Warning: Some terms used in this post are probably ones that you are not familiar with and you won't find them in a dictionary orencyclopedia. See my blogs for definitions. So as this year opens, I made a few resolutions based on what happened last year and what I succeeded at. When last year opened up, I had a boyfriend whom I loved and I thought loved me. The meatship was at perhaps the worst place it had ever been but I had a boyfriend who loved me and for that reason, I made a resolution to repair the meatship as best I could before having to go in to a meat mechanic. To that end, I started a diet, or as many would prefer to call it, a lifestyle change. Thanks to my school schedule though, I found it difficult to find the time but once May came and I had the time, I started a workout program. As last year ended, my relationship was over. My ex cheated on me and I wound up doing some things that I don't so much regret but could have done better. I definitely handled it better than many. I spent most of my waking time with my friends, keeping my mind out of itself so that it wouldn't devour itself. The times when I was alone, I did my best to focus my mind on things internally apart from my ex. Because of that introspection, two things came full circle. Please keep in mind that both of these started long before my breakup and neither had said breakup for the impetus as anything more than me spending more time with them. The first is that I worked with my tulpa, Mishra, to become fully independent and to be able to switch with me [Yo. I'll see some of you if you ever get a chance to play with me. Literally, me. I run in RPs as myself and unfortunately, so many of the RPs I see that I feel I could do don't support me. Bastards.] Don't mind him. Maybe invite him for a 1x1 if you're interested; [I might put up my bio on his blog for you guys to see tomorrow or the next day.] The second one is that I began to identify as my kintype; I've suspected for awhile that I was otherkin and in the past few months, I've know that I am nekomatakin. Watch my tails please. Most of you will probably have a detrimental thing to say about that. Frankly I don't give two shits if that's how you think. At the end of last year, I realized that the meatship is in the best condition physically than it has been since I was in middle school, albeit about a foot and a half taller. I intend to further capitalize on that change this year and keep restoring the meatship. I've made a lot of friends since the breakup, mostly thanks to the two items above. Emotionally, I'm a lot more stable than I was and I'm actually looking forward to this year. It's going to be interesting. I hoping that...maybe I'll find someone this year, someone worth giving my heart to. I've repared it and even though it has a few scars it's a beautiful heart and one day I hope to give it to a man who deserves it and will take care of it. So this goes out to everyone who feels like their life is a roller coaster, who just broke up, who had their S.O. cheat on them, or who just needs to hear a good tale of someone getting past things. Things get better, and I know people will tell you that all the time, but what they often fail to tell you is that you have to make them better yourself. Things don't get better unless you want them to and you work for them to. At times it hurts, and it feels like your mind or heart are being ripped from your chest, but pull them back, pick yourself up and keep going. You can do this. I promise. Time and your effort will heal those wounds. [And if push comes to shove, make friends. Good friends can help you through anything. Don't ever push people away, especially the ones who love you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help, don't shy away from anyone who can help. Parent, teacher, therapist, insane alchemist in a fucked up man's head, talk to someone about what's going on. You never know who can help you start to feel better about yourself and from there, you can start feeling better about everything. It all starts with you. And ends with acid. In a bottle. Or poured on top of you. Maybe. Depends if I'm feeling feisty. Maybe I'll just experiment on you.] That's enough out of you, you'll scare them. So that's my happy whatever this is. Hope to see you guys when next year comes along. Happy RPing.