How Does One Not Rely Heavily On Emotion?

[Violette1]

Seriously. How do you not rely heavily on emotion? I mean, is this simply just a teenage phase that I'm going through? That disgusting teenage thing called "puberty" as we know it?

I get frustrated at small things, stuff that's obviously right to me but completely different in another person's eyes, I blame people without sensible rationale because I'm selfish, I let my emotions take over stuff that involves me. Is this because I'm such an introverted individual? Because I don't know how to express my opinions/thoughts without bursting my bubble.

How do you not rely heavily on emotion? I'm tired of doing this, I'm tired of being this way and I want to reach out, to make people understand my point of view instead of them turning me off because I end up chucking out unknown retorts, unintentional hostility, so on and so forth.

Give me a sign. Any sign.

 

[Violette1]

Oh god. You know what? Nevermind. Don't worry about this. Reaching out is just making me even more insecure and frustrated with myself.

 

[moffnat]

You should show this to your counselor, honey.

 

[Peter Feels]

Read an article once that said teenagers actually do feel emotions more than most. Has to do with your hormones and whatnot.

As for getting rid of emotions? I hear that a lot from people your age, and admittedly, even I once entertained the idea. As I got older I realized that manage your emotions is the key to happiness, not avoiding them. It sounds easier than it is but then so are lots of things, I suppose.

 

[moffnat]

^^ All of that.

I struggle with BPD, a mental illness where I feel emotions deeper than most (in a nutshell), and I second everything The Butterfly said. Management is key. Know when your buttons are being pushed and know when to walk away, map out your reactions and make sure you find time to de-stress. Surround yourself with patient people who care.

 

[Kagayours]

There is a difference between wanting to eradicate one's emotions completely and just wanting to not get worked up about the small stuff. And, there's plenty you can do to help you manage your emotions and not get so upset/stressed about things you can't help.

Generally my rule of thumb regarding whether or not to worry about something is this: Is it something that's within my power to change?

If it's something that I can do something about, then it's worth my mental energy and emotion. If it's not, then... what's the point in worrying? As difficult as it may be sometimes, I use this as a sort of guide to figure out when to let myself worry and when to sort of block things out. That way, you don't have to try to block out all emotion (because that's just impossible, and probably unhealthy), but you don't have to let yourself get stressed about every little thing, either.

I feel like that was sort of off-topic and didn't quite address your issue, but, it was worth posting, I think. Hope that advice helps.

 

[Violette1]

This must be my depression and having no friends in real life... I swear to God it is.

 

[Space Cowboy]

Absolutely, 100% a hormone thing.

You got this, honey. Don't keep things bottled up. Share, and try not to be overly sensetive to anything people tell you, especially if they're trying to help.

Goodluck!

 

[Violette1]

@Seiji How do I not be overly sensitive to things people tell me? I mean... Do I just ignore it? Do I just say "okay" and move on?

 

[Space Cowboy]

@Seiji How do I not be overly sensitive to things people tell me? I mean... Do I just ignore it? Do I just say "okay" and move on?

Honestly? Don't think about it. If it's immediately applicable, or immediately helpful, then use it. But after that, don't think too hard on what they said or try to analyze it anymore.

 

[moffnat]

Depression is RARELY diagnosed in teens because of their emotional instability. It's all a part of growing up unfortunately. :/ But make sure to bring all of this to the attention of your counselor, they'll give you much more credible assistance than strangers on the internet.

 

[Violette1]

I just want my anti depressants now.

 

[Kagayours]

Honestly? Don't think about it. If it's immediately applicable, or immediately helpful, then use it. But after that, don't think too hard on what they said or try to analyze it anymore.

Agreed.

Often times, thinking about things makes them so much worse. If you find one thing you dislike about yourself and try to analyze why you are that way, you'll wind up finding a whole web of negative qualities and just beat yourself up all night. I've been there. :/

So really, just try not to think about things too hard sometimes. Especially if it's something you can't do much about. Yeah, it can be difficult not to think about things that are bothering you, but, just try to keep that in the back of your mind and see if you can't distract yourself. Just remember that things aren't perfect and you aren't perfect, but that doesn't make you a horrible person, so don't spend too much time picking out your own flaws. Such harsh self-criticism won't help you any.

 

[moffnat]

Anti-depressants take about 2 months to get to their full effect. They aren't the answer--they help, but they shouldn't be your anchor. Be strong in yourself first and foremost. You'll get there, I know you will.

 

[Violette1]

I know feeling this way about myself won't help. I'm probably overreacting. I know anti depressants shouldn't be used as an anchor, and I don't plan to use them like that because I'm not that kind of person in any way. I just haven't got any yet as asked by my counselor thus why everything still feels overwhelming no matter what it is. I'm just impatient because I want to feel better about myself as soon as possible.

 

[moffnat]

It starts with you. A counselor can talk at you, a doctor can prescribe whatever medicine you need, but it all begins with your conscious decision to realize that you're worth it. Because you are. You're not mentally ill, a gracious blessing, and you're clearly a passionate person driven by creativity and the desire to find your place in the world--what's not to like about that? Everyone has their kinks. Growing up is about recognizing and dealing with yours in positive ways to become a better person. You can do it. <3

 

[Violette1]

It starts with you. A counselor can talk at you, a doctor can prescribe whatever medicine you need, but it all begins with your conscious decision to realize that you're worth it. Because you are. You're not mentally ill, a gracious blessing, and you're clearly a passionate person driven by creativity and the desire to find your place in the world--what's not to like about that? Everyone has their kinks. Growing up is about recognizing and dealing with yours in positive ways to become a better person. You can do it. <3

I really wish I could go to you and hug as tight as I could. I really do...

 

[moffnat]

Internet hug me! I'm always here for you. <3

 

[Kagayours]

I know feeling this way about myself won't help. I'm probably overreacting. I know anti depressants shouldn't be used as an anchor, and I don't plan to use them like that because I'm not that kind of person in any way. I just haven't got any yet as asked by my counselor thus why everything still feels overwhelming no matter what it is. I'm just impatient because I want to feel better about myself as soon as possible.

Listen, I may not have depression, but if my experiences with ADD and the medication I take for that are in any way relatable, I will say one very important thing: drugs can be very helpful, yes, but they won't do everything for you. You need to meet them halfway and do your part to get the result you want from them.

Not being able to focus on anything to get my schoolwork done -- yeah, that was stressful. When I thought there might be something wrong with me, I saw a psychiatrist and got a diagnosis, but it would still take a little while before I'd get to try any medication. And I was impatient, too. I wanted to be focused and manage to get things done sooner rather than later, so you know what I did? I tried taking as many steps as I could to fix the problem in the meantime without the medication. I had to think about what small things kept me more focused and work with those while I waited for something more helpful to come along. And you know what? Even when I did get medication, I found that the drugs were a lot more effective when I really put in the effort to get as much as I could out of them, rather than expecting that they'd fix all my problems.

What I'm trying to say is -- there are things you can do now to help yourself. It's hard, I'm sure, but do what you can while you wait. You want to feel better as soon as possible? Then start taking those first steps now. Even if they just bring small improvements, it's at least a start, and I bet it'll help the meds do their job even better, assuming you get them. At the very least, it'll probably help to try utilizing some of the techniques mentioned here (and of course advice from professionals on this) to help manage your negative emotions so that the damage isn't quite as bad. Being dealt a shitty hand and getting a brain that just can't do what it needs to do all the time -- it sucks, I know. But there are things you can do to make it better. At least a little bit better. And a little bit better is better than not at all. I trust that you've got it in you. Good luck.

 

[Violette1]

It's amazing how you can be happy throughout the day only to break down at night and feel good inside again because there's people who make you feel good about yourself...

If I ever come across these thoughts/emotions relevant to socializing again, I'm going to write it all down. Why do I feel the need to dump out my socializing problems now...?