Relationships...Oh boy

K

Kaiser

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Original poster
Being in a relationship with another that surpasses friendship...we have all had one, many more than one. I in particular have had 2. One lasted 9 months, the other 3. I won't sit here and say that they have taught me everything to know about relationships. They combine to make just 1 year. I have learned many things from them. Sadly both were quite horrible break ups, and led to some nasty aftermath. I do not blame the other completely. It takes two to tango. Whether it is getting together or breaking up. I had my faults, as did the other. I am a freshman in college, still young like many on here. I have a whole life ahead of me. I strive day in and day out to work for what I want. I am currently at a stand still with what I believe I want to do, but my point remains. I think the biggest thing I've taken out of my relationships is...woah! Slow down! I had myself convinced that in order to progress in life, I needed to be with someone. A pretty ugly theory. As I mentioned, I am young, Im 19. It has taken me untill now to discover what I believe is my life's truth. What I mean is I want to work towards my goals before I commit myself. I don't mean marriage or anything like that. I want to have a wife, and children. I love the idea of being a father. That can all wait, being with someone can wait. That is the truth I have finally found. If I am to get into something serious with someone else, then yes I will reassess my priorities. I don't ever want to forget my goals, however.

What I am trying to say is to me, you don't have to rush out and find your one true love so early. I don't think it's healthy really. I want to get a degree in whatever I plan to, and stride for a job. To me that's when I feel like settling down is right. Im not saying I won't find someone prior, the world is random. This may seem rather obvious to some, but I felt like sharing my ideas to you fine people.


Do you agree? Disagree? What are your beliefs about relationships? The age range here is quite large, so it would be interesting to see what people have to say. Like I said, Im 19. I have some time left to tick away :)
 
Privet. I have to say after reading this I now know I am not alone. I am of 23 years of age. (That's four more than you :D) But the truth of it all is that love now is hard to find when you are young. The right love that is. "What do you mean by that Nikolai?". I mean that To find the one who is worth the trouble while you're in school is bassicly worthless. You won't. I am in college for a degree in Law. I have had a few girlfriends yet none to stay with. My money is very tight so it is hard to do things with any woman.

Bassicly I agree. Love can wait, yes. Yet eventually you will need it. Once I have a degree in law I will be looking for that special someone :)
 
I am 22, a college student, married to my high school sweetheart going on four years now and have an almost three year old son (he will be 3 on Sunday) My entire family frowned and nearly went belly up when I made my decisions. To all I had "thrown my life away, rushed into marriage... blah blah blah..." I believe that it happens to everyone when you least expect it. I was in the lovey dovey stage of my life where my boyfriend and I had been together for what seemed like forever (Truly only a year and a half) And I was okay with saying yes. I wanted to be married to him and share a life with him. Then life hit hard. Our marriage has been through hell and high water but I wouldn't have wanted to face all of it alone. I am beyond grateful that I have been able to go through this hell of a roller coaster with him as my husband. My changed last name and ring on the left hand finger reminds me daily that I made a super gargantuan choice and that I regret nothing. Young as I was, I made a decision for me, and I am so very glad that I didn't listen to everyone else. I've supported myself on my own since the age of sixteen and we just bought a house. Not many can say at the age of 22 that they own a home, are parents and have a solid grade point average only three semesters away from graduating with high honors. My time came before most and even though the world was against us, we made it. So it's good that you have found out that it's okay that love can wait. It's okay to not go out in search of it. You're going to be going about your life striving towards those goals and you'll find that one amazing person that will complement (not to be mistaken for compliment lol) everything you do and be your support to help you reach those goals, because true love helps the other achieve dreams, not stray them from it.

Good luck in reaching your goals and finding love when the time is right for you :)
 
First step is having a good relationship with your self! Only then can you have a healthy relationship with someone else.

My personal beliefs on relationships and true love are not a good topic for positivity month > <

As for your situation, Vulcan, I think you are smart to get your own life in order before deciding to get serious with anyone. Good move, bruh, good move.
 
Speaking from personal experience I was married for three years that ended in a nasty divorce. Keep in mind I'm only 22 I got married at 17 so I think people should wait till they discover who they are, and can be confident with their personality. If you hate yourself others will dislike it as well. Though that made me believe all men <---(not true btw) are evil. I was dead wrong I ended up meeting the man I'm with now. Im engaged and we are having a baby I couldn't be happier. Though my first exp. Is what got me ready for this. In truth back then I wasn't ready and I was with the wrong person. Just in the end sometimes it takes awhile for u to find yourself in a great relationship. just be patient and wait till you feel your ready. And all relationships take both parties to make the other happy:D Good luck in your future!
 
I believe that you need to live your life, not you in particular, but every person should simply live. Do what you want. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. And if, during the time you spend doing what you can/need/want to make yourself happy, you come along someone who wants to hop on for the ride.

I didn't do this in my previous relationship that ended on February 22nd, 2013. Recently, I might add, and only two days before my birthday. It lasted one year and four months and was my first serious relationship. My significant other was my first in many things, including sex. I don't regret a thing from our relationship, and to this day we are still good friends. We were best friends from the start and through our relationship, so being good friends after our romantic relationship was over wasn't a big change. If you read our texts, you'd think we were still together, only we don't have our "pet names" nor do we say I love you and such.

I own my own company making costumes, cosplays, and lolita clothing. I had so many opportunities handed to me this year: being apart of the Nashville Alternative Fashion group, getting a job literally HANDED to me at a gallery in Nashville, having serious friends, being a performer in the Tennessee Renaissance Faire. And guess what.

I said, "No," so nearly every one of those opportunities, and now I'm stuck trying to fill my time, time that would have been spent with my significant other. Now, I no longer have most of those opportunities, nor do I have a boy/girlfriend. So quite a bit of free time showed up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

Live your life the way you want to and do what you want to. Be yourself. And eventually, you will find someone who wants to be with you, and do what you want to do despite having a boy/girlfriend. Fill your time with things for yourself. Don't stop yourself from doing the things you want/need to do simply because you have a significant other.

I guess that's the easiest way to sum up the things I've learned. I felt freed after I was broken up with, truly I was. I was depressed for quite a while, and still think of the things that we will never do together. All my hopes for the future were taken from me, but I've realized now how much I was holding back from things that I wanted to do. Now, I've found that I'm dressing differently, I'm talking to people I hadn't talked to before, I'm less worried, I'm calmer, I don't think of him/her before I think of myself like I used to. I'm buying things for myself and my family and best friends to make me happy instead of buying things for him/her like I used to.

Things happen for a reason and most relationship shows up when you least expect it. Take your time, you're only 19. I'm 20 and a college student and entrepreneur as well, so I know what you're going through. Live the life you want, work hard for the things you want.

Live fully. Love completely. Laugh loudly. And carry a big stick. XD
 
Yes, I am young at nineteen, yet still I feel as though I should speak up on this topic. I was with a woman for two years, going so far as to ask her father for his blessing of marriage. Our break up was not the best by far, yet I also learned a few things such as women can be crazy as hell sometimes xD
 
So can men, do not judge people by their gender or sex. Judge them by their actions & words.
 
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