Keeping up Your Façade.

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M

MiNaGi

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Original poster
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Name: Alex Mitchell
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Bisexual
Age: 17(turning 18)
Personality: Reserved, well-mannered, short-spoken, charming.
Short bio: Alex' family was in grave need of a boy when she was born, and instead of trying their luck again, they raised Alex as a boy and forced her to acknowledge that she was indeed a male. She's been putting up that show for her whole life and now when her engagement to a maiden from another rich family is closing in on her, she starts getting anxious and the mask is hard to keep up.
((Character in spoiler))

Alex was just hoping that for once, she'd be able to tell someone. Out of anyone, the one who should know would be here fiancée, right? She was nervous and had no idea who she was going to get engaged to when that time came. In a few weeks, her birthday, her 18th birthday, were due, and she would be engaged to some girl at the party, of her own choice. As long as she was rich and pretty, any girl was fine. Alex just wanted to be able to be normal, but she was by no means anything like that. She had been raised as a boy and taught that no one could know the truth. But she was worried for her wedding night. What would she do? What would she say? Could she really hide that? Obviously her bride would want a wedding night, a night where they shared bed and did what newlyweds and couples obviously did. And it wasn't as if Alex had anything against girls (quite frankly, she liked girls just a tad better than boys) but her feelings wouldn't be mutual with her bride's. She knew that this bride would never sleep with her. Because they were women. And women just couldn't sleep together.

At the party night, she was calm, collected and charming as always, but her head was somewhere else. Worried, in a sort of loop of nervousness. Who would want to become her bride? Who would she fall for at this night? She was dressed in a cream white suit that made her dark hair stand out and fit with her pale skin. Her dark red, gleaming eyes searched the room. There were so many beautiful women. So many girls that would possibly take Alex' heart. So many girls that would get their own heart broken with her lies. She could do nothing but feel hatred towards her family. They dragged her into this, and it was too late to do anything about now. She had always been lead along and before she knew, she'd been trapped. She just wanted love. Love from someone who knew the true Alex. Not the shining and smiling shell of the Mitchell family's son, Alexander.
 
Esther sat delicately on the edge of her seat, her cat like grey eyes skimming over the different colored dresses her mother had laid out for her to choose. "Now Es, remember, tonight is all about charm and grace. None of the rebellious 'I don't need a man to take care of me' nonsense you like to spit out about."
Esther couldn't resist rolling her eyes, tucking a strand of her wild soft black hair behind her ear, "I don't. You know it as well as I do. This family, the woman is the head of the house hold. We go through things most men fear just to prove we're ready."
Her fingers reached around her side, gently brushing her fingers across the marks on her back. The tattoo. The symbol of her family, a dragon. It was the same tattoo every woman who ran their family wore. While the men liked to pretend they ran the family, they knew who it was that really pulled the strings.

Hours later her mother had tied her hair back in a messy seeming bun that still seemed elegant with her curls, her eyes smothered in smoky grey shadow and black liner. The dress she wore was a tight cinched black gown with her corset hugging her fair form nicely. Her elbow length gloves were a soft ivory and her diamond earrings and necklace hung heavily on her form. Don't even get her started on the heels her mother had stuffed her into. She leaned against the wall, trying to blend in. She had met a girl named Anna who seemed content to do the talking for the both of them which was nice for Esther. It allowed her to barely pay attention while her eyes scanned the room.
There. Alexander, the star child of the evening. Her mother had told her to charm him, lure him in. She pardoned herself from Anna gently with a slight bow and moved effortlessly across the room. She needed to observe him better, this charming seeming boy. Learn what sort of behaviors he reacted to best before she moved in to make a move.
If tonight went well, her mother would be a problem in the past, for Esther would soon to telling her what to do. The idea itself brought a smirk to her full lips.





This is Esther by the way. ^.^ When she's relaxing at home that is. Esther.jpg
 
Alex was looking around the room. It was expected of her to gracefully offer a greeting and a dance to any girl who came and introduced herself. So far he had danced with nothing less than twelve young women, all in dresses that shone beautiful colors, all of them dolled up for the evening. She had been quite outstandingly dressed too, at least for a "guy". Her white suit was laced with cuffs and collar edges of gold, and the family emblem, a circle with an eagle inside it, proudly shone in the most beautiful silver at her chest. Her shirt under the tuxedo was blood red, and went well with her eyes that had the same color, unusual and enchanting. She had a tall frame and most girls were luckily below her own height. From what she could observe, from hushed whispers and giggling, young females, her clothes were probably a hit. She was wearing creamy white gloves, and she was walking around elegantly, seemingly waiting for the females to approach him. Because in these cases of the man having a woman, the women had to present themselves, and then if he liked the woman, he'd invite her for a dance. Alex' movement came to a halt as she saw Esther. So far the most beautiful girl. There was something in her; something that made Alex' head spin, made her throat feel dry. But she kept up her façade. She felt like Esther would be a person to know her secret one day.
 
Esther took her time observing him, sipping gently on the flutes of champagne they had offered. He was tall and graceful in his cream and gold suit, looking every bit like an angel. Lovely. Girls seemed to be literally throwing themselves at him, begging for a dance or two. His dancing was lovely, his feet seemed to barely even move and with each dance Esther grew more impressed. He was tall and lean, his face softly angled for a mans, and his lips seemed almost as full as hers. In a discreet way, his face seemed a little feminine. But it had this charming appeal to it, which Esther found herself liking.
Though she had noticed, his eyes kept scanning the room, like he was looking for someone in particular. A girl? Esther's own eyes skimmed the room with his gaze. If he was looking for a certain woman in this room, she wished him luck. Between bodies dancing and the ones lining the room, there was no way to pick anyone out of the crowd, not even her parents.
She went back to studying him, but his eyes had fallen on her while she hadn't been paying attention. He seemed to just be staring at her, frozen seeming in time.
All Esther could do for a moment was return his stare, caught off guard. Such a lovely person, how could a man ever be so lovely? She shook her head, tucking a strand of her wild hair out of her face, pursing her lips gently as she did so. Was she...nervous? Esther Ravilier, nervous over talking to a boy? Now this was the greatest irony.
She shoved it back though, an easy smile pulling the corners of her lips back in a smirk. She walked toward him, head held high unlike the other girls who had kept their eyes lowered. No, Esther wanted a closer look at him.
She moved to stand by his side, looking over the party before them. Several pairs of eyes were on them. She looked up at him with a gentle smirk and this close she could see his eyes were a dark and alluring color of red. She had never seen someone's eyes like this, it was a startling color of rubies.
"Tell me, can you keep a secret Monsieur?"
 
Alex couldn't care less for all those girls, she didn't feel attracted or drawn by any of them, not in the slightest. It was disappointing, really. Most of them were beautiful, stunning, even, in their colorful dresses with lovely curls of hair falling down their shoulders. Beautiful and absolutely desirable for a "man" who was getting married very soon. But all those eyes on her, those uncomfortable stares, the desperate looks in the eyes of those girls. None of that appealed to Alex. She didn't want to marry someone just because she was trying to hurry to get married. No. Alex wanted to marry someone who she at least liked just a little bit.
As her eyes had scanned the room, she had honestly not noticed that Esther was staring at her. She had been bewildered with all of the attention, the amount of people, everything made her a bit jumpy, it almost made her want to run away. But she kept a perfectly calm and reserved posture, her eyes still scanning the room briefly for strangers looking in her direction.
Once he looked back his eyes met with that same girl from before. He stood silent as they had a seemingly silent exchange of words through their gazes. Or that was what it felt like.
Alex let the moment sink into her memory and stay there strongly, feeling like this girl was possibly going to be very, very important to her. She didn't seem nervous at all, no, her posture seemingly emitted that she was curious, to talk to this beautifully dressed girl. But she didn't say a word, rather waited for the female to approach her as she had been taught.
And thus, her true feelings were shoved back into her mind where they wouldn't be a bother. No racing hearts or nervous sweating or blushing. She would keep a straight face and a right up and down posture like that of a real man.
When she stood at Alex' side, she glanced at her for a second before her gaze were back onto the party in the ballroom. A lot of people had come to a halt in their dancing and was looking at them. When Alex looked at her, she noticed Esther looking directly into her eyes. She wondered for a second if it had something to do with her eye color.
"That depends, miss... but I am curious to hear this secret of yours, miss." She said in her soft, melodic voice as she looked out at the party.
 
The connection was clear between them, and eyes seemed to watch their every movement, the party seeming to come to a halt of sorts around them. Or was that just her over thinking it? Either way, Esther didn't care to know. Right now she was simply focused and the boy standing beside her, no more than a breath away from her. Maybe that was why they were staring, because she was standing so close to him. Unless dancing, lady never stood this close to a man. But then again, Esther was not your average lady. That's why, while this Spring's fashion was open backed dresses, her gown covered all of her back and shoulders. Because a lady with a tattoo? Yeah, who would ever want to marry that?
His voice was soft and melodic, and his eyes. Esther could stare in his eyes for the rest of the night and she still wouldn't get tired of watching them. That lovely color...
She smirked as he stated that he was curious to hear this secret of hers. Hooked. Now just two more steps to go.
She stood up on her tip toes, placing a hand gently on his shoulder to help her keep her balance as she moved her lips closer to his ear, using her other hand to block her lips from everyone, whom was now certainly staring, searching eyes.
She smiled, "The story going around this evening is that you're vain." She smiled, watching his eyes with a soft giggle. Start the evening off with a playful joke. Because God knows that dancing makes SUCH an impression these days.
She set herself back down on her own two feet again, gently patting his shoulder, "Oh come now, you don't even know my name, how am I supposed to trust you with my dirty secrets?" She gave him another playful smile.
 
Alex was staring off into the distance, unable to place the connection between them. It was strange, even scared her a bit. She wanted to drag herself out of the party, retreat. She couldn't lie to another person in her life, and especially not one she'd fall in love with. She was more focused on this than anything else. Because who'd want to marry her? Just because she was dressed up prettily, her true identity would scare anyone away. She would be called dirty and wrong and it was all because of her parents. The girl would be bribed to keep her secret from everyone, but then Alex' wife would stare at her as if she was some sort of unhuman creature, some sort of monster that had to be wiped off the face of the earth.
She noticed the way Esther kept staring into her eyes, but didn't say anything about it. She knew that there was probably nothing to it, and she'd rather go away, up to her room and sleep, hide.
She glanced around the crowd as they seemed to halt and stare at them. She didn't know why but it made her want to hide even more.
When Esther placed a hand on her shoulder, she didn't flinch but let the other female do as she desired. She could see how eyes in the crowd widened and hushed whispers became just a tidbit louder because now something was really happening.
Hearing what she had to say, Alex stared off into the distance. "Oh, well... I must say I'm hoping that I will not find love tonight... or ever... no woman would desire to marry me, miss." She said in a soft voice that held more truth than Esther would ever know.
"Oh, I wasn't really interested in a secret. But I want to kill the time and pretend I'm actually looking for a future wife. I was thinking of becoming the lonely wolf. It is much more suited of me." She wasn't smiling but just staring blankly at the crowd as she spoke.
"But I was going to see if I could entrust you with a secret. It seems that this I cannot do."
 
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Esther wasn't used to being this close to people, but she mentally gritted her teeth and just forced herself to be calm and confident. She looked around the room again, seeing the envy in the other girls' eyes at her being this close to him. They were jealous that she, the one girl clad in dark colors, had the nerve to be able to just walk up and lay her hands on him. She smirked at one who was openly glaring at her for touching him. The girl made a small "hmph" noise and turned her back on the pair, stalking off to go somewhere she wouldn't have to watch them at.
Esther returned her attention back to the boy she now held on to, as he spoke. She gave a small cock of her head as he spoke, stating he didn't think he would ever be married. Oh no, that wouldn't work well for her at all.
She smiled up at him, "You? Never be married? Just look at yourself dear boy, tall and charming, a lovely face and those one in a million colored eyes." She shook her head with a smile, "You have every girl in the room fawning over you, and you think you don't stand a chance at being married dear boy?" She gave a small giggle, "Oh such a silly little one."
She let her eyes drift over the faces all watching them again, using their faces to gauge whether or not her approach was working. They seemed to be glaring daggers at her for the most part, so it should be working. She met his eyes again with another smile, "And as for your secrets. We all have them. I have a few, you have a few, everyone in this room has a few. At least one of our secrets could ruin us, every single person has a secret like that. The key isn't how long you can run around hiding this secret, but how you carry yourself when it is brought out into the light and exposed. It will only ruin you if you let it."
She blinked, realizing she had gone on rambling and shook her head with a small smile, "Pardon my absent minded ramblings. Could I interest you in a dance?"
 
Alex noticed also how the maidens all glared daggers at her. Alex really couldn't see why. They were just talking, her and Esther. And she wasn't planning to get it going with a girl that she actually liked. If she were to actually fall genuinely in love with Esther, it'd only cause her pain and suffering, because obviously there was no way that Esther would ever accept what she was truly like. She looked around the crowd, her eyes examining everywhere and nowhere. Everywhere but where Esther was. She didn't want to admit to herself that she actually was getting feelings for the darkly clad young woman.
Alex never once looked at her directly, unable to comprehend the fact that Esther had no idea what pain it would be for her to hurt one of the girls in this very party room. She couldn't get married. If she did, she'd ruin a girl's life.
At that, Alex smiled sadly. "I don't want to marry. You probably do not so well understand my motives, but my mind is set. It would bring harm to the poor, innocent maiden that would have to take the toll on marrying me. There is more to me than just a face, just a voice, just a personality. And that "more" is something that no one can ever see." The expression and shine in her eyes made the whole thing seem a bit odd.
When she looked at the crowd again, most of the girls were glaring at them. She figured it was directed at Esther. "We all have secrets... but mine would wreck my world. My place in my family would be lost, all honor I could've ever gained would be lost... and most importantly... I'd lose the chance to ever fall in love with anyone. I have to let it ruin me or else my parents will not forgive me. I am Alexander Mitchell even if he doesn't exist as anything else than a mirage of who I truly am." Her words were filled with questions. Why would it destroy her? Why would Alexander Mitchell not be real? What was Alex hiding that was so dangerous?
When the question was asked, Alex felt her nervous return and she shook her head, glancing at the doors. "My pardon, miss, but I think I'll retreat for the evening. I feel rather... unwell. Let me take you up on the offer another time." She hurried out of the ball room and when she was out of there, she ran until she reached her room, leaning against the wall once she was inside. She slid to the floor and buried her head in her hands. "I'll never marry anyone..." She whispered to herself.
 
Esther was still charming, even in her blunt ways. I mean, she wasn't demanding his proposal on the spot, but she was certainly gunning for it now. This boy seemed perfect, someone who didn't seem to want to be married, someone who couldn't even look her in the eyes. Someone submissive, that's what she needed. And she would have her way, whether it be tonight or within the month, she would have her way. She would simply have to be charming and remember to keep her back covered at all costs. She could do this.
He went on, about how he didn't want to marry, how he wasn't what he seemed. That his secret would destroy anyone he became attached to. She arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him. This secret of his... she was dying of curiosity now. He had her interest peaked. She was about to ask him what his secret was, barter her way for it when he declined her dance, saying he wasn't feeling well. He pulled away from her hand laying gently on his shoulder and went off running towards a hall.
Her eyes turned to grey cat like slits. Oh no, it would not end here.
She looked around the room, now it seemed like every girl was glaring at her. Good, let them watch her. Hell, she might as well put on a show for them.
She gave a slight grin, picking her skirts up in her hands and heading off down the hall he had disappeared to, she was going to find him. Despite wearing heels, her shoes made little to no noise on the carpets as she went through his huge and empty seeming home. She followed him silently, waiting until he had cleared a corner before rushing to see which way he had gone.
He finally seemed to lunge into a room and shut the door behind him. She walked silently up to it, letting her skirts drop silently on the floor as she pressed her ear up to the door. It was silent on the other side, just a small whisper.
He sounded heartbroken, in that one little whisper and she pursed her lips. This secret of his, this burden he carried, it seemed like it took more than its' toll on him. It was crushing him. It was a very sad thing for her to witness. She understood, perfectly. She remembered the last town her and her mother had been in, when she had shown a boy her tattoo awhile back, a boy she had thought she could trust. When the whole town found out, they viewed her as a walking freak show. A lady with a tattoo? What a dishonor.
No, this boy would not have a similar fate as she had. She wanted to assure him he was not alone in the world of bearing secrets.
She didn't even knock on the door. She opened it quietly, her eyes locked on his curled form on the floor. She pursed her lips gently before walking further into the room, silent as a ghost. She sat herself down beside him gently, her hand on his shoulder again, "Monsieur, what's the matter? You have a lovely party awaiting you downstairs?"
She gave him a soft smile, trying to encourage him through silence.
 
Alex didn't know why Esther would want to marry her. She just had a pretty face, nothing else. She had never liked herself, never accepted herself for who she was. There was no way she could even think about that when she was more scared of the consequences it would have if Esther was to figure out her secret. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she ran down the corridors and had settled in her room, and it continued throbbing like a sprinting horse. She wanted it to end. She wanted never to go back to that party, Alexander's party. Not hers. And she knew that painfully well.
She knew that no one could accept her, that no one would understand or even want to understand. She was absolutely and completely sure that no one would want to marry her, and even less when she showed who she really was and what she really felt like. Because she liked Esther, sure she did, probably a bit too much. But her feelings had to end at that. A crush. She couldn't marry someone that she liked because she didn't want to get hated by them. She'd rather stay far away and hoard herself up inside her room, hide from everything and anything in order to save herself from pain.
Because of her frantic fear, Alex had not noticed that Esther had been following her to her room.
And she didn't want to notice, either way. She wanted to dwell in her pain all alone, hoping that that would make her appear stronger. If she just sealed it away, sealed away her heart, no one would know.
The floor was rather warm. It was carpeted and soft and she ran her fingers across it as she sat curled against the wall. Her breath was ragged from running, and her eyes were focused on a point between her knees. Her scarlet eyes were filled with pain, loneliness, suffering. How could she not? She was denied true love, denied feelings and most of all, denied the feeling of love towards another, and denied the feeling of love that she'd receive in return for the love that she wanted. Her heart was crumbling and turning to ice and she was hoping that it would end there.
As she sat inside the room, she felt it get smaller around her, her breathing quickening and becoming weaker, but soon the feeling subsided and left only emptiness. There was really nothing else left in her. They'd managed to break the only thing she had left; her real self.
Her heart was more than broken; it was stepped on, burnt, bleeding and not to mention broken, twisted and hurt. It was like a painful and cold, cold block in her chest, and it would be continuously stabbed as she lived her life on and on. She couldn't care less what Esther was really like, if she was a girl with a lot of secrets or if she was a perfect princess. Because she knew that either way, she couldn't have Esther as her own. She couldn't even begin to list all of the reasons why they shouldn't get married. Because she was a disgrace for her family and didn't deserve life.
She managed a sigh and as she felt Esther's presence, she darted away from the touch, denied it to herself. She didn't want to have someone who'd only hurt her again.
She curled up even more hearing Esther's words, and it stung in her heart like nails bore into it, setting their imprint on the already scarred and broken block inside her chest. "No. Downstairs they are hosting a party for Alexander Mitchell. I know no one of that name. That boy is not me, you see, I'm the puppetteer who has from birth put on the role of this "Alexander" that you claim is me. But as you can probably understand now, he is merely an illusion, a mirage. Below him... there's me."
She smiled sadly and looked away from Esther. "I understand your wish to help, I do... but... this secret I hold, the secret that wrecks and twists in my chest every day... there's nothing you can do to help it. I'm forced to keep it a secret."
 
((sorry for the late reply, had to take a shower. xD))

He seemed to be suffering, and in total torment. It reminded Esther of herself, the week after she got her mark. She had only been sixteen, and she had never felt so much pain in her life. She had laid in her bed, crying all day because of the pain. That was her suffering. Even now, just thinking about it she could still feel her back stinging. She took her free hand and ran her fingers across it now, tracing the curve of the dragon up her shoulder blades.
But Alex, he seemed content to be in his suffering by himself. It almost upset Esther, pain was something that was handled better in numbers. Pain should never divide people, but instead bring them closer together.
Alex pulled away from her touch, like she was going to slap him or something. It actually almost hurt her to see him react to her like that. She pursed her lips.
She sat her back against the wall beside him, fingers clasped gently in her lap and she listened to him talk, some things needed to be said. Some things needed to be taken off your chest some times, and this was one of those moments.
She nodded once he finished, "alright, so you're not Alex. So, who are you? Really you, not the person you were parading to be downstairs?"
She gave him a soft, almost sad smile as he said she couldn't help. "I understand there are some things in life I can't help with, some things I can't change no matter how hard I may try. But let me tell you something." She took his hand gently, whether he wanted her to or not. She held it firmly and placed it to her back. "My secret, the one that could destroy me, it lies right beneath your fingers. It may just be a portion of it, but it's the biggest portion yet." Her grey eyes were fierce holding his fiery gaze. "My father told me something once. Something that helped me when I was younger, bearing this secret I hold of my own. 'Nothing in life can control you, unless you allow it to'. Tell me, will you let this secret control you? Or will you over come it?"
She smiled gently at him, releasing his fingers from her back, "You don't have to answer me now, I can see it in your eyes you want to be alone right now. So, here's what I am going to do. I'm going back downstairs for the remainder of the evening. You can stay up here and rest, or, when you're ready, you can come find me and hold me to that dance I promised you. But I forewarn you, I'm not the greatest of dancers."
She smiled softly at him, frozen in place as a thought crossed her mind.
She thought about it for a second then decided. She leaned forward, brushing her lips to his for the briefest of seconds before pulling back. She stood, a smirk playing on her lips as she smoothed her skirts out and left the room.
She wondered if he would join her later on, or if he would simply stay upstairs. Either way, she was determined to learn his secret. one way or another.
 
Alex was still crying when she was sure no one was looking. She lived in her own suffering as she hid herself away from others and tried not to let her true feelings show. It felt like poison in her veins, like she was about to faint or throw up. She didn't want to be like this, didn't ask for it, didn't want to hide everything about herself. She watched Esther's hands with a mild absentminded gesture that seemed so unlike her. She just seemed like she was lost, lost in her pain and torment, and she indeed was just that.
Alex didn't like handling pain on her own, but it was the only way she could handle it. There was no other way for her, since she was scared that others would harm her if they figured out the truth. But she wanted to tell Esther. Why, she didn't know.
The reasons she pulled back was mostly because of the pain it caused her, the pain of being in love with someone she knew she couldn't have. Because that described her situation with Esther.
As she talked, her voice got weaker and she didn't seem like she wanted to speak more. But she had to say it, had to let someone know, had to let it out, get it off her chest. And she realized that now was probably the only chance she'd get.
She sighed and looked down. "I bear the name Alex. Not Alexander. I'm different... weaker. I have other strenghts than charm... and most of all, I can never truly be an Alexander."
She shook her head lightly as she looked at Esther. Okay. So she wanted to say it, and she was going to say it. "I know that your secret caused you pain, and I understand, I really do... you feel the pain from it everyday, but it's something you can hide away, at least. I can hide my secret too, but only in the confines of my clothing, only without marrying. If I marry, a girl will have to suffer with my secret, because it affects her more than anyone else. As yours, it is right beneath these confounds of clothing, a secret that would make most feel sickened just at the thought. A secret I've been told to bear from birth, pretend it was the indeniable truth. And look where that has gotten me. It controls me. It really does. In the fear of hurting someone, I let it control me."
She watched as her fingers were removed from Esther's back. She thought it might be a tattoo, because it was "disgraceful" for women to have. "Please... don't go. I don't want to be alone. I... for the first time in forever, I feel like I've finally found a place to breathe... and that's around you... I'm scared, yes, but.... but having you here calmed me down immensely... made me feel like I had someone to hold onto..." She said softly as she looked up at Esther with pleading eyes.
Alex watched as she froze and blinked at her, wondering what she was thinking about.
She didn't flinch as her lips were kissed, it rather made her want Esther to stay longer. Because if Esther was putting in the lot to be Alex' wife, well, she wanted at least one person on the planet to know her secret.
"Wait!" She half-yelled towards Esther as she grabbed the hand of the other female. She finally gave up, finally gave in to her true desire. "I'll... I'll tell you. But please... just stay with me for now."

((It's okay I'm going to go to sleep, I'll be back in seven hours or so xD but I won't be able to post long replies by then xD))
 
Esther patiently listened to him, knowing how badly he needed to get this off of his chest. She smiled at him as he spoke. Trying to comfort him through silence. It seemed to be the only thing she could do now.
When she got up to leave, he seemed to panic, like he didn't want her to go. She pursed her lips, but she knew she would stay. She moved back to sit next to him, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulders, pulling him to her and running her fingers gently through his hair. "If you want me to stay with you, I will. I understand what it feels like to feel completely alone. I'm here now though. I'm here." She rested her cheek against his head, running her fingers through his hair. "We all have secrets my dear, we all have secrets..."
 
Alex did enjoy the comfort, did feel as if it was worth it. She really liked Esther, and everything there was to say about her. Somehow, Alex knew that Esther wouldn't exploit her and tell everyone her secret. She hoped it wasn't just a false sense of security.
"I sincerely thank you for being here with me, it really means a whole lot to me that you do this... I've always been alone my whole life, bearing this burden just because my parents told me to. This is really hard for me... it hurts and twists but I'll try to explain. You see, my family is very strict about rules. Always have the men of the family inherited the family business, and never had a girl owned it. Of course it was the same deal in my case.." Alex sighed as she looked down, pulling herself away from Esther. "Look, I'm sorry to burst this perfect bubble that you might have made up with my face on it, but I'm... well..." She trailed off as she sighed, looking down into her own knees again. "I'm a girl, Esther." She said painfully as she curled up further.
 
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