ROLEPLAY Roleplay/morale advice

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#1
I need some advice on what to do with this dilemma I find myself in once again. Well I had another partner in a roleplay stop on me again due to outside activities in life and a low level of passion. And now my confidence in roleplays, finding a compatible partner and in myself has lowered considerably. I don't know if I need a break because I keep thinking it's me more often than my partner, my interests don't line up with the general trend or it's just me being frustrated that no matter what I do in order to garner more interest things haven't gone my way.

So I ask any one that sees this on what would you do in this situation.
 

Dipper

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#2
People quit roleplays for a lot of reasons, so I doubt it's all on you. Getting wrapped up in real life happens, and so does losing passion-- these are unavoidable, sometimes inevitable. If you're worried about yourself, then maybe try a break. Forget about it for a bit and do something else until you feel ready again, then you can come back refreshed. It's not foolproof, but it's worth a try.

You could also try improving your communication with partners. Talk to them, let them give you ideas or share your ideas with them, work together to develop interesting plot points that'll keep the both of you coming back. I say this because people losing interest is almost always due to stagnation, and if not that, then they're simply not interested in that setting/fandom anymore.

So taking a break or talking to my partner is what I'd do. Maybe try that.
 
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#3
People quit roleplays for a lot of reasons, so I doubt it's all on you. Getting wrapped up in real life happens, and so does losing passion-- these are unavoidable, sometimes inevitable. If you're worried about yourself, then maybe try a break. Forget about it for a bit and do something else until you feel ready again, then you can come back refreshed. It's not foolproof, but it's worth a try.

You could also try improving your communication with partners. Talk to them, let them give you ideas or share your ideas with them, work together to develop interesting plot points that'll keep the both of you coming back. I say this because people losing interest is almost always due to stagnation, and if not that, then they're simply not interested in that setting/fandom anymore.

So taking a break or talking to my partner is what I'd do. Maybe try that.
On a personal level I do feel like it is more me than anything for the reasons I mentioned. While I do want to talk to my partners I also don't want to be a nag with a ooc pm, I do want to work with them to keep them around but also at the same time emotionally I'm frustrated by the lack of results for me despite me being as adaptive as I can.
 

Dipper

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#4
On a personal level I do feel like it is more me than anything for the reasons I mentioned. While I do want to talk to my partners I also don't want to be a nag with a ooc pm, I do want to work with them to keep them around but also at the same time emotionally I'm frustrated by the lack of results for me despite me being as adaptive as I can.
Assuming you spoke a bit beforehand to decide on a plot, people really won't be bothered about being messaged regarding the rp. In fact, lots of people are ecstatic and more than happy to discuss things with you, so frequently discussing things with them will do not harm. Also on the topic of your interests, don't worry about that. There are always people out there who either share that interest or are willing to learn about it.

If you can't get a partner to stay, then there's just nothing you can do. That's really not your fault even though it might seem like it.
 
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Gore unless used properly
#5
Assuming you spoke a bit beforehand to decide on a plot, people really won't be bothered about being messaged regarding the rp. In fact, lots of people are ecstatic and more than happy to discuss things with you, so frequently discussing things with them will do not harm. Also on the topic of your interests, don't worry about that. There are always people out there who either share that interest or are willing to learn about it.

If you can't get a partner to stay, then there's just nothing you can do. That's really not your fault even though it might seem like it.
Well i do speak beforehand when it comes to a roleplay about a plot. In my experience it's more of a mixed bag leaning towards no interest to me even though i am normally in the mood to discuss and roleplay, I don't think there is people out there with the interests I have listed. In terms of a partner not staying it's really a mixed thing with me even though it seems like my fault to me.
 

Dipper

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#6
Then like I said; there's nothing you can do. Most like chatting, some don't, and that's just how it is sometimes.

Out of curiosity, what are these interest you feel nobody shares? Because if they started roleplaying with you, they obviously shared your interest, it's just that they either got busy with something else or are no longer into that fandom or genre-- not at the moment. It happens.

It's still very unlikely to be your fault. Don't take their loss of interest personally.
 
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#7
Then like I said; there's nothing you can do. Most like chatting, some don't, and that's just how it is sometimes.

Out of curiosity, what are these interest you feel nobody shares? Because if they started roleplaying with you, they obviously shared your interest, it's just that they either got busy with something else or are no longer into that fandom or genre-- not at the moment. It happens.

It's still very unlikely to be your fault. Don't take their loss of interest personally.
Even if it is unlikely to be my fault I can't help it sometimes especially when I feel I make the effort to improve my chances of interest but nothing fruitful comes of it.
And I have a link to my interests when I posted the thread: PARTNER REQUEST - Rp request! (Fandoms + Originals)
 

Dipper

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#8
Looks like you've got plenty of interest. There isn't much to do friend, and all I can do is offer you encouragement; keep putting yourself out there and you'll find someone who works perfectly with you.
 

Nemopedia

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#9
Maybe that a break in routine might help? Do something else, change a few things up. I don’t know how comfortable you are with that.

I remember that years ago I quit forum roleplaying for a bit and roleplayed over email (I used Quizilla to find partners back then, but that has since closed, though there are other places). It was a change of pace and most of the time I ended up roleplaying fandoms I didn’t know and entertaining my partners with their favourite character from said fandom. It was nice, I learnt a few things (mostly random fandom knowledge, yay!) and then came back to forum roleplaying with new inspiration and energy.

Like you mentioned in your other thread you only roleplay over PM. Maybe it is an idea to move to the forums? Or to go an entirely different route and try to join group roleplays. Maybe you can do what I did and go the email route. I know a few places where you can find such roleplayers, such as this tumblr blog. There are others, but I don’t have the resources at hand now because I’m on the phone.

Give it a thought! Maybe all you need is a new perspective and change of pace.
 
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#10
Looks like you've got plenty of interest. There isn't much to do friend, and all I can do is offer you encouragement; keep putting yourself out there and you'll find someone who works perfectly with you.
That interest I think is dried up. And if i keep putting myself out there it would seem desperate to others to me cause i don't think i have that someone out there in terms of a partner.
 
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#11
Maybe that a break in routine might help? Do something else, change a few things up. I don’t know how comfortable you are with that.

I remember that years ago I quit forum roleplaying for a bit and roleplayed over email (I used Quizilla to find partners back then, but that has since closed, though there are other places). It was a change of pace and most of the time I ended up roleplaying fandoms I didn’t know and entertaining my partners with their favourite character from said fandom. It was nice, I learnt a few things (mostly random fandom knowledge, yay!) and then came back to forum roleplaying with new inspiration and energy.

Like you mentioned in your other thread you only roleplay over PM. Maybe it is an idea to move to the forums? Or to go an entirely different route and try to join group roleplays. Maybe you can do what I did and go the email route. I know a few places where you can find such roleplayers, such as this tumblr blog. There are others, but I don’t have the resources at hand now because I’m on the phone.

Give it a thought! Maybe all you need is a new perspective and change of pace.
I would find it complicated to move or do a roleplay on the forums, or do group roleplays considering I'll likely be left behind and probably dropped. I used to do a roleplay over email but it eventually dried up, after thinking and reading of these maybe a break sounds better since I'm still feeling like no matter my efforts eventually my interests will be dried up or stay that way.
A change of pace and new perspective do sound like good suggestions.
 

Jorick

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#12
To be brutally honest, it sounds like you get way too attached to roleplay partners. This is not the first time you've made a thread here talking about losing confidence because you lost a roleplay partner. The cold, hard truth of roleplaying is that nothing lasts and everything should be viewed as temporary. The nature of the game means that you're going to lose partners and roleplays are going to die, over and over again so long as you continue roleplaying. Sometimes it's entirely because of you, sometimes it's 100% because of stuff going on with the other person/people, sometimes a bit of both. Even in the case of it being all on you, it does you no good to get hung up on it and worry about it. You should either shrug it off and move on in hopes of finding partners who are cool with you and your stuff, or be proactive about working to improve yourself: try to identify the problem or part of it, identify a solution, and get to work on implementing that solution (which will almost certainly be a change of behavior or writing style given the context).

I highly suggest you take a break and try to adjust your view of roleplaying before trying again. Seriously, expect partners to disappear or drop you for crap reasons or no reason at all. Expect roleplays you're enjoying to just up and die out of nowhere. Strive to enjoy the experience while it lasts, not for where it's going, and thus cultivate the ability to say goodbye to those roleplays and partners without feeling like you've just lost something important. Roleplaying should not be something so important to you that it affects your self-confidence. It should be something you're doing for fun, and maybe to improve your writing skills or keep them sharp, but not much more than that. If you place so much importance on roleplaying that you're experiencing distress more severe than mere disappointment because roleplaying things aren't going well for you, then it's time to take a step back and adjust your priorities.

That said, I know it's hard for most people to actually emotionally distance themselves so completely from roleplaying, but consider it something to work toward rather than a firm goal to accomplish. The closer you get toward totally shrugging off a lost partner, the less problems you'll have when it comes to roleplaying. I can guarantee you that investing less care and importance into roleplaying will do you a hell of a lot more good in the long run than trying harder and harder to please people, because no matter how hard you try there will always be disappointments and it's easier to shake those off if you start from a position of not throwing your heart and soul into each roleplay.
 
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Gore unless used properly
#13
To be brutally honest, it sounds like you get way too attached to roleplay partners. This is not the first time you've made a thread here talking about losing confidence because you lost a roleplay partner. The cold, hard truth of roleplaying is that nothing lasts and everything should be viewed as temporary. The nature of the game means that you're going to lose partners and roleplays are going to die, over and over again so long as you continue roleplaying. Sometimes it's entirely because of you, sometimes it's 100% because of stuff going on with the other person/people, sometimes a bit of both. Even in the case of it being all on you, it does you no good to get hung up on it and worry about it. You should either shrug it off and move on in hopes of finding partners who are cool with you and your stuff, or be proactive about working to improve yourself: try to identify the problem or part of it, identify a solution, and get to work on implementing that solution (which will almost certainly be a change of behavior or writing style given the context).

I highly suggest you take a break and try to adjust your view of roleplaying before trying again. Seriously, expect partners to disappear or drop you for crap reasons or no reason at all. Expect roleplays you're enjoying to just up and die out of nowhere. Strive to enjoy the experience while it lasts, not for where it's going, and thus cultivate the ability to say goodbye to those roleplays and partners without feeling like you've just lost something important. Roleplaying should not be something so important to you that it affects your self-confidence. It should be something you're doing for fun, and maybe to improve your writing skills or keep them sharp, but not much more than that. If you place so much importance on roleplaying that you're experiencing distress more severe than mere disappointment because roleplaying things aren't going well for you, then it's time to take a step back and adjust your priorities.

That said, I know it's hard for most people to actually emotionally distance themselves so completely from roleplaying, but consider it something to work toward rather than a firm goal to accomplish. The closer you get toward totally shrugging off a lost partner, the less problems you'll have when it comes to roleplaying. I can guarantee you that investing less care and importance into roleplaying will do you a hell of a lot more good in the long run than trying harder and harder to please people, because no matter how hard you try there will always be disappointments and it's easier to shake those off if you start from a position of not throwing your heart and soul into each roleplay.
Taking all that into consideration you are right and it's hard for me to emotionally distance myself from roleplaying, along with drops for crap reason and no reason it'll be hard for me to expect that because you mostly don't see it coming. Your suggestion to take a break from roleplaying does sound like a good idea to do while the challenge in that would be to adjust my view to roleplaying before trying again. You make it sound like finding partners after moving on from another one is easy, in my current view or experience at the moment it just seems harder to have a interest in my stuff. I roleplay for fun but with my interests and what i look for whatever roleplays i have i put a bit of my heart and soul into it especially from my interests to the actual roleplay.