- Posting Speed
- 1-3 posts per week
- One post per week
- Slow As Molasses
- Online Availability
- Anytime, I have no life.
- Writing Levels
- Adept
- Advanced
- Douche
- Adaptable
- Preferred Character Gender
- Male
- Nonbinary
- Transgender
- Primarily Prefer Male
- Genres
- Fantasy, romance, slice of life, anti-hero stories, "you're our only hope", fandom non-canons, soft scifi, transhumanism, magical girls, horror, suspense / mystery, detective noir, fractured fairytales
Welcome to the second part of PIPS!
In this thread, we encourage you to read the entries and answer the discussion questions provided. Feedback and commentary are of course welcome, but remember this was meant to be fun and light. We're here to discuss the themes of the submissions, not to nitpick how they were written :)
First of all, thank you to everyone who participated! As a first edition of PIPS, I must say it was rather successful for the first round. This is encouraging and makes me enthusiastic that we will be back in December for another edition!
Some of the submissions are anonymous -- please respect this request by the writer and do not try to pin it on someone, even if you recognize their writing. There are no winners, but every entry will be featured in a pinned Showcasing thread, along with their entry!
There will be a reading done on Discord on Sunday September 3 @ 18h00 server time (Central time, GMT -6). It was supposed to be done on August 31, but I apparently REALLY miscalculated that and I will actually be at work XD Apologies for this oversight. I will attempt to record it as well so those who cannot show up for the event will still be able to hear it. More instructions will be posted when the time comes!
The themes for August's PIPS were:
- Adversity
- Empowerment
- Loss of innocence
- Man against nature
- Perseverance
-
In the following tabs you will have the discussion questions, which I highly suggest using! :) You are also free to simply comment on the submissions and say how you feel about them or how they made you feel.
There is one entry marked with a warning for explicit content, you have been advised. -
- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
- If a title was provided, did it mean anything in regards to the rest of the poem?
- In your own words, what do you think the poem meant?
- Are there any symbols? If so, what did they mean? Do you think they were universal symbols or did they arise from the context of the poem?
- Did the poem provide an image? If so, what kind of image?
- Do you feel the form (poetic form, rhyme scheme, line arrangement, etc) influenced how you interpreted the poem? Were they important elements?
- What was the tone used? Did any words reveal the tone? Is it consistent, or does it change along the way?
- What heavily connotative words were used? Did you feel any words had unusual or special meanings? If any words or phrases were repeated, why do you think that is?
- Did you feel like you understood the meaning behind the poem? Were the writer's intentions clear or ambiguous?
- If you were to read this poem out loud, how would you go about it? In terms of tone, rhythm, etc.
- What parts of the poem interested or puzzled you the most?
- Do you feel the themes selected for the poem were identifiable in the submission? If more than one theme, did a theme feel like it was the main one?
-
- Number/letter grades are highly discouraged as they tend to be arbitrary and to vary widely in interpretation. This applies to any form of comparative grading. It is better to use the discussion points from the previous tab for each entry based on its individual merit rather than assigning a grade.
- Some entries were requested to be anonymous, please respect the writer's decision.
- Discussions are encouraged to happen between August 20 and August 31, but if you wish to keep talking about the entries once the event is over, the thread should remain available for a few week.
Have fun and even if you didn't submit a poem, everyone is encouraged to talk about the entries! :)
By: Anonymous
Themes: Loss of innocence
"Winter's Will-o'-Wisp"
Years of heartfelt trust, then:
"I never wanted you!"
Never? Never?! Never, never…
"Well. I just thought you should know."
And now, back to this business of existence.
Another item checked crisply off your list.
Efficient words that casually savage the heart ("why do you feel so much?!").
All in the interest of waste management.
One does not defy the edict of abandonment by the ruler of this barren landscape,
Who never looked back as friend or ally.
Truth rides beneath one's feet like broken glass in shifting sands; felt, but unseen.
And I? Bootless, left behind, I looked ahead.
Watching where you loomed large and darkly shadowed against the sun,
As you followed your mysterious sad instincts,
Ruinous and seven leagues beyond my touch.
Now, less than a shadow beneath the ground.
Themes: Loss of innocence
"Winter's Will-o'-Wisp"
Years of heartfelt trust, then:
"I never wanted you!"
Never? Never?! Never, never…
"Well. I just thought you should know."
And now, back to this business of existence.
Another item checked crisply off your list.
Efficient words that casually savage the heart ("why do you feel so much?!").
All in the interest of waste management.
One does not defy the edict of abandonment by the ruler of this barren landscape,
Who never looked back as friend or ally.
Truth rides beneath one's feet like broken glass in shifting sands; felt, but unseen.
And I? Bootless, left behind, I looked ahead.
Watching where you loomed large and darkly shadowed against the sun,
As you followed your mysterious sad instincts,
Ruinous and seven leagues beyond my touch.
Now, less than a shadow beneath the ground.
By: @FrictionFrog
Themes: Perseverance, Empowerment, Adversity
Remove from a butterfly it's beautiful wings and what is left to see?
A broken body and a broken spirit with no remaining beauty?
But what of the butterfly,
who's will is not yet broken?
With this one life to live,
should it's dreams not go unspoken?
Should it not surrender to it's fate, accepting the sympathy it's been given?
Has not the nature decided, this is it's skin to live in?
Is it not a selfish thing, to try it's very best?
To chase it's dreams and follow it's heart when it could stunt the rest?
What of those selfless few, that help it onto their backs?
Shouldn't they not be burdened, by what has slipped through the cracks?
For love doth cloud the minds and reasoning of the few.
That see something more, than the rest of them do.
Or perhaps it strengthens, to fly against the wind.
To work extra hard, to go through thick and thin.
For no heart hath less worth, or soul lesser value,
to the ones who can see past what is worldly and shallow.
Themes: Perseverance, Empowerment, Adversity
Remove from a butterfly it's beautiful wings and what is left to see?
A broken body and a broken spirit with no remaining beauty?
But what of the butterfly,
who's will is not yet broken?
With this one life to live,
should it's dreams not go unspoken?
Should it not surrender to it's fate, accepting the sympathy it's been given?
Has not the nature decided, this is it's skin to live in?
Is it not a selfish thing, to try it's very best?
To chase it's dreams and follow it's heart when it could stunt the rest?
What of those selfless few, that help it onto their backs?
Shouldn't they not be burdened, by what has slipped through the cracks?
For love doth cloud the minds and reasoning of the few.
That see something more, than the rest of them do.
Or perhaps it strengthens, to fly against the wind.
To work extra hard, to go through thick and thin.
For no heart hath less worth, or soul lesser value,
to the ones who can see past what is worldly and shallow.
By: Anonymous
Themes: Man against nature, Perseverance
Poetic form: Pi poem
Out, I stay. A musty afternoon, it causes fears and exhibits drizzling; dazzles worriedly men. To see absolute alms hiding my travel, wood and the beamlike fir of jungles, arboreous brush. . On patience, forested path I journeyed, starved. A breeze.
Themes: Man against nature, Perseverance
Poetic form: Pi poem
Out, I stay. A musty afternoon, it causes fears and exhibits drizzling; dazzles worriedly men. To see absolute alms hiding my travel, wood and the beamlike fir of jungles, arboreous brush. . On patience, forested path I journeyed, starved. A breeze.
By: @Iwazuma
Themes: Man vs nature, Perseverance
Poetic form: Limerick
A man walked alone in the wood
Feeling much weaker than any man should
Dropped and lost his backpack
Now he'll never get back
With no compass, doubt any man could
So for now, he opted to survive
And that goal was his purposeful drive
To somehow keep on living
So one day he'd be giving
Good advice on staying alive
It was these muddled thoughts he was thinking
When he suddenly had himself an inkling
That his ear must have caught
A sound that he thought
Was a river of water for drinking!
He wandered on over and discovered
A water source pure as no other
So he cupped both his hands
And drank all he could stand
When he ought to have ducked into cover
For that was when a bear came around
Searching for water, which it had found
It spotted the man
And defending its clan
The bear roared and stared Struthers down
Struthers didn't have much of a choice
He didn't have time to rejoice
He had to fight for his life
So, drawing a knife,
He screamed at the bear with his voice
And leapt at the towering mammal
A maniac's mind he had channeled
But in truth he feared
That his end was near
And he ended up wetting his flannels
For an hour the two went to war
T'was their lives that they were fighting for
Until a fatal jab
Hit the heart with a stab
And the bear let out one final roar
Before toppling onto the ground
The victor, old Struthers, was crowned
He collected its meat
And he cooked it to eat
Before the way home had been found....
"Shut up, Struthers, you drunk!
That might be what you had thunk,
But you had too much mead
And then hit your head
So we carried you back to your bunk!"
His two sons were quite unimpressed
With the story of how he was 'blessed'
Yes, it would seem
T'was another drunk dream
Of old Struthers. Who woulda guessed?
Themes: Man vs nature, Perseverance
Poetic form: Limerick
A man walked alone in the wood
Feeling much weaker than any man should
Dropped and lost his backpack
Now he'll never get back
With no compass, doubt any man could
So for now, he opted to survive
And that goal was his purposeful drive
To somehow keep on living
So one day he'd be giving
Good advice on staying alive
It was these muddled thoughts he was thinking
When he suddenly had himself an inkling
That his ear must have caught
A sound that he thought
Was a river of water for drinking!
He wandered on over and discovered
A water source pure as no other
So he cupped both his hands
And drank all he could stand
When he ought to have ducked into cover
For that was when a bear came around
Searching for water, which it had found
It spotted the man
And defending its clan
The bear roared and stared Struthers down
Struthers didn't have much of a choice
He didn't have time to rejoice
He had to fight for his life
So, drawing a knife,
He screamed at the bear with his voice
And leapt at the towering mammal
A maniac's mind he had channeled
But in truth he feared
That his end was near
And he ended up wetting his flannels
For an hour the two went to war
T'was their lives that they were fighting for
Until a fatal jab
Hit the heart with a stab
And the bear let out one final roar
Before toppling onto the ground
The victor, old Struthers, was crowned
He collected its meat
And he cooked it to eat
Before the way home had been found....
"Shut up, Struthers, you drunk!
That might be what you had thunk,
But you had too much mead
And then hit your head
So we carried you back to your bunk!"
His two sons were quite unimpressed
With the story of how he was 'blessed'
Yes, it would seem
T'was another drunk dream
Of old Struthers. Who woulda guessed?
By: @Queen_Nobody
Themes: ?
Bite.
Chew,
Gnaw.
The fabric flesh tore so easily.
Almost as if
It had never been together,
At all.
Hands bloody,
bones aching,
skin frozen.
He couldn't help but
Bathe in the heat of
The rabbit's heart.
Crimson red
Trickling down his body,
The fire of which faded slowly,
like his mind.
How long had it been?
Since his last meal?
Last snack?
Any sort
Of comfort,
Really.
How long,
Since he was lost
In this unforgiving wood?
Sanguine
And
Winter white,
The only colors
The child could remember.
Savage and feral.
Gods.
How long?
Themes: ?
Bite.
Chew,
Gnaw.
The fabric flesh tore so easily.
Almost as if
It had never been together,
At all.
Hands bloody,
bones aching,
skin frozen.
He couldn't help but
Bathe in the heat of
The rabbit's heart.
Crimson red
Trickling down his body,
The fire of which faded slowly,
like his mind.
How long had it been?
Since his last meal?
Last snack?
Any sort
Of comfort,
Really.
How long,
Since he was lost
In this unforgiving wood?
Sanguine
And
Winter white,
The only colors
The child could remember.
Savage and feral.
Gods.
How long?
By: @Ananfal
Themes: Perseverance, Adversity
The road is long
the miles many
As the sun
begins to set
But we must
continue riding
As we flee
to the west.
Only death
lies behind us
Hope
leads the way
We are few
but we are strong
And we must
continue on.
As the night
brings the darkness
And the light
starts to fade
We march on
in the silence
Until
the break of day.
And in the distance
We see the future
Right there before us
And yet so far.
The fight goes on
we cannot rest now
To stop
would be to die
And so we go
on living
If only
to try.
Themes: Perseverance, Adversity
The road is long
the miles many
As the sun
begins to set
But we must
continue riding
As we flee
to the west.
Only death
lies behind us
Hope
leads the way
We are few
but we are strong
And we must
continue on.
As the night
brings the darkness
And the light
starts to fade
We march on
in the silence
Until
the break of day.
And in the distance
We see the future
Right there before us
And yet so far.
The fight goes on
we cannot rest now
To stop
would be to die
And so we go
on living
If only
to try.
By: @Uncle Legens Legentis
Themes: Man vs nature
Hurricane Harry, oh what a guy!
Stood in a storm till he died
Winds a blowin', fierce as hell
As he finished a story no one would tell
I was there too, hollerin' strong
That Harry's hope was surely wrong
Alas, that storm took my eyes
And arms, and ears, and mouth, alright
So Harry's ghost goes a hollerin'
Voice like a violin
Tellin' a story no one will hear
Themes: Man vs nature
Hurricane Harry, oh what a guy!
Stood in a storm till he died
Winds a blowin', fierce as hell
As he finished a story no one would tell
I was there too, hollerin' strong
That Harry's hope was surely wrong
Alas, that storm took my eyes
And arms, and ears, and mouth, alright
So Harry's ghost goes a hollerin'
Voice like a violin
Tellin' a story no one will hear
By: @Peregrine
Themes: Perserverance
Poetic form: Tanka
Here you need five words
Now seven syllables more
I thought this easy
But it took a week of work
For me to write a tanka
Themes: Perserverance
Poetic form: Tanka
Here you need five words
Now seven syllables more
I thought this easy
But it took a week of work
For me to write a tanka
By: @MeadowLark4
Themes: Man vs nature
And so we decided to leave the dragon in it's white den,
with its yellow hair and masked words.
The beast was far too clever,
slipping whispers under the
cracks of our children's
doors
telling them to lock up and
wage war against us with our
catapults and
their walls.
We decided to leave the dragon, because
we were too afraid to give our
lives protecting our children.
When asked us why, we sang
old folk songs about beasts that
once existed 18 years ago but
disappeared like the apparitions
they were into the piss stained carpet.
There are no monsters now, only the
dragon in its white cave which
we decided to leave be.
Because we knew it could not be slain.
We knew there was nothing we could
do to keep it from luring
our bright eyed children into the
moonlight and dropping strange looking beads
on their heads and engaging in
some strange form of weird inconceivable bullshit
that we for the life of our dusty asses
couldn't hope to understand.
Themes: Man vs nature
And so we decided to leave the dragon in it's white den,
with its yellow hair and masked words.
The beast was far too clever,
slipping whispers under the
cracks of our children's
doors
telling them to lock up and
wage war against us with our
catapults and
their walls.
We decided to leave the dragon, because
we were too afraid to give our
lives protecting our children.
When asked us why, we sang
old folk songs about beasts that
once existed 18 years ago but
disappeared like the apparitions
they were into the piss stained carpet.
There are no monsters now, only the
dragon in its white cave which
we decided to leave be.
Because we knew it could not be slain.
We knew there was nothing we could
do to keep it from luring
our bright eyed children into the
moonlight and dropping strange looking beads
on their heads and engaging in
some strange form of weird inconceivable bullshit
that we for the life of our dusty asses
couldn't hope to understand.
By: @Asinis
Themes: Loss of innocence, adversity
This child is winters fugitive,
Behind him autum dawnlight sighs.
On shallow structure his shadow lives,
In a world he built with smoke and lies.
Impostor in a summer land,
He knows his future has a fuse.
In fire cleansed by his own hand,
May drink his feet into his fathers shoes.
The boy of winters creation,
To ancient soil returns.
He will build a firm foundation,
from pain the pattern learned.
Themes: Loss of innocence, adversity
This child is winters fugitive,
Behind him autum dawnlight sighs.
On shallow structure his shadow lives,
In a world he built with smoke and lies.
Impostor in a summer land,
He knows his future has a fuse.
In fire cleansed by his own hand,
May drink his feet into his fathers shoes.
The boy of winters creation,
To ancient soil returns.
He will build a firm foundation,
from pain the pattern learned.
By: @Měsíc
Themes: Loss of innocence, perserverance
Poetic form: Pantoum
When I'm alone my mind thinks of you
I think about what you have done to me
And how you left me
Tired
I think about what you have done to me
I need to keep going
Tired
I need to keep going
I need to keep going
For my sister
I need to keep going
So I can show you, you did not destroy me
For my sister
Who I will never let you harm
So I can show you, you did not destroy me
I am stronger even when you left me broken
I will be alright but you will burn
I think about what you have done to me
But I am stronger than that
When I'm alone my mind thinks of you
Themes: Loss of innocence, perserverance
Poetic form: Pantoum
When I'm alone my mind thinks of you
I think about what you have done to me
And how you left me
Tired
I think about what you have done to me
I need to keep going
Tired
I need to keep going
I need to keep going
For my sister
I need to keep going
So I can show you, you did not destroy me
For my sister
Who I will never let you harm
So I can show you, you did not destroy me
I am stronger even when you left me broken
I will be alright but you will burn
I think about what you have done to me
But I am stronger than that
When I'm alone my mind thinks of you
By: @RiverNotch
Themes: Empowerment
You give the gifts in this relationship,
not I. The toothbrush,
the wooden spoon, the plastic train...
Now it's my turn.
Your present lies on a bed of leaves,
cauliflower heads split wide open.
Its skin is gold
and crackling like the earth
in rainless Ethiopia.
Don't tell me you wish to keep your figure
like that starving people you so mocked.
Don't tell me the smells of the roast don't tempt you,
the fingers of steam fail to pleasure --
your nose
is not my vulva.
Everyone had a hand in it,
from the chef to the waiters to the busboy.
Even the guest whose naked body
you smothered in shit on the street,
he brushed the glaze.
You say you wouldn't eat it but
we know you like to gorge yourself.
Cock and swine, slop and mussel:
to you, they're not much different
from a man,
not least some man I fucked.
Themes: Empowerment
You give the gifts in this relationship,
not I. The toothbrush,
the wooden spoon, the plastic train...
Now it's my turn.
Your present lies on a bed of leaves,
cauliflower heads split wide open.
Its skin is gold
and crackling like the earth
in rainless Ethiopia.
Don't tell me you wish to keep your figure
like that starving people you so mocked.
Don't tell me the smells of the roast don't tempt you,
the fingers of steam fail to pleasure --
your nose
is not my vulva.
Everyone had a hand in it,
from the chef to the waiters to the busboy.
Even the guest whose naked body
you smothered in shit on the street,
he brushed the glaze.
You say you wouldn't eat it but
we know you like to gorge yourself.
Cock and swine, slop and mussel:
to you, they're not much different
from a man,
not least some man I fucked.
By: @PoetLore
Themes: Perseverance
Putting
Every fear and
Reasonable excuse
Squarely behind
Executing the plan with
Victory foremost in
Every action
Remaining
Always in each
Nuance of thought
Courageous and in
Expectation of success
Themes: Perseverance
Putting
Every fear and
Reasonable excuse
Squarely behind
Executing the plan with
Victory foremost in
Every action
Remaining
Always in each
Nuance of thought
Courageous and in
Expectation of success
By: @Shakaai
Themes: Loss of innocence, perseverance
Little Lilly so young, learn from the great ones. Though you wish, in your youth, to be the tallest of the group, seek not to be of greater beauty. To stand out from the crowd, the dream for all, yet as you can see, the cruel fate of the beautiful and tall. To stand from the crowd, such a price, is this moment of fame, of fortune worth the cost of one's life? Learn it well now young Lilly dear, never outgrow your peers, let them grow to ambitions much too high, let them see their folly, and let them die. Long as you understans, live your life, Lilly dear, live long and never fear. No thunder no rain, no hateful sun to bear down on you, let those above take this burden, so you may live long and happily. Yes this may be sad, perhaps unfair, but nothing is or ever will be, even in the wildest dreams. Learn and be wise precious young Lilly, learn, and let them not see you, and be proud of whom you are.
Themes: Loss of innocence, perseverance
Little Lilly so young, learn from the great ones. Though you wish, in your youth, to be the tallest of the group, seek not to be of greater beauty. To stand out from the crowd, the dream for all, yet as you can see, the cruel fate of the beautiful and tall. To stand from the crowd, such a price, is this moment of fame, of fortune worth the cost of one's life? Learn it well now young Lilly dear, never outgrow your peers, let them grow to ambitions much too high, let them see their folly, and let them die. Long as you understans, live your life, Lilly dear, live long and never fear. No thunder no rain, no hateful sun to bear down on you, let those above take this burden, so you may live long and happily. Yes this may be sad, perhaps unfair, but nothing is or ever will be, even in the wildest dreams. Learn and be wise precious young Lilly, learn, and let them not see you, and be proud of whom you are.
By: @Greenie
Themes: Empowerment
Themes: Empowerment
Skin as white as ivory
Hair as dark as the midnight sky
Lips soft and red as a rose
And eyes as cold as winter
Calling me, luring me
Seducing me
Siren of the land
Her smile, beautiful, terrifying
Warming me, chilling me
Her breath on my throat
Sending shivers through me
All to be over soon
Fangs pierce my skin
And pain overtakes me
Fantasy now a reality
I will not lose this battle
A gasp escapes both our lips
Relief from mine, outrage from hers
She thought me the prey
A stake in her heart proves otherwise
I am the Hunter
Hair as dark as the midnight sky
Lips soft and red as a rose
And eyes as cold as winter
Calling me, luring me
Seducing me
Siren of the land
Her smile, beautiful, terrifying
Warming me, chilling me
Her breath on my throat
Sending shivers through me
All to be over soon
Fangs pierce my skin
And pain overtakes me
Fantasy now a reality
I will not lose this battle
A gasp escapes both our lips
Relief from mine, outrage from hers
She thought me the prey
A stake in her heart proves otherwise
I am the Hunter
By: Anonymous
Themes: Loss of innocence
Themes: Loss of innocence
Eyes low, from dawn to dusk
I cannot bare my frigid home
Till when I awoke to find a friend
Big black eyes, silk blue fur
You said "Onward, let us roam"
Time for fun if just pretend
Hand in hand
We journey my old mundane
Now well and warm with You
Hand in hand
We lived and freely reigned
But You couldn't be forever
One journey too far
Lost, no au revoir
Ice inside once more
Gaze grounded in tears
Should I just let go
Should I grow alone
Should I just let go
And now live on my own
I can't just let go
I can't grow alone
I can't just let go
And face the new unknown
Coins cross hands and I have It
Cheap button eyes - stuffed, stitched knit
Hand in hand
We journey my old mundane
Now strange and stared with It
Hand in hand
We're mocked and freely shamed
But It helps keep back forever...
I cannot bare my frigid home
Till when I awoke to find a friend
Big black eyes, silk blue fur
You said "Onward, let us roam"
Time for fun if just pretend
Hand in hand
We journey my old mundane
Now well and warm with You
Hand in hand
We lived and freely reigned
But You couldn't be forever
One journey too far
Lost, no au revoir
Ice inside once more
Gaze grounded in tears
Should I just let go
Should I grow alone
Should I just let go
And now live on my own
I can't just let go
I can't grow alone
I can't just let go
And face the new unknown
Coins cross hands and I have It
Cheap button eyes - stuffed, stitched knit
Hand in hand
We journey my old mundane
Now strange and stared with It
Hand in hand
We're mocked and freely shamed
But It helps keep back forever...