POTW: I'm Sorry

[Diana]

I'M SORRY!

For some reason this seems to be the hardest phrase for just about anyone to say! Some people never ever say it, no matter how wrong they were. Some people apologize over and over again even when they never did anything! Some people say it even then they don't mean it, and some people have a hard time saying it even when they really want to.

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately and remembering so many situations where if someone would have told me they were sorry, they might still be in my life today. And situations where I probably should have said I was sorry, yet never did for various reasons. Even situations were someone expected an apology from me and I wanted to punch them in the face.

Are you someone who can't say they are sorry? Are you an OVER sorry-sayer? Do you hold grudges if someone doesn't apologize to you?

What about your CHARACTERS? What is your favorite character and how do they handle saying sorry or expecting sorries?
Oh hey, what's this, I made a character exercise just for this poll! 8D

 

[Aigilas]

I only apologise when I feel I made a bad decision. Not for hurting people - I do that on purpose sometimes - but for hurting someone I didn't mean to hurt, such as doing something the consequences of which I misjudged, choosing a certain course of actions due to misinterpreting the situation, or making someone "collateral damage" to something I meant to do but in which I didn't mean to include him/her/it.
But I never say sorry when I meant to do exactly what I did. Sometimes the decisions I feel right are cruel decisions; the way someone might butcher an animal so he can eat, and not be sorry, because from his viewpoint that was the right decision even if he knows the animal wasn't pleased with it. So all my apologies are sincere, but not always when people expect them. It's not unheard of to hear me say something along the lines of "I know I hurt you, and that was part of my intentions".

And I have a trouble with people who can't properly apologise. I know a few. They have a way of essentially saying "sorry, but I don't care and I'm right and you're wrong", both with words and tone. One can't apologise in an aggressive, attacking tone of voice and still call it an apology. And when I call them out on it, or I try to further discuss their actions, they say they apologised. Well... no. A proper and sincere apology is a good thing, but this is an insult, and I would prefer receiving no apology. If they think they are right, then they should leave the pretend apology out of it, so we can have an intelligent discussion on what happened and whether that's good or bad. If they think they aren't right, then they should just say sorry and mean it, so I can leave it at that.

 

[Zorilla]

too many times have i seen someone declare they aresorry and the other person said "it means nothing" gotta love that.

 

[Fluffy]

I apologize where I feel it's necessary. Some people tell me I apologize too much, but I disagree. My morals and code are different from theirs, so it makes sense to disagree I suppose. I think that I do some dumb stuff! Either I blurt out awkward things that I really should not have said, or I clumsily hurt somebody. Overall I'm a clutz with words and actions. xP

Also, I've always considered "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" as different phrases. The former is to express sympathy, the other is to, well, apologize. xD I'm sure everyone has their own views.

 

[Aigilas]

I agree on that they are different expressions, but I think I feel something else in this difference than you. When speaking English, I never use the expression "I apologise". It feels insincere, as though I'm saying "socially speaking, I am apologising, so you should accept it and move on, but as for me, I don't necessarily regret what I've done and I don't necessarily think it was wrong." I say "I'm sorry" because I want to convey that this outcome wasn't what I was aiming for, and that I regret that it occurred.

 

[angrycactuar]

I'm an over-excessive sorry-er. I will apologize for beyond stupid things over and over again. :p

 

[October Knight]

I rarely apologize for anything I do, unless it's lighthearted shit like "Oh, I knocked over your drink, I'm sorry dude" Or "I forgot to close the door, sorry about that"



For serious stuff though, It shows weakness and indecisiveness. Ain't no body got time for thaaaaaaat!

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Me apologising is a rare thing. Me meaning it is even rarer.
I know, I'm a bit of a twonk. But the fact is that, most of the time, I simply don't care, and I'm only apologising so someone'll leave me be.
I've actually gotten quite good at fake apologies. Which is a little sad.

 

[Fluffy]

I agree on that they are different expressions, but I think I feel something else in this difference than you. When speaking English, I never use the expression "I apologise". It feels insincere, as though I'm saying "socially speaking, I am apologising, so you should accept it and move on, but as for me, I don't necessarily regret what I've done and I don't necessarily think it was wrong." I say "I'm sorry" because I want to convey that this outcome wasn't what I was aiming for, and that I regret that it occurred.

It's not insincere if you don't make it out to be. A person can say "I apologize" and still mean it if they are willing to look a person in the eye and put heart into their words. The same can be said for "I'm sorry". Just, I feel like 'apologize' is a stronger word, therefore more meaningful. Too many people toss around the phrase "I'm sorry" like it's a joke. At least, the people I've known do so.

I can understand what you mean, though. It makes sense.

 

[Esthalia]

Someone has to really make me emotional for me to get into a position that i would need to apologize. But, If it does happen, I have no problem admitting guilt and doing it.

 

[PPBG]

Technically, I don't have a problem with saying 'I'm sorry." I say it often, and for stupid mistakes and almost harmless accidents.

Being sorry is another thing. While I may feel bad about something, usually that won't persist for more than an hour, so then I don't consider that true regret and such. I often think I should feel bad and I don't. I'm not in touch with my morals enough I guess.

When I am truly 'sorry', and think about it for over an hour and it nags every other thought of mine, I usually express that with 'my apologies'. It feels more sincere to me.

I have issues with saying 'my apologies' because I don't want it to become overused, lose its definition, and become less meaningful.

 

[JustJen]

Sometimes people would say that I apologize too readily, but I would disagree and argue that it is merely that I set high standards of conduct for myself (higher than I do others). I will be the first to admit that I struggle with indecision and I am often the first person to recognize that I made a poor decision with something I've said or something I've done. I let my temper get the better of me and speak without thinking; I make bad decisions in which the collateral damage is much, much more than I ever intended.

 

[Parsee Mizuhashi]

I'm one of those people that will apologize profusely even when the other person is in the wrong. Example: A complete stranger bumps into me rather roughly while I'm walking on the sidewalk. Instead of getting upset, I will begin to act like it was my fault and start saying 'I'm sorry', and 'I was in your way'. I've been trying to work on this, but it's hard when you were raised in such a way that you just want everybody to like you.