My Best Friend Died

[Waking Nights]

I'm just going to talk about it I guess. I've been holding it in for a while. I've told a few of my other close friends but...pretty recently like a month or so. My best friend...she died. I'm not going to go into the details other then it wasnt a happy or easy affair that caused it to happen. I've just been thinking about her as of late. We use to always talk about the stupidest shit, all night long. Someone who really...just enjoyed my company. No matter the stupid shit I said she'd be there and tell me how cool it was that I knew that, or tell me a fact in return.

We...talked about everything and anything. She'd always listen and now she's gone. One of the most amazing people I've ever met is gone. I always say it doesnt get to me, that I'm alright. But I'm not. Every so often, I just find myself thinking on her, late at night when no one else is awake and I just cry. I miss her so much. I dont know how to handle this anymore. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm going to put her memory and who she was to good use to help others like she helped me...but I know I cant, I barely make a difference with anything I do.

To some of you this might sound stupid, the fact I'm so torn up about my best friend and not say a pet or family member, but the difference is I was so insanely close with this person. We went through a lot together, and my life...its been hard sometimes. My friends have a habit of either disappearing...or I guess now dying. I've been told how annoying I am to my face, told off and put down. And she was just...always there, always. It wasnt even romantic or stupid like that. She was someone I knew I could always trust. Always. Now she's gone, what the fuck am I going to do.

 

[SacredWarrior]

I'm sorry for your loss honey :( Being torn up about losing your best friend isn't stupid. Your best friend was probably like family to you and losing her was probably just as bad as losing a family member.

While I've never lost any of my close friends via death, I do know what it feels like to have that one person who's always been there suddenly die. In my case, it was my mother.

I know you may not believe this right now but everything will be okay. Your best friend will be with you in your heart and memories and no one can take that away. It seems to me that you have issues with low self-esteem due to how badly you've been treated in the past by others. Try to remember what your best friend would tell you and repeat it to yourself every day if you have to. Believe in your own strength and become the person she would want you to be.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

There's nothing I can say that will ease the pain, nobody can do that. It's hard to lose someone, especially somebody that close to you. The pain never really leaves, you just make room for it and continue to use your legs to try and move through rushing water. There'll be times when you fall and have a hard time getting to your feet again, times when you don't want to. You have more people walking through the water with you who will be willing to lend you a shoulder.

*hugs* I'm so very sorry for your loss, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.