slipping into her sins

[ibbrandi]

"Amazing grace, how great thou art," the choir rang out through the church walls of Blessings, TX. I kept my eyes down on my hymnal, pushing the glasses up on my nose when they slid down, and twisting a strand of hair between two fingers. It seemed like a normal day, but little did I know this day would be the start of a whole new life. I tried to sing at almost a whisper seeing as how I sound like a howling cat. The only things that got the pleasure of hearing my voice were the shampoo bottle I sang into like a microphone in the shower, and my steering wheel in the car. When the singing of what seemed like a million songs was over, everyone took their seats and my father made his way up to the stage.

"Good morning, let us bow our heads in prayer," he started off just like every Sunday morning. I couldn't see him through most of the sermon because Mrs. Jenkins decided wearing a giant hat on the front row would be a good idea. It didn't matter either way though. He practiced his speech every night at the church when we would all come up here to set things up for church the upcoming Sunday. On a little paper labeled "notes" at the top I doodled a little flower and a fox until my mother caught me and took it away.

I knew she meant well, my mother, she was very set in her old ways and believes. Both of my parents were, and they taught me to be the same way. Dressed had to be below the knee and no v neck t-shirts. Basically anything showing too much skin I could forget about. My boyfriend, Jake the football hero, would agree as well. Most of the other boys in school were pigs, but not Jake. Some how my parents happened to match me up with the one boy that was in their image to a T. Sometimes I wondered if they just paid him to be my boyfriend. At the end of the sermon there was another prayer session, then everyone stood and made their way to the door. Mother and I walked up to my father as he talked and laughed and prayed with who ever would come up to him.

"Look Avril, there is the new girl in town. You should go say hi and be nice. I bet she would love to have someone to show her around school tomorrow," she said with a smile playing on her face. The girl looked nice enough but I just wasn't sure. I am very awkward around new people and quiet from what I have heard. After much bickering and nudging, mother won over and I was walking slowly down the aisles toward the girl. I smoothed down my dress as I walked and fixed my glasses for the thousandth time.​

 

[Minibit]

Gwen had fidgeted, sighed, and daydreamed her way through the sermon, folding her arms and pressing her dark lipsticked lips together during the songs. She didn't know any of the words anyway, she only stood up because her grandmother in the seat next to her had stuck her bony old lady elbow into her ribs when she stayed sitting. She was pretty sure she would have nodded off at one point if the kid in the seat behind her didn't make a pastime of kicking the pew.

After the service, she shot out of her seat as if she'd been pricked, only to find her exodus impeded by her grandmother not only walking slower on her shorter legs, but needing to smile, shake hands with, and wish God's blessings on every other person between their middle-row seat and the sanctuary door.

Even once they were out in the common area, Gwen found herself tapping her foot by the door, tugging at the sleeve of her shirt. She'd had to change five times that morning before Gran would let her leave the house. She ended up having to dig into her winter clothes to get a pair of chunky heels, a denim skirt that ended about eight inches above her knee, with solid black leggings underneath and a black and white long-sleeved shirt. She had two leather cord necklaces around her neck, one of them a twist of cord and chain, the other a pendent necklace with a pentagram, a cross, and an ankh dangling off of it. She'd only gotten to wear that one after a lengthy argument about the positive symbolism of pentagrams, and a history lesson in how the modern cross symbol evolved from an ankh.

Sighing, Gwen glanced across the crowded foyer; this church was composed entirely of old people, little brats, and the most conservative looking teenagers she'd ever seen. She wondered how many of them went to her new school as she shuffled a hand through her pixie-cut red hair.

 

[ibbrandi]

Avril passed back and forth arguing with herself about what to say and how to approach this girl. They looked the exact opposite, but Avril thought she remembered hearing something about the girl's parents passing. Or maybe she was daydreaming? Taking a deep breath she walked up behind the girl in black and cleared her throat. Before she could have a panic attack and run away, the girl turned her head and Avril smiled the best she could.

"Um, hi. You're new here right?" Wow, way to be cool Avril she thought to herself. "Nevermind," she finished with a nervous laugh and reached for a strand of hair. "My name is Avril Davis. I can show you around school tomorrow if you would like?"​

 

[Minibit]

Gwen turned only her head and gave the girl a long look from head to toes. Do-gooder. She seemed awkward, at the least, giggling and fidgeting

"Ya." She confirmed, about her new-ness. She stuck out a hand when the other girl introduced herself. "Gwen Harvey. Yes like the burger place. You go to Cottonwood high?"

She mentally cringed as the question left her lips; this wasn't that huge a place, how many high schools in the same vicinity as this church's attendants could there be? And would she have offered to show her around if she didn't know what school she went to? Bravado and keeping her cool, she was good at, thinking through and filtering what she said, not so much.

 

[ibbrandi]

Avril smiled and nodded a little too fast. She knew she shouldn't be so enthusiastic about school but that was the one place she was away from her your parents and could be a little more herself. She knew she didn't exactly fit in with her other cheer friends but she could never quite put her finger on the why part of it.

"I could give you a ride if you want. I have cheer leading practice really early though. Were you in any clubs or sports at your old school?" If she had to guess the answer was probably no, but she was never good at reading other people anyway. Just about that time Avril's best friend came skipping over to her and grabbed her arm.
"Oh my goodness Avy, Mark Statin was looking at me during sermon today!!" Avril smiled at her friend but couldn't muster up the same excitement. "Beg your parden," Anna said turning to look Gwen over and wrinkled her nose. "I didn't see you there."​

 

[Minibit]

"It's cool, I can drive my gran's car." She paused, listening to the nervous question about clubs. "Not really. I had a sort of band thing going on though-" she replied, pressing her lips together as she was cut off by yet another strange new girl.

"No worries..." She said quietly, repeating her handshake offer to the disgruntled girl. "Gwen Harvey, and you are...?"

 

[ibbrandi]

"Anna Stacy," Avril's friend said very matter of factly. "Anyway Av, are you still coming over later to work on that project?" Avril smiled and nodded, bidding her friend farewell as she took off out the door. Avril turned back to Gwen and mustered up a smile.

"Well it was nice meeting you. I have to go now. See you at school tomorrow?"​

 

[Minibit]

Gwen nodded. She would have lied that it was nice to meet Anna, but wasn't given space to. "Sure, sounds good." she agreed, managing a smile. "Uh, one thing?" she added, before Avril could turn around. "I don't really know anyone in this, well, state. And I'm not really the best at putting myself out there, so if the offer stands I'll take you up on that showing around tomorrow."

 

[ibbrandi]

Avril nodded and gave the girl a half smile. "Sure! I get out of practice at 7:30. I will meet you by the front doors." And with that she ducked out the door and chased after Anna.

 

[Minibit]

"Sounds good" Gwen agreed, unsteadily raising one hand to wave only to lower it when Avril was gone already.

"Did you make a friend, dear?"

Gwen jumped at the sound of her gran behind her, glancing to verify the voice's identity before looking back at the door as Avril disappeared through it. "Yeah, maybe" she said, absently.

"So are you done saying hi to everyone yet?" Gwen asked, snapping back to the present.

"Yes, dear. Are you ready to go?"

Oh my sweet god I was born ready

Gwen thought, adding a mental eye roll for good measure. "Yep. I'm driving." she added, stalking towards the door on stilt legs without looking back to see her grandmother speed-stepping to keep up.

"Oh, but - ah - dear, you drove on the way here - Hello Maude yes - ah I can drive on the way back." She got a chance to catch up as Gwen held the door, tapping her toe inside her sneaker.

"No Gran, it's fine, I'll drive, I like driving." she said, walking down the shallow steps from the church entrance. They'd only parked a few spots from the door; benefits to having a senior citizen as a passenger: priority parking.

The car beeped as she unlocked it, holding the passenger door open as Gran made her way with her little slow lady pace, and her short old lady legs, and an everlasting fascination with everything between the starting point and destination.

"Besides" she added, swinging into the driver's door and holding out her hand for the keys, which plopped into her hand with pleasantly surprising promptness, "You can't swat at me while I'm driving, it's dangerous."

She turned the engine over, stretching her arm straight across the passenger seat to back up into the lane. As she pulled away, her hand made a pitstop on the way back to the steering wheel: the purse she'd forgotten in the car earlier, and more specifically, the pack of Marlboros, and the lighter rubber banded to it inside.

"Oh dear, in my car..."

"Theresh a window" she returned calmly, rolling the driver's side down as she lit up. God, just having the taste in her mouth calmed her down. Maybe if she'd been able to get to these right away she wouldn't have been so damn up tight around that girl April or Amy or, no, there was an 'il... she held the smoke inside her mouth, removing the cigarette to nearer the window, a mark of dark lipstick near the filter.

Avril! Avril, right, like that singer. she could remember that.

"Would you like some gum, dear?" the rustle of little old lady fingers rummaging through a little old lady purse interrupted her thoughts. Gwen exhaled slowly out the window-facing side of her mouth, glancing in the side mirror before merging onto the street. "No, Gran, thank you."

"Are you sure, dear?"

"Yes, Gran, thank you."

The rest of the twenty minute drive home was quiet. Gran turned the radio on to the classical/news station, Gwen left it. It seemed like an even trade, besides, she liked the comedy segment.

They pulled up to the house - a white, cottage-style three-bedroom, with a big bay window over the lawn and sweet pea baskets on either side of the door - at a leisurely pace. Gwen, cigarette extinguished, hurried around to open Gran's car door, and the front of the house door as well.

"Thank you dear - oh!" the phone, mid-ring as the door opened, interrupted Gran's gratitude.

"I got it!" Gwen volunteered, hopping up the steps from the boot rack to the kitchen phone.
"Yallo? Sydney! Hi! Oh my god, I'm so sorry I was off the radar all morning-" she speed-stepped through the kitchen and up the stairs to her room, unworried about Gran following. She had no reason to, besides she'd be another three minutes at least with her shoes.

"Yeah I was stuck in church, Gran's making me go. I'll figure out an excuse yet; join a club or some shit, y'know?" she flopped down backwards on her bed, making a mental note to unpack the duffel bag that still sat where she'd dropped it Saturday afternoon.

Yeah but then you'd have to, y'know, be in a club.

"I know, right? Truly these are tragic times." Gwen grinned dreamily at the ceiling. "Ah sweetie I miss you already."

Yeah um...

"Um?" she asked, smile fading

yeah, um, look I wanted to talk to you before your flight but your folks were there and all...

Gwen sat up. "What's up?"

There was an audible sigh on the other end. Look, Gwen, this was great...

 

[ibbrandi]

Avril started her navy blue beetle, and rolled down the windows. Spring time in Texas wasn't so bad, it was the summer you had to watch out for. Hozier pulsed through the speakers on her way to Anna's house, and she couldn't hold back from singing 'From Eden'. When she pulled into Anna's drive way, she grabbed her bag before walking in, and greeted Mrs. Stacy who was making lunch in the kitchen. "Are you staying for a while Avril? I can make you something to." Avril shook her head as she walked up the steps. "Thanks, but I am not really hungry," she lied. Her stomach made a noise but she put it in the back of her mind. She had to fit into her cheer uniform after all.

"Hey girl," Anna said cheerfully, books already opened and papers out. Avril took her seat and pulled out her things she would need. Her phone chimed and when she looked at it she smiled. 'Love you beautiful.' the text from Jake read. As she started to reply Anna sighed. "Oh get a room! I can practically see the love on your face." Avril laughed and put her phone away after hitting send. A little while later, Anna stopped scribbling on her home work and looked up. "That girl was kind of weird."

Avril shrugged. "I don't know," she said stopping her homework herself. "She seemed nice just different ya know?" Anna smiled "Different as in freaky?" Avril giggled and looked back down on her paper. "I don't know," she admitted. "There seems to be something about her that is almost inviting."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The next morning Avril gathered her things after practice and headed out of the foot ball field gates. Her cheer uniform came just below her breasts, but not quite to her belly button, and the skirt was probably a little too short for school, but no one said anything when all the girls wore them together so she went along with her friends. This was the only time she had to dress in something cute and sexy anyway so she wasn't going to argue anything. Walking toward the front of the school she saw someone leaning on the wall and bit her lip. It was Gwen.

Making her way closer and closer, she gave a small wave, and finally they were standing in front of each other. "Morning!" She said with a smile and fixed the bow in her pony tail. "Are you ready to see your new school?" She noticed Gwen's eyes scan her up and down, and was inwardly cringing. Gwen probably thought her a slut now, like most the other girls on the team. She pulled open the door and made her way inside, hoping Gwen was keeping up. "This is the main lobby," she said and pointed to the statue of a bobcat in the middle of the room. "The Blessings bobcats."​