"Life ain't fair"

[Hatsune Candy]

Time and time again I have heard the phrase, "Life ain't fair," and been told to get over it, mostly from my parents and other family members as I was growing up. But quite frankly, this saying has always bothered me and after hearing it so many times I have adapted the belief that life is only unfair because we allow it to be.

We spend so much time forcing others to accept that life isn't fair that we don't even think to try to change that fact. And yet there are those few, such as Martin Luther King Jr.(best example I could come up with), who dare to challenge that mind set by actively making life more fair for others. They refuse to accept the norms of their society, and without them, the world wouldn't exist as it does today. I have no doubt in my mind that at least one person had said to them at some point that, "Life ain't fair, get over it."

Now imagine if everyone could get out of the mindset that you can't change the unfairness of life, the world would be so much better off. At the very least people would be less cold hearted.

Buuut I'm not here to preach, I want to know what your opinions are on the matter. I don't see this topic discussed very often, if ever, so I am extremely curious.

 

[Fijoli]

Life is what you make it.

 

[Minibit]

I resented "life ain't fair" as a kid, mostly because it was used like 'because I said so' in place of a proper explanation.

Now, I only resent it when it's used as an excuse.

"Dude I bought a box of cookies and you are all of them overnight before I could even have any. That's not fair"
"Life ain't fair"

Is no bueno because in this situation, it's being used to dismiss the consequences of bad behaviour, and as an excuse to not change that behaviour. It would piss me off for these reasons.

however, sometimes the way things work really just isn't fair. Sometimes there's no way to equally satisfy everybody. In fact, a lot of the time that's the case. Racism, sexism, the homeless problem, various victims plights such as the shaming of rape victims, are all things that are unfair and will take a very long time to change, if they ever do.

This term is often misused, but it shouldn't be disowned outright.

 

[Disgruntled Goat]

Life isn't fair.

That's all there is to it. If you want to make things fair, then you've got to balance the scales yourself; you can't count on "life" or another person doing it for you.

 

[Diana]

"Life isn't fair" isn't supposed to be used for all kinds of circumstances. O__O It's means that sometimes things just happen that are out of your control and really suck, and that you've got to learn how to deal with it. You would never want to apply that saying to a situation that is inappropriate. Like someone getting beat up for being gay. That's not a situation of Life Being Unfair, that's people being dicks. >>

I think a lot of people say Life Isn't Fair for a lot of wrong reasons. >> Like when you're tired of someone bitching about something needlessly and you can't think of anything better to say and don't want to tell them to shut up. OR on the opposite spectrum, some people say it when they're just being assholes and don't care to offer anything constructive. >:[


There's a TON of little sayings like that, and they have to be applied to the right situations, cause obviously they don't hold up in aaaalll situations. O_O

 

[York]

"Life doesn't get better because it goes easier on you... Life gets better because you build up a resilience to it's problems it'll throw at you." Not sure who said that, but I guess it describes life pretty well, it's a rollecoaster sometimes tbh and alot of the time it's better to figure out ways you can work with the situation without becoming oblivious to it.

 

[Asmodeus]

Yep - ideological bullshit, prescribed mainly by one generation trying to control another.

A lot of the world's problems could be solved by wiping out the conservative, religious, uneducated post-war generation. Sure, more problems would arise and we would lose a lot of talent. But after seeing the inheritance of hatred in Northern Island, the American South and the Middle East, I would probably advocate a decapitation of this kind of trickle-down negativity.

 

[Brovo]

Life is like boxing. It isn't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can take a hit and keep going.

"Life isn't fair" is like saying that water is indifferent: It's a true enough statement that deafeningly underscores a brutally simple truth, that in this universe where children can live five agonizing minutes before dying after birth, it isn't that life ain't fair, it's that life is incapable of it. Life isn't alive, life is just the term we've attributed to mean "everything living", and it often gets conflated with other vague terms like "mother nature" and "god", it means little and in a conversation it's best used with people who can't understand further implications (ex: children), not adults.

So, from one adult to another: No, life isn't fair... Because life isn't a singular entity, nor is it sentient or conscious, nor does it have any greater purpose than simply to be. The only one who you can control is yourself in any given situation, and it takes years to master yourself: Your emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs and opinions, and being able to dispose of the bad ones while keeping the good ones... Even then, "good" is rather nebulous, as it's perfectly okay to feel sorrow and anger sometimes, even appropriate given the situation at hand. If a friend betrays you, you rightfully should feel angry and depressed. If you lose a friend (like I know you have), it's right for you to be frustrated, to feel alone... But realize that no matter how much pain you feel on the inside, no knight on a white horse is going to come and rescue you in the night and whisk you away to a beautiful kingdom. That's a fairy tale we use to comfort ourselves.

The only factor you can control in your life is your actions and perspective... Even then, you will make many mistakes, and from each mistake a lesson can be learned to improve you as a person, or to simply make you stronger, faster, better, smarter, and so on.

In Short: "Life isn't fair" is true, because life isn't an omnipotent and omniscient entity steering your course. Life is just a series of biological processes and you are an entity that exists somewhere within that. The only thing you can control in that myriad of incredible complex processes is you, so instead of seeing it as "life isn't fair", see it as "another lesson to be learned".

 

[Hatsune Candy]

"Life isn't fair" isn't supposed to be used for all kinds of circumstances. O__O It's means that sometimes things just happen that are out of your control and really suck, and that you've got to learn how to deal with it. You would never want to apply that saying to a situation that is inappropriate. Like someone getting beat up for being gay. That's not a situation of Life Being Unfair, that's people being dicks. >>

I think a lot of people say Life Isn't Fair for a lot of wrong reasons. >> Like when you're tired of someone bitching about something needlessly and you can't think of anything better to say and don't want to tell them to shut up. OR on the opposite spectrum, some people say it when they're just being assholes and don't care to offer anything constructive. >:[


There's a TON of little sayings like that, and they have to be applied to the right situations, cause obviously they don't hold up in aaaalll situations. O_O

Well, no, of course not. I didn't make this very clear and I apologize, but my focus isn't really on the saying itself. It's on the mentality that it creates for people. When you hear phrases like that so often, especially as a kid growing up, as most people do, it tends to put you in the mind set that there's nothing you can do to make life better, that you just have to live with how things are. You start to believe that only big people like Rosa Parks and such can really "change the world". But what people forget is that these famous activists that they always hear about started off as normal people and they just decided one day that, "You know what? I'm not gonna stand for this anymore."

Rosa Parks? All she did was refuse to give away her seat and that help sparked the whole of the civil rights movement. Before then, mistreatment and prejudice against African Americans was the norm and they just had to deal with it. Now days it's unacceptable because people have long since proved that we shouldn't have to live that way. And that all started because some lady didn't give away her seat.

My point is the "deal with it" mentality is still very prominent in today's society, even though time and time again people have gone out and proved that it is not the way to go. It just makes no sense to me. Side note: Yes, I realize that some parts of life are uncontrollably unfair and that is something we just have to deal with, that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is how the "deal with it" mentality has expanded beyond the uncontrollable to things that we could change, but made to believe that we can't as a result of this widespread mind set.

 

[Kooriryu]

"If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.

If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction."​

― Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

 

[Alan]

By nature, life truly isn't "fair."

If you want something, work towards it, reach out, and take it. Make it yours. Don't expect it to be provided to you under the guise of "fairness".

(Note that I use the word "you" as a general term, and not directly referring to anyone in particular)

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but it's how I've always felt.

 

[Spammy]

There is a vast, uncaring world out there. There are many things that are beyond your control. Though I believe that everyone deserves a fair shake, there is nothing apart from humanity that will enforce it. You need to have made your peace with that fact or you will go through life bitter and angry about the things that you have no control over and cannot change.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

Life isn't fair and never will be.

You can either sit around and cry about how your life sucks,or you can change your attitude and move on.

 

[Asmodeus]

You can either sit around and cry about how your life sucks,or you can change your attitude and move on.

.....OR change the world. Yes. That's the point most of us are making.


You don't have to be Ned Flanders and post Facebook pictures about how love is the heart's double rainbow or some shit. But nor do you have to be Batman and rasp on about how I've seen shit, Kid, and you might as well suck it up now. Both are only escalating the problem.


That sweet, gooey centre is what we're after. Too much negativity and too much positivity will leave us all electrocuted.

 

[Razilin]

Ok, gonna have to remember this line:

Too much negativity and too much positivity will leave us all electrocuted.

 

[Hellis]

"That sweet, gooey centre is what we're after. Too much negativity and too much positivity will leave us all electrocuted."

I for one, have never tried to power a electric chair with the use of kittens. No sir.

I will just point to Brovo. He said what I wanted to say.