How do you know?



Original poster


Oh that tender topic which makes hearts beat. I want serious answers, though! I want something heartfelt, whether it be actions you take or things that you tell someone...
Iwaku, how do you know when you're in love?
You'll have to tell me when you see me, darling.
Think of what your day would be like if your important someone wasn't there. If you can't answer that, or if the possibility is that alien, then you're in love. That's when I bought an engagement ring.
For me, it's when I can truthfully say that the person I love is the most beautiful person in the world. When I cannot imagine a life with anyone else. When I cannot fathom the idea of having my hand held by another. When I see a little spark growing into a roaring flame. When I dream of this person night and day.

... Yep. *adjusts her glasses and goes back to being cool*
I thought I use to know.
I use to know because I would feel AMAZING. THE BEST EVER around that person. I could not get them off my mind. I would write poetry, draw pictures. randomly dance and sing with them in my brain and heart and soul. I would feel butterflies, and get nervous around them. But then TOTALLY snuggly, and want to be holding onto them every chance I could get. I'd text them waaaayyyy too much, and say Good Morning and Good Night regularly with those texts. I did not feel self conscious with them, and everything would just be right. I also knew when I would fight a bit with them, because when everything is perfect, then I know it's not real. We'd have to have little arguements once in a while, and it would then be legit. xD So.. it'd just be great.
Unfortunately, I have loved more than once. Probably..oh snaps.. uhm. I'm going to say, I think if I'm right, I have Loved before five times. My heart has been broken into pieces each time. And just became numb again recently. So... I'm not sure if my Love is right for just anyone anymore.. x__x; I can only take so much of this heart abuse.
Yet, I do not regret any love. n.n they have all made me who I am today in some way or form.
Never really felt close to most people I've dated. They get boring after awhile. I don't like most people my age...So it's all good. *Goes back to being a cynic.*
The subject of love has always confused me. Or rather, romantic love has always confused me. I love lots of people. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the people that bring something meaningful to my day (even if they don't know it). Sometimes I even love complete strangers. But we are, I assume, speaking of romantic love. What is the difference between romantic love and just love? Does it have to be shared between only two people? Is romantic love defined by any specific terms? The problem, for some (like me), is that romantic love is not properly defined. What is love? (baby don't hurt me: sorry, I had to) What is romantic love?

I don't really have an answer. But from personal experience I can say this: there has to be a mental, emotional, and physical connection. You have a similar way of thinking, or ways of thinking that compliment each other well. You draw meaning from similar places and connect on issues that are important. And, of course, you are physically attracted and drawn to one-another. Often called chemistry, a word which I like. People say it's a feeling you get, and I won't disagree, but your mind is also doing a lot of quick work because it's making all the right connections. I don't think love is exclusive, but if two people have chemistry in all areas and are with each other for a long time it might evolve into something, something called love maybe?

My own experiences have been a bit odd, but my situation is a bit different from the norm so that's to be expected. I won't say much about the romantic love I've experienced, but I will say one weird thing that I have experienced. When I was in love with someone I knew they really wanted me to say I loved them, but I never could. Nothing really dramatic about it, just that it isn't my word. I love you is the phrase of someone else. It isn't mine. I also find it pops the bubble. There's this unspoken intimacy I find which happens in those situations and when you're forced to define it, this imaginary bubble breaks and just kills everything. Maybe that's why the definition of romantic love is so vague? Maybe it isn't defined because it shouldn't be defined? Who knows. Just don't ask me to say it *laughs*.
Like Hartke I have always had problems with romantic love. Because I love family, I love friends, I have so much love to give the world that I don't understand this concept of there being ONE TRUE LOVE that I am supposed to love the best for the rest of my life. What happens if that said one true love dies before meeting you? Or is really old? Or really young? Or halfway across the world? What if that person dies when you're old and you fall in love with someone else? So I've always had a view of having a lot of love for everyone. Perhaps I'll find out I'm polyamorous.

Right now I'm dating this guy who is so wonderful I am constantly in awe of the fact that he exists. Is that a sign?
I don't believe in ONE true love. >> I think every romantic love you have is very different. You can't really compare it because it will always feel different!

But to answer the question, I knew I was in LOVE when I could imagine the rest of my life with that person, and when I couldn't imagine my life -without- them. And not in the "fantasy life" way that I always do about stuff, but in the REAL life way. Down to all the little nitty gritty details like paying bills, shopping, kids, vacations, silly things.

Dating for me was always "serious" cause I was looking for a person I wanted to settle down with. .__.; There were only one or two relationships that I jumped in to frivolously. Probably wasn't the best way to go about dating, but it did make me "choose wisely" when dating dudes. XD
Glad to know I'm not alone. x.x;
This is what love has been to me, so far.

Love is when I care about a person enough that I think of calling them every day and miss them when they aren't there to talk to - when I don't need space from them like I do with almost everyone else. Love is when I accept the things about them that I don't like and shouldn't try to change and the wrongs they've done, and when I try to get over my own ego so I can be a better person for them. Love is when I can loosen up, when I can talk without fretting over what I say, when I can show someone who I really am.