people at once.
• Time and money are the same damn thing. That lunch wasn't $5, it was thirty minutes of your life down the drain. Similarly, spending an hour arguing with a butthole on the internet is effectively wasting $10.
• If you promise 70 and give 80, you're amazing. If you promise 100 and give 90, you're a piece of shit. Always commit to less than you think you'll be able to do, that way you're usually an overachiever.
• "on time" is five minutes early.
• Fly with only carry-on luggage whenever possible.
• Feminism is part of daily life, not a once-a-year event.
• Friends who are so close you think of them like family are the best of both.
• Until you break trust, complete trust is given. I don't have a curfew, a budget, any restrictions on who I hang out with or where I go or what I do. Actually, I don't have any restrictions at all on anything I do. But if I fuck up and my parents need to get involved, that trust is gone FOREVER and I can NEVER EVER EVER get it back. I spend less money, come home sooner, hang out with better people, and am generally a more responsible human being than any of my classmates with actual restrictions on behavior because I don't want to lose my beautiful, beautiful freedom.

Then a few things I wish they had taught me.

• No one gives a shit if you're right or not. Either compromise or admit you're wrong, even if it's a lie. 98% of the time this will save trouble and people will like you better, even if it turns out you were completely correct. My parents were good about making me right about things, but not good at dealing with people.
• You can cry and get your way, but that doesn't mean you should.
• You have to learn how to drive. I really wish I could. :c
• Casually referring to atheism, bisexuality, gay uncles, the actual names of human genitalia, or organic food in small town Texas. You want to get bullies? Because that's how we get bullies.