I'm not happy at all, I'm almost never happy...in fact right now, I'm really sad... because, all I see right now is my friend Jessica in her favorite blue dress. She has this somewhat pieceful look on her face... and it hurts me... it hurts me to see it.. Because it's not real, she isn't really feeling anything, she's dead. She's in her favorite dress, in a coffin, and I swear it's all my fault. I'm crying because I hate it, I can't move through life the way it used to be, because it won't be the same without her.. Her laugh, her smile, all gone because I messed up, because I let one little argument break us appart FOR ONE MOMENT! The memory flashes across my sight over and over again. She's gone forever. My tear fall into a puddle in my hands, as I watch them close the coffin, but I choke up and launch myself at it, "No... Jessica! This isn't real! Please!" I pleaded, not caring how dumb I looked. Not caring that a whole churchful of people saw me broken down like this. I needed her more than they knew. She was the only person I'd felt had understood me. I whispered, "Please... don't leave me here all alone..." "Mar.. please..." my mother came up from behind me touching my shoulder. I shrugged her off violently. "NO!" I sobbed. I wanted Jessica back that's all I cared about. Mar was short for Marcy... I'd always liked my nickname better than my real name. I felt less like I had a name that screamed cheerleader. Cause I wasn't one, I was a geek, a nerd, someone who read books and played videogames all the time, and had very few friends. And now with Jessica, it felt like I had no one left anymore. Why couldn't I have stopped her. Not let her leave? Why?