Yikes...Well recently I have had a lot of experience with losing someone I loved and cared for.
In the past few years I have lost my principle, my mum's best friend, my cousin, my cat, and my uncle. I lost my principle, who was a really great guy and he was really nice, to something no one really could have prevented. I lost my Mum's best friend, and sort of my second Mum or Aunt, to a brain aneurism suddenly one day. I lost my cousin due to a jealous ex boyfriend who shot an killed her. I lost my cat to a disease that wasn't curable and I wasn't there for her and I couldn't even bury her. Finally, I lost my Uncle who I was really close to when I was younger. He didn't die, but he is a paranoid schizophrenic who attempted to kill my family and so he is now no longer a part of anything and he is dead in everyone else's eyes.
I'm honestly hardly over any of them, just my principle's death because he wasn't a part of my family, but I do still feel sad about it because of his family. I've tried to deal with the pain when my Mum's friend died, but I felt I needed to be strong for the rest of my family because I saw my Mum cry and I hadn't seen her cry since I was about 3 or 4 and that was due to my asshole of a father. I felt like I needed to be there for her and my sister and my brother because I was the oldest, I was second in line to take responsibility and since my Mum wasn't in any condition to help us, I helped my brother and sister and her. The same happened when my cousin was murdered. My brother was the closest to her, being in her grade and talking up until the day before she was shot, and seeing him crying at her funeral broke my soul. It honestly did. He was the strongest out of all of us and only once have I seen him cry with that much hate and sadness. It honestly haunts me still to this day and when I think about it, I feel like crying. She would have graduated with my brother this year if she hadn't have been murdered in 2010, so it was a bittersweet grad for us. When my cat died, I was broken. It was the one and only death that would mostly effect me. I hated it. I wasn't even there to be with her when they had to put her down. I couldn't even bury her because the disease had to be destroyed, so she was cremated. The only things I have let of her are her collars. The very first one I ever gave her, the one she wore the most, and the one I gave her for Christmas that she only got to wear for not even a month and was the last one she ever was able to wear. I was even doubting both my Mum's and the vet's decision, thinking that maybe something else was wrong, something treatable, but when I looked up the disease she had for myself, I knew that was what she had because of the symptoms and how she acted. I know what some people say "How can animal deaths be so traumatic?", well my kitty was my kitty, I had her since she was a kitten and I was a kid myself and I loved her even more than my boyfriend. She was honestly always there for me, purring to make me feel better when I was sad or trying to distract me from studying by laying on my books so I could pet her. I loved her, and even though we have two kittens, no other cat is ever going to replace her.
Anyways, after that Mitten-rant-of-sorrow, basically all I need is time to get over things, but it takes a long time. In some cases you may never feel the same way again once a person or animal you care about dearly passes away, and other times you are able to get over it. I made a point not to read Osso's post until now, and I fully agree with him as well; remember the good times and remember the old them, those are the times you want to keep in your mind to pass on stories to your kids or friends in later years.