Prism

[DotCom]

Rora's mind drifted as Mori spoke, and even as she spoke, content simply to just be there beside him, his voice, his presence in her mind. She found herself powerless to control her daydreaming anymore, and didn't see much a point in trying. The war was over. They had won. And while their efforts were far from complete – the number 1,001 had not left her alone in weeks – she could not help but feel as if their burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Kaloranis had left Mori. The Maiden had fulfilled her destiny. There was nothing left but their children, and the thought of them filled her with a dreamy sort of glee more than apprehension or worry.

But when he spoke her daughter's name in full for the first time, Rora found her mind pulled abruptly back to the present. Her eyes shot to his face, first questioning, searching, then once again brimming with tears. She beamed at him nodding slowly. It was as if their daughter, one of them, had always been there, her name just as clear and plain as Mori's own in her mind.

"Tai'risNya," she repeated, then hiccuped wetly, once again silently chastising herself for an emotional outburst over nothing. Next to nothing. This was her daughter. Their daughter. A year ago, there had been a madness lurking at the edges of her mind. Mori had been a dying thing in a cage. And now, they were naming one of their twin girls. "Tai'risNya. Tai. Tairisa Stormborn. Beautiful."

She giggled helplessly and beamed up at Mori again, surprising herself by yawning. She could feel his amusement just as strongly as his assurance in the name, their family, and she was sure it would bother her later, but now, she was too happy, too content, too…sleepy.

It was another frustrating point of these late stages of the pregnancy. Everything exhausted her. It was a happy sort of exhaustion, leaving her feeling pleasantly tired, and she was content enough to nap, so long as it was with Mori at her side.

"Don't mock," she warned, an edge to her voice that said she was serious, though she was anything but. "Little Tai and her sister kept me up all night with their kicking." She yawned again and smiled and reached out to trace gentle patterns with the tips of her fingers against his hip. "I don't think we'll be able to get them sit still more than a minute at a time, our little ones." The thought filled her with an almost giddy joy and she shared indulgently with her mate as her eyes drifted shut against her will.

"Can we…the little one with your eyes…she looks so like you…" Rora forgot what she was going to say for a moment, the words leaving her as sleep swept over her, warm and heavy as a wool blanket. She didn't mind. She knew Mori could read her thoughts, even sleep-muddled as they were, clear as day.

Can we name the one with your eyes Tai'risNya?

--

His answer to her second question made her go just as rigid, just as quickly as his answer to her first had filled her with relief. He had answered in words, but it was the impressions she soaked in, and Lyra didn't realize how badly she'd needed to hear, to FEEL those words – that he trusted her, despite everything, all her mistakes, those he knew, and those he didn't, even though she had failed him again, and again, and again, that he trusted her, even though it might kill him – until he spoke them. She shuddered at the touch, at the thought, knowing she didn't deserve him, his trust, and that he was so willing to give himself over to her anyway. She gulped a breath of air, realizing she had forgotten to breathe, and felt heady with as much relief as she felt guilt.

"Okay," she said. "Alright. I know. I know, I just…"

And then his mind was gone, reeling, as her second question buffeted him. She hated herself for having to ask it, even as she knew she needed to. She had to get him past this, or they would fall apart again, and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to get him back again.

And listening to him, feeling him shake and whimper in quiet agony beneath her, she knew she HAD to get him through his. She didn't have any other options. She never had.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, feeling her mind approach that threshold of desperate panic as his did. She couldn't lose herself to his pain, his need. Not again. She felt Asesee moving nearby and suppressed a helpless need to want to vent her fear and anger at the other Aavan. She would train when she got back to the city. She would train until she was so exhausted, she couldn't feel. She would train until her body hurt so much, her mind stopped aching. And then she would return to Rask, and she would get him through this. She'd never worked better than in the face of a challenge.

But then she'd never been so afraid to lose, either.

She made herself keep breathing as she felt the fear and pain begin to overwhelm him.

WHY couldn't she think?!? Why did his pain, his fear, throw her into such a frenzy? This wasn't her. This wasn't Lyra. Lyra was cool, calm, collected, a thinker, a doer. She was a Keeper. She didn't panic at the slightest threat, didn't lose her temper or her gall in he face of a challenge. What about this so unnerved her? Why did she feel so helpless? She could feel herself shaking, and hated herself for it.

Stupid. Stupid, get it together. You owe him that much.


She reached out, eyes shut, to smooth a hand over his scales, gritting her teeth as she felt Asesee move closer – get AWAY from him! – and ended up scraping a shaking hand over golden-white scales instead, leaving a small, bright streak of red. There was a tiny burs of pain, and she found she could breathe again.


"Okay," she soothed. "Okay. It's alright. I'm here. I'm right here. Rask? Please…you have to listen, you have to try to relax, you…"

She winced at the silent scream that went through him, remembering that time four days prior, thinking he was dead, still hearing his dying screams…

She ran her knuckles over his scales again, ruthless this time, angry, and the starburst of pain cleared her head like a wave crashing over a beach crowed with razor-sharp shells.

The scarlet froze for a second, then crept forward, calm and gentle, to coil around the gold, slowly coaxing away the tension, the pain and fear. It took up those positions the gold now tired of holding, taking over protection, taking over the breaking wall. It was fiercely protective in place of the defensive gold, coaxing gold stands into relaxation even as they trembled against the pressure of holding the pain at bay. Lyra wiped her bleeding hand on her shirt without thinking.

"It's alright," she coaxed gently, calmly. "Rask, you can rest. You can take a break. Let me help. I know it hurts. I know. We…one step in a time, just like Asesee said. Just one image, one memory. We're going to work through it, and put it behind us. It won't hurt anymore. I…I promise. The pain will pass."

 

[Kaisaan]

Mori carded his fingers through Rora's dark hair with the utmost affection, contentment from her touch, her words, her very demeanor lapping warmly at his mind. He smiled softly and placed an even gentler kiss to his mate's forehead, careful not to wake her as he looked own at the Cerebra again, shaking his head in amusement she wouldn't see.

"Of course we can." the black Aavan whispered into the calm stillness of the room and his fingers found Rora's stomach, once again humbled by the mere evidence of their love, of the life within his mate. He was further amazed that Rora trusted him so much, that she continued to sleep on while his fingers traced patterns over her stomach, knowing just how sensative and protective she was when it came to the twins and anyone being near them.

Anyone but him.

It brought tears to his violet eyes, but they were nothing short of joyful as Mori placed a kiss and then other to her swollen middle, his words even softer than his initial whisper had been. "My babies. I love you both. So very much." A smile pulled at his lips. "I'll see you soon."

--

Her mind took the pressure away and Rask found himself taking a deep, gulping, ragged breath as he felt the pain fade to something like a dull buzz. It cleared his head, letting him hear her words, comprehend them in all their meanings. He understood and his large head nodded, green eyes focused on his mate with abject relief, faith in her...and then confusion. Those same great eyes narrowed slowly, feeling a throb, a stinging pain that was not his own and his nostrils flared, catching the scent of blood.

Cerebra blood.

An entirely different kind of growl rumbled through his scales this time, rasping through his throat and something of the 'old' Rask appeared in his gaze, in his face as he lowered his head toward his own back and Lyra. His mind snapped to attention, rigid and sparking with anger, a small zing of fear and then a protectiveness that was equal enough to match Lyra's easily as he caught sight of her hand and then the blood on his white-gold scales. Green eyes snapped back to tangerine.

"Don't."

He nearly snarled it into her head and then his body was shifting down even as his tail set Lyra on the ground. Rask was soon standing before her, his tail reaching out to wrap around her wrist, pulling her hand forward and into his own hands as he examined the damage, fangs grit in extreme displeasure and his mind no longer content to be comforted, wrapping around the scarlet even as it did so to him, searching for the cause of this strange physical action.

He didn't like it. He didn't want her hurting herself, and certainly not doing so to deal with her own pain!

Rask looked back up and his hands came to find Lyra's face, cradling her securely, but firmly as he finally got a word, just one, past his damaged throat. "No." It was harsh-sounding, guttural, but held both anger and love behind it. The gold Aavan's lips met Lyra's then in a fierce kiss, possessive and vulnerable at once, before he pulled away again and shook his head vehemently.

"Do not hurt yourself. Never, Lyra. Not ever."

Everything else faded away in that moment, everything but making sure she didn't do it again.

--

Asesee watched the two carefully, shifting down herself slowly, but not yet approaching as her mind slowly reached out, touching her brother's consciousness first, very delicately slipping into his head, the barest of a peach-colored thread that soon found Lyra's mind as well. She observed the two, what was happening inside and started to understand just how it was she could help.

The small peach thread was barely noticed by the scarlet or the gold and she avoided both gently when they showed any kind of half-interest in her, keeping up with her studying of the walls in both Rask AND Lyra's mind, finding confidence build in her as she smiled a bit outwardly. Yes, she could do this.

The peach withdrew for the moment, though, knowing that she could hardly do anything without getting at least partial consent from the two beings she'd be aiding. And right now was not the time to mention it to them. Soon, before they escalated, but not yet.

 

[DotCom]

She felt his relief before she felt his anger, or her pain. And she knew it was stupid, and bad, and just wrong, but she didn't care. He wasn't screaming anymore. He was still hurting, yes, but he wasn't screaming. What else mattered? What else could possibly matter?

Lyra saw him watching her, that old, familiar anger in his eyes, the sort that, a month ago, would have sparked her own temper. They'd be sparring in a few moments, only...only she'd tried that before, sort of. Tried hitting him. He'd gone away then. She couldn't do that now. Not even if he wanted it. She wouldn't risk it.

Still, the look in his eyes was intoxicating. She felt his tail come around her wrist and imagined him pulling her to the ground, kneeling over her again, waiting for her to react. She imagined anger and smug victory in his gaze, back before things had gotten so bad, back before this cursed Bond, when he'd been better without her.

The thought threatened to spark panic, but she wouldn't let it come. She squeezed her hand, and even the small stretching of torn skin over her knuckles was enough to clear her mind.

She took a deep breath, then nodded, as close to tears of frustrated relief as she had ever been. She was nodding almost before she could breathe.

"Okay," she promised eagerly, without even knowing what she was agreeing to. Anything to have him back, speaking to her again, calm, or calmer. Anything but that fear, that pain that left a tang of acid in the back of her throat. "Okay, I won't. I swear. Just...I'm okay. It's okay. I'm fine."

It hurt to hear him speak, actually speak, but it was worth it for that kiss. She could feel his anger and concern and tried in a dreamy, distant sort of way to assure him she was alright, the scarlet maybe too eager to calm this time. This was wrong, she knew. They wouldn't hold this way...but just a moment's relief, that kiss, an unspoken promise that he wasn't gone from her...She had to swallow a whimper of desperate relief.

"It's okay," she breathed, still reveling in the sensation of his lips on hers, of his voice in her mind. "Everything is okay. It's gonna be fine, I promise. It's alright. We can do this now, okay? We can work through it. I won't leave you. Not...not anymore."

 

[Kaisaan]

A wince passed through his eyes at the action of her hands, but Lyra didn't seem to notice and then she was saying she wouldn't do it again, and the gold was eager to believe her, Rask nodding back, his fingers threading back through her hair as he brought his forehead to her own, letting out a raspy sigh of relief to hear the words, no matter if she truly meant them in the long run or not. He could deal with that later. Right now there was a small pocket of calm, of something almost approaching normalcy and the gold Aavan longed to stay in it.

Even as he knew they couldn't.

Knowing such, Rask brought his mouth back to Lyra's, stealing another kiss from her, far more tender and gentle than the last one before he pulled away again, his thumb brushing her cheek in a soothing motion. "I know. I love you, and I know." he repeated her own words back to her and then pulled back enough to look into the Keeper's eyes, his green ones showing a moment of complete lucidness.

"I won't leave you again. I promise." he whispered into her mind, the gold curling gently around the scarlet and then Rask turned his head as if drawn to Asesee who was watching them patiently and now started forward even as the male gold spoke to her, his mind reaching out for the first time in a while toward another Aavan, but that was when the clarity in his mind started to change again, two shades of gold, one dark - the Rask Lyra knew - and one lighter - the voice she'd asked about - starting to blend together even as they retained their own colors.

"I'm not who you think I am." Rask seemed to smile a little, but it wasn't with happiness, more like wry, painful amusement and his words to Asesee were just as easily heard by Lyra, the conversation open to her, too. "You were supposed to be my anchor. It didn't work."

Orange eyes regarded him with thought, clearly puzzled by her brother's words, but Asesee didn't react to the different hue of gold she could sense in her sibling's voice, his thought pattern. Instead she stayed on the topic that needed to be addressed, not understanding what was drawing her to do this or even how she was going to, but knowing she could. Somehow, she could help them and she was going to. "Rask, will you let me help you? Lyra, will you? I can shield you, take you somewhere safe, give you time to handle this."

The peach of her mind extended to Rask first simply because she couldn't connect with Lyra without him and the gold hesitated, recoiling for a moment before green eyes came up to meet her orange and Asesee saw a glimmer of gold seep into his gaze, his pupils slit within the green-gold mixture that was his iris now. She felt as if she spoke to not two people - Lyra and Rask - but three; Lyra, Rask and some unknown entity that had started to invade her brother, turning him into someone she thought she recognized and yet didn't know at all. It was that person she looked upon now, felt touch the peach of her own mind with a chill that made her shiver even as the male gold Aavan answered.

"You won't like what you'll see."

Orange eyes narrowed, looking from Lyra to Rask and Asesee spoke calmly even as her mind extended further, offering. "You let me worry about that."

A smirk crossed Rask's face, looking nothing like the Rask Asesee knew, but the gold that wrapped around the scarlet was dark in hue, reassuring as Rask turned his face to Lyra, expression changing to something far more affectionate and fierce. "Trust me." he said softly before his mind reached toward the female gold Aavan's and Asesee didn't hesitate to pull both Rask and Lyra into her mind.

Her teeth grit with the effort of it, the pain that exploded behind her eyes as she did something that wasn't usually attempted, was rarely successful, but Asesee was strong. Years, numerous years, of training, torture, discipline among the Cerebrae had given her an indomitable will and a mind stronger and more resilient to trauma than most. And the scary thing for Asesee once she was inside both Lyra and Rask's minds, was that she recognized the same signatures of trauma within her brother who, to her knowledge, had never been purposely hurt in his life.

It was not something she could dwell on, though, as she knew that it was only a matter of moments before she would get pulled into the swirling madness and chaos of Rask's mind and would face Lyra's indignation and wrath. She had to erect the shields against both their minds in that few moments and with a strength Asesee didn't know she possessed, she managed it, at the same time pulling the two away from their respective walls and into a safe setting.

--

Rask blinked, half startled by his environment, and half understanding it, the dark and light hues of gold in his mind to blame for his torn state. But the pain was gone. The pressure was gone and the male Aavan realized that Lyra was in his arms, safe with him in this calm clearing in the jungle, a tame stream running past them and the gentlest of animal sounds floating on the wind.

And Asesee was standing not far from them, waiting patiently as she'd been before. There was a strain in her orange eyes, though, that hadn't been there before, but Rask found it hard to focus on and so he brought his attention back to Lyra, looking down at her with green-gold, slitted eyes.

At a mid-point between the two personalities that seemed to reside in his mind.

"Are you all right?"

"You're both safe. This is my mind and until you both can function, you're not leaving it." Asesee said firmly, speaking over him, and then pointed to the sky where two separate storms were brewing in a cyclone-like circle in different corner's of the sky. "Those are your minds, your memories, fears, pain. You can access it at any time, pull as much as you want into this place, but it's your choice now."

 

[DotCom]

She leaned into him, into his words, his comfort, without ever meaning to, that desperate, survivalist part of her mind sealing off this memory and burying it deep for safe keeping. Just in case. Because as eager as she was to believe him, as much as she wanted what he said to be true -- and she did, more than anything -- there was still a part of her, a large part, that feared the what-ifs.

Lyra had no intention of living without Rask. But some part of her planned to try.

She ignored all of that now to float in the dreamy, intoxicating comfort that was a lucid Rask. She did not need his gentleness, much as she craved it, or his kindness, or even his content. Only his voice in her mind, only those words, anything but the pain, the loss. She felt herself going again, swooning in that same desperate need to please, nodding even as tears threatened, and she pushed them away, hotly anger.

Don't. Don't you dare ruin this moment.

When he pulled away, her mind cringed, and she only just stopped a whimper from reaching her lips, knowing what it might do to him. She stumbled forward, unwilling to let him go just yet, and when she opened her eyes to meet his -- what had been his -- there was a half second of a desperate plea there.

Don't go. Please don't go. Stay. I can be better. I can learn. I promise.
And then he was looking away, and that lighter shade of gold was wriggling between them. He was right, she knew. It was him. It was a Rask she didn't know or understand, and it was a Rask that hurt the one she loved, and so she hated it with a fire that threatened to destroy.

She felt the scarlet go rigid with a desire, a need to destroy, to protect, the rip the lighter gold to pieces...and then fall away with a terror that made her gasp. no. The gold was good. The gold was Rask, even this lighter shade she so detested. Rask was not the enemy. Rask was her Bonded, she loved him. Rask was...

...was looking away from her. Toward Asesee.

Asesee.

She'd forgotten the other Aavan had come with them, and while she knew the female Aavan had done nothing wrong, she could not help the sudden defensive rage that sprung up within her. Would she speak so casually to her mate? After all the precautions Lyra had taken -- tried to take...should have taken -- would she undo her work, throw Rask back into a haze of pain and fear?

Lyra had taken several steps toward Asesee before she realized she was moving. Somewhere inside her, a voice, the Lyra she had been before the Bond, reminded her of that strange, instinctive feeling that Asesee shouldn't, couldn't be hurt.

Lyra didn't care. Rask was hurt. Rask was suffering. And someone -- it's your fault, you failed him...just like last time, just like every time -- had to pay.

She turned and then she was running, sprint, launching herself at Asesee. She felt her feet leave the ground, and then --

And then she was spinning, falling. There was a bone-chilling scream that was so horribly familiar, it made Lyra curl into herself, away from the gold, far, far away from the lighter peach color.

And then there was silence, peace. She opened her eyes. Rask held her, and she felt so instantly relieved, she nearly collapsed.

Instead, she swallowed hard and nodded.

"I'm fine."

Looking at him, she felt that same horror, guilt, fear, pain, she had in the real world...but it felt distant, not connected to her, not blocking her access to rational thought. Things were clearer here, she could think again, be as she was. Rask looked to Asesee, and Lyra followed after a moment. It cost the female Aavan to keep them here, and frustrated as Lyra was, she could not deny this was a thing they needed.

She gave a terse, grateful nod to the female Aavan, then turned back to her mate.

"I'm fine," she said again. "I want to help you. Let me help you. I need to help you."

 

[Kaisaan]

"Lyra, shh. Hey, I'm all right. Shh." Rask spoke softly, feeling the turmoil of her mind, her emotions as if from a distance, but knowing they were there all the same and wanting to soothe them. He pulled his mate closer and held her securely, his chin resting on the top of her head, blond hair mixing with the rust hue of her own. "I know you do. I know, but I want to help you, too."

Green-gold eyes looked down then even as he tilted Lyra's head up, meeting her tangerine. "Lyra, if you aren't whole I can't be either." he warned her softly, able to think clearly for the most part, needing her to know such a fact. His fingers brushed her face, comforting and sure. "I will let you help me. I need your help, I need you." he assured her softly, meaning every word. The gold Aavan knew he couldn't do this without her. He couldn't face the chaos of his mind, couldn't face life without his mate with him. He hardly felt like he'd been living at all before he Bonded with her and no matter how difficult their process had been - was - he wouldn't wish her gone from his life.

Nothing would be worse than not having Lyra in his life.

Are you sure about that?

The voice came from all around them and Rask jumped, startled and then looked to the sky as his storm gave a rumble and a sudden streak of pale gold came crackling out of the dark, swirling cyclone like lightning. It hit Rask squarely and the flash of pain that went through him was so intense it took his very breath away and he arched, not knowing when he'd fallen to the ground and his body flickered, shimmered, but not to disappear.

No, it was to divide.

The pain faded to a throb and then dulled still further as Rask coughed, his body trembling, but his focus rooted completely on the figure beside him who was rising rather calmly, their body shaking as well, but in better control than Rask was. And it only took a moment for Rask to realize as he stood carefully that it was himself he looked at...a much different version of himself.

The figure that looked back at him was scarred, heavily so and clear to see as he only wore simple pants and his gold hair was cut short, shaggy about his head unlike Rask's longer mane. He held himself like a warrior, much like Lyra always did, ready to attack at a moment's notice, wary of everything, suspicious of all. His eyes were green, the same green as Rask's own, but they were hard, just as scarred as his body, haunted and his expression was masked, just as easily able to smile as it would be for him to kill. An act.

A smirk rested on his face now as looked from Lyra and Asesee and back to Rask, a brow rising, but saying nothing. He didn't need to as Rask moved forward just a step before stopping again, disbelief running through him that the other cocked his head to feel.

"You're real."

An amused chuckle, brief and tense. "I'm you or rather, you're me. I came first."

Rask shook his head slowly, trembling in a near-violent manner, feeling instantly overwhelmed as he looked back at Lyra, lost, scrambling for some purchase, and then to the other him again, voice faint. "The memories..."

"They're mine, but I'm you so they're yours, too."

"W-who-"

Green eyes flashed gold, narrowed. "You already know that answer. Who am I, Raskiis? Who are we?" There was challenge in that question and Rask grit his teeth as his head streaked with pain, driving him to his knees, making the other him clench their fists until their knuckles turned white, feeling the same pain. But it finally came to Rask and with the answer, the pain faded again even as he gasped it out.

"Ras'K of the Goldstar Family, First Danarik of Hesna Velinke."

Both Rask and Ras'K turned their heads to hear Asesee gasp and she looked at the latter with wide eyes, trying to puzzle this out as it came to her, clear as crystal, that her name among the Cerebrae had been Goldstar. But Ras'K only smiled slowly at the question in her eyes and looked back at Rask and then Lyra. It was to her that he spoke now, not hostile, but not devoted either, not like Rask was.

"You sure you still want to help?"

 

[DotCom]

Lyra let herself sink into him -- that strong, gentle, calm Rask she had seen only once; the one she wasn't terrified for, the one who didn't make her ready to kill -- for one quiet, glorious moment. She buried her face in his chest and breathed deep, eyes closed, just long enough to find her footing again. Long enough to remember that moment if things went south again. She could feel his breath in her hair, and it made her skin prickle. She shuddered, her mind wandering, just for a moment.

Then he pulled away and she braced herself again, nodding slowly, grateful, so grateful that he wasn't gone yet.

"Alright," she started quietly. "Okay. We -- "

The new voice was becoming familiar in the worst way, and when it began, she found herself back in that protective crouch, ready to fight, whatever, whoever it was for Rask.

She wasn't surprised when it was Rask.

She had only just started to turn back to him when his cry of pain drew back instinct first. She dropped to her knees in an instant, tangerine eyes wide, too afraid to touch him with her hands, but her mind diving into his, the dual-toned chaos, unconcerned with the potential for pain or loss, thinking only to soothe her mate and haul him back to reality -- or as near as they could handle.

Rask stood beside himself long before she was able to make any sense of it, and it was with suspicion -- not surprise, or confusion, or even anger, but suspicion so strong it trumped every other emotion -- that she rose again to study the newcomer.

Of course, newcomer was generous. She understood that this was the...thing that had been occupying Rask's mind for weeks now, and it made her feel no more forgiving toward him. It.

And yet...yet...

Lyra could not ignore the hard, haunted look in his eyes, nor the scars that covered his person. She saw, she realized, herself in him, a Keeper brought up on hard truths, tense, rigid, coiled like a snake ready to strike. For some reason she could not guess, it twisted something hard inside her, cold and ruthless, and she thought for a moment, she might be sick.

What had happened to him?

The fear, the guilt was almost instantly replaced with anger, and Lyra looked between her mate and his copy, bloodied hands clenching into shaking fists. She was only vaguely aware of Rask -- Ras'K? -- speaking, hearing the double's words as if from very far away.

Someone had hurt him. Someone had hurt him.

This...liar, this traitor who had tried to turn Rask against her, as much as she hated him, he looked enough like Rask that, for the moment, she could see only scars. She hadn't been there -- wherever 'there' was -- and someone had hurt Rask. And now her Bonded was paying the price.
For a long moment, she could only stare, trembling with rage, and something else, something thicker, blacker, at the person who had been her Bonded. Thoughts, slow, tepid realization trickled through, wriggling between spaces in the anger that clung to her, thick as smoke.

This was not Rask.

This was Rask. Ras'K.

He was a Rask from a different time. Future or past, she didn't know. Did it matter? Some part of her thought so, wanted to know. What had happened? How had things gotten this bad? How was Rask both Rask and Ras'K, and why was he where? How was he here? Where was he from? These were questions that needed answers if Lyra was ever going to carry Rask through this...but she could only see the scars. That cold, smug lifelessness in golden eyes that were distant as stars.

Orai sol...

She wanted to say the words, but they would not come.

A silence hung between the small, stunned quartet, and Lyra realized he'd asked a question. Ras'K. A challenge? A temptation?

And...did it matter?

Lyra swallowed hard, shook her head slowly. Asesee had gone. Even Rask was just a shadow in her mind. Her voice was as cold and hard as Ras'K's eyes when she spoke, pointing to the scars littering his chest.

"Who did this?"

 

[Kaisaan]

His body didn't react, his expression barely changed, but pain - more emotional than physical - flashed through verdant green eyes and Ras'K hid the reaction behind another subtle smirk. He tilted his head in the same manner Rask had always done when taunting Lyra during a spar, but where Rask was playful with it, Ras'K was using it as a shield. Every actions, from his hair falling into his eyes, to the way he made his body appear calm, at ease and how he made his voice steady, confident was all in an attempt to make the trauma that radiated from him in waves less visible, to mask it.

It called for help, though, but his barbed tongue and even more deadly demeanor, actions kept those who would help him away.

Ras'K looked down at the scars that littered his toned body and he looked back up at Lyra with a cold shrug, as if he didn't care in the least. It was almost tempting to believe him. "That's not a simple question, Crimson, and it doesn't have a simple answer."

"But there is an answer."

Rask's voice entered into the conversation again and he'd risen once more, moving beside Lyra now, making contact with her shoulder with a gentle touch. He told her in that silent move that he was still here, this personality that she knew was still present and he wasn't under threat. As much as this could be all right, it was. His green eyes met identical ones in shade and Ras'K's attention had snapped intently to his double at Rask's words, his body having gone tense again. And his demeanor just kept growing more cold, distant the more Rask said.

"I could see it, couldn't I? All the memories, I can access them, show her, they're mine and you...you're an echo of what I used to be."

"I am what you ARE!" Ras'K snarled, fangs growing, something breaking in his expression and Rask shook his head, his green eyes growing harder. "No. I'm not you anymore. I didn't have the life you did. We're two personalities. I can choose."

Disbelief and rage flared in Ras'K's eyes and he shook his head, voice rasped and growled. "Choose?! You think you can choose? I am your past! You can't choose to forget me! I AM YOU!"

"I don't want to be you!"

They were face to face now, both snarling angrily, tense and threatening, expressions nearly identical. Their emotions certainly were in their heated stubbornness and it could be felt around them in Asesee's mind, that identical state, the blending of the two angers until they were one, indistinguishable. And how could they not be? They were from the same person.

That anger didn't lead them to violence, though, both knowing, sensing they couldn't hurt themselves - and that's what they'd be doing if they attacked. So there was no physical contact, but Ras'K gave a dark, bitter bark of a laugh and sneered. "Too late, Rask. You already were me. So go ahead, try to forget me, try to shove me deep down and pretend like I never happened. I promise you I'll ruin your life if you try. It was MY life first."

 

[DotCom]

It was strange, she knew, maybe even wrong to be relieved. Rask hadn't let go of that pain, that anger that had built inside him, festering into this second livelihood, the Rask -- Ras'K -- that stood in front of her, radiating pain and hurt and distrust so strongly, it made her feel woozy. And while she wanted nothing more than to have him, both of him, at her side, she knew nothing was okay. They were still in disaster mode. Bonds weren't supposed to work like that, and now that they were finally uncovering the truth, it was only leading to more problems, mysteries. Things that should never have been possible. It wasn't good. It wasn't okay.

But she felt better than she had in ages.

She didn't know what had happened to Ras'K, and she knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she did. She knew it would make her that much more paranoid, more overprotective, more relentlessly unforgiving. She was tired, so tired, of not knowing how to fix him, of being forced to stand in silence while this torture ate him from the inside out. But now there was something she could do. This was something tangible, something she could put her hands on and fix, change. There were real, moving pieces here. Huge, heavy pieces she couldn't even begin to understand, but real pieces nonetheless. There would be no more waiting, no more helplessly trying to coax lucidity from Rask. This was something real, something effective she could do. This was something she could fight for if it killed her. This was a problem with a solution. This was something she could do.

For a long moment, she only stood quietly, watching Ras'K, listening, her expression one of unexpected understanding. She'd never been as intuitive as Rora and Siya. Lyra's life was one of detail and hard facts. But Rask had changed all that. He'd shown her things beyond what she could see and touch, and right now, she watched his double play a part so well, she doubted she'd have ever noticed anything awry, were she not Bonded to Rask.

Or perhaps not. There was pain clear in every motion. Pain and fear and desperation, all the things she'd become accustomed to in the last several weeks. Lyra knew what it was to hide, to play tough when you quivered inside. She remembered how it felt, what it was like, the relief tinged with hurt and hopelessness that came with mounting a front over fresh wounds. Ras'K played a tough hand.

But she knew that game far too well.

For a minute, just a minute, Lyra was herself again, that distant, resolute duty-fulfiller she had been before Rask taught her how to feel again. And maybe there was a touch of something else there.

She was completely calm, impassive as she put herself between the two, her head just barely grazing identical chins, and completely unperturbed by the height difference. It was, after all, Rask. He couldn't have hurt her even if he'd wanted to.

Her back was to him, to Rask now, pressed close, because she wanted to touch him, to hold him, to protect him. But she faced Ras'K, understanding more even than she'd ever have thought possible. She didn't know what had happened, couldn't guess, and didn't think she'd ever want to find out. But she knew that look. And she knew the more he hid, the more he hurt.

And when she was ready -- when he was ready -- she stepped forward and traced a feather-light fingertip over one of those scars.

"It doesn't work that way for you, either," she said. Her voice was not unkind, but neither was it gentle. She was firm, unrelenting in her gaze. Both Rask and Ras'K, she knew, would understand that, even if they couldn't appreciate it.

"Pretending it never happened doesn't make anything disappear."

 

[Kaisaan]

The brush of her hair against his skin sent Ras'K nearly leaping back with a hiss before he regained control of himself again, watching Rask and Lyra with hard, blank eyes that couldn't hide everything as his double didn't hesitant to calm for the Keeper with nothing but her touch alone, arms coming around her waist and chin coming to rest on her head as his green eyes watched Ras'K just as intently as Ras'K did Rask.

The anger wasn't forgotten, but it was tempered, under control again with just a simple move on Lyra's part and both males made no move to harm her, to correct her interference, both for their own reasons, but perhaps their underlying reason not so different. They both felt Lyra differently, though. Lyra was connected to Rask's personality, his memories and he could read her thoughts, feel her emotions, predict her actions in his state they were in far better than Ras'K could.

Even in Asesee's mind - and the female Aavan was nowhere to be seen even as her mind continued to by their safe haven - Rask knew his Bonded enough to understand what she wanted when he simply let himself feel her, no talking, no questioning. And such was what he did now, sensing that she had some confidence about what to do that he lacked. He was too close to the situation. All he could see was a stranger that wore his face, that was sending him images and experiences he didn't want to remember, to see.

Someone who wanted to take over his life....even as it HAD been his life. It was confusing and jumbled, a mess he didn't know how to start dealing with...and so he let Lyra go when he sensed she wanted to move forward and he watched his double with a mixture of question and wariness.

But he trusted his mate and he would let her do as she felt was right because Ras'K was him, whether he liked it or not, and he'd told Lyra, had promised and meant it when he'd said that he was hers, that he trusted her.

He did, even with the him he didn't know.

--

He'd not expected it even as Ras'K knew he should have. If he'd been a little more open to Lyra's mind, if he'd paid more attention, if he'd had a bit more of a guard up against her specifically, he would have known what she was going to do, could have stepped away, not allowed it. But he hadn't done any of those things and therefore was unprepared for what Lyra did.

Ras'K had expected anger, had anticipated her lashing out for attacking the Rask she knew, the one she cared about. He'd let her approach, bracing himself, ready for the pain....but she'd brought something else entirely. Understanding. He could see it in her steady gaze and it astounded him. She brought softness, a whispering touch that brought not harm but a ghosting echo of warmth, care, pleasure. It caused his eyes to close for a moment in pure acceptance, relief, just for a moment before his own reaction seemed to awaken a memory and green eyes shot open, flooding gold before Ras'K jolted back with a snarl.

"Don't touch me!"

His voice shook.

He hated it.

He hated that her words had gotten into his head just as much as her touch now seemed to linger over his skin. He hated that her eyes seemed to see right through him and it scared the living crap out of Ras'K.

So why did he want to trust her?

He shook his head almost violently, gold hair wild about his head as he took another step back, something having cracked in his shield at the simple touch. Just one gentle touch as if it was the most profound thing in the world.

And it was.

"Don't fight it." Rask's voice was sudden, but while firm, it was also quieter, bracing itself just as Ras'K did - not knowing if he was not supposed to fight Lyra or the memory...or both? - as the memory was pulled from the dark storm above and engulfed them all.

--

A crack of flesh against flesh filled the cold, metal room and a thud followed, a groan soon after.

The child - about eight years - struggled to rise, blood spraying from his mouth as he coughed, his hand slipping in the red liquid, sending him back to the ground with a whimper before a large hand hauled him up by his shirt, eliciting a short, faint cry of pain as pressure was put on his chest, his ribs.

He found his feet instinctively, though, as he was nearly dropped and then his body was dropping, rolling away before he came back up again as he narrowly avoided being round-house kicked in the shoulder. His trainer frowned as the child wavered on his feet, blond hair matted to his head with sweat and blood both.

"You're not trying hard enough, Ras'K." the older Aavan accused and the child trembled as his trainer moved forward, giving the signal that Ras'K was not to move as the older male inspected him, his hands anything but gentle as he prodded the small Aavan's chest, looking over his bruises and cuts with an impassive expression. Finally he moved back, eyes hard.

"You're weak. I expect more from a Danarik with your test results. Again!"

The child flinched at the words before doing his best to hide the reaction, merely nodding as he took up a stance again and braced himself for more pain.

--

Twenty-two years later and he'd come to accept the pain, to expect it, to want it. The pain was the only form of contact he had or the contact right before pain. He knew it was wrong, twisted, but it was all he had. It was what he'd been driven to.

No one touched him. Not a hand on the shoulder to convey understanding. No hug, no comfort when he was miserable from the drugs. No one took his hand when the mental training became too much and he felt he'd never escape his own head. No hand carded through his hair when his body hurt so badly he could barely move.

Cold metal, cold voices, cold words, cold discipline, cold precision. That was all he knew.

They meant to break his will - or at least see if they could do so, how far he'd stretch before he snapped, how much pressure he could withstand. How long he could last with such deprivation of something his kind needed so much.

Touch.

The touch of a hand, of scales, of muzzles, foreheads. A touch of a mind against his own, the touch of a voice within his mind. He was left without both, forbidden from both....unless it brought pain. They'd trained him well. If offered a gentle gesture, he'd refuse it, no matter who it was from. He'd learned long ago that the fleeting warmth, comfort it brought was not worth it. Not when the punishment was ten times worse than what he was used to. When he gave in to the urge to just feel something other than this steel, cold existence that was his world, he paid for it so he stopped accepting the kinder touch.

They'd started offering such temptations in the last year again, testing his commitment, his strength. Pushing him just a little more, testing his resolve just a little further. Because they had to. He was their last chance.

They tortured, trained, drove him to the edges of his breaking point so that maybe, just maybe, in the past their future could be saved.

--

Rask gasped, tears streaking down his face as his eyes snapped to Ras'K in horror, remembering, feeling what the other had experienced - what HE'D experienced but had simply forgotten - feeling like he'd fallen into a nightmare, but knowing it was real. He wanted to tell his double to stop, that he didn't want to see anymore, but Lyra had been right.

Pretending it didn't happen wasn't going to make everything disappear. It was there, causing agony to them both, hindering the Bond, destroying him little by little. No, Rask knew he had to view it, to remember it and his head rose, words of encouragement for Ras'K to continue on his tongue, but he didn't say that as he took in his double.

Ras'K was not looking at either him or Lyra. His eyes were closed, his teeth clenched so hard a muscle in his face jumped consistently with the pressure and his hands were curled into tight fists, his body trembling subtly before he seemed to take a slow draw of breath and opened his eyes, looking at not Rask, but Lyra.

He said nothing, not a word, but his green eyes spoke loud enough, challenging her. This is just the beginning, they seemed to say, and they clearly waited for a response, an excuse to draw away again.

 

[DotCom]

If pressed to describe the feeling, she'd have liked it, perhaps, to her bones being pulled through her skin.

It wasn't just pain, though pain may have made up the bulk of it. But the pain felt nearly impossible to focus on through everything else. There was a queasy sort of feeling to it that made her hair stand up on her neck, the sort of thing that even just hearing about made your stomach churn. There was a feeling of tension, too, a heaviness that said, "Fighting back will only make the pain come faster." There was a feeling of the removal of structure, a weakness that was, was becoming inherent. And there was that feeling, overall, of undoing. Of unbecoming what you were, melting away into a forgettable puddle of nothingness.

Like bones being pulled through skin.

When they came out of the vision, Lyra didn't move. Rask stood behind her, trembling, crying; Ras'K in front of her, silent, stricken. He had learned to suffer in silence. But Lyra said, moved nothing. She stared through Rask, slowly trying to find herself again, separate as she was from feeling anything at all, though the sensation of that unbecoming would not leave. Vaguely, she thought she might be sick, as if retching would help anything at all.

No. The idea here was to fix, to do. That had already been decided.

But behind that numbness, a terrible something was rising, an oily, treacherous something she had not seen in a long time.

Lyra shut her eyes and exhaled slowly. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken a breath.

Later, she promised herself indulgently. Later. There will be time later.

Now...there was no point in obliterating a symptom when the disease raged on.

When she opened her eyes, Ras'K was staring at her, a challenge even in and of himself. And Lyra had never shied away from a challenge.

Her expression didn't change. She nodded once, brisk, terse, then swallowed hard.

"Okay," she said quietly. "One step at a time. I'm not afraid. I can protect you." Without turning, she reached back, brushed a hand over Rask's, scarlet soothing trembling gold in her mind. "I can protect both of you. Nothing you show me could be worse than..."

She trailed off there, her voice falling out of that stoic monotone for just a moment. She didn't take her eyes from her mate's double.

"Go on."

 

[Kaisaan]

Lyra's state, her voice, instantly worried Rask, but Ras'K seemed to understand what his second personality could not grasp; this was Lyra's way of dealing with something she could not wrap her mind around adequately enough. This was her way to compartmentalize until she could get a solid hold on the situation and then go back into the details...if she ever went back for the details at all. Once they were stored away, they were so much easier to just leave alone.

He knew that by experience, a great deal of experience, but right now, he felt close to losing any semblance of control. She wanted to see more. She hadn't left him alone, flinched away and gone back to Rask, had claimed she could help BOTH of them. It confused Ras'K greatly and he found himself taking a step back before stopping, his pulse rapid as he longed to just push everything away again.

And that was where Rask's part the personality came in for he wouldn't let himself do that - not truly, hence all the problems - and he certainly wouldn't let someone he loved, like Lyra, do it.

It would take aspects of all three of them to create the balance the Bond was striving to get them toward. Right now, though, it was Ras'K task to bring Rask to heel, his sharp green eyes catching sight of his double's even as Rask opened his mouth to protest, to find out what was wrong with his Bonded. A silent message went between the two gold Aavan, Ras'K warning the other to back down and Rask giving reluctant assent, but giving his own challenge in demanding Ras'K do as Lyra wanted.

"From the beginning."

A growl, low and chilling, was his answer, but Ras'K drew another memory down around them and all three were lost to the whims of the images and the sensations they brought once more.

--

"You are going to be our last Danarik and our youngest. Did you know that, Ras'K?"

The six year old Aavan nodded eagerly as he looked down at the ground below, carried securely on the back of the mottled blue-purple Aavan, a female, who'd come to collect him from his parents. He didn't know why his mother and father had looked so sad to see him leave - he told them he'd be back after he was done! - but he hardly thought about it right now, too excited and eager to see where he was going.

"You tested the highest of all the children your age and even above some of the children twice your age. Do you know what that means?"

Ras'K shook his head, shaggy blond hair whipping around in the wind as the blue-purple Aavan started to descend toward well-guarded disc, a great glimmering building welcoming them, or so it appeared to the young eyes that took it in. "No." he whispered in answer and the blue-purple Aavan landed even as she explained, looking back at her new charge.

"It means you are going to travel through Time."

Green eyes grew huge in a small face and Ras'K's excited smile could have rivaled the suns.

--

It had been fun at first.

They'd tested him further, simple questions, activities, problem solving, in-evasive mind Programs and Ras'K excelled in nearly every one. They praised him, told him all the wonderful things he'd do, how important he was and he loved it. What child wouldn't?

But the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, and Ras'K wanted his parents. He wanted to see his friends, family, to go back to his Teacher and play again. He kept asking to see his mother and father and always he was redirected, no answer given. His frustration grew and with it went his compliance.

And then everything changed.

--

By the time he was ten, he knew he'd never seen his family again. He'd never play like a child again. He'd never know a genuine word, one not wrapped in manipulation to get him to do something or not to, again. He'd never feel a touch that warmed him, that did more than examine, poke, prod and harm him. He'd never know anything but his training.

By the time he was fifteen, he no longer cried. The nightmares didn't wake him in screaming fits. Each bone in his body had been broken at least once - some during fights, others purposely, to make him understand what it felt like, how to cope if it ever happened. He'd beaten four of his trainers in sparring and was slowly gaining on his fifth. He'd not mind-spoken to anyone in seven years, had not reached out to touch another consciousness for the punishment when he had...it hadn't been worth it. Ras'K, at fifteen, knew it never would be worth it.

He knew he'd never have freedom again.

His life was the building he'd so admired nine years ago. Steel walls and metal floors, blocking him from the elements, making him work for every drop of water that kept his gift alive, making him understand that hardship never ended. It just got less intense in short intervals.

"Ras'K."

Very short.

Green eyes, hard as flint, looked back over a bare shoulder, the teen's expression guarded as the mottled, blue-purple Aavan - he'd long ago learned her name was Nev'V - typed in the code that opened the glass door of his 'room'. Every wall was made of glass, a giant observation room and he was the specimen on display. Ras'K stilled his pacing and stood somewhere between 'attention' and 'hostile' as the female approached. Nev'V didn't bother to wait for him to speak. He wouldn't.

He got in trouble when he did.

"Cen'R is putting you on permanent Program training for the next six months. You're to report to him immediately."

Ras'K paled under his gold-hued skin, the briefest flare of terrified panic igniting in his eyes before he smothered it instinctively. He moved from the room without a word once he was let out and headed toward where he'd been directed, aware of the guards that followed at a distance, ready to subdue him should he fall out of line.

And Ras'K was tempted to.

He was to be in the Program for six months. He'd barely survived two months of intermittent training, and to think of going through six months of his mind being subjected to training with no breaks in between... Ras'K expelled what little was in his stomach in the hallway, wincing as he felt the guards haul him up and toward his destination, knowing that they'd report this to Cen'R and the green-red Aavan would not be understanding or merciful in his reprimand.

No one gave him any mercy for weakness.

--

His mind burned, raw and blistered after six months of hallucinations, manipulated emotions, disembodied voices, thought-plantation and mental endurance training. He'd nearly broken under it all and Ras'K knew that if they'd pushed him any further, he would have. It was a chilling knowledge for two reasons, and only one of those reasons seemed important.

They controlled him, completely. They knew how to break him and it was only by their choice that he was still lucid, still functioning.

He wasn't strong enough to accomplish the task he needed to do.

The latter thought was the most important and yet somehow it seemed wrong that it would be the most important issue to him, but when he tried to figure out why, pain erupted in his head and Ras'K shied away from the thought. He shied away from any thought that didn't pertain to his goal. He knew anything else was false, distraction.

That was what they'd taught him, would continue to teach him.

He was a Protector, a Guardian. He was to travel into the past to protect the twins, to secure their future. That was his goal. That was his life. That and nothing else. And his Trainers would help him get ready for that. He had to trust them, no matter how painful it was. He knew that and most of him accepted it, but there was still a part of himself that screamed and fought within his mind to escape the damage the Program had done, was still doing.

Ras'K knew that part of him would soon become nothing and he couldn't bring himself to care.

--

At thirty, fifteen years later, Ras'K had become skilled, cold, deadly. He was controllable, a soldier to his core, ready to follow orders and only one objective in his mind above all else. His mind was hardened to any and all forms of relationship, seeing them as a weakness and he barely thought about his family, about those around him.

He wasn't going to be staying anyway. He'd been given his assignment, after twenty-four years, he was finally traveling through Time.

--

It was agony, his very essence being ripped apart as he was sent hurtling into the past. His mind stripped away, making everything clear, unraveling so that he could see his entire life play out before him, understand what had happened to him....and Ras'K screamed until everything went silent and dark, and warm.

He knew, for a brief moment, that he was in a womb, had materialized there. He knew his whole life in utter clarity, every lie, every manipulation, every unreasonable thing done to him...and then it was all fading, he was fading as his mind locked itself away and gave rise to a new life.

Even his objective was tucked away, only waiting for the right moment to emerge once more.

--

There was utter silence when the memories cleared.

Rask and Ras'K both were both shuttering in pain, shock, fear. Remembering the weapons that had peirced flesh, the drugs that had wreaked havoc in their systems, the horror of knowing they couldn't trust their own minds, tricked over and over and over again into believing they were safe only to have it ripped away again in the Programs, to know nothing of love, tenderness, comfort for twenty-four years...it was torture of its own.

Just remembering it was agony.

They were both relieved when it ended and Rask was crying silently, his hand holding Lyra's tightly, her very presence keeping him from shattering. Ras'K stood alone, though, just as he'd always done, but he looked ready to fall apart. His shields wavered, cracking, but he refused to let them go. He refused to release them when he didn't know what would happen if he did.

His voice was rasped, as if he'd been screaming - and maybe he had - when he spoke.

"That's all. That's it. There's...there's no more."

 

[DotCom]

There were things -- so many, many things -- Lyra was supposed to be.

Confused, probably. What she saw didn't make sense. How could Rask? -- Ras'K? -- have images, dreams, memories of a future that didn't exist yet? What kind of future was it where he had been younger than he was now, had never, apparently met her, or had any brothers, never known Mori, Rora, any of the Cerebrae? The thought should have scared her, should have unnerved her. And then it should have confused, excited, fascinated her. The implications were endless. Time travel, future species. Where the the Cerebrae? How had they evolved? How far was it, what else did Ras'K know? How had the Aavan gained such technology without the help of the Cerebrae? Or was this a different future altogether.

She realized vaguely she should have been taking notes. Siya would want to know. Siya wouldn't have needed to take notes. Sometimes -- many times -- she thought Siya was better for the job in every way Lyra was wrong.

She was probably supposed to be comforting him now, comforting both of them, soft words and soft touch, her mind whirring as she decided what she had to say to unify them and undo the horrors they had suffered. She was supposed to be overcome with pity, with grief. Disgust, perhaps, at the treatment of a child, though those early days, at least, were perhaps not so different from Cerebrae youth.

She was supposed to be different for him, better for him. She wanted to stop the pain and the fear. She wanted to hold him and tell him it was okay. She was supposed to be good.

But she could only feel that awful, desperate rage rising in her again.

She was surprised how much it ached. It made her feel too small for herself, too weak, too useless to hold herself together in face of an anger that tore her through her an animal. She was fire and venom, she was chaos and hate. It hurt to stand still, it hurt to stand by and watch someone she loved torn to pieces inside and out, knowing she could have -- should have -- prevented it, and now was expected to do nothing.

It made her want to scream.

She didn't. She knew if she did, if she even began to move, she would never be whole again.

She stood still, quiet, hardly even daring to breathe, for almost a minute when Ras'K pulled them back out of the vision. The scarlet of her mind did what it could to soothe both the light and dark gold, earnest in its efforts, but removed, knowing its strength had gone to something else.

Lyra made herself stand still, knees locked, unmoving, until she felt light headed from lack of air. Her grip on Rask's hand was weak. She was afraid if she clutched him, even just a little bit, she would hurt him. And if she did that, the rage would turn inward, and she would not survive that. If she didn't, then neither would Rask.

No, this was a practice in self-control. Was she not a Keeper? Had she not trained for this? Had she not, like young Ras'K, learned the danger in feeling? If she exposed herself to this creature inside her, neither she, nor Rask, nor even Ras'K would survive it. She would not be responsible again for his pain.

When at last she felt she had a leash on the anger, tenuous though it was, she opened her eyes and gasped a shaky breath. Beside her, Rask was crying. She could feel dull echoes of pain riding up and down her spine, churning her stomach, turning her head into a pounding drum. She longed to comfort him, to touch him, to hold him, and take him away from this place -- only this place, she knew, this grief, this pain, was inescapable. She could not comfort him, not truly, until she had found all those who had made him hurt.

But she could try. It would be some time before she had her relief, but it did not mean Rask could not have his.

She exhaled again, then turned and smiled at Rask, looking remarkably, believably serene. Ras'K had been right. She could put away that part of herself, that monstrous rage. She had beat it back into its cage where it would stay until at least she could free it. Even the thought of relief, of that unimaginable release of pressure, made her shudder. She balanced there, her free hand outstretched, hovering halfway between Rask and herself, toeing the line between pain and pleasure, loss and control.

No. No. She could not give in yet. Rask needed her. Ras'K needed her. And he had seen enough pain to last him a lifetime. Two lifetimes.

She growled the order to herself, closed her eyes, took a breath. A whimper threatened at the back of her throat. She swallowed it. She longed to do something, to bring back the pain that had cleared her mind before. But she could not remove her hand from Rask's.

So be it. That, too, would come later.

The thought lent a mild relief, and when she opened her eyes for a second time, she could see clearly.

She closed the space between them in a single step, dropping his hand to wrap both arms around his neck. She had to stand on her toes to tuck rest her chin on his shoulder, letting him bury his face in the crook of her neck. It was like nothing she'd ever done before, and yet it felt completely natural. The sort of thing the other Keepers might have mocked her for. The sort of thing she would have fought them over. Her ear, her cheek, was pressed against the side of his head. She could hear him breathing, sobbing, hitching breaths that made her want to hold him tighter, made her want to protect him from everything -- everything -- that wasn't her.

Her hands found his back, one idly tracing patterns along his spine, the other coming up to brace against his shoulder, holding him secure against her.

She said nothing -- there was nothing to say -- but let the scarlet wander their minds, filling in the empty, dark spaces between the light and dark gold, between the gold and scarlet, soothing, comforting, protecting. There was no hint of the deadly rage that had been, and Lyra found she had even fooled herself.

As soon she felt safe to pull away from Rask -- though her mind stayed coiled close to his -- she stepped back and put a hand flat against his chest, over his heart, reminding herself he was still there with the feel of his heart beating against her palm. She braced herself there and leaned in and kissed him, deep and hard, as possessive as it was gentle, meant to inspire as much as it was to comfort.

"I love you," she told him quietly, just for his ears. "No one can ever take that from you. I'll kill them first."

And then she stepped away, her fingers trailing down his arm, to look at Ras'K, her expression calm, somewhere between curiosity and pity. Her words to him were private, too.

"I don't know what they told you about me. About Programs. But whatever you think I am, you're wrong." She paused, studying him, his face, then, to even her own surprise, she smiled.

"Do you think I don't know you? Do you think I don't understand? I don't know why they sent you back, but if that's what you think, they did an awful job teaching you about Cerebrae. About Keepers." She studied him a moment longer, then took a careful step forward.

"Let me help. I can help." She jerked an almost playful thumb over her shoulder, toward Rask. She missed him already, she realized. "You can ask him. If you don't let me, I'll make you let me. I won't let you go. Not...not unless that's what you want." She stepped closer again, head tilted to one side. She had never been intuitive...and yet this Ras'K she could read like a book. A tragedy.

"But it isn't. I know that look, Ras'K. I can feel it. You put up a good front, but you just want...you want softness. You want warmth. All that stuff they told you you weren't supposed to want, everything you're afraid to trust." Another step. "It's worth it. I know you think it isn't. I know why. I get it. And you're right. Being wrong -- trusting wrong -- it hurts. But you're not wrong. Not about this. Not about me. I can be right for you, Ras'K. I can be good. You can trust me. It's worth it. The warmth. The touch. The love. You...you don't think it is, but it is." She stopped walking, chewed her lip. Realized she was begging suddenly. Somehow. Good? How could she be good? For anyone?

A flash of uncertainty passed over her face. Fear. Shyness. She looked back at Rask for a long moment, as if seeking affirmation. What right did she have -- what right did she have at all -- to talk to anyone about love?

Then she looked back to Ras'K again. "It changes you, love," she said slowly, unable to look at him as a blush crept up her neck and cheeks and into her hair. "It does. But it doesn't make you weaker. It's like...like a reward for the trust. And you get in what you put out." She took a final step, leaving just half a foot between Ras'K and herself.

"You can trust me." She looked behind her and back. She could be good. She had to be good. She had to help. "I love him. I love you. Let me help."

 

[Kaisaan]

They both feared - and it would only be later that they realized they BOTH had been afraid of the same thing - that they'd lost Lyra.

Her anger - no, her RAGE - swept over them like a wave, distant and yet still hair-raising, like the electrical currents before a fierce storm. It cancelled out any half-attempts at comforting that the remaining scarlet tried and the light gold threads flinched away from Lyra's presence anyway. No, there was no soothing to be had here as they both watched the Keeper with rapt attention, hardly daring to breathe. Ras'K didn't even know why it mattered, but it did. Her reactions mattered so much that both Rask and Ras'K felt the fragile, treacherous balance that had been bought in memories of screams, agony and terror start to tip, to waver and it was only when the Cerebra came back to her senses, to them, that their entire world stopped shaking.

Rask saw her smile, but he knew that she wasn't calm, not truly. She'd pushed the fury away, buried it deep, but it was still trying to resurge. He wanted to calm it, to help her, but nothing in his mind would allow it right now, too raw, too fragile, too unstable to do anything but hold on to the frail understanding and half-acceptance it had come to.

So it was that when Lyra finally seemed to find some control over her own mind, Rask didn't question it, knowing it was selfish and yet also knowing that he'd do the same for his Bonded if he could. It hurt him to know that right now, he truly couldn't, but Lyra's touch soothed that away almost immediately as she drew him in and Rask didn't stop her, didn't protest.

He simply held the Keeper and he cried for all that happened, for all that could have been and was lost, for Ras'K and himself, for Lyra. He cried until the warmth of the scarlet overwhelming his mind in such a good way soothed away even the need to shed tears and Rask started to breathe easier, deeper, calming under her influence and her hypnotic fingers until his mate could step away and his green eyes could meet her tangerine. She was so calm and whether it was fake or not, right now the gold Aavan needed it and his body shivered under her palm, no longer in fear or grief, but in acknowledgement of her touch.

The kiss made the dark gold of his mind shudder in ecstasy - mind kisses did that and this was their first - but the action, the emotions and words that were conveyed along the scarlet lulled the sunlight threads into a relaxed state that didn't protest when the Keeper drew away physically, goosebumps rising under her trailing fingers until she moved on completely.

Rask let her, his eyes moving to Ras'K as well, but he didn't hear what Lyra said to that part of himself. He didn't need to. She would help him, all of him, and that was all that mattered. He loved her, trusted her with everything he was and now he could accept that Ras'K was more of what he was than Rask himself could ever be alone.

--

Ras'K watched Lyra with Rask and he felt a stab of pain so deep that it shocked him. He hadn't thought anything could hurt him like that again, but he'd been wrong and now he clenched his teeth and swallowed back the keening whimper in his throat, his frayed, splintered shields trying to wrap around the new injury and failing, too thin, too damaged to even truly help him anymore, though, he still refused to release them.

He should not have expected any different.

He was the core personality, the true essence of the gold Aavan. He was everything both good and bad, bright and ugly, and Rask was a shadow of that. He was a personality built off of Ras'K, bits and pieces of the original, perhaps even what Ras'K could have been if his life had been different. Rask was the bits and pieces of good in Ras'K.....and it should not have hurt so much to see Lyra choosing that version, the one she was familiar with, over the original.

Ras'K told himself it shouldn't hurt, was to be expected...but it didn't stop the pain and the vicious voices deep within him said his Trainers had been right. It wasn't worth it. Relationships were not worth it, especially ones that involved love. The voices whispered as much, reminding, slowly starting to drag him back down, his image flickering as he let them....and then Lyra was facing him, smiling, speaking and Ras'K could not leave as her voice drowned out all the others.

She spoke his own heart into his ears and with each step closer, he trembled, her words piercing right through his shields as if they didn't exist. It terrified Ras'K even as he found himself drawn to it, soaking in her words as the desert would water as the realization came to him that she'd not turned away from him, she'd not chosen Rask over him. And even when the Keeper stopped, looking back to his double, Ras'K knew it was for his sake that she did so and something within him lurched, trying to break free, to meet his mate halfway. It only got stronger when he saw Rask smile a little, nodding, encouraging Lyra that what she was doing was right.

And it was.

Ras'K could feel that it was as the other voices tried to claw at him, drag him back. He fought them, looking down into the tangerine eyes that looked back up at him, his own green waging a war within their depths, something needed to push the scales...and then she said something that did.

I love you.

The entire world seemed to tilt as those three words hit him, spread, curled around his thoughts and Ras'K forgot to breathe as something became clear to him.

He didn't want to fight it anymore. He didn't want to be constantly at war with himself. He didn't want to go back into the dark, deep recesses of his own mind. He didn't want to feel the pain and the loneliness so acute he could barely breathe past it anymore. He didn't want to be scared and Lyra was telling him he didn't have to be, that she could fix it.

Ras'K hadn't felt hope in a long time, barely knew what it was anymore, but in that moment he felt it flare within him, a painful thing that strove against the overwhelming hurt and darkness, struggled to survive as it sought the light, the help that would grow it into something far more powerful, far more beautiful.

And he knew it could come from Lyra, just not how. The desire to have it, though, to leave this nightmare, to be free was building and the gold Aavan looked at the Keeper before him with something almost frantic in his dilated green eyes, so scared that she'd retract her offer and it drove him to what he did next without thought.

Ras'K snarled as his mouth captured Lyra's with a primal savageness, a passion that held nothing soft, nothing patient or tender in the action. There was only need and his hands wrapped around her upper arms, roughly pulling her body against his, but it was not hate or anger or even lust that drove him. It was desperation and fear, it was a lack of understanding about how to achieve or convey what he really wanted, needed. He was fierce, broken, hurt and trying to accept what would help him, but not knowing how.

And then Rask was there.

Ras'K felt the hands that touched his shoulders like a jolt had run through his very essence and he found that the tension there started to ease. And then the same touch, his own touch, guiding with a patience Ras'K had long forgotten was on his hands, loosening the grip of his fingers, silently, wordlessly explaining that he held on too tightly. Lyra wasn't going to leave. A touch on his back told him to not be so rigid, to let his body accept the Keeper's, to mold to her own and then a touch to his head eased the fierceness, the demand of the kiss, teaching him once again what gentleness was and showing him how to savor the feel of his mate's lips against his own and the taste of spice that could come from only her.

And Ras'K felt tears trail down his face, the first in years, as his shields crumbled away completely and his mind opened up to the healing, the care, the love the scarlet offered.

Trusting.

 

[DotCom]

She didn't speak, she didn't think, she didn't move. She simply waited, and while she waited, she let her mind wander.

There was no real thought at first. There were feelings, reactions, but not thought.

Lyra hadn't moved when Ras'K lunged forward, some small, instinctive part of her mind recognizing the grave error behind the small action, the rest of her mind simply unafraid. It wasn't that he was unable to hurt her -- Lyra was strong, and fast, but she knew she couldn't fight back against her Bonded, not this version of him, so hurt, so afraid, so broken. He could have killed her, if he wanted, and she'd have let him gladly, if she'd thought it would help.

But she knew he wouldn't. She just stood there, calm, patient, her eyes holding his until she was too close to see him, and then she closed her eyes and let her mind close around his. Scarlet swarmed light and dark gold both, covering, caressing, protecting, healing ancient wounds. Frayed strands of gold were worn thin under years of strain, stretched taught by a longing gone too long unheeded. She didn't know how she knew what to do. There was no reason she did -- she certainly hadn't known anything else, and she somehow knew if she tried to fix anything, she would only hurt him, make it worse. So, she let instinct take over, guiding the scarlet in soft crimson waves, the colors blending like a sunset, or a warm fire.

She said nothing, thought nothing as she stood, simply letting him feel her, body and mind. And there was pleasure, too. He held her roughly, too tight, fear and anger and desperation sweeping together to make him...different. Different than Rask. But then he had always been different, and though she had just 'met' him, she knew her love for him was no stronger or weaker than her love for Rask. It didn't change the way her heart beat faster when he touched her. It didn't change the way she felt her face flush when they kissed. It was lucky she wasn't thinking. She might have tried to pull away otherwise.

But now, she just stood and enjoyed it, pouring that happiness and content and love -- even the shyness behind it all -- into those loosening strands of gold.

She didn't move until she felt Ras'K move, Rask behind him, guiding gently, the two of him finally, finally coming together for a single purpose, the Bond finally blossoming under Rask's gentle care and instruction.

When his grip on her arms loosed, she wrapped them carefully around his neck.

When she felt the tension go out of her body, she curled forward on instinct, filling the negative space between them with her hips, her stomach, her thighs.

When she felt him ease into the kiss, the touch becoming less desperate, less afraid, more tentative, she gave back the love and assurance Rask had sent without a word.

She loved him. She wasn't leaving. There was nothing to fear.

And then he fell apart in her arms, and just as she had done with Rask, so she did with Ras'K, quietly waiting, holding him, soothing with her mind and her touch, promising she would never let anyone hurt him again.

And when she thought she could speak without pushing him away again, she spoke into his mind, unwilling to break the kiss.

I told you, she taunted gently. I love you. And I'm not going anywhere.

 

[Kaisaan]

Her words elicited a soft sob from Ras'K, the sound muffled against her lips, but it was soon followed by relieved laughter, equally as quiet and gasping, but there as he finally pulled back from the kiss and brought his forehead to her own. It was a gesture he'd not been allowed to do in years and the fact that the first person he was initiating the contact with was his mate made it all the more meaningful. The fact that the tears wouldn't stop and he could stop shaking didn't seem to matter, not when he was in Lyra's presence.

Why had the Trainers kept him from this?

He didn't feel weak even as he knew he was acting that way. No, he felt....whole and it was the most heady, strengthening feeling in the world. He could feel the light gold strands of his mind accepting the scarlet, wrapping slowly around the vibrant red, discovering just how soothing they were, feeling the healing that flowed from them. It was a new experience, intoxicating and overwhelming and Ras'K wanted to stay, feeling it forever, but at the same time, he had to draw back and eventually did. His breathing was shaky, but there was no fear in his expression and something had softened in his eyes as he looked at Lyra.

The smile that came to his face was slow and truly shy, but he held her gaze until a touch on his shoulder drew his attention to Rask who was looking between the two with a small smile of his own. Green eyes met green and the two simply looked at each other for a long moment, suddenly able to see - through Lyra's influence on them both - the similarities in each other. They both smiled at the same time, identical expressions - something between amused and disbelieving, before Ras'K shook his head, blond hair falling into his eyes as he looked down before looking back up again, questioning.

"I suppose it's time, isn't it?"

Rask nodded slowly, quiet. "There really isn't any reason for us not to, is there?"

Ras'K looked to Lyra instantly and Rask followed his gaze, both of them studying the Keeper for a moment before they looked back at each other, an understanding reached and Ras'K held his hand out, palm forward. There was acceptance in his expression and Rask's mirrored it as he brought his hand up as well and without a word, he made contact with his double. Two sets of eyes drifted closed and it was Ras'K who started to shimmer, to disappear, but he didn't simply vanish as the darker gold strands that belonged to Rask started to lighten just slightly, finding a shade somewhere in-between the dark and light strands.

Rask's eyes only opened when Ras'K had faded completely and a jolt traveled through his body, his mind like a wave as words whispered through the deepest parts of his mind.

"Thank you."

The Aavan's eyes shown gold for a moment before that too faded and the familiar green made its appearance once more. They slowly found tangerine eyes then and Rask moved slowly, coming toward the Keeper until he could reach out and touch her, his hand finding her face, thumb brushing against her jawline.

In his eyes was the gentleness, the devotion and love that had always been part of Rask, but also the haunted shadow of memory, the hard savageness of a feral creature and the determined will that had kept Ras'K alive. And when he smiled...there was just a hint of a smirk in the expression, his core personality peeking out from within the newer one.

"Cefnarai, my Cefnarai." the gold Aavan crooned softly before his lips met the Keeper's again, tender and sensual at once as he drew her close in a wordless gesture of gratefulness and love.

 

[DotCom]

She had known when she chose to block it out that the anger, her rage, her fear, her hate and self-loathing, had been too great to simply disappear, and she had reconciled it.

But even Lyra was surprised when, for a moment, just a moment, she forgot it all in the face of a joy, a relief, she had never expected.

When at last Ras'K had pulled back, she had followed him for a step without even realizing it, an unspoken promise of the depth of the kiss from both ends. She had meant to help him, yes, but she so loved being near him, as well. Touching him, feeling his strength, his warmth under her fingers. She did not think she could ever get enough of just reminding herself he was here, whole. Hers.

But she let him step back, watching quietly, equal parts reverent and expectant, half an ounce of concern lingering on the edge of her mind. She did not think she would ever lose that. She could feel the stability in his mind, in both their minds, and she trusted they were alright for the moment. But it did not change what had happened. He had still been taken from her over and over and over again. He had still suffered so much. And she was terrified she could not keep her promise that he would suffer no more.

No, the fear, the guilt would never leave her. But she could ignore it as she watched the two together, no longer tense, wary, but content, even smiling, and it filled her heart to see it. She felt so happy, so relieved, it nearly ached, and Lyra once more found herself holding her breath to keep from shrieking with it -- a bone-deep delight this time. He was back. For now, at least, she had him back.

Their problems were still not over, of course. Even without the monsters who had beaten and broken him, there was still the fact that Ras'K had existed, and with him a world, a future Lyra could make no sense of. What had they been training him for? What had they sent him back to do? For a moment, her mind flashed back to the first day of Rora's false labor, what Rask had done, the strange sensation that had taken over his mind. He had been thinking it over and over as they strode quickly to the delivery room -- protect the twins.

Rora's children? The would be offspring of a Cerebrae and Aavanian legend combined? It seemed...too fantastical to be true, too far-fetched, the stuff of dreams and fairy tales. And yet, the same had been said of the Maiden before the war.

Perhaps Ras'K would be able to say more on the situation.

Only...she knew suddenly as the two drew together, Ras'K would not be returning with them, or at least, not as he had come. And this was the purpose of their venture, of everything that had happened since the end of the war, and even before it. Lyra watched with a quietly vague understanding as the two halves of the whole became one. She tensed as Ras'K's for began to flicker, but feeling no concern from either Bonded, she made no move to intervene.

She moved only when the separate strands of gold finally merged in her mind, the lighter becoming darker, the darker becoming lighter, both becoming one under the gentle touch of her own mind. And when Rask stepped forward, she moved, too, closing the space between her, feeling her consciousness shudder under his touch.

She might have cried, if she'd been the sort. She felt tired, as if she'd been running for a very long time. But it was the best sort of exhaustion, the type that came after a long day of good work, when you fell into bed knowing all was right with the world.

And it was, she knew. As long as Rask was alright, here, and whole, and hers, she could be okay. Everything could be okay.

Still, she trembled to hear his voice in her head, his tone now gentle as it was passionate, and when he bent his head to kiss her again, she let herself float away on his mind, the scarlet twining forward on undulating waves of love and adoration.

 

[Kaisaan]

When they pulled out of Asesee's mind, it was a darkened sky, night having fallen while they'd been submerged, that greeted their eyes. The world had grown softer in the light of the stars at the six small moons above. The sounds of nocturnal animals rang through the air in a music all its own, but it wasn't the distant animals that Rask's attention went to when he regained his equilibrium after being so long in another's mind. No, it was to Asesee that his green eyes went and the gold Aavan cursed under his breath to see her prone on the ground, dead to the world. He was soon at her side, carefully rolling the female Aavan over and wincing at the blood that had poured from her nose, now dry on her face and having left a brown patch on the ground where her head had been.

"Stupid vevrise. Of all the idiotic..." Rask trailed off into muttering as his fingers found Asesee's temples and his eyes half-shut, lids fluttering as he seemed to search for something and the female Aavan suddenly woke, gasping and coughing as Rask helped her to her side so she wouldn't choke. A sigh left him as Asesee whimpered, bringing her fingers up to her head as it clearly pained her, but her orange eyes flickered from Rask to Lyra, hopeful.

"Did...did it work?"

Rask chuckled just a bit and he nodded, helping Asesee sit up as she growled at the pain that exploded in her mind when she did, an ache that told her she'd done something far beyond her and incredibly foolhardy. But if it had WORKED, she didn't care.

"It worked, yes. It was incredibly dangerous and moronic of you, but it worked." Rask assured her and Asesee smiled faintly, looking to Lyra with the new fondness of a sister. "Good." she whispered and then looked back to her brother, something curious in her eyes as he'd moved to go to his mate, pulling her gently into his arms even as he sat back on the ground. Her back was to his chest now, his arms wrapped securely around her waist and his chin rested on her head, content that way and not about to let her go.

And he suspected she was far too tired to object and the thought rather amused him as the gold curled securely, lovingly around the scarlet, but something fiercely protective about it now, too. Something experienced and fully willing to be ruthless should anything present itself to harm her.

It was that hardness that Asesee sensed now, her mind just brushing her sibling's and it instantly reminded her of what Rask had said to his double in her mind. She watched him with question now, and finally voiced what kept looping through her mind, orange eyes narrowed. "I am not sure what happened in there, why there were two of you and I don't need to know, but Rask, answer me this; why did you claim to be of the Goldstar Family? No such family exists."

Rask growled softly at the question, having been hoping this could wait until morning, but after what Asesee had done, risked to give him and Lyra a safe place to work things out with his mind....he couldn't bring himself to refuse her. The gold Aavan hesitated for a moment, though, his fingers playing absentmindedly with one of Lyra's hands as he thought of the best way to answer Asesee's question. The truth, of course, but....how to give it to her without shocking her completely? Perhaps there wasn't a good way at all. Finally he looked up and answered as calmly and simply as he could, the gold threads of his mind coiling and tensing in nervous fear of rejection.

"Such a family exists where I am from. I..." Rask paused and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply before his green gaze opened once more, drawing on the same kind of strength that had seen him through twenty-four years of hell. "I'm not your brother, Asesee." He dared to look up and saw that the female Aavan was staring at him with wide eyes, but so far seemed to be absorbing what he was saying without protest. Rask held Lyra a little tighter, knowing this information was as much for her as it was for Asesee, but he knew Lyra would not push him away afterward. He had not idea what his 'family' would do.

"I am from a different Time, the future as it could be. I'm one of your descendants."

 

[DotCom]

Lyra waited quiet, as patiently as she could while Rask checked on his sister. Or who he'd thought had been his sister. She felt a jolt of panic threaten to unsettle the almost hazy calm that had overtaken her mind.


Was he alright? She could feel him in her mind, and he didn't feel panicked or unstable, but perhaps he had not given his full consideration to the situation at hand.


He had adopted a new life. Did he understand that? Because as relieved as she was that he was back and whole, she wasn't sure SHE understood everything that had happened. Rask had a new family now, a new past – a strange future. He had been tortured for years, made into something different, something darker, all for a purpose he was just now realizing. Everything he thought he knew had been a lie. And while she had no doubts that he loved her for whatever reason, she also knew she would have given herself over to Ras'K without a moment's hesitation. They had labored for weeks at the Bond, never knowing she had no part in making Rask his whole self.


And now he was here, quietly crouched next to Asesee, waiting for her to wake, and…what? Denounce him? Lyra shuddered as a wave of some emotion she wasn't ready for swept through her mind. Asesee whimpered as she sat up, dazed, and Lyra could feel Rask's exhaustion, sitting beneath the cloud of confusion that had only by some miracle not overtaken him.


Lyra herself…she could not say. She was happy, so happy, Rask was alright. She let her mind float lazily around his, the scarlet touching, holding where it could, calmly caressing, giving quiet assurances of faith and love. That much was true. But aside from Rask, she felt oddly distant, as though she could not hear the rest of her own thoughts. She dared not pull back from the newer, lighter gold strands, nor relax her protective hold around them. The scarlet still swirled with a quiet fury on the outer reaches of her mind, waiting for someone, something to try and hurt him again. Something would, she knew. And she would be ready. She would not let him hurt again.


She was surprised, pleasantly so, when Rask turned from Asesee to come to her, and could not suppress the shiver that ran through her at his touch. He was right, she wanted to object – this was wrong, it was too soon, too early to relax – and when Asesee began to ask questions, the felt her temper flare again. It was only Rask's presence at her back, his breath tickling her neck, that served to remind her Rask would not be here at all if not for Asesee's actions. Lyra looked at the female Aavan and managed a stained smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.


She still wasn't quite comfortable with Rask being behind her, where she couldn't see him, but she could not, even if she wanted to, object to him being so close. Instead, she laid her hands down with her palms pressed flat to his arms, chafing gently, as if to offer warmth.


As if she could offer anything at all to him.


She was content to let him speak, though she kept a close watch on his mind, searching closely for signs of pressure or strain. She was so absorbed in the task, she almost didn't hear him speak, but at his final words, a low rumble went through her mind, the scarlet strands wrapping close around the gold.


"Your future won't be like that," she promised fiercely, not caring that she was speaking aloud. "No one will hurt you. Not as long as I'm alive."

 

[Kaisaan]

Rask rumbled a growl back at Lyra, almost as if in warning to her against working herself up in an unneeded guard-state. It was a gentle reprimand, though, barely one at all and he did it only because he hated seeing her stressed. And there was no need for it now, no danger present for her to fight - and perhaps that was the problem. Rask was anything but stupid and now more than ever he could feel Lyra's mind against his own. She had stretched the scarlet threads nearly as deep as they could go into his mind...but he'd not done the same with hers.

The Bond was still only half-balanced, but it was far better than it had been before, offering them both relief. But not fully solving their problem. And Rask could just feel that problem on the outskirts of Lyra's mind, where the gold had yet to touch. It was an echo of anger, a deep rage that he knew had to be fierce indeed if he was feeling it without seeing it.

It was a state of anger the gold Aavan knew would soon have to be addressed if Lyra was to truly be all right.

But right now was not the time for it to awaken and lash out. There was no one it could lash out at and so Rask followed his low growl with a soft crooning sound that ended in what could only be described as a warble, nuzzling into Lyra's neck soothingly, letting her know without words and by the actions familiar to his own kin, that all was well, that she could relax - maybe not fully, but that there was no threat of attack.

"I know, Crimson. I know." Rask whispered to the Keeper and the name Ras'K had used slipped off his tongue easily, just the barest hint of a smirk in his tone as he nuzzled his mate again and then looked to Asesee who appeared thoughtful herself. The female Aavan finally looked up and met Rask's green eyes, her own orange ones understanding something.

"That's why you sent Lyra to me, during the battle. I was dying and you..." She paused, head tilting, amazement flaring in her eyes. "You can't exist if I die." She barely breathed it, but Rask nodded slowly, his arms tightening around Lyra to remember that day, the feeling that had gone through him to know he was fading from the very fabric of time.

He never wanted to feel that way again.

Asesee sensed the shift in atmosphere, the slight tension that had come to the male gold who had, until now, been her brother. And how had that worked? The female Aavan voiced the question, changing the topic slightly and Rask was grateful for it, speaking once more and trying to banish that memory away for now. He could feel a bone-deep weariness coming over him, his mind wanting to bring up a hundred different details now that he knew the full story of who he was, but he didn't want to face it right now. Not yet. Just...a little bit at a Time.

And he wanted to get Lyra stable before he focused on anything else. But Asesee deserved an explanation, though, for how she'd helped them.

"When I was pulled through time, I was reborn. I'm not your blood-sibling, but I did share your mother's womb. I materialized there. I wasn't conceived as you and Tac were. I am related to you, but only distantly."

"Mother always did say you were a surprise. She was so sure she was only having two." Asesee mused softly and Rask managed a slight smile, nodding slowly as he put his chin back on Lyra's head. "She was right. I shouldn't have been there."

Orange eyes narrowed a bit and the female gold tilted her head. "Why were you? Why ARE you here?" It was a good question, one that would be in everyone's mind once they knew the truth and Rask knew the answer, but at that moment, he wished that he could have just gone back to the way things had been before he'd known who he was. His voice was quiet when he answered.

"The twins. Mori and Rora's children. They are the reason I am here, to protect them, to change the future even if it costs me everything. If they die, all is lost, for Aavan and Cerebrae. There will never be any peace between us if they don't live and even our two races will not survive for we'll face another threat far more deadly."