Stupid Jokes

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Thomas McTavish, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. The title says it all: post a really stupid joke.

    What did the English detective say when asked what kind of rock has different layers?
    "Sedimentary, my dear Watson."

    I've been told to go to my room and think about what I've done after telling a joke so many times; I got this :cool:

    Two chemists go into a bar
    The first one orders H20
    The second one says "I'd like some H20, too!"
    The second chemist died.

    What did Hitler choose on his multiple-choice test?
    Not C

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?
    She had no arms

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Not Sally

    Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?
    Well, well, well.

    Did you hear about the hole in the fence around the nudist colony? Local police are looking into it.

    Why does Dracula have no friends?
    He's a pain in the neck

    Why did Timmy get hit by a car?
    Sally was driving

    Why was the chef fired?
    Abuse; he beat the eggs and whipped the cream

    Why do chicken coops have two doors?
    Because if they had four they'd be chicken sedans!

    What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
    Beer nuts are $2.50 and Deer nuts are under a buck

    What's brown and sounds like a bell?
  3. How did the black kid get into Harvard?
    Hard work and hours of studying- duh.

    Why did the black kid get on the basketball team?
    Dedication and good attitude- why else?

    What do you call a black man who flies an airplane?
    A pilot, you racist.

    (these work best whenever the conversation has already turned to offensive jokes)

    How do you say "Rodney King" in Spanish?

    (Disclaimer: heard it from a Mexican-American cop)

    Why was the offspring of Lassie and a cantaloupe sad?
    It was always a melon-collie(melancholy) child.

    I'll probably have more this afternoon. XD
    • Love Love x 1
  4. What did the pasta say to the tomato?
    "Don't get saucy with me."

    (The power of popsicle sticks never cease to amaze.)
  5. Why did the turkey cross the road?

    It was the chicken's day off
  6. What did the fox say
    No really what did a fox say

    Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

    If i shot you and you shot me who would die firsts

    1+1= window

    My mother always told me to pee my pants when you have to go pee
    She also told me life is like a boxes of chocolate
  7. What do you call a group of crows that doesn't stay together?
    Attempted murder.