"It's not what it looks like!"

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Minibit

Minibit

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have you ever found yourself in a situation that seemed really weird or incriminating without context? Tell us about it!
 
Yes! Oh gawd...


So, in high school, I went through an extensive amount of first aid. So when one of my friends became dehydrated, I told her (while in a classroom full of pubescent teenagers) to slowly take in the water otherwise she could go into shock (she was having a hard time seeing and stumbled about, the ambulance was coming for her) and everyone laughed their asses off because well, link the two.

Also, I mentioned long and hard around @Brovo and one can only imagine the giggle fits his little ferrety soul had with that.
 
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Like all the freaking time. I'm cursed with an atrociously untactful mouth. Gonna have to start using my gran's favourite saying - "it wasn't me, it was my brain!"
 
I'm pretty sure I have.
But oddly I can't remember any specifics. :/
 
LogicfromLogic said:
Also, I mentioned long and hard around @Brovo and one can only imagine the giggle fits his little ferrety soul had with that.
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I swear, your wife and I were just playing a friendly game of naked twister!

I don't know, countless times probably, but I'm shameless and usually make it a habit to make things seem worse than they are. I once told an old couple staring at us, my ex was my sister after sharing a kiss. So... Yeah.
 
I got almost set up into one. I can admit I am dense and have been truly naive growing but this one was one I could even see through.

First a little language explanation to help painting the picture: "Pult" can mean to things in Norwegian, "desk" and "fuck" depending on if you pronounce the "u" short or long.

9th grade classroom, sitting there minding my own business when the class idiot starts asking me "have you fucked?" He asks the a couple of times without me taking the bait. Impatient he then says: "I have fucked, my desk is right there," before promtly pointing at his desk. I went back to ignoring him.


I have a second, a lot more horrible story, that explains my ignorance and just how bad taste some jokes can get. I might tell it if you ask nicely :p
 
One particularly funny moment stands out to me...

Back in high school, I was smoking weed with my best friend's sister. Being a your typical young nerd, I naturally knew nothing about the teen girl world. My friend's sister, Jennifer, had recently purchase some random assortment of underwear with various cartoons and whatnot on them. Well, being really high I was examining the tag of the underwear because I tend to read everything in that way. Jennifer quickly snapped a picture while I was looking down, only from the angle it looked very much like I was sniffing them. My nose is actually a good six or seven inches from them, but again, the angle made it seem like they were RIGHT UP IN MY FACE. She loved the picture so much she put it up on her wall in her room. Told everyone she caught me smelling her underwear. Didn't hear the end for years and years. She still has the picture.
 
Story starts off that a friend of mine was very very sick and was stuck on the side of the highway during a snowstorm two years ago. Well I pick her up and bring her to my home as she lived alone and really needed somebody to look after her. Shivering and sweating in the cold I manage to get her back home, sat her down and wrapped her up in some blankets and proceeded to make some soup with crackers. She eats the food and no more than half an hour later she pukes it back up all over her and I and her temperature is up to 104 degrees. So now both her and I are covered in vomit. Well I helped her to the bathroom after running a luke-warm bath to cool her down and began helping her undress, to boot I'd removed my shoes and pants and tossed them to the side. Well unknown to me my girlfriend at the time had just walked in the door and walks by the bathroom to see me undressing her and nearly nude. She bails back out of the house before I had time to explain, though fortunately she saw reason and understood the circumstances.

That was a funky day.
 
I remember my youngest daughter got a piece of broken crayon stuck in her nose at a restaurant, and I had to try to dig it out. The hostess came along with a younger couple who walked by our table and saw me digging for gold up my daughter's nose. Needless to say, they requested a table away from ours. But, I got the crayon out!
 
Minibit said:
have you ever found yourself in a situation that seemed really weird or incriminating without context? Tell us about it!
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nope

everything i do is deliberate, or at least i can fake it being deliberate

and that's how i got married!

=D
 
I have horrible habits of saying things that can be interpreted in the WROOONG way when trying to explain things. Akin to, "No, you have to put it in SLOWLY!" or "That's the wrong hole." I mean, you can imagine it the wrong way, or you can think of "If you put the egg into the boiling water too fast, it will break" or "Don't put a square block into the circle shaped hole". It's just the scant way I tend to scatterbrain-ed-ly explain things that causes problem. Usually a friend will be like "Sarah!! What are you saying???" and I'm left wondering why my friends have such horrendously dirty minds.

That said when it comes to actually DOING something that looks wrong, I've little experience. Usually it involves more stupid sex jokes that form in the mind of horny teenagers.

I think the worst is once I somehow managed to get a popcorn kernel right down my shirt and it continued down to my jeans, which were just loose enough for the kernel to fall through. And I was jumping about and shaking and trying to get it out without having to go to the bathroom and go searching, and someone asked me if I just really had to go use the bathroom. And once one of my friends reached over to grab a bit of food that had fallen on someones front (notably, female. Boobs and whatnot) and was asked if she was groping the other friend. Polite action in one movement turned into something sexual to the foreign eye. Sigh.
 
"What've you been up to all summer?"

"Stripping. Lots and lots of stripping."

"..O-oh, man. Wow.. Guess.. Guess there's a market for your body type.." (Big, burly, hairy.)

(Oblivious) "Yeah well, none of those other jerks can handle doing the extra crap. Nooo, gotta be drama queens about getting more work than normal."

"Wow. That's kinda messed up. 'School custodian strips for summer wages' Scandalous and sexy."

"What? Dude, we're stripping floors. Of wax."

SODA. ALL OVER MY FUCKING CAR.
 
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