Insanity...

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SatanicBamnana

SatanicBamnana

Formerly 'BX' and 'BladeX'
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So... I'm not even sure where to begin.

About 48 hours ago I broke up with a friend who I've known for a year from another site. This person was pretty much the worst for me. And I guess technically I could have just shut them out a year ago, but I didn't because I am either foolishly loyal, or loyally foolish. Either way, she was happy when she got her way. All the time. If she didn't get her way, she became this pouty, mean, verbally abusive person. She was also incredibly manipulative. Everything I did, she mimicked, and she talked bad about me behind my back to mutual friends, etc.

I thought that maybe she was depressed, because she tended to spiral out of control quire often, one night it got really bad so me and a mutual friend contacted her mother and she finally got help. But after that it almost seemed like she wasn't any better. She was happier, but she still lashed out, and any time I was upset she would expect me to get over it, while when she got upset she'd raise a billion shades of hell.

Anyways, We fought, I said what I have wanted to say for the last year, we blocked one another and that was that.

At first I was angry and sad, now I am relieved and hopeful but I needed a place to vent.

So I went to this cute little site and made a post where, in not a lot of detail, I said it'd been a hard year, finally got away from a toxic friendship, hoping to make new ones.

Then the thread got closed because, according to staff members on said site, it's against the rules to talk about your life.

So, to add insult to injury, I lost a place where I was hoping to make friends because talking about life is not allowed. The place lacks a sense of community and it's lost all the things I liked about it at the start.

So anyways, now I am here ranting and raving because at least it's allowed. But It'll be my luck after a crappy 2 years that I'd end up going wrong somewhere in here as well. xD

Gotten to a point where bad things are funny rather than sad.
 
Man, breaking up with toxic friends is really hard. I've definitely had my fair share of friendship "break-ups" and I'm really sorry to hear about that other site that got you in trouble. i hope you can get more comfortable around Iwaku, though! I've definitely made some great friends here. The community can really be awesome if you let it! :D Have you considered trying to post a few threads in general chat? Or reply to someone else's? I've met a lot of sweet people just chatting through that forum alone!
 
It wasn't all that hard for me because it's been a long time coming for me and her. It was something I knew was going to happen, but I tend to stand by the idea that a friend is a friend until something unforgivable happens. And I tend to forgive things most wouldn't so I guess I really was just waiting for her to get tired of the endless cycle we were always in.
I am actually really timid when it comes to general chat, which is why the site thing got to me so much. I finally break out of my shell and go out there, and then have someone say that's not okay. It's why I tend to be more of a lurker. I could probably try and get into general chat, but right now I guess I want to get my head on straight. And I know sometimes ranting on places where it's allowed bring fresh perspective and ways to think that I wouldn't have thought of myself so... But, I will hop skip and jump right on to the general chat lilly pad and hopefully I will get to where I am comfortable on here and other places.
 
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Like Nav said, getting away from toxic people can be hard. The problem with abusers is, they're unlikely to "get tired" of the cycle, because they're the ones perpetuating it, to their own benefit. Still, I'm glad you were finally able to cut things off with her. I hope this leads to a much happier future for you.

And there are lots of nice and supportive people here on Iwaku. I myself found a lot of support here when I got away from an abusive friendship -- hopefully you'll find support like that, too. And if you want a less-public place to talk about stuff, my inbox is open.
 
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