His heart was thundering in his chest, and the adrenaline was only mostly to do with the thought of seeing Maryana again.
He hadn't' been expecting her letter, though she had consumed his thoughts from time to time. He had been struggling and failing to gain any new political friends or allies in his quests to free himself from the chains of his rank forever. The only impact he had seemed to make on anyone was that lovely night full of dancing, and it was his fondest memory ever since he had come to this dreary little land away from the sea. Everything on the water had a structure and routine that he understood. But coming to mingle with high society had drowned him in rules and expectations that he never seemed to get right. Insulting families one way or not insulting the other enough. He was horrible with it, and seemed to completely lack the fluency he needed to succeed in this environment. He felt himself sinking under the pressure. Down an down into the void as his commission slipped further out of his grasp- and threatened to slip tighter around his neck.
Mariana then, was like a breath of fresh air. She was smart, electric and beautiful. He wanted to chat with her for hours and do a little more besides, no matter what the people around them might say. His bold declaration to visit her had been a spur of the moment akin to a drowning sailor spotting land and aiming to swim for it. A last surge of strength to hold onto some kind of connection in this place. He could only pray that it wasn't simply a mirage or some kind of trick of the light. He didn't have anyone else to turn to, though he only realized he could turn to her at all recently.
Sneaking into an estate however, was a trifle more difficult than sneaking out of it. Alexander had taken great care to duck and dodge past a few servants, and had spent a few harrowing seconds close to discover under some bushes. The end result was that he was admittedly less presentable than he hoped. His pants had been ripped by the bush, and he felt himself far dirtier than he had anticipated. Neither were a good option for making a considerable second impression. More concerning still was that he had been running a little late. He was a punctual man, and he felt the clock tick down moment after moment as he continued to slink through the grounds to find the woman who would light up his world. When he finally saw her, he felt his heart slam into his throat. All his clever words and prepared phrases melted in his mind as he gazed upon her beauty. A greedy look in that garden ,taking her in where none others could watch him doing so. Looking around one last time, he called out her name.
"Marianna!" Was that too much? He loved saying her name, how it rolled on his tongue. "I...miss Lambert." He dipped his head respectfully, before finishing his run to stand before her. "I am...very sorry for my delay. I assure you, I strive to be punctual in all things this most of all. But I was waylaid by the estate and the darkness. Your lamp was my lighthouse- very forward thinking of you." Dropping to one knee, Alexander took her hand. Rough and calloused hands hardened by the sea gripping hers- how soft they were. He wanted to hold them for longer. "I...can you find it in your heart to forgive my tardiness? I will understand if you are furious- I should have left sooner."
He would understand, but he heartbroken. But at least he'd be able to hold her hands a few seconds longer.