Pain Killers

[AcornTree]

Lilly Haddock had gotten in to Gleamings University completely on her own. She kept her nose in a book constantly, and studied nearly everything she could day in and day out. She kept to herself much of her younger years, only really daring to open up a bit when she got into college. Her family she never spoke of, but most other things she was willing to speak about.

Her first year of college had been a whirl wind of one. Adjusting to dorm life she had done almost effortlessly, creating fast friends with her randomly assigned roommate – a foreign exchange student from Japan named Chiro. Academia was the environment she thrived in, and Gleamings University did not let her down in that respect. The Greek presence was few and scattered there, and Gleamings earned its reputation from having some of the best GPAs and test scores in the region. Lilly fit in there more than she ever had anywhere else.

She could have picked nearly anything to study and she would have likely excelled, but Lilly was nothing if not practical. She wanted a job that would support her consistently, although she was not exactly after money. Only stability. This was exactly why she decided to choose Accounting as her field of study. It was one of the most stable job platforms out there, and while numbers didn't particularly thrill her, numbers had always kept her head above water. Grades, GPA, money, scholarships. All of those things were numbers. She could work at that.

Even so, she had decided to take on a lot more than just the basic requirements, and half way through just her first year she had decided to take on a Computer Science minor. Like accounting, computer science was a stable field, and if she grew tired of numbers, computers were always evolving. Which would hold both her interest and the availability of jobs in check. Lilly already knew she was getting a Masters in her field, making her even more hire-able to all those prospects out there. In the long run, Lilly Haddock had everything figured out.

It was the short term that sometimes tripped her up. For her humanities class they had to do volunteer work. And most of the hot spots like animal shelters and homeless shelters had already filled up before she could even blink. A lot of the leftovers were leftovers for a reason, undesirable and probably a lot of hard work, boring work, or both. She had been on the brink of signing up to help one of the old folk's homes when Chiro had changed her mind.

The two of them had decided to room together the second semester. They were both in the dorm room about to sign up when Chiro had practically begged Lilly to sign up for a rehab center with her. The two of them were taking the same class, but because of scheduling issues they'd ended up taking the same teacher but at different times. Chiro had already signed up for the rehab center, and had been suddenly seized with fear on doing it by herself. Chiro had learned English fast during the first year at college, but often times her accent prevented people from understanding her (which Lilly found annoying since she could understand her just fine) and despite her fast learning she still sometimes struggled to say what she wanted to say. Or understand. Lilly had signed up for Japanese her second semester in her first year, and was continuing to take it and practice with Chiro, so she probably understood the tall Japanese girl better than most.

This was exactly how Lilly found herself bright and early on a Saturday with Chiro, standing in front of a rehabilitation clinic. The two girls could not look any more different. Where Chiro's hair was straight and black, Lilly's was curly and a light brown in color. It came down to just past her shoulder, where Chiro's hair stopped at about her chin. Chiro was very tall, and Lilly below average on height. Lilly had (unintentionally) a hipster vibe about her, with an olive green jacket overtop a baggy brown knitted sweater and yellow jeans. She was soft and quiet. Chiro, on the other hand, could be a bit of a rebel and dressed as such.

Which was probably why, upon entering the facility with one other girl from Chiro's class, they were separated almost immediately. Chiro was sent off to grounds work – probably good for her really since it required little speaking – and Lilly was pushed into paperwork. She was shown the ropes, and for the most part it was pretty easy. A lot of it was forms, which included new patient intake. So she was sat at a desk filing forms and waiting for any new people to show up, dutifully fulfilling her volunteer hours.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey stood outside of the rehab center, he had turned around many times. He couldn't make up his mind on what he wanted to do. Finally he decided that the best thing to do was to get clean. Turn a new leaf over in his life, try to start over again. He still stood there, he looked nervous and scared. He hadn't taken any heroin since he decided to come here- which was a few hours ago. He takes a deep breath and opens the door to the center. Now he was beginning to have second doubts about this once again. No, I can't chicken out. I need to get clean. He thinks. After all he lost his family to the drugs, they didn't want anything to do with him or want him back in their lives until he got clean. In fact he also had lost his friends too, most of them were drug users and he got away from them, because they certainly wouldn't help his situation. They would simply drag him back and not care. And some of them had died from drug over doses too.

He was dressed in a pair of baggy jeans that had holes in them, a wife beater tank top. He had a buzz cut and facial hair, both brown. And he wore a pair of worn shoes, which seemed to have seen better days. He looks around the center, it was a light yellow and tan color. The yellow was on the walls and the tan on the floors. There were white windows and they had curtains in them. And there were some pictures of people smiling and saying that they got the help they needed as well as all that happy horse shit. He kept looking around until he came upon the half circle desk that Lilly was sitting at. He comes up to it and lest out a sigh. He was shaking, not only from being nervous but as well as starting to go through withdraws, since it had been hours since he had any drugs in his system. At this point he didn't know what to say to her. He looks at her with deep blue eyes, he noticed that she wasn't looking up. He clears his throat to get her attention. Once she looks up, he sighs again. "I-I'm here to get help." He says to her, is tone was unsure and shaky and scared as well a nervous.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly looked up when she heard someone clear their throat. Her bright green eyes met his deep blue quickly before they looked down the rest of him and then back up again. She was trying very hard to not to judge this guy. Or any of the others here. At least they were here. At least they were trying. Although really she didn't understand how they couldn't just stop. She nodded a little, looking down at the paperwork in front of her. She was a little nervous herself. This was the first time she was going to do this, after all. She shifted through the documents and then handed him one. "Okay. You'll have to fill out a few forms. This one first - its a basic release form. You're over 18, right?" She asked. If he wasn't he'd need a different form, but this one basically said he was admitting himself, was of age, and would stay on the facility during his time here, yada yada yada.

While he looked over that form, she was selecting the other forms she would need. There was another girl sitting with her who helped her out. There were several pens chained to the desk for him to use. "I'll also need to see some form of identification so I can make a copy. Drivers lisence is preferred." She said. Once Lilly had all the forms in order she put it onto a clip board and waited for what she needed back. She was supposed to take him into one of the back rooms to fill out the rest of the forms and run him through procedures before taking him around to show him his room and the facility.

 

[Skedaddle]

When she asked if he was over 18, he nods. "Yeah I'm 25." He says to her. He looked also sickly too. And he kept shaking all over. He shakily pulls out his wallet and takes out his I.D. card- his driver's license and hands it to her and in return he grabs the forms. And his mind was going a million miles a minute as he read the forms. He wondered how long this would take and how long it would take him to get clean and all that other shit. He sighs as he flips to another page. He was carefully reading each form. He wanted to know what he was getting himself into. He just kept flipping through the forms as he read, he was trying to keep his eyes on the papers, trying not to make eye contact with one. It took him several minutes to look over all papers. And then he began to start to sign them, that's when he looks up to see that the girl that he had been talking to motioning him to follow her. Which he did willingly. He noticed that she was taking him to a back room. He wondered why. But neither the less he did what he was told. He sighs and sits down in a hard plastic chair. He then begins to fill out the paper work. He just hoped that he didn't have to talk to her again, he felt awkward doing so.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly made the copy of his license and then gestured to him to follow. The back rooms were just supposed to give the new patients some form of security and privacy as they filled out the forms. Lilly sat down in one of the chairs across from - She paused to look at the license in her hand. Bailey. She gave him his license back then. "So... if you have any questions, let me know. Here's another pen." He said, handing the guy another pen that wasn't connected to the desk. She wasn't really sure what to say to him. He looked awful. She was supposed to go through this whole spiel, but only after he had completed the forms.

Once he was done, she took the papers back, making sure everything was in order. She got up then and nodded. "Follow me. This facility usually takes from two to ten months to complete, depending on each patient. As it said on your forms, you're expected to follow the schedule for the day, attend group meetings, and follow the instructions of your doctor." She said. She had a cheat sheet she was reading from in case she forgot something. She stopped to show him the cafeteria and then went towards the housing here, where he could pick up his key.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey follows after her after he handed her the papers. Ten months? He thinks. He hoped that would be long enough to help. He had been doing heroin for a long time. He seemed out of place and nervous as he followed her. He was trying to keep his mind off of the drug, anything- anything at all would help. He peers into the cafeteria. It reminded him of a high school cafeteria. He was still shaking and now he couldn't stand still. Every time she would stop to show him some area of the center, he would shift his weight from foot to foot. Or he would tap his foot on the floor at a fast pace. As if he was going to have a panic attack at any moment. As he walked, to keep his mind occupied, he would even scratch the back of his head, trying to dig his nails into his skin. The pain would keep his mind off the drug. He could tell this was going to be hard as hell on him. This is going to be hell. He thinks as he continues to follow her. And then she said something about housing, good then he could be left alone. That is one thing he wanted right now, to be left alone. When he finally did get his own room, he wouldn't sit there like some idiot. He would probably wouldn't sit down or lay on the bed. He would pace, pace like a hungry lion or tiger in a cage. They had stopped for a moment, he noticed that she was looking at a sheet and soon he was staring off into space. His mind wondering back to it's cravings for the drug. It felt like a small voice in the back of his mind was telling him that he needed it, but he knew it was only his subconscious telling him that the drug was out of his system. What brought him back was her calling his name. And it made him jump about a foot off the ground.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly could tell this guy was hardly paying attention to a word she said. Maybe he was high right now. She knew the signs, but he didn't quite fit that so she had no idea what was wrong with him. Maybe all those drugs had just fried his brain or something. Her mouth twitched a bit. "Well... this is where you'll be staying and this is Mike. He's one of the workers here." She introduced, which reminded her that she had not introduced herself. Oops. She had gotten his key from Mike and was about to press it into Bailey's hand when he jumped a mile, causing Lilly to jump too, her hand flying to her throat in alarm. "Are you alright?" She asked him. He'd jumped for no reason, it seemed like. All she'd done was tell him Mike's name. Her skin was already starting to crawl, and mostly she was eager to just give him the key, show him to his room, and be on her way back up to the front desk. For now, however, she waited for an answer.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey now felt stupid for jumping. He nods, "Yeah I'm fine, I was just thinking about things is all." He says to her and then takes the key from Mike. "I'm Bailey." He says to both of them. His skin was clamy and cold and it felt like over a thousand ants were crawling all over his skin. He knew that look that she had given him. As if she was asking if he was high, oh how he wished he was. He then sighs and shakes his head. "Uh..I'm not really ok, I haven't used my drug since this morning, so I'm starting to how professionals would say, starting to go through withdrawals." He says. His tone was still shaky and he couldn't stand still, still. Both her and Mike staring at him was making him uncomfortable, and made him feel even more nervous. He watches as Mike walks away as if it was nothing new to him. Good, no questions from him. He could tell that he had been working here for a while. So that just left him and her alone. He noticed she was still giving him a look. It was making him crazy, was she going to judge him for the choices he made? Or was she going to ask a question or what? That's what he thought about and it seemed like now that his mind was going a million miles a minute. He started to shake a little more now, even though he tried to control it the best he could. It even seemed like he would twitch a little, even though he tried to control that too. But he knew it wasn't his fault, it was his body doing it. And he really couldn't control it, it was basically fighting against itself. Felt that awful feeling in his gut, he knew it all too well. That horrible, twisting, gut wrenching feeling. A feeling as though someone had kicked him in the gut. He quickly unlocks the door to his room and runs to the bathroom, making it just in time. Just in time for him to get sick.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly was so not prepared for this. Bailey looked positivly awful, and when he ran into the bathroom she tried hard not to gag herself. Sympathy vomiting was something she was prone to, and also something she was trying hard to not do. She couldn't help it though. The sound just caused her entire system to screw up and she could practically feel it - no! She immediately thought of something else. Something pleasant. She also resisted the urge to put her hand to her nose, mostly because that would be rude. "Uhm... w-well..." She was off her game now. No one had told her what to do if she couldn't complete whatever it was she was supposed to say right then if the patient was throwing up. "Well, there's a daily schedule here on the back of your door and, um, I'll get a doctor to come look at you now." She wasn't supposed to do that, but he was spilling his guts out over there and honestly she didn't know what else to do but get someone else. She was going to ring Chiro's neck later for making her sign up for this.

After she was pretty sure that was all, she left him there and went straight to the nearest doctor like she said. She gave her the clipboard filled with his forms and, unfortunately, her cheat sheet and then made a bee-line straight to the front desk where she sat down. Checking the time, she would have groaned. One hour down, 99 to go. This was never going to end.

 

[Skedaddle]

When she said that she was going to get the doctor, he was going to tell her no. But he just kept getting sick. After she left and after his body decided it was done vomiting, he goes into the room and looks around. It was a simple bedroom. With a dresser and bed. As well as a curtained window. He figured after vomiting so much, that he would feel better. In fact he felt worse. Now besides shakes, he was shivering and feeling extremely cold. He was also feeling rather light headed and dizzy. He thought it was best if he laid down, under the covers. And that is what he did. He laid under the covers with his head covered up, shaking violently. But he couldn't lay still. He still had to occupy his mind with something else, before he just gave up. He then begins to rub his right leg back and forth on the bed, this would keep his mind busy. So he wouldn't think about not having the drug in his system still. He felt stupid for getting sick in front of her as well as letting her go get the doctor or a doctor. He didn't need the doctor, he need heroin in his system again. But he knew he was going to get it. And now he laid there under the blankets, shivering even though it wasn't cold, shaking like an old person would do. And it also looked like he was trying to ride an invisible bicycle too. And then he heard a knock on his door. He figured that it was the doctor. He didn't want help from the doctor, but what else could he do? He felt so helpless- like a helpless kitten- weak. "c-come in." He finally says after a few minutes of thinking it over. He then lets out a sigh, he couldn't believe that he was getting help from a doctor. But he looked at it this way now, maybe they could stop him from shaking so much.

 

[AcornTree]

The doctor had looked over the file of their newest patient, but really for withdrawal symptoms there wasn't much they could do but wait it out. Sleeping medicine worked for some, but if he was throwing up that wouldn't be the wisest move. She checked his vitals and made sure this actually was withdrawal before stepping back. The first day or two of this was always the hardest. "Alright, Mr. Bailey, there is nothing we can give you right now, but you'll be feeling better in a few days. Nothing to do but wait it out. We'll have someone keep an eye on you while the drugs get out of your system and to get you whatever you might need." This was partially for the patient's benefit but also to make sure he didn't hurt himself. Unfortunately, they were understaffed. "I'll be back soon with someone for you." She said, stepping out.

Who was the lucky volunteer except Lilly. She almost asked the doctor not to send her back there. Almost. Lilly was not a quitter, and she didn't complain either. Not about things like work, anyway. So she found herself back in Bailey's room not long after that armed with a walkie talkie in case he got violent or something seriously wrong happened. She was just supposed to sit there and watch him and get him water or whatever else he asked for, within reason. Most people might count themselves lucky to be getting such easy volunteer hours but Lilly really didn't think this was lucky at all. "Er... me again." She said as she came in. Mike had carried a chair up there for her and after setting it down he left again. Lilly sat down, fidgeting just a bit. "Just... let me know if you need anything I guess..."

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey watches as the doctor leaves. Damn it! He thinks and he curls into a ball. He had the covers up over his head once again. He then hears foot steps and sees that it was her again. Great. He thinks. Hadn't he already made a fool of himself in front of her already? When she said she was there to watch over him, all he could do was groan. But it wasn't really at her, it was because he was feeling horrible. He gets up and runs to the bathroom again, but only dry heaving. Obviously his brain hadn't told his stomach that it was empty. He walks over to his bed and covers up once again, hiding his head and face. He curled up into a ball again. He was shaking all over even more than he was before. God, how he was hating this part. He couldn't help but groan again. His mouth was dry and his lips were chapped. He the peers out of the blankets. "Water would be nice, please." He says and then watches as she leaves the room and soon comes back with a plastic cup of water. He takes it from her, "Thanks." he says. He was shaking so bad it looked like he might spill the water. But he then downs it in a hurry as if he hadn't had water in a long time. He places the cup on the stand next to the bed and curls up under the blankets again. He sighs and looks at her from an opening in the blanket. He decided that it would be nice to get off on the right foot for once. "I-I'm s-sorry you have to p-put up with me. B-But let's get off on the r-right f-foot. I'm Bailey." He says to her.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly felt strange, staring at a man she did not know who was currently sick. Well, kind of sick. He expressed all the symptoms of sick, at the very least. For once, Lilly wished she had a cell phone, so she could mess around on it like all the other kids did when they were in weird situations. Or all the time. Lilly didn't have one though, and normally that wasn't a problem. Just today. She clenched her teeth when Bailey went to the bathroom again, thankful he hadn't thrown up that time. This would be a lot more do-able if she wasn't starting to feel queasy herself. This was why her initial idea of being a doctor would never work out. So she just stared at him, since there was nothing else to stare at, until he asked for water. She got up to get it, handing it to him and then sitting back down and sighing. It was too bad she hadn't brought along some homework, but she hadn't known she'd be forced to watch over a patient while he waited out the after effects of whatever drugs he was taking. That had been one of the forms but Lilly hadn't looked at it.

Normally, Lilly wouldn't really feel bad for someone going through withdrawals. They'd chosen to get hooked onto the damn thing anyway. Still, it was hard NOT to feel bad for Bailey just because this big tough strong guy looked so pitiful and miserable. She shrugged a little at his apology. "Yeah, I'm Lilly. I was kinda supposed to say that when you walked up to the desk but, I forgot." She admitted.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey nods, "This is something I've never done before, so I'm rather nervous too." He says to her. He was still under the covers, still shaking. It seemed the shaking had gotten more violent than before. But he knew there was nothing that could be done. Damn it. He thinks. He sighs, all he wanted was to get up and pace. As well as scream. If he wasn't at the center, he would have screamed very loudly. But he figured doing either of those things would probably make her extremely nervous or afraid. And that was something he didn't want to do. He sits up, wrapping the blanket around him. He was looking sicker by the minuet. He even felt more horrible by the minuet. He just flops back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, he felt so weak now, that he possibly couldn't move or get up now. And he was stubborn, there was no way he was going to ask her to help him. But he wanted back under the covers. He tries to raise his head the best he could. "Um...Lilly...umm...I need..." he says trailing off. He didn't want to ask her for help. And anyways he felt so stupid for asking. And he thought she probably thought he was an idiot anyways. "Lilly...I need help getting back up...I'm too weak to move on my own...so can you please...umm...please help me up, so I can get under the blankets?" He asks.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly wanted to tell him that he had been the one to sit up and get the blankets off of him in the first place, but she didn't. She just sighed and got up from her chair to move over to him. She placed one hand on his clammy arm and the other on his back to guide him up enough for her to let go of him and pull the blanket out from under him. She spread it over him afterwards and then sat back down. "Try not to get it stuck again, okay?" She suggested. She stuck her hands in her pockets and then sighed.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey nods, "I don't plan on it." He says. He rolls over the best he could with his back facing her and he covers his head. All he wanted to do right now was sleep, and so he fell asleep. He had slept for a few hours, about two. He sits up the best he could and blinks. He still felt like shit and felt sick, but at least he could move on his own now. He blinks and looks around, and noticed that she was still here. He lets out a sigh, "So how long have I been sleeping?" He asks to her and looks at the clock on the bedside table. "Two hours?" He asks. And then he looks at her, but doesn't say anything. He just lays back down. He was hungry, but he didn't want to eat. He was afraid that he would just throw it up again. He looks over at her again, "Could you please get me some more water?" He asks her. His mouth was dry as a desert. He tried licking his dry cracked lip to wet them, but he couldn't. "Oh and thank you by the way." He says to her. "Thank you for staying with me, I know it's probably a huge pain in the ass." He adds. Then there was a knock on the door. It was the doctor checking on him. They said he was still going through withdrawls. He just gives them a look as they leave as if to say, no shit. And then his stomach growls loudly, he hadn't eaten anything since the day before. He looked rather embarrassed but didn't say anything at all about it. He just wanted to drink something.

 

[AcornTree]

Bailey answered his own question about how long he had been asleep for. There was honestly nothing to do for Lilly but twiddle her thumbs and go through calculus formulas in her head. She'd feel like she was making more progress if she was doing homework, but she didn't have it with her. She made a mental note to bring it tomorrow. Most of her volunteer hours would come on the weekends. She could manage a bit of time on Wednesdays and Fridays, but not much. She had worked it out to get in a hundred hours by the end of the semester with that schedule.

She was about to get up and get him some more water when the doctor came in though. She sat back down and waited for him to leave before she stood up again. "I'll get you some water." She heard his stomach growling and almost thought about getting him something to eat too, but he hadn't asked for it and she wasn't sure that eating would be a good idea for him. In the end, she'd brought along plain saltine crackers for him with his water, setting both on the bedside table next to him and then sitting back down again. The hard wooden chair was getting uncomfortable, but Lilly reminded herself she had sat through worse.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey watches as she comes back into the room with the water and crackers. Boy, was he hungry. Which he thought was a good sign. "Thanks." He says and begins to eat the crackers. In fact he devoured the crackers rather quickly and then downed the water. And then he lays back down, staring at the celing. He was feeling a little better now, that he had some food in his stomach. He had a feeling that he would be seeing more of her, than he or she planned on. He sighs, "Well I have a feeling that we will be seeing more of each other than we both plan on. So maybe we should get to know each other a little better, so things aren't so awkward. Like they are now." He says to her with another sigh. He had no clue where to begin, to tell her anything. And what if he said something wrong and it made things even more awkward or she judges him for the choices that he made? But that was a choice that he was willing to make as well as a chance that he was willing to take too.

He sighs again, "Well I guess I can tell you this." "The reason I got into Herion, was because I had been on other drugs. When I was a teenager, because my biological mother killed herself, drowned herself in the bath tub. For what reason, no one knows. So I started smoking reefer, to get rid of the feelings of depression, as well as guilty feelings because I thought it was my fault. When it really wasn't. A few years later, my father remarried. This upset me and I was still depressed and such. So I decided to try harder drugs which led to what I had been taking." He says to her with another sigh. He had no clue why he had just told her that. He didn't tell anyone that, but he guessed it was because he felt more comfortable around her. He just hopped that she understood and didn't judge him too bad.

 

[AcornTree]

Lilly really did not want to get to know Bailey what-so-ever. She didn't care if it was awkward or not. Unfortunately, Bailley was already spilling his guts. Lilly pressed her lips together as he spoke. His mother killing herself was tragic, but, many people suffered the death of their loved ones and did not do drugs. On top of that, he still had his father. She clenched her jaw a little and looked away from Bailey. "Sorry about your mom." She said. She wasn't lying about that. She really was. She just didn't get his choices after that, and she was neither impressed nor felt pity for him. She just thought it was pretty stupid. He'd ruined whatever life he'd had left and probably pushed away and hurt his father in the process like the selfish prick he likely was. Heroin. She hated heroin. Couldn't his guy have done... well... she wasn't sure what other drugs there were besides pot but he could have done something else. She had to get stuck with another fucking heroin user, and the more she thought about it the more angry it made her.

 

[Skedaddle]

Bailey took her silence as anger. So he figured that she was angry, but he couldn't figure out why. Was she angry that she had to watch him like some two year old? Was she angry because she had to be stuck here? These were some of the questions that were floating around inside his head. Another question was: why would she be mad at him for the choices he chose? It was his life not hers. It made him a little angry but not much if that was the answer. What made his anger disperse, was another thought. He thought that maybe she should be a little open minded about things. At least he was here trying to get help, trying to get his life turned around again. He laid there swimming in his own thoughts. But another question surfaced, it was one that he had been wondering since he first met her. He could tell that she didn't really want to be here and didn't feel any pity or anything toward drug users. So why on earth was she here? He could tell that she hadn't come on her own accord. Then he decided to speak. "I can tell you don't want to really be here, and you have a view about druggies being worthless and usless. Then why the hell are you here? I can tell you didn't come here on your own accord, like I did." He says to her. Which was partly true, no one had to drag him here, he had come on his own. Shouldn't that prove something to her that he wanted to get clean and get the help he needed? Or is that a bunch of bull shit to her?