- Posting Speed
- 1-3 posts per week
- One post per week
- Slow As Molasses
- Online Availability
- Anytime, I have no life.
- Writing Levels
- Adept
- Advanced
- Douche
- Adaptable
- Preferred Character Gender
- Male
- Nonbinary
- Transgender
- Primarily Prefer Male
- Genres
- Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, detective noir, fractured fairytales
Welcome to the second part of PIPS!
In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :) Please remain polite and if you do provide criticism, make sure it's constructive.
First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! I received a handful of submissions and they were all quite fun! We're definitely going to be back again in August 2018!
Some of the submissions are anonymous -- please respect this request by the writer and do not try to pin it on someone, even if you recognize their writing. There are no winners, but every entry will be featured in a pinned Showcasing thread, along with their entry!
A live reading might happen at the end of the month, more information will be posted if I can make it!
The themes for April's PIPS were:
- Courage
- Forgiveness
- Grief
- Revenge
- Redemption
-
In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel.
-
- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
- If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem?
- In your own words, what do you think the poem meant?
- Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem?
- Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image?
- Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements?
- What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way?
- What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is?
- Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous?
- If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc.
- What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most?
- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
-
- Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade.
- Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision.
- Discussions are encouraged to happen between April 23 and May 7, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few weeks.
Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :)
Participation Ribbon - Requirements
-Must have submitted a poem
-Must participate in the discussion of the submitted entries.
-->How? By reading every entry and using the discussion questions provided to give your impressions and thoughts about the poems. I'm certainly not asking for a college-level dissertation about the meaning of each poem, but giving your thoughts in more than just a few sentences is what I would consider good enough participation!
-There are no contests and no limit of how many ribbons can be attributed. The more, the merrier!
-You have until the end of May to participate in the discussions. PIPS officially ends at the end of April, but I am definitely willing to let you guys have more time to post your thoughts and such.
-The ribbon will be purely aesthetic, and will be up on your profile for May and June. (So the earlier you participate in the discussions, the longer you'll have it!)
Submissions
By: @Draugvan
Themes: Forgiveness, Redemption
"As above, so below"
Rest amid, the foil shows
Broil in sin, skin, flesh and bone
A bigger fish, a different tone.
Chaos sewn amoung the soil
Reaper follow those who toil.
Where for then art wholly good?
Sordid? War did have a meaning.
Linger to, linger fro.
Bless, forget the wins and woes
Stone knows not intelligent code
A smaller stick, a happy soul.
Scars pass last 'cross broken hearts
Devotion is an awesome task.
Cast down pitchfork, rid of noose and
best-dressed violence, you snappy peers.
Give of alms, give of growth.
Make amends to rotting foes
Stop, share bread, hearth, water - home
Nothing ventured, nothing known.
Themes: Forgiveness, Redemption
"As above, so below"
Rest amid, the foil shows
Broil in sin, skin, flesh and bone
A bigger fish, a different tone.
Chaos sewn amoung the soil
Reaper follow those who toil.
Where for then art wholly good?
Sordid? War did have a meaning.
Linger to, linger fro.
Bless, forget the wins and woes
Stone knows not intelligent code
A smaller stick, a happy soul.
Scars pass last 'cross broken hearts
Devotion is an awesome task.
Cast down pitchfork, rid of noose and
best-dressed violence, you snappy peers.
Give of alms, give of growth.
Make amends to rotting foes
Stop, share bread, hearth, water - home
Nothing ventured, nothing known.
By: @Jays
Theme: Grief
Love.
My love.
My dead love.
My dead love lives.
My dead love lives in pain.
My dead love lives in pain at your thoughtlessness.
My dead love lives in pain at your thoughtlessness, carefree, aloof, indifferent to a yearning broken heart that never trusted itself to love again.
Your broken heart yearns to love, to care, to revive pained dead loves and restore their faith.
Your broken heart yearns to love and restore faith.
Your broken heart yearns.
Your broken heart.
Broken heart.
Broken.
Theme: Grief
Love.
My love.
My dead love.
My dead love lives.
My dead love lives in pain.
My dead love lives in pain at your thoughtlessness.
My dead love lives in pain at your thoughtlessness, carefree, aloof, indifferent to a yearning broken heart that never trusted itself to love again.
Your broken heart yearns to love, to care, to revive pained dead loves and restore their faith.
Your broken heart yearns to love and restore faith.
Your broken heart yearns.
Your broken heart.
Broken heart.
Broken.
By: @neobendium
Themes: Forgiveness, Revenge
Poetic form: Diamond
Themes: Forgiveness, Revenge
Poetic form: Diamond
[bg=gray]Forgiveness
Peaceful, soft,
Laughing, smiling, keeping,
Apology, happiness, oath, blood,
Screaming, crying, losing,
Angry, hard,
Revenge[/bg]
Peaceful, soft,
Laughing, smiling, keeping,
Apology, happiness, oath, blood,
Screaming, crying, losing,
Angry, hard,
Revenge[/bg]
By: @Ananfal
Theme: Grief, Forgiveness, Redemption
Poetic form: Trochaic Octameter
Dark is the night that comes so quick, with fog that comes from clouds packed thick.
Eyes get lost in shadows - a trick! It's best not to look too hard.
Velvet blackness dense and chilléd, your heart clenching, your soul twisted.
"Stop, do not move!" I insisted, but you were not on your guard.
Misstep, mistake, you resisted. Too late - now to a graveyard,
Forever now to be scarred.
Memories that make me depressed, tears fall, fists tight, my mind distressed.
All these emotions are expressed, but I can't do anything.
Helpless, paralyzed in my bed, unable to move - such dread!
Demons feed on my soul, well fed. I just lay there worshipping,
The Lord, My Lord, save me! I pled - Refuge my prayers did not bring.
Nor sight of an angel's wing.
Punishment I know I deserve, by the heaven that I do serve,
Of such horrors that do unnerve even the most faithful man.
But gladly do I take it all, in that red brimstone fiery hall,
For my part in what did befall you - if it was me rather than
One who should never have to fall, then perhaps, if only, I can
Restore your place in God's great plan.
Theme: Grief, Forgiveness, Redemption
Poetic form: Trochaic Octameter
Dark is the night that comes so quick, with fog that comes from clouds packed thick.
Eyes get lost in shadows - a trick! It's best not to look too hard.
Velvet blackness dense and chilléd, your heart clenching, your soul twisted.
"Stop, do not move!" I insisted, but you were not on your guard.
Misstep, mistake, you resisted. Too late - now to a graveyard,
Forever now to be scarred.
Memories that make me depressed, tears fall, fists tight, my mind distressed.
All these emotions are expressed, but I can't do anything.
Helpless, paralyzed in my bed, unable to move - such dread!
Demons feed on my soul, well fed. I just lay there worshipping,
The Lord, My Lord, save me! I pled - Refuge my prayers did not bring.
Nor sight of an angel's wing.
Punishment I know I deserve, by the heaven that I do serve,
Of such horrors that do unnerve even the most faithful man.
But gladly do I take it all, in that red brimstone fiery hall,
For my part in what did befall you - if it was me rather than
One who should never have to fall, then perhaps, if only, I can
Restore your place in God's great plan.
By: @Lovers in Flames
Themes: Forgiveness, Grief
Poetic form: Acrostic
Forgive me daughter for what I have done to you
Order me because I can't forgive you
Right now it's just you and me
Get me out of here, I need to leave
I love you
Victim, that is what I am for you
Everyday I help you
My life was destroyed by you
Enjoyed the smell of your skin on my lips
Father forgive me, I have sin
Another day without you is hell
To me you are dead
Hell is what I will make life for you
Everyday I sink farther and farther in
Right now I need you
Forget me for I am disappearing
Only with me, you are something
Revenge is what I seek
I am never letting you go
Help me
Anywhere you go I will be there
Vengeance is what I will get
Everything I did, I did out of love
Save me from this hell
I love you
No, I hate you...
Themes: Forgiveness, Grief
Poetic form: Acrostic
Forgive me daughter for what I have done to you
Order me because I can't forgive you
Right now it's just you and me
Get me out of here, I need to leave
I love you
Victim, that is what I am for you
Everyday I help you
My life was destroyed by you
Enjoyed the smell of your skin on my lips
Father forgive me, I have sin
Another day without you is hell
To me you are dead
Hell is what I will make life for you
Everyday I sink farther and farther in
Right now I need you
Forget me for I am disappearing
Only with me, you are something
Revenge is what I seek
I am never letting you go
Help me
Anywhere you go I will be there
Vengeance is what I will get
Everything I did, I did out of love
Save me from this hell
I love you
No, I hate you...
By: @Makomin
Themes: Courage, Grief
Poetic form: Narrative
A young woman once told me a sad tale,
Of a pair of lovers with an ending so frail.
She told with such passion in her tone and eyes,
Of how much she would pay to buy back some more time.
Not all stories started with grief, she said,
Only the ones that were brief and ready-made.
The months were passing by so fast and swift,
We didn't even notice the gather of snow on the mountain's peak,
We used to laugh so hard at each other's jokes that people would say "Look at those country folk.",
I used to hug him so tight when I felt cold,
We'd just sit there and look at the stars until fatigue took a grand toll.
He'd tell me "I love you.",
While I replied "I love you more.",
But he'd always win by saying "I love you the most.",
I remembered him bending one one knee saying,
"I'll marry you when I come back soon,
Even if I have to wait for the moon to fall.
I'd kiss you till' my lips are raw,
Until the quizzed-looking children would say, "I take back what I just saw.".
And the most important thing I'd do is, "Wait for you till' I've turned to stone.".
It was time for him board the train,
She kissed him one last time and it started to rain.
They would exchange letters each and every day,
She'd seal every envelope with a kiss and say, "Hopefully you'll come back before May.".
But after a year, he'd stop replying her mail,
She'd thought he'd found someone less pale.
The weeks past by her with tissues and tears,
She'd finally gotten a reply with such urgency and fear.
She'd read the letter aloud with sighs,
"Dear child, I'm sorry to tell you this but,
Your lover was taken away,
By the choir of angels,
To a place of paradise with God and his house so gaily.
I wish I would bring him back to you,
But a proper goodbye is all I can do.".
The woman stopped at the end of her tale,
With brown eyes that looked so young yet old,
Saying love is strong and bold,
But be careful not to give too much away,
Or you'll end up like the girl in the story I've just told.
Themes: Courage, Grief
Poetic form: Narrative
A young woman once told me a sad tale,
Of a pair of lovers with an ending so frail.
She told with such passion in her tone and eyes,
Of how much she would pay to buy back some more time.
Not all stories started with grief, she said,
Only the ones that were brief and ready-made.
The months were passing by so fast and swift,
We didn't even notice the gather of snow on the mountain's peak,
We used to laugh so hard at each other's jokes that people would say "Look at those country folk.",
I used to hug him so tight when I felt cold,
We'd just sit there and look at the stars until fatigue took a grand toll.
He'd tell me "I love you.",
While I replied "I love you more.",
But he'd always win by saying "I love you the most.",
I remembered him bending one one knee saying,
"I'll marry you when I come back soon,
Even if I have to wait for the moon to fall.
I'd kiss you till' my lips are raw,
Until the quizzed-looking children would say, "I take back what I just saw.".
And the most important thing I'd do is, "Wait for you till' I've turned to stone.".
It was time for him board the train,
She kissed him one last time and it started to rain.
They would exchange letters each and every day,
She'd seal every envelope with a kiss and say, "Hopefully you'll come back before May.".
But after a year, he'd stop replying her mail,
She'd thought he'd found someone less pale.
The weeks past by her with tissues and tears,
She'd finally gotten a reply with such urgency and fear.
She'd read the letter aloud with sighs,
"Dear child, I'm sorry to tell you this but,
Your lover was taken away,
By the choir of angels,
To a place of paradise with God and his house so gaily.
I wish I would bring him back to you,
But a proper goodbye is all I can do.".
The woman stopped at the end of her tale,
With brown eyes that looked so young yet old,
Saying love is strong and bold,
But be careful not to give too much away,
Or you'll end up like the girl in the story I've just told.
By: @Auphe
Themes: Grief, Revenge
Poetic form: Limerick
There once was a girl, sobbing in grief.
Alone at a grave, searching for relief.
She had to get revenge,
But who would she avenge?
All that lay dead was a leaf.
Themes: Grief, Revenge
Poetic form: Limerick
There once was a girl, sobbing in grief.
Alone at a grave, searching for relief.
She had to get revenge,
But who would she avenge?
All that lay dead was a leaf.
By: @RJS
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Acrostic
It's time to stand
Demonstrate to my demons
Even though they eviscerated my
Self-esteem and shrank my
Ego. It's time to show them I'm
Ready. To take that
Very hard first step, maybe
Even the hardest I ever took.
Time to look at myself and say "It's
OK to feel this way."
Blaming myself made me make me
Even worse than I was.
Here I am.
Acceptance? Not yet.
Perhaps it will come.
Perhaps not.
Yet I'll keep trying.
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Acrostic
It's time to stand
Demonstrate to my demons
Even though they eviscerated my
Self-esteem and shrank my
Ego. It's time to show them I'm
Ready. To take that
Very hard first step, maybe
Even the hardest I ever took.
Time to look at myself and say "It's
OK to feel this way."
Blaming myself made me make me
Even worse than I was.
Here I am.
Acceptance? Not yet.
Perhaps it will come.
Perhaps not.
Yet I'll keep trying.
By: Anonymous
Themes: Grief, Forgiveness
It hurts.
It is excruciating.
Why are you with him?
I have been by your side the entire time.
Why are you leaving me?
"What's wrong?" You ask.
I can't answer you.
I never dared to tell you.
"It's nothing." I smile.
It's everything.
Why are you leaving me?
Why can I not be the one?
Why can't you pick me?
"Well, you know you can tell me, right?"
"Of course--" I can't tell you.
I'm protecting you, from these horrible feelings of mine.
This indescribable feeling of wanting to monopolize you.
If I told you, you would leave, right?
Run away, while you still could.
I only need you.
I need you to stay by my side, no matter what.
Why do you need them?
"Oh! Have you met yet?"
No. Please, don't introduce us. I beg you.
"You have to greet each other! You're my best friend after all,"
Don't smile, don't talk about them in such a happy tone.
"I can't wait--" to see the thief who took what is mine.
Forgive me, for not having the courage to tell you.
Forgive me, for not being the one.
Forgive me, for lacking.
Forgive me; I'll still stay by your side.
I'll keep on being your forever not-enough.
Themes: Grief, Forgiveness
It hurts.
It is excruciating.
Why are you with him?
I have been by your side the entire time.
Why are you leaving me?
"What's wrong?" You ask.
I can't answer you.
I never dared to tell you.
"It's nothing." I smile.
It's everything.
Why are you leaving me?
Why can I not be the one?
Why can't you pick me?
"Well, you know you can tell me, right?"
"Of course--" I can't tell you.
I'm protecting you, from these horrible feelings of mine.
This indescribable feeling of wanting to monopolize you.
If I told you, you would leave, right?
Run away, while you still could.
I only need you.
I need you to stay by my side, no matter what.
Why do you need them?
"Oh! Have you met yet?"
No. Please, don't introduce us. I beg you.
"You have to greet each other! You're my best friend after all,"
Don't smile, don't talk about them in such a happy tone.
"I can't wait--" to see the thief who took what is mine.
Forgive me, for not having the courage to tell you.
Forgive me, for not being the one.
Forgive me, for lacking.
Forgive me; I'll still stay by your side.
I'll keep on being your forever not-enough.
By: @Taska Vilna
Themes: Grief, Redemption
ANIMAL BABIES
Blood blessed sheets scrape skin
Bones shiver, shake, shear, tear apart, intertwine
Interlocked limbs bellow noise raw
Scream pleasure pure, paw
Claw digs, eats, flesh simmers skin, sucks blood
Grind. Filthy. Fresh. Soft body falll.
Themes: Grief, Redemption
ANIMAL BABIES
Blood blessed sheets scrape skin
Bones shiver, shake, shear, tear apart, intertwine
Interlocked limbs bellow noise raw
Scream pleasure pure, paw
Claw digs, eats, flesh simmers skin, sucks blood
Grind. Filthy. Fresh. Soft body falll.
By: @SkittlesAndSpike
Themes: Revenge, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Sonnet
Revenge, a flame that burns hot in the heart,
It consumes every thought in its blaze,
It is a pain of which one cannot part,
And continues to burn for many days.
Those afflicted seek righteous, cruel justice,
Attempting to smother the fire within,
But cruel justice often leaves one corrupted,
The fire burns hottest after one begins.
For a fiery heart, the best solution,
For both the victim and the offender,
is to douse the flames in cold ablution,
The wash, though tough, is something better.
Forgiveness snuffs out the fire with ease,
And leaves the mind and heart resting at peace.
Themes: Revenge, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Sonnet
Revenge, a flame that burns hot in the heart,
It consumes every thought in its blaze,
It is a pain of which one cannot part,
And continues to burn for many days.
Those afflicted seek righteous, cruel justice,
Attempting to smother the fire within,
But cruel justice often leaves one corrupted,
The fire burns hottest after one begins.
For a fiery heart, the best solution,
For both the victim and the offender,
is to douse the flames in cold ablution,
The wash, though tough, is something better.
Forgiveness snuffs out the fire with ease,
And leaves the mind and heart resting at peace.
By: @Quincunx
Themes: Forgiveness, Courage
Enclose me with salt and peony petals
Place me before the altar
Or in the darkness of the booth
It's been so long since I've done this
How do we begin
Do you speak in Latin
"ego te absolvo"
Do I retch my tar-black loathing
"burn my id"
Does my skin crystallize and shatter
"take me, halimeda"
Halite incandescent beneath the lights
Can it light me up like a witch
Or refract through the isometrics
Unfeeling photons
A girl lost feeling in her hands her face her lungs
Sprout flowers from them
And when I am a garden on fire
My nerves will awaken as if it was only a dream
And the world will return to focus from static storm
"I forgive you for pretending"
"I forgive you for your mistakes"
"I forgive you for when you could not tell the difference"
Ashes will know
Stripping away my skin
Themes: Forgiveness, Courage
Enclose me with salt and peony petals
Place me before the altar
Or in the darkness of the booth
It's been so long since I've done this
How do we begin
Do you speak in Latin
"ego te absolvo"
Do I retch my tar-black loathing
"burn my id"
Does my skin crystallize and shatter
"take me, halimeda"
Halite incandescent beneath the lights
Can it light me up like a witch
Or refract through the isometrics
Unfeeling photons
A girl lost feeling in her hands her face her lungs
Sprout flowers from them
And when I am a garden on fire
My nerves will awaken as if it was only a dream
And the world will return to focus from static storm
"I forgive you for pretending"
"I forgive you for your mistakes"
"I forgive you for when you could not tell the difference"
Ashes will know
Stripping away my skin
By: Anonymous
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness, Grief
Empty letters
And words amiss
Please forgive
To my great grief
Nothing better
But this brief
Remiss
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness, Grief
Empty letters
And words amiss
Please forgive
To my great grief
Nothing better
But this brief
Remiss
By: @HerziQuerzi
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Acrostic
In tempered seas of tempered life
Foes abound and cull the light
On hands and knees I withstand strife
Regret for those with heartwood might
Give me time for it to cease
I'll expose my heart and let blows hail
Vitality wavers by piece by piece
Eventually the bated breath will exhale
The hard times pass and knees unbend
Hands grip mine and sorrow quails
Every wound will scar then mend
My heart grows stronger and prevails
Themes: Courage, Forgiveness
Poetic form: Acrostic
In tempered seas of tempered life
Foes abound and cull the light
On hands and knees I withstand strife
Regret for those with heartwood might
Give me time for it to cease
I'll expose my heart and let blows hail
Vitality wavers by piece by piece
Eventually the bated breath will exhale
The hard times pass and knees unbend
Hands grip mine and sorrow quails
Every wound will scar then mend
My heart grows stronger and prevails
By: @Greenie
Themes: Revenge, Grief
Alone she stands beneath dawn's sky
Sword still in hand
Red and dripping like an exquisite wine
Dirt and blood decorating her person
Vengeance was finally hers
Her army a tsunami
Her enemies the thrashing fish
Destruction incarnate
Alone she falls to the ashened ground
Tears nurturing her pain
Heart forced to change
Mirroring his instead
If only for a moment
Her family now avenged
Her brother sent to hell
The burden still remained
Themes: Revenge, Grief
Alone she stands beneath dawn's sky
Sword still in hand
Red and dripping like an exquisite wine
Dirt and blood decorating her person
Vengeance was finally hers
Her army a tsunami
Her enemies the thrashing fish
Destruction incarnate
Alone she falls to the ashened ground
Tears nurturing her pain
Heart forced to change
Mirroring his instead
If only for a moment
Her family now avenged
Her brother sent to hell
The burden still remained
By: @RiverNotch
Themes: Grief, Redemption
1
It does not, it cannot, begin with two.
The breath emanates. The soul,
diabolic, whores itself to the world.
The senses tense up.
God's contraction,
a game of chicken.
We were broken
like a stick of cherry wood
picked for kindling.
2
Now we're a tent, dry grass
beneath our mesh of fingers.
Sparks fly. Something surges
but I cannot name it.
Our arms crease.
Our necks crack.
Our guts spill.
Our legs snap.
A chestnut log pounds us into dust.
3
I never lusted after you:
that was never the issue.
Perhaps we met prematurely,
perhaps I jumped the gun.
No, there was no issue.
Nothing happened between us.
I felt, I remember --
now there's an issue.
Now we're hanging from a bridge.
4
It begins with two: two spots
of light, two bodies
under an arch. He passes
a ring to her, she pays with fruit.
The lights
will meet again.
Eventually. The bodies
are not so lucky,
but do not mistake a beginning for an end.
Themes: Grief, Redemption
1
It does not, it cannot, begin with two.
The breath emanates. The soul,
diabolic, whores itself to the world.
The senses tense up.
God's contraction,
a game of chicken.
We were broken
like a stick of cherry wood
picked for kindling.
2
Now we're a tent, dry grass
beneath our mesh of fingers.
Sparks fly. Something surges
but I cannot name it.
Our arms crease.
Our necks crack.
Our guts spill.
Our legs snap.
A chestnut log pounds us into dust.
3
I never lusted after you:
that was never the issue.
Perhaps we met prematurely,
perhaps I jumped the gun.
No, there was no issue.
Nothing happened between us.
I felt, I remember --
now there's an issue.
Now we're hanging from a bridge.
4
It begins with two: two spots
of light, two bodies
under an arch. He passes
a ring to her, she pays with fruit.
The lights
will meet again.
Eventually. The bodies
are not so lucky,
but do not mistake a beginning for an end.
