Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
The Desperado Five


Welcome to Outer Space; the new frontier, in an era of lawlessness.

Yes. It's one of those kinds of tales…. A Spaghetti Western set a few hundred years after humans learn the art of space travel and warp speed and stuff like that.

Here's the low down; in the ever active space colony of Las Vegas Lexicon, two warring mafia have been stirring up some monkey business. There's the Yellow Brothers on one side and then the Southern Cross on the other. They own 5 of the fanciest casinos this side of the Milky Way.


Rumors are going around that one of the two gangs are going to be moving a large shipment of jewels and cash to a little moon somewhere about a billion miles away, leaving the casinos largely unguarded.


This is were our space-faring fugitives in search of a treasure come into play. They are all members of a ship called the Desperado and are 82nd Spaceborne veterans recruited to act as bounty hunters and your normal "men with no name" kind of deal. 


Recently they have been hired by casino owner Matthew "Angry Duke" Kennedy to Las Vegas Lexicon with a plan to rob the vaults of the Yellow Brothers and Southern Cross casinos in one night.

With dangers such as assassin maids, space pirates, and fellow bounty hunters can the crew of the Desperado successfully rob all five casinos in one night and make it to the safety of Mars?

House Rules:

House Rules:

Basic Plot Idea: You are a member of the Desperados and you are out to pull off the greatest heist in the galaxy.

RP Style: Expect to encounter many "Western" themes mixed with science fiction and heist films. As well, also expect needless slaughtering of bad guys and other Quentin Tarantino-like weirdness.

GM: Rory

Number of Players Allowed: Five

Number of Characters: One

Ask my Maid Mandy! But seriously though, you have any questions or there is anything I have left out, just go ahead and ask me (in this thread or PM)

Character Sheets:

Well, if you've gotten through my entire badly-lain plot and you still want to RP, here's the sheet.

Name: What your character is called...

Age: How old they are.

Appearance: Height, weight, body type, hair color/length, eye color etc. If you post a picture please add a short description as well.

Weapons option: You can arm your characters with weapons. Nothing that is magical or so powerful that it makes you impossible to stop. It can be anything from a gun to a large hand held weapon.

Personality: How your character would react to situations. Are they nice? Arrogant? Rude, etc.

Past: Add a short past - where they grew up, perhaps how they got to be where they are at the start of the RP. Why they are on the side that they are on.
Name: Major Andres "Redhawk" Thornton

Age: 26


Andres stands at exactly 6 feet tall and weighs 153 lbs. He has long black hair and generally dresses like a fictional Indian.

Weapons option: He owns a futuristic Henry Repeating Rifle that fires off 13 shots of lasers in a minute giving him an edge over a lot of the standard military guns found in the colonies. Of course, he has a scalping knife but it is more like a bowie.  He has also has a gold-plated Luger pistol, he is an excellent shot.

Personality: He is the bad ass of the group. As an officer in the armed forces, he as a decent amount of combat experience and loves scouting a head of his men. Andres often times pretends to be more warrior-like and cunning than he really is. An avid trickster, he often times will be the cause of much annoyance to his allies. Finally, Andres is known for reckless driving, and has been arrested for undue care and attention at least fifty times.

Past: Deciding that living on the Moon was a waste of time and sick of flying around in a rez ship (literally think of a ship held together with Duct Tape), he joined up with the military. After fighting in some war, he saved up and bought the Desperado. Knowing a few other friends in his former unit, he rounded them up and now runs a bounty hunting business.  
I am TOO LAZY to post a bio here, so I am posting a LINK here!!
Hmm…I've never done a Sci-Fi and this one just kind of stuck out and it's always good expand ones' horizons, so here goes nothing. I hope this works. I'll make any necessary changes should you require it.

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Name: Sergeant Ozunu "Oz" Funakoshi

Age: 23

Appearance: Oz stands at 5'8" 168lbs of lean muscle, medium length black hair and deep brown eyes. He still wears his old tactical reconnaissance uniform of an all black body suit molded specifically for his body (think Snake Eyes in "G.I. Joe"). Each "muscle" of the suit was injected with a liquid titanium compound allowing for max mobility with moderate armor. Oz also wears his military issued retractable helmet, a neck brace fashioned between the shoulder blades of the suit that form a full face helmet of the same metal in the muscle pads of his suit.

Weapons option: A custom built bow-gun shaped in likeness to a crossbow that can fire a laser "arrow" or "bolt". It's not as loud as most laser based weapons which made it ideal for his role in the military. Since most of Oz's missions took him up close and personal to his enemies, he became proficient in hand to hand combat and close-quarter weaponry, so he carries a tactical knife as well as a short sword.

Personality: Oz is extremely quiet, and rarely will speak out of turn. He does what he's told when he's told and has been that way with Major Thornton since the war. For Oz there is only the next mission in life. His loyalty to the Major and the Desperado are absolute and he has it in mind to ensure their success by any means.

Past: Oz was assigned to Major Thornton's unit back when the war started and ran reconnaissance missions for him and the military. Whether it was hacking into computers to get any vital information, or just surveying an area getting a body count, Oz did it quickly and quietly. His sense of duty and loyalty to the Major are perhaps part of his Japanese heritage, whereas he felt a connection to his ancestors through serving someone. Although sometimes mocked as the "Pretend Ninja" of the unit, no one could question Oz's efficiency in battle and success rating in his missions. After the war Oz attempted to stay in the military seeing no other use for his skills until the Major called with the Bounty Hunter proposal. Still loyal to the Major, Oz signed up with no questions asked. <o:p></o:p>
I'm too tired atm to make the profile, but Rory, you know I'm in, I reserve the brute/juggernaut of the group. Mr. Clean's moment to shine is upon you!
Female member #2 reporting!

Name: Morrigan de Sarde but the Major gets away with calling her Morry

Age: 26

Appearance: Morrigan is a curvy 5'6", long legs, wide hips and a small waist, weighing approximately 120 lbs. She has fair skin from her life on the Moon, long, jet-black hair and dark blue "sapphire" eyes. She's fairly athletic and flexible enough to give any gymnast a run for her money.

Weapons option:
For long range, she owns a laser handgun to get out of tight binds and she's not a bad shot, either. Her preferred methods of attack are hand-to-hand combat or the belt around her waist which is actually a whip in disguise. She also manages to hide a pair of wicked looking curved knives somewhere on her person and boy, does she know how to use them.

Personality: Looking for a girl who plays nice? Need a shoulder to cry on? Begging for an ear to listen to you? ... don't look at Morrigan. She's a backstabbing, two-timing, narrow-minded, self-serving female who flirts with anything remotely male but never sleeps with them. She's violent, stubborn, ruthless and merciless. She's just as likely to kill someone than rob them blind and she's done plenty of both before. The more loyal members of the group have questioned whether or not she means to betray them all at the end of the job but the Major is either confident she's on their side or has an ace card up his sleeve.

Past: Morrigan de Sarde was born on the wrong sides of the track on the Moon, her mother gone and her father not much use for anything. She learned to take care of herself, got a job, bought herself nice things, led a boring life. Then one day, she grew up, caught the eyes of a few men and realized working was good and all but having someone else buy you things were even better.

Morrigan never left the Moon but her behavior has landed her on someone's "naughty" list and it's only a matter of time before someone appears to collect on her bounty.
Name: Shane Knox

Age: 27

6'5", 210, very muscular build Everything else is apparent.

Weapons option: One thing that makes Shane unique in this day and age is his lack of guns or blades in combat. Can he use them? Sure, he even served in the military with Andres. However, he tried to use his gun as little as possible, for the sole fact that he hates bloodshed. Sure, he'll beat you to a pulp with his hands, but when he does that, the bloodshed is minimal. Blades and bullets both make you bleed, hence he avoids them.
With that said, he does use 1 gun without distaste. His sniper rifle. Having the rare trait of being able to focus in a zen-like fashion, controlling breath and movements near perfectly, time slowing down to a crawl. The best sniper in the 82nd Spacebourne, he's the one they call upon when his services are needed, and he never lets them down. Now, why does he not have a problem using this gun? He's too far away to see and smell the blood.

Personality: Shane is very protective of his friends and allies, having been that way since he grew up with 6 other siblings, being the oldest and largest of them all. He's also relatively intelligent, but doesn't flaunt it, it only coming out in more private conversations. Reliable, he never lets his allies down and will sacrifice himself for the greater good.

Past: As mentioned above, he grew up as the oldest of 7. His large size helped him protect his siblings should anything happen, making him protective naturally. His best friend up through high school was Andres, joining the military with him and had his back during the war. Now they're together on this heist, and he plans on having everyone's back once again.
Lol, Mr. Clean is an ally in a Wild West RP, I like it.

All these characters are approved and now that we have five people signed up, I am now ready to start this RP soon.

I am no longer going to accept new characters if they are posted in this OOC. Please PM me and I'll considered new characters on a limited basis.
Since not all the characters are recruited yet, can Morrigan's bounty be the second job they have to do?

Maybe she supposedly stole something from someone and s/he wants it returned and hires the team. But she distracts them with a bigger bounty on the very person who hired them because the person is a criminal wanted by the law?
Yep, that sounds good to me.
Sorry i haven't posted yet, busy with work and keeping up with my other Rp's (or trying too) These past couple months though life happened to possibly diagnose my mom with lupus so as soon as i can get things back together here i will post
No problem. Thanks for keeping us informed. We just need to yell at Diana and Mr. Clean to post. Either that or it'll be yet another Alarice-Rory RPoo.
Yeah, Kaze ain't alive. >:[
Well, Mr. Clean has been eaten by a hungry furball... And we all moved on rather quickly.
Poor fellow. He will be missed. In other news, I already wrote up a replacement for him, if you don't mind.

Name: Enrico Domingo Roberto Martinez (Rico for short)

Age: 32

Appearance: Rico is a small man considering the armaments he carries, standing at 5'10" and weighing a little bit short of 170 lbs. He's a cocky man, walking in a perpetual stride with a goofy grin on his face. Due to being of Mexican descent, his skin is tanned, his hair is black, and he has brown eyes. Underneath his oversized poncho (he's Mexican, you know) is where he hides most of his weapons, including his rocket launcher.

Weapons option: Rico believes in making a good impression on people, and what better way to do that than with rockets from his guided rocket launcher? The missiles follow the directions of the navigation device on the side of the launcher, controlled by the man himself. Aside from that, he carries duel submachine guns which, while usually held in two hands, he prefers to carry with one hand each. Because accuracy is for less manly men.

Personality: Rico considers himself to be a suave secret agent, with a woman hanging off one arm and a one-liner hanging off his lips. In reality, he's arrogant, egotistical, and overly concerned with looking cool. This makes him difficult to talk to without wincing, especially if he's got a deathly horrible one-liner thought up. Regardless, he is fiercely loyal to an employer, almost scarily so, and is true to his word. If he makes a promise, he will do his best to fulfill it, at risk of both life and limb, whichever goes first.

Past: Rico is a mercenary for hire. In his early life, he started out as a gun merchant, but had to sell his business after running himself into debt via gambling. With no money, and a heap of armaments, he connected the dots quickly and turned himself into a hired gun, loading every single box of ammo, weapon, and even his comfortable office chair into his personal one-man spacecraft.

Business was good, and for the first few years, he enjoyed a life of prosperity that only a professional mercenary could know. In fact, he was so prosperous that he decided to take up gambling again. That would prove to be a problem, and as the Desperado Five came in to the casino where he was playing at, the man was in the process of losing half of everything he had. He would need an out soon.
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Welcome aboard Palonis.
Yay! I get to stalk Palonis for posts now!