Internet Etiquette: A refreshers course

[CaptainObvious]

deleted

 

[Kurayami Tenshi]

One of the huge things I see on the internet that's handled awfully is opinions. Everyone has an opinion, and most of the time, it differs from everyone else's on the site (be it YouTube, here, Tumblr, etc.) When stating your opinion DO NOT:

Be disrespectful
Be a dick >.>
Make some BS stereotype about certain people's opinion (Ex: "All people who like such and such are gay.")
Use racial, sexist, homophobic, or ANY other kind of slurs against anyone with a differing opinion
Just plain judge people who feel a different way about it.

People on the internet take way too much advantage of the fact that they're anonymous, and feel that just because nobody knows them, that they have the right to be complete assholes. If anything, you should be nicer because you don't know anyone and they don't know you, because you don't know what the person behind the screen is going through, what kind of life they're living. I hope this was a help Miss KuroHime. :3
~Kurai (Nick)

 

[Cortexiphan Girl]

Honestly, I have the exact same social rules for the internet as I do in "real life".

Such things like:
* Agree to disagree; never use insulting or degrading remarks
* Never depreciate the usefulness of others in order to make yourself feel better
* Never whine or complain excessively; don't use other people as an outlet (for anger, sadness, frustration, etc.)
* Always compliment people- treat them like the individual they are
* If you can't improve a situation, leave it alone
* Etc.

I don't really use the internet as extensively as a lot of people do, but using the same ethics that I use in "real life" has always kept me out of trouble and has attracted like-minded people to me.

As for trolling, I don't think I've ever been "trolled" but, it sounds like it could be something bothersome, annoying or even scale up to bullying. I LOVE to joke around (every one at my office knows that I'm always making jokes or pulling pranks), but I never make them at the cost of someone else - and I would never do so on the internet.

As for profanities, the f-word doesn't phase me. However, I don't like to use it, or that many curse words at all, because I can usually find a more descriptive word. I wouldn't be offended if I read a post covered in f-bombs, but I know that I would enjoy a post a lot more if each one was replaced by an accurate descriptive word.

Like I said, I don't use the internet as extensively as most do - so I'm sure I'm a little naive on the subject. But, this type of attitude has opened a lot of doors to me, online and off! Hopefully it can help you.

 

[Kurayami Tenshi]

I agree with you guys both ^___^ where I fall into problems tends to be humour, things that people find funny here, cause offence in other places/people. But, how do you know whether your jokes will be funny or offensive before you say them? How do you figure that out?

It could just be that people in my area have particularly thick skins, or the people I'm talking to are incredibly easily offended, because it certainly isnt my intention to cause harm, yet if I say one thing to my local friends and the same to friends online the online friends will "overreact" to it and I am wondering do others encounter this problem, how do they deal with it?

How do you know if making a joke about someone being a farmer (as in people here) will be funny, or offensive (probably somewhere else where people take farming incredibly seriously)


I love your suggestions though, especially the one about being NICER online than in person because you don't understand the other persons circumstances, I hadn't thought of it that way before, although I always try to be polite!

Well... I mean, that depends on a lot of things, kind of. If you have a feeling that the joke might offend somebody, then it's probably best not to make, to avoid the drama. There's no true way to figure out if it's appropriate to make a certain joke and to be honest, different people are offended by different things, and I suppose it depends on you. If you feel that the joke doesn't sound that bad to you, then go for it. But if you have to question it, don't do it. :)

 

[Kurayami Tenshi]

Haha True xD

 

[Diana]

We have a special cbox etiquette guide, and I believe it works for the internet as a whole too! O_O [faq=88][/faq]

My big thing is that you shouldn't forget that people on the internet are real people. >> If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it online either.

 

[Kurayami Tenshi]

We have a special cbox etiquette guide, and I believe it works for the internet as a whole too! O_O [faq=88][/faq]

My big thing is that you shouldn't forget that people on the internet are real people. >> If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it online either.

Exactly :3

 

[Minibit]

It all falls under two rules for me

Pay attention
If someone's getting pissed, notice before they unload on you, ask what you're doing wrong respectfully, and follow through; pay attention to what you're saying and ask yourself if you have a negative tone that could be taken wrong

Choose your battles
Don't be a nitpicker and don't look for fights. Dont complain or correct every time you post, you should have a three to one sincere compliment to complaint ratio. Also if you're not going to change someone's mind, if it doesn't affect the story or writing, and if you could ignore it if you wanted to, don't comment on it.

 

[Kooriryu]

Do fuckshit things, get called a fuckshit.

 

[Nightstealer]

If your potential actions cause you to doubt the positive reactions of others just dont do it. it's as simple as that. When in doubt, don't.

 

[Kooriryu]

Internet and real life got that real twisted up Doctor Who timey wimey big ball of yarn-type bullshit going on.

Don't nobody wanna say some things in particular while they're out and about in "the real world" because they know for a fact that those words are fucked up and wrong but come Internet all that shit is flying across every which way from chats to message boards. But when that shit causes a shitstorm suddenly "omg u gaiz it wuz jus a joke!", "I didn't mean it like that!", "Can't you have a sense of humor?"

Fuck that type of derailing-ass fuckery, accountability dodging asking you to smile when they tryna serve you shit on a cake. Those motherfuckers can and should find the meatiest dick and ride that shit into hell, saying some tired old status quo-upholding "lookit me being edgy and transgressive but actually reinforcing everything I think I'm satirizing because I'm a piece of shit Jon Snow, knows nothing!"

Nothing with an -ism has an expiration date. You can't have an expiration date on shit you still have asswounds stumbling around crying about how the way to "end" it is to "stop talking about it". Because that shit requires looking at the fuckin' world and recognizing and acknowledging every all which ways to Sunday that things are fucked up. "It's always been this way" my fat ass.

People know very gotdamn well what things are "bad" and "offensive" but they feel pretty gotdamn free in saying it as long as they're quick enough to tack on "it's a joke!" and some side-smiling phantom cohort signs off on being their "Get Out Of [ whatever they're being accused of ] Jail Free" card.

If folk can understand someone saying some shit like "Oh nooo, sorry I can't go to Whatshisface's party... I... I have to babysit my nephew." or "lol sry bro im going somewhere later bbl" as legit examples both online and in real life ways of avoiding something then whatever fuckin' pallid excuse of "how can I know???" ain't shit.

So I'mma reiterate: Do fuckshit things, get called fuckshit.

 

[Nightstealer]

It's called common sense. You know ambiguous meanings? Then make sure you POINT OUT what one you're using. Don't leave room for error and you'll have no problems. You're complaining about people getting annoyed because they take everything you say the wrong way and you don't know why, but you're worried about offending people, so instead of flirting with the line, stay well away from it.

 

[Diana]

It doesn't really matter what you say and do, you're going to offend SOMEONE at SOME point. All you can really do is use common sense with social etiquette. When you're cracking jokes with friends, totally okay to go with risky stuff cause you KNOW them and you know what you can say without someone getting offended.

When you're in public, you tone back everything that you know is socially unacceptable, or might be too out there. You wouldn't walk up to a bunch of strangers cracking jokes about dead holocaust babies and killing cats. That's stupid. They're strangers. Why would you do that. O_O Even thought it's a joke, you don't take liberties with strangers!

Just like you dun go out in public screaming curse words and having sex on picnic tables. That's all common sense public behavior. >>

I believe that is what Koori is getting at. We all have a really good idea what is common sense to say in public around strangers.

 

[Fijoli]

Its a Live and let live situation, the circumstances under which we communicate still applies to this philosophy.

I can see everyones opinons will differ, not to mention the way each of us expresses ourselves. we should all just keep an open and grateful mind, and attempt to never take 'anything' personally.

Sometimes it is good to talk about these codes of conduct. Clears some air. ^_^

I also appreciate everyones Ideas. Thank you for sharing them with me.

 

[Nightstealer]

Think of it this way. if you know something has another meaning, or may confuse people, then use the simple synonym. It all comes back down to that 'skirting not flirting with the line' The best way to avoid trouble is to steer well away from anything controversal. basically, if you don't want to offend someone, just don't speak. it sounds harsh, but it's pretty much the basic principle. either that or just don't give a shit if you offend someone?

 

[Kooriryu]

Even more on that etiquette groove, don't ever try out that fake apology shit on people. Ain't no one buying it. via http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2012/10/no-apology-is-better-than-a-fake-one/

No Apology Is Better Than A Fake One

OCT. 17, 2012
By CHELSEA FAGAN

Here's what happened: You did something bad, or wrong, or mean-spirited, and it hurt someone's feelings or negatively affected them in some way. Now has come the time, in most civilized, compassionate societies, to say you're sorry. I know, it sucks! I'm the most pretentious/proud/stubborn human being on the planet — no one hates apologizing more than I do. It goes against my very principle of being infallible 100 percent of the time. But sometimes, we just have to do it. And there are certain words that are kind of like taking a giant handful of sea salt and rubbing it in the metaphorical wound left by your wrongdoing, few more so than a fake, disingenuous apology. Here are a few examples of said fauxpologies:

• I'm sorry, but you were wrong, too.
• I'm sorry your feelings are hurt.
• I'm sorry you feel that way.
• If you want me to say I'm sorry, I will.
• If it makes you feel better, I'll say I'm sorry.
• I'm sorry we disagree.
• I'm sorry you can't take a joke.
• I'm sorry you are so angry right now.

Seriously, what the hell are those? What is the point of vomiting a false apology all over someone if the sentiment you're actually conveying is one more along the lines of "I hate you, I hate the fact that I have to admit I was wrong, and so I'm going to grit my teeth every step of the way of this bullshit"? It's not as though anyone is going to be magically satisfied by a response that means absolutely zero in terms of taking responsibility or learning something.

"Oh, he's sorry that I feel that way?? He thinks that he did nothing wrong, but hedoes think I'm essentially a 5'6 toddler who gets overly emotional for ridiculous slights and needs to be coddled with the conversational equivalent of a pacificer covered with spikes? I feel so much better now!"

- No one, ever

It's not that a fake apology is just unsatisfying; it's insulting. It's saying that not only are you not going to dignify the person you wronged with an actual admission of culpability or remorse, it's that you're also presenting them with a facsimile of said admission that they now have to respond to as though it were real. You're putting the ball back in their court with no actual improvement on your side. Now what are they supposed to do? They're pretty much forced now to take the asshole reigns back and call you out: "Nope, that apology was bullshit, and I'm not going to accept that." Who wants to have to say that? Why are you making other people say that?

Unfortunately, society has not fully caught up with the whole "fake apologies being an insult to our collective intelligence" thing quite yet, so we still tend to accept them — even from people we should demand better from. Think of how many politicians we allow to get by with a slippery worm of an "I'm sorry." We know that they're being facetious jerks, and we aren't fooled by their warlock coven of a PR team, but we accept it. We should be better than this in our daily lives. We should demand of ourselves and of others to say something we truly mean. Because if you're actually not sorry, and aren't planning on changing, and didn't learn anything — you could, at the very least, say as much. You owe the person you upset the decency of being honest with them, if nothing else. Just grow a fraction of a spine and say, "Nope, you're an emotional peasant and I'm not gracing you with my remorse. Enjoy crying into your Snuggie," or something of the like.

It might not be as socially palatable, but at least it's real. No one is fooled by your fauxpology — no one. You might not get called out on it, but you know what it is. You know exactly what you're doing when you weasel your way out of actually having to take some responsibility. No one likes having to admit they're wrong, but if you're going to skip that crucial part of the process, at least own up to it. Because what you're really saying when you say "I'm sorry you feel that way" is "I'm a giant, passive-agressive asshat, and I want everyone within earshot to know it." And trust me, we know it.

Shit, even Cracked weighed in on it and whole entire lighthouse.

 

[Lady Sabine]

Number one rule of appearing less bitchy on the internet: use smilies and a casual tone.

Miss, your grasp of the English language is inadequate for what I expect of my partners. Good day.
Ooh... sorry dude, but I just don't think this is gonna work out between us right now. :c Good luck finding another partner! ^^

Which one sounds like a stuck-up cunt?

As far as word choice and choice of jokes go, feel people out first. I have a bunch of friends that like dead baby jokes, but you don't just walk up and launch into one. Set the mood, make sure everyone is on board, and PAUSE TO LISTEN after your first attempt. Unless feedback is 100% positive, don't continue. Most people are pretty forgiving about a one-time slip (it looks bitchier than to complain than to stay shut up) but the asshat that doesn't hear the crickets and keeps up his comedy routine is going to get tomato'd.
Awareness of the situation and the people in it will let you continue to act like yourself and keep you out of a lot of trouble.

And a last piece of advice, one my mother gave me that has saved me a hundred times:
Never attribute to malice what can be easily explained by stupidity.
In other words, if someone is being an asshat or did something bad... assume they don't know any better, not that they're purposefully fucking you. Everyone on the internet is a twelve-year-old with no knowledge of social acceptability until proven otherwise.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

I feel that everyone has their own opinion on how someone else should act, but what it really boils down to is how you react rather than how they act.

Yes, that man on that comment is a dick; his opinion is a reflection on them, not you. While I will say that treat your neighbor better than you'd treat yourself, don't forget that your neighbor might be on a different level of maturity and feeding into their antics just makes things worse.

I abide by this code every time I log onto the internet:

-Don't give an opinion unless you can do it kindly
-Look before you leap
-It is better to beg forgiveness than permission
-Always delete your browser history

 

[Lady Sabine]

-Always delete your browser history

Incognito browsing, my friend. Incognito browsing. ;D Ounce of prevention, pound of cure and all...

 

[CaptainObvious]

Did I ever tell you guys how much I love you :'D and your humour! Incognito FTW xD