How George Washington Saved the World

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This is a Civilization Fanfic based on an actual Civ V playthrough. It's...about how George Washington saved the world.

Please leave constructive criticism, praise, and other comments when you are done reading.

It's a modded game, with the following mods:
-Lancers-to-Cavalry
-Unique Unit from Conquest
-Various Civilization mods (America is the only Standard Civ in this game. I won't spoil the other civs).


Orange Text is George Washington's Journal


(Turn 1)
Every day, the same dream. A voice tells me about the glories of the American people, and asks me "Can you build a civilization that will stand the test of time?". I am not sure that I can. However, I will try, with every last ounce of my strength, to secure the prosperity of my tribe. The Shamans tell me I am having visions. I'm not so sure. People have long insisted that I was some sort of prophet. No, I am just a chieftain.
Regardless, I've sent out warriors to try and map the land. I'll be training a dedicated scouting team shortly.


(Turn 6)
James was a warrior. He was tall, a bit muscular, had dark brown hair, and a round head, with blue eyes.
He wore brown furs, and a leather cape with the stars and stripes-the sign of his tribe-painted onto it. He carried an iron wood club, shaped like this.
Him and his team were marching along, passing between two forests, when lo, they saw an army marching towards them.
The army they beheld wore dark colored furs, and wore cowskulls on their heads. They held large, studded wooden clubs.
One carried with him, a large flag, with jolly roger drawn on it.

The one holding the flag stepped forewards. He had long black hair, tied into dreadlocks. He had mustache in fu-manchu style. His skin was a deathly pale color. One eye of his was hazel, the other green. A man who stood at 7 feet tall. He was a terrifying sight to behold.
James asked "Who are you?"

The one holding the flag asked "What, do you want me to sing you the song of our people?"

James said "No, your name will suffice."

The man was a little confused. He then busted out laughing and said "You hadn't heard of me!? Remember this name, then: Dryto. I suggest you don't use it in vain." He then pointed to his army.
"And this band here, we are the Barbarians! Now-I suggest you drop your weapons and hand over anything you're carrying to me."

James shook his head. "That's not going to happen."

At his word, the Brutes charged towards James's army. The American fought valiantly, killing many a savage. However, out of the other forest from behind them came another army of barbarians.
There were too many of them. James was the only survivor.

Fun Fact: The Barbarian Hordes have a themesong. It's a rap that goes like this:

Yo. We're barbarians.
Here to get in your hair again.
Annoying civs is what we do,
we'll fight until you're black and blue.
We attack people, just for fun.
We leave no man standing, when we're done!
We'll harrass all of those city-states,
so hope you're ready to defend your mates.
We don't build cities-we just live in caves.
We'll turn your workers into slaves.
We can't be reasoned with, no how, no way.
We'll attack you no matter what you say!
We prefer our strength to our wits.
So don't even try that diplomacy shnitz.
Civilization, just too mainstream!
So we're here to destroy your dreams.


My scouts inform me of a most curious discovery. They have discovered a tribe of machine men, led by a Chieftian called Dr. Eggman. This Eggman sounds resourceful. We'll keep an eye on him, to see what becomes of his Metal Tribe.

On the plus side, my warrior team has been rebuilt and sent out on another job. They found, in ruins, a bunch of bronze weapons and armor. They will be much stronger now.

Also, my people have constructed a large monument of stone in the center of our tribe. They call it the "Washington Monument". They say it will let passers by recognize our tribe.


My scouts saved a woman trapped in ruins. A tribal shaman from a tribe overrun by barbarians.
She had never heard of the American Tribe. However, she did seem to know an awful lot about me. She claimed to have prophetic visions of a man named Washington, the man who stands between Earth and Heaven. Supposedly, I am the messenger of the gods.


I'll never hear the end of this, will I?

Our people have discovered 2 more Tribes.
One is known as Toad Town. It's a tribe of Mushroom People, lead by a Princess Peach.
The other is Santa's Workshop. It's a tribe of Craftsman Elves, lead by St. Nicholas.


There's also been rumors of a Columbian Tribe, though they haven't been confirmed yet.
The Columbians, see, were a group of exiles from our tribe. If they've managed to survive and form their own tribe, then I fear we may experience retribution.


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James and his spearmen marched down to a southern region of the continent.
Recently, the Barbarian have attacked Washington. Luckily, Washington's team of Archers (known as the Secret Service) were able to put them down.
Chief Washington had decided that this was as good as any time to lay down the hurt on Dryto.
James was followed by Robin, a huntress who'd be helping him.


James beheld the Barbarian Encampment. There were creepy occult markings on the tents. There were no women or children. There were the remains of a man being cooked over a fire.


Robin said "Are we ready, Pheonix?"
James asked "Pheonix?"
Robin laughed. "That's what they all call you, you know. Pheonix. Rose back from the ashes of a Barbarian assault."
James said "Well, I don't think I'll be able to do that twice. Still, I think we're ready now. Get into position."


The Barbarians seemed prepared enough for the attack. Not that James hadn't made much of an attempt to sneak in. The spearmen shouted "MURICA!!!" as they charged.


James jumped over the fence they had created, and then (while in midair) stabbed a Brute right in the head. His skull-helmet broke, and the brute died.
Then, another brute ran towards James, only to run into his spear. James then smashed his bronze shield right into the brute's head, cracking it wide open.


The Barbarians tried their old technique from before: A second team of barbarians came in to try and ambush them. However, the second team fell right into the American's trap.
As they ran by, Robin's archers fired their arrows at them, killing some, and suppressing others. They realized, however, how futile an attack would be under these circumstances, and decided to run away.


The Rumors have been confirmed. Columbia is still alive and well. Luckily, they've shown us no signs of ill-will yet.
The Peach has offered to create a declaration of friendship between America and the Mushroom Kingdom. We've happily accepted. She's a very nice lady.


A terrifying discovery has been made of a land called "Aperture Science". It's a metal kingdom led by a siren queen named Glados, who threatens all who come near her. We'll keep an eye on her.

In very happy news, I can say that America is no longer a mere tribe, but a mighty republic.
We've founded a new city, known as New York. The Shamans suggested the title, and my gut tells me it's a good name. I don't know what happened to the Old York.

Glados, it turns out, is a machine. As the name of her kingdom implies, she is obsessed with science. She's built a very advanced army. Or, as she calls it: "An Aperture Science Pest Removal Team".
Her expirements tend to be very cruel, and she's very hostile towards everyone. She's denounced the following: Eggman, Aperture Science, the United States, and Santa Clause.
We've officially condemned Aperture as a rogue state.


In other news, We've discovered a new land known as Rapture. Who's also been denounced by Glados.

Our Spearmen encountered another group of barbarians. Barbarian spearmen, in fact. (They seem to be getting better equipped each day)
Our spearmen managed to defeat them, when we noticed that they were travelling with civilians. They came from a land called Hyrule, just west of the Mushroom Kingdom. It seems that Barbarians are involved in Slave Trafficking. Presumably, they sell them to Comstock.

Dr. Eggman has officially denounced us, as well as Rapture.
We've returned the favor.


In other news, a new religion was founded in my lands. My shamans have all converted to a faith they call Protestantism. It's now easily the most popular belief in my lands.

I think I'll sit through a sermon.

George Washington had been given an invite to Santa's Workshop.
He arrived on the back of a horse, through the frigid air.
A few elves arrived, and helped him off his horse. They escorted Washington to a palace.
Fire pits kept the throne room lit.
Washington bent a knee, and said "Your Majesty, Saint Nicholas?".

Santa sat on the throne, and then broke out into a belly laugh.
"Ho ho ho! Someone, get this man a cup of hot cocoa. I like him."

Washington retained his normal posture, and then received the hot beverage (being sure to thank the elf who handed it to him).

Washington said "I'm quite impressed with this place you've set up. How may the President serve you, Lord Claus?"

Santa said "The queen known as Glados has ended up on my naughty list, I'm afraid. Do you know what happens when you end up high enough on the naughty list?"

Washington raises an eyebrow "If I recall, I do believe that you are delivered coal."

Santa laughed again "Ho-Ho-Ho. You get delivered an ass-wooping. Would you like to be Santa's Helper?"

Washington smiled and then said "That sounds like a fair deal."
 
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