Offensive and Gorey. [Closed.]

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Cynical

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Oh god. This was stupid. Very stupid. It shouldn't even be fucking snowing today, it's not winter anymore. Fuck. Fuck this.
Clearly, Edgar was not a happy camper. He had manged to lock himself away and hermit from this bullshit snow for the whole winter and now here he was stuck some, very out of season, snow. Not much, mind you, but enough to ruin his night. He just wanted a fucking cigarette.
Edgar sighed, wishing he had put on a coat over his turtle neck. Did he even have a coat anymore? Not likely, not that he thought about it. Not that it mattered as he was far enough from home that it was not worth lugging himself back without his smokes.

"Fucking hell..."

He breathed, pulling up the neck of his shirt. At least the cold weather made it so he could over his scars without earning any 'why are you wearing a long sleeved shirt it's hot as balls out' looks, and covered he was. Gloves pulled over the sleeves of turtle neck, pants tucked into proper boots.
Thank god he had no facial scars.
No, cigarettes. Enough of this side thought bullshit.

Conveniently, the dog he had just shuffled by reeked of smoke. Backpedaling some, Edgar stopped more or less in front of the other. Clearly unconformable, he spoke;

"You smoke?"​
 
It was late, and he was hurrying his way home because it was just so horribly cold out that his nose was starting to burn from it being too wet. Axe was not entertained at the fact that it decided to snow on this spring day, and he almost regretted moving North to this shitbucket. He shuffled to get out of this insistent nip at his pawpads were making him almost dance as he walked along the cold ground. Why didn't he wear shoes? Axe was half an idiot so it wasn't really too surprising that he would walk out of his house without shoes on. He was lucky if he even would get the right color clothing on because of his colorblind ass much less could the dog remember that humans and other creatures like he would often find themselves in clothing, which included shoes. The one thing he did not forget this day was his jacket. The only thing that was warm on his body at the moment was his hands that were wrapped in his pockets and gripping the objects within. Axe could never be found without a pack of cigarettes, or his marijuana either, though it was questionable if he always had rolling papers or a bowl for the marijuana. This day was lucky because he had a spare pack of rolling papers along with the little baggy of marijuana and then his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, of course.


He silently pressed on, his mind as numb as his feet and he didn't even notice the guy who passed him rather quickly at first. The thing that caught his attention was the smell that was as sharp as the cold air that nipped at him. Axe stopped for a second and turned to be greeted with the very thing that the smell was coming from. His nose wrinkled and he quickly resorted to breathing through his mouth. It wasn't a very good idea, but he needed to breathe somehow. When he was asked if he smoked, Axe quickly took the pack from his pocket and opened the pack and took two out. One for himself and the other for the stranger. "Ya need a light too, bro?" Axe quickly asked before replacing his pack and then taking his lighter out, flicking it and putting the flame to the end of his cigarette and then he offered the lighter to the stranger.

They were lucky to be standing close to a light which reflected the true color of the dog's hair. It was much like looking into the nightsky, but with a heavy greenish tint to it. It was questionable of if Axe was really a being that was part of this world or not, and truth was, the male was not of this world, no, he came from space itself, and he only settled on this planet to keep his head low from the other immortals that might be trying to end his immortal life. ​
 
One smoke will be fine for the night. Just for the night, then I can go out and get more. Properly.

Edgar nodded, taking the smoke and the lighter from him. He quickly lit it and handed it back. Borrowing this shit felt so fucking gross, and it had to be written all over the man's face.
Subtlety was not his strong suit.

"Thanks, mutt..."

He muttered, eyes sinking to his feet. Fuck, did he have to stick around and chat now? Edgar had every little idea on how things like this were meant to play out normally. He really didn't want to stick around, and he wanted to talk to this flea bag of a thing even less. Edgar let out a soft, under the breath groan as he tugged up his gloves. The last thing he needed was any questions about his scars. They were likely some god awful purple colour thanks to this cold.

"So. You're... Colourful, ey?"​
 
The stranger seemed to be thankful, even though he smelt of bleach and death, and Axe gave a small smile at the word "thanks" but the word that followed made his smile turn into something tight and forced rather than a real, true smile that he had been giving only miliseconds before the words "mutt" found his sensitive ears. Axe put the smoke back up to his lips and took another drag, and his large ears fell back on his head. Axe had the urge to just leave, and he was about to turn away and walk the rest of the way home, but the awkward question that came next made him stay.


Axe turned his head towards the much smaller, decidedly more human than Axe was used to dealing with. He didn't mind humans, no, rather he was fond of them, but this guy seemed to be....Off for some reason. His long ears flicked lightly, and tail twitched back and forth before he actually took the time to answer the awkward question he was presented with. "It's not like I chose my appearance. My mother tells me I look a lot like my father..." he spoke, the words just as awkward as when he presented with the question. As if it wasn't already an awkward conversation, Axe decided to speak the question that pried at his mind since the very second he had been stopped by the other.

"Any reason you smell funny like that?" the attempt at small talk was not particularly something that either of them seemed to be good at, though Axe was probably the better of the two, considering the only words that escaped the other's mouth were pretty insulting.
 
Oh god, Edgar had forgotten just how awful normal cigarettes were. He glared at the offensive little stick before he put it back in his mouth.

It will have to do, for now.

Edgar just watched the other as he spoke. His expressions were not something he really understood, given that Edgar had never had or had even really dealt with any sort of dog before. He tended to avoid the dirty things and not knowing drove him up the fucking wall. Edgar had kind of prided himself on being able to read people like a book.However, whatever this god damn dog was doing was like someone shut his nose in the very book. His expression changed almost immediately when the dog asked why he 'smelt funny'. It was a question that clearly put him on edge, and almost out right upset him.

"... What do you mean, exactly?"

He really didn't want to know the answer, however.


​
 
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Axe realized that maybe this guy had a problem with just...everything. First he glared at the cigarette, as if it had done something offensive other than exist towards him, and this was strange because Axe just couldn't fathom what could be wrong with the cigarette even though the man asked for the very cancer stick that he glared offensively at. Asking the question that he did probably wasn't too intelligent, but the bite it had was just as tastefully snide as he was. He cracked a crude smile and shrugged his broad shoulders. "Was just fuckin wit ya, dude." he let the words quickly run off his tongue and he put his cigarette to his lips and he inhaled the smoke that filtered from it.


"But nah, seriously, what's up with that look at that cig though, ya wanted something else ta' smoke, friend?" the dog asked, a friendly chuckle coming from his maw. Axe was a pretty laid back dude and ready to make friends when he could, even if they were weird.
 
Oh. A joke. Fuckin... Thank god.


However, Edgar still did try to discreetly sniff at his sleeve.

"No I just... I'm use to different ones... That's all."

It was the truth. He mainly smoked mainly Djarum Blacks, clove cigarettes, but he avoided stating it. Even this shut in knew how terribly hipster it sounded.
Murderer was a fine title, but not hipster.
He glanced away, shuffling his feet. He wanted to leave. He got what he set out for it was time to get out of this terrible outside bullshit. But no, he had to start chatting with this fucking flea bag and if he left without prompt Edgar feared the suspicion that it would bring. so here he was stuck in this awkward conversational loop.
His turn.

"You... Smoke something else, by the sounds of it?"

Edgar didn't care. Not in the slightest. This was already the longest he'd been out of the house in months and he hated it. Besides, he hadn't gotten to feed his poor Bubba all day. He hadn't gotten anything to feed the thing. Wait. That could be his way out, couldn't? A hungry pet at home. But, he didn't have anything to feed the gator, and he couldn't risk saying he had to leave this running into this blue nightmare again.
There's nothing for him... To eat...

The thought trailed off as he found himself looking at Axe once more.
Gators did commonly eat people's pets.
People's dogs.​
 
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