EXERCISE Room/Place description story

Discussion in 'REFINING WRITING' started by Minibit, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. Your challenge is to write a short story, and to communicate a narrative by giving a tour of its setting.

    That is, the bulk of the story is describing a place. You will use the setting as the vehicle for the story. If this sounds ridiculous, remember that a story in its most basic form is a problem that gets solved. The problem can be answering a question like 'what happened', and your reader can be the one asking it.

    Bonus challenge: No characters or people.

    Here's an example, because the concept's hard to describe.

    Matt's flat looks like a tornado went through it; more so than usual. His place is pretty sloppy on a good day, but if he were conscious, even Matt would agree that right now, it evokes rather the impression of a bomb site. His jumper is halfway across the kitchen table - it knocked a few crushed Monster cans over on its landing - where he threw it, as opposed to in a pile by the door or dropped over the back of one of the two rickety kitchen chairs that came with the place. His boots have made a dent in the far wall instead of amassing a quiet puddle of mud and London rainwater by the door. Today there's not just some tracks on the floor, there's puddles and smears of mud in a clear trail from the entrance to the squeaky ill-fitting bedroom door. There's always been missing patches in the wallpaper, but the bits of spackling that have fallen down along the baseboard are new.
    Today the usual semi-clear path across his bedroom - or rather, room-with-a-secondhand-single-mattress-on-the-floor-room - through the minefield of clean and dirty laundry, boxes and cans and assorted other bullshit is missing. The space is blocked by extra shit; a bright red backpack and a pair of tall black strappy boots which flop over weirdly when unzipped.
    His desk has always been a disaster zone; today the difference is that half of it has been cleared. A leather jacket with furry bullshit around the collar that Matt wouldn't be caught dead in is hanging off the edge; it probably swiped the drifts of post its, pens, CDs, bobbleheads and other crap to the floor, probably lost almost-forever in the abyss.
    Matt will be annoyed about that later. The place may be a perpetual mess, but it's his mess, he knows where everything is, and he treats his system being fucked up the same way a neat freak treats cups without coasters.
    Most people don't believe there is a system, and to be fair, it doesn't really look like there is one. He's never been good at planning, so the way things end up laying out doesn't really make sense. That's okay though; he likes life better that way. He doesn't mind having his jumper on the table instead of the floor, he doesn't mind having a slip 'n slide across the living room instead of a few drips, he doesn't mind half his desk on the floor, he doesn't mind the additional jacket and shirt and pants discarded atop his own pile of clothes next to the mattress, because throwing his routine off and turning his flat into an absolute crater is the cost of delightfully unanticipated things like the blonde bombshell who followed him home and is steadily putting his arm to sleep under mismatched sheets, and there's nothing quite like a smoke in the aftermath.
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  2. I made two, sorry I'm really bored.
    Acar, City of Nova

    Boring Nonsense

    The old gods were old with their Earth they made so long ago. Epochs of humans started to decay the gods creation, they were disappointed and looked to the void for inspiration. In boredom, and maybe even dissipation of getting out the gods, Vinci, Dawn, and Light created the Slate. This plane was a tiny dense gray sphere (practically an atom) with changes in the works of physics and magic.

    1. The less dense something is the more it pushes things away.
    2. The more dense something is the more it pushes inward
    2. Magic doesn't exist nor does the concept of temperature
    3. Void that the Slate is a closed off infinite reality separated from their previous creation
    4. There are 2 type of matter: Void, and Gray Matter

    After a few eons, many billions of years after the destruction of Earth. The three gods of Slate decied to retry making a new intelligent species instead making of the Earth like the last time, which was a mistake as the Earth was chaotic and unpredictable (as shown from the nature of humans). Instead, the god made it out of themselves.

    The Nova were made and they roamed in madness for centuries before in the last breath of the gods before a great sleep they gave them sanity. The Nova went to work quickly learning and making their society.

    Acar, the City of Nova, from a distance looks like a large conglomerate of structures and condensed chucked of gray rock looking things. It floats in a sea of nothingness with a few small rocks here. Everything is an eery gray, light doesn't exist. So you would see in Density as Nova, the people who live here do.

    As one would float closer, you might see a triangular and square tower jutting out from the center which seems to be a chunk of gray rock like that from the void. You see Nova floating by, they look strange most are dense objects moving as you see then, but they move in patterns suggestion they are living.

    In the city are tunnels leading all over, some lead into building others to catacombs deep inside of old dying Nova

    Having Street

    You look along a vista from a room overlooking a single street streaking to left to right. The road is old and cracked its a black pavement is no paint or marks on it besides the large cracks revealing patches of foliage. On the road are large puddles mostly around the creases nears the sidewalks.

    The sidewalks are paved gray and are elevated 1 foot above the street floor. The sidewalk seems to be in a much more better condition then the street and also dryer and less affected by the rainfall by the wetness might suggest.

    In your vision, there are three building visible which seem rundown, but most still seem functional. The first, on the left, has trick red bricks. Most of the building is collapsed, but the second floor still stands with the first. You can see an old tv set and a sofa, above it is a wood lined roof with old black tiles. The rubble lines the sidewalk on the bottom of the structure. The door on the bottom is still intact and a bronze plaque near the top reads: Dus Mviaua. The few windows are shattered and unfixable.

    The second is another red brick building with a similar design to the build nex to it if it still stood. There are two windows on the top and bottom. The door is the same, but the glass is a stained green with an elaborate spiral design probably worth a lot of money.

    The third house is much smaller. It's only one story but it's made of very unrefined wooden planks, It's roof is the same but is lined instead with thatch. The building doesn't have a door instead it seem barricaded from the instead by a drawer. You can see slits from the wood are covered inside by blanket and plastic coverings.

    The sky is setting upon that smaller house, signifying your time to sleep.

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