I don't know... I'm just upset...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Alexa Ray, Nov 10, 2014.

  1. I can't help the way I am at this point in my life. I'm a really sensitive gal- even to things online. I am so emotional I can't help it, and I'm crying right now as I write this. After I received quite a few... unnecessary feedbacks (we'll leave it at that)... I can't help but wonder if I'm too much for others online, if I'm really so "unkind" by just asking a few questions here and there to get more information on something in particular, then leaving at that because it's not what I'm inclined to throw myself into. I've had this conversation with my mom and step-dad SO MANY TIMES and I know that those people are nothing online. I know, I know, I know. But I still can't help but be so emotional and feel pained by what they do because they can... It doesn't make me feel wanted at all...

    It makes me immediately thinking about leaving because of one person doing so many things I'm positive by the holy light of God it's wrong. When I think about the situation and what happened, it makes me think that a website is too stressful on me, that it's too much to deal with between online and real life. I just can't help it...

    I'm such a fricking crybaby... and I cry about that too, wanting to handle things differently, but unable to express that...
     
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  2. XS Don't worry, I can relate >.< I guess it's all about perspective here for the most part; it's hard to communicate things right through text alone at times which means if you try and say one thing others may percieve it as something else... In the end, sometimes it can lead to alot of stress especially when real life piles on too so try not to beat yourself up over it, sometimes a solution requires time to figur eout for that sort of thing. As for the crying thing; it's ok to cry... Actually it's healthy to cry o.o it's often emotionally beneficial just as long as you don't feel too bad about it. In the end what I'm trying to say is; shit happens, and sometimes it takes a bit of time to work through it, but in the end, it's your own choice what you choose to do about these things XS just my opinion, nothing more o-o
     
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  3. It's okay! Don't let anything someone says bother you! Maybe they didn't understand your questions? Or maybe the way you worded it seemed to give them a different meaning than you intended to give. Please don't be upset, darling~!
     
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  4. The great thing about stuff being online, especially on forums... Is that things often can wait. If you feel you're really sensitive, Pink... And something is really starting to upset you, take a few steps back from the situation and take a moment to unwind. Let yourself come back with a clearer head to evaluate the situation. Maybe you'll see something you didn't before.

    I know when I start getting emotional, I don't always see how I might be upsetting to other people. Usually, I don't really realize it until I'm reading back long after the fact and I'm in a calmer state. Then that's when I start to realize how I could have responded differently.

    I don't know, if you perhaps feel that people are responding unwell to you, then perhaps you need to evaluate your own behavior to a degree. I don't know you well.

    But I know you shouldn't feel upset about crying. It happens. Chipper up, lit'l lady. It'll be alright. This is just the best advise I can give you at this time from what I know of you and the situation at hand, @PinkArrow , but admittedly, it's not much. Sorry.
     
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  5. So, I'm kind of a jerk. I often feel inclined to call people out when I feel they're doing something wrong, and admittedly I'm not always very nice about it. I wouldn't see myself as malevolent... Unless I'm GM'ing, but maybe I can give some perspective from the darkother side. When I call someone out, that doesn't mean I think this person is irredeemably evil or stupid. Rather, I try to point out a certain action. Don't think that if someone doesn't like one thing you do, they automatically hate your entirety of a person. That's simply not true. To name a few examples;
    • I think Diana somewhere gave some bad advice so I PM'd her about it giving my two cents. However, I've also praised (her work on) the site multiple times, because I think she is doing a really good job overall. I mean, Iwaku is now the only RP site I frequent, so that has to say something.
    • Grumpy made a decision as a mod I got rather angry about, but then a week or so later I can't help but laugh at some post he makes about drinking with videogame reviewers.
    • I PM'd Minibit some harsh feedback on one particular of her guides. However, at the same time it would be hard for me, or really anyone, to deny that she has submitted a great quantity of useful articles. Probably more than any other user on the site.
    • Brovo, who is a bit newer to Iwaku but I'm sure has made enough of an appearance to be recognisable, and I first met by constantly clashing in debate argument. However, as time passed we actually became friends and now are not just playing in each other's RP's, but also are in the process of writing a guide together.

    I think this 'moment's notice' part is true not just for me, but for many others as well. Even if someone gets angry at some point, that doesn't mean they hate you as a person. It also doesn't mean people can't change their opinion over time, or that they're blinded by that one single moment. It's probably not easy, but taking a step back and putting that in perspective does help. You might be taking a lot more offence than is meant, or it might be solved with just a little patience and communication. Of course that doesn't mean there aren't any genuine assholes on the interwebz, because jesus christ on a pogo stick there are. But yeah. This less than elegant feedback is usually based on a moment, not on a person as a whole. We're just too emotionally stunted to convey our feelings to you properly
     
    #5 Kestrel, Nov 12, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2014
  6. I think that no matter what you're upset about (whether it's something online or in real life), the bottom line is that you're upset. If you're upset, you're upset, and your feelings are valid and real - even if they were triggered by something online. Taking in information, regardless of where you got it, and processing that information emotionally doesn't necessarily make you pathetic or wimpy. If the internet didn't excite people in some kind of way, nobody would even go on it. It would be boring. Of course you're going to react to things you see on the internet and elsewhere...it's natural!

    Lord knows I've gotten into more babyish internet bicker-battles than I can count, and I wouldn't call myself a very sensitive person on the whole. Getting worked up over stuff online makes me look like a moron, but my feelings are real. The way you feel about things you read online are just as real, and real feelings are important feelings. They're still valid, so don't put yourself down.

    You shouldn't be blaming yourself for being sad or hurt. If I step on your toes and you say ouch, I'm going to apologize. I'm not going to say, "Well, if you didn't have so many nerve endings in your toes, then it wouldn't hurt so much!" It's not your fault that there are nerve endings in your toes. Likewise, it's not your fault that your feelings can get hurt, even if they get hurt a lot. Nobody's ashamed of stubbing their toe, so don't be ashamed of getting your feelings hurt. Like you said, you can't help being emotional. It's okay to be sad.

    Keep your chin up. Just because something makes you feel bad doesn't mean it makes you bad. You contribute something good to this world, and you're allowed to be you.
     
  7. Sweetie, I'd suggest a therapist.

    You're not crazy, but you do admit you have a problem with your sensitivity, and trouble dealing with negativity. I'm betting this sort of helpless depression also follows stress, frustration, and disappointment in your life, and personal therapists are equipped to help you find more positive ways of dealing and getting over these things. Check out your options, and tell your parents, I'm sure they'll support you in an endeavour to conquer your troubles and like yourself more.