I'm just going to talk about it I guess. I've been holding it in for a while. I've told a few of my other close friends but...pretty recently like a month or so. My best friend...she died. I'm not going to go into the details other then it wasnt a happy or easy affair that caused it to happen. I've just been thinking about her as of late. We use to always talk about the stupidest shit, all night long. Someone who really...just enjoyed my company. No matter the stupid shit I said she'd be there and tell me how cool it was that I knew that, or tell me a fact in return. We...talked about everything and anything. She'd always listen and now she's gone. One of the most amazing people I've ever met is gone. I always say it doesnt get to me, that I'm alright. But I'm not. Every so often, I just find myself thinking on her, late at night when no one else is awake and I just cry. I miss her so much. I dont know how to handle this anymore. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm going to put her memory and who she was to good use to help others like she helped me...but I know I cant, I barely make a difference with anything I do. To some of you this might sound stupid, the fact I'm so torn up about my best friend and not say a pet or family member, but the difference is I was so insanely close with this person. We went through a lot together, and my life...its been hard sometimes. My friends have a habit of either disappearing...or I guess now dying. I've been told how annoying I am to my face, told off and put down. And she was just...always there, always. It wasnt even romantic or stupid like that. She was someone I knew I could always trust. Always. Now she's gone, what the fuck am I going to do.