ROLEPLAY DISCUSSION How Clingy/Distant are you?

[Manna Beast]

In the midst of me losing my damn mind for my work's busy season, I was talking to a friend of mine who also rp's as a hobby. We were shooting the wind when she asked me how clingy or distant am I with rp partners. And it got me thinking; honestly? I can be very distant when I am just getting to know someone. Which obviously makes it look like I am not interested or even open to conversation! Which I am actually open too, I just get overwhelmed with lots of communication when its new and stuff.

Though I am absolutely a person who detests a clingy person IRL or online. Typically I am happy to chat but if there is a sense of neediness or "Pay attention to only meeee." Bumps/asks for posts, or pings me excessively, I nope out very quickly. I understand excitement but if there is a creepy value to that clinginess, then I will cut the rp short. I love ppl being excited, but I don't enjoy being clung too like our rp is the only one that matters and I should only pay attention to it. I get 100% hyper focuses on some rps and put others in a slow chill vibe but not forgotten. Even getting poked once, will irritate me. I always tell people Real Life First, so if Im being poked even a little, it feels disrespectful. Sometimes I'm chilling out, sometimes I have a tired brain and sometimes i'm just slow. But I do not forget about the rps!

**Edit** I should add in, with people I am comfy around, I will encourage that conversation, fun and OOC chatter, if not friendship chatter! BUT I don't encourage just anyone in my DM's. If we do not have a relationship, then expect me to be blunt, verbal and clear about my boundaries.


All this got me thinking, how clingy or distant are you truly?

 

[Lyrikai]

As far as clinginess just in general towards friends go, I try not to cling but can get a little clingy towards them... mainly just if I'm bored as hell or feeling lonely LOL

As far as clinginess towards rp Partners? Oh god no. Once in a great while I used to sometimes poke for a post or ask a partner if they're still interested in the rp if it's been a while, but I have learned to be patient and I now actually honestly feel terrible asking for posts and would rather watch our rp die by the wayside than poking my partner cuz I don't wanna bug them LMAO
I don't tend to get jealous if they favor another rp over our own or another partner or if they throw the same character/s they're playing with me at another rp with someone else! Have at it, go crazy, I do not mind xD

And it does very very much make me uncomfortable if someone gets too clingy with me over our rps or... even just watching someone be overly clingy with someone else that isn't weirds me out a little... It's awkward to watch.

 

[Diana]

this is a fun question I now get to look at through the lens of knowing i am autistic as fuck!

Roleplaying is my special interest and thus it consumes every fiber of my being. I eats, sleeps, thinks, breathes and just exist inside whatever my active roleplays are at the time. I 100% get obsessed with the story we're writing and it is all I think about and want to do.

But I can only get that deeply invested when it's with partners I can personally connect with and make actual friendship relationships with. SAFE VIBES. It's my special favorite thing and I wanna share it with people who are genuinely interested in me and my very special thing.

That said I ALSO HAVE DEMAND AVOIDANCE if I am poked too much about posting, that demand avoidance kicks in and I'll not post, even if I was about to. I also DO NOT handle people being demanding of my personal time and being jealous and possessive of me. If you're fussing about me posting for others and not you, I am not gonna post for you.

SO WITH THAT IN MIND... I match the energy my partner gives me until I know they're a safe person I CAN be clingy too, while also having the self awareness to not be obnoxious, cause I know what behaviors scare ME and piss ME off so I don't do those things to my partners.

cause I am also dweeb and I rarely message people first >:[ it takes me a while to feel like I am allowed to

 

[Spammy]

I don't really have it in me any more to be super outgoing or chatty. Whatever you need to keep going to someone and expecting that they owe you a response, I don't have that any more.

 

[Fluffy]

I'm a distant person when it comes to roleplay stuff. I'm all for having OOC chats and being friendly, but I don't want clinginess. Stay in your personal bubble and I'll stay in mine while we discuss our stories. I don't like feeling suffocated and I don't like feeling pressured for posts. It will make me not post for our story if you get too clingy and demanding.

I'm the same in real life. I'll be less likely to hang out with someone if they're the clingy sort. I allow only a small number of people to be clingy with me because they're close to me and we have a vibe.

 

[Cipher Nine]

I try to match the vibe. I don't mind chatting and I'm pretty cool with discussing mutual interests (games, movies, etc). I always ask, though. Some people don't like to and that's fine. It's about respect and managing expectations, I guess. I'm pretty upfront with posting speed, etc. So I've had good luck with partners who've been on the same wavelength. Reply when you can, that sort of thing.

 

[RealFurSwapChara]

digital connections mean a lot, and sometimes, I miss people tons when I get disconnected. though, I also can be as distant as starclusters from one another with most, since I've been through ppl not wanting to be with me.

 

[Queen Tink]

I'll be honest, I can totally be both.

But usually, I only get like... clingy if they're someone I'm close to/ I know it's like safe to be that way around them. If not, then no. Honestly, I'm pretty laid back about most things, and I genuinely don't care how long it takes to get a rp reply as long as I know I'm getting one. That's all I care about, even though I do get hyper focused at random and that can be a lot, I try not to bother people.

Mostly, I can sorta be clingy towards friends, because I don't have any irl friends and my online friends are sooo important to me as a person. But I do try to tone it down if my friends are not okay with it.

 

[Linguist]

I'm not clingy in the slightest. I tend to love excellent writing, and I don't shy away from telling my partners that. Beyond that, I tend to stay pretty private, so there isn't much to cling on to besides my words.

 

[LunaValentine]

Look I dont poke my rp partners. Because I'm scared they'd hate me. Hell I try not to bother my friends! But good lord do I not like cutting people out of my life. I like my friends, he'll I love them. I'm just bad with telling them how I'm doing unless it's something like in a stream or it's real bad. I don't mind people poking me though. Because to me it is a sign that yes they like me and or want to hear from me. I often feel like a friend of mine is an extrovert who adopted me even though he doesn't think he is!

 

[Spooder Queen]

I don't poke. If you ghost me, you ghost me. Naturally, I may be less inclined to write with you in the future, especially if you have a propensity for it. The only times I "force" OOC is basic communication. I might ask if my partner has any ideas or anything they want to implement for their OC or the current story. I strongly advocate that a narrative should honor both creations and offer them some development. If you're a scholar or thief and not a warrior, and I'm playing a warrior. I make sure to include obstacles and things only your OC can solve. That way, their role is essential, adding diversity regarding the breadth of hindrances. Not every challenge needs to be combat-oriented.

 

[tsukasa]

I am absolutely a person who detests a clingy person IRL or online. Typically I am happy to chat but if there is a sense of neediness or "Pay attention to only meeee." Bumps/asks for posts, or pings me excessively, I nope out very quickly.

I love it when people are clingy like this towards me, whether online or IRL. There is literally nothing like knowing and feeling you are wanted, even needed. That feeling is almost non-existent in today's world, especially when it's full of ghosters, ignorance, and toxicity in every direction.

People who show this kind of clingy interest will have me stay around for a very long time. In fact, the longest RP I have done in a long time (ever?) is with, and because of, such a clingy person; we even started multiple RPs simultaneously. I am still writing with this person as of writing this.

I have never understood why people dislike this level of being wanted and thought about. Clingy should be default, especially in relationships and similar situations.

Hot take for sure, but I don't really care what people think about it; I think people who don't like this level of being wanted are just... Let's just say "missing out".

 

[Blue]

I am a bit distant I would say only because I like to keep in real life separate from online but that does not mean I don't welcome getting to know and opening up, to a certain degree, with partners. I especially enjoy talking about our roleplays and characters. With that said, I am not clingy. Post or communicate whenever you can. Life happens and should always come first. I understand and like that same respect in return. I don't like clingy behavior either. It makes me feel very uncomfortable if I'm expected to come online, check in, reply to the roleplay, etc. It makes me feel sort of obligated in a way and just no. I had an experience with such behavior before and needless to say it just is not pleasant feeling to me.

 

[RaccoonGoon]

I am absolutely a person who detests a clingy person IRL or online. Typically I am happy to chat but if there is a sense of neediness or "Pay attention to only meeee." Bumps/asks for posts, or pings me excessively, I nope out very quickly.

I love it when people are clingy like this towards me, whether online or IRL. There is literally nothing like knowing and feeling you are wanted, even needed. That feeling is almost non-existent in today's world, especially when it's full of ghosters, ignorance, and toxicity in every direction.

People who show this kind of clingy interest will have me stay around for a very long time. In fact, the longest RP I have done in a long time (ever?) is with, and because of, such a clingy person; we even started multiple RPs simultaneously. I am still writing with this person as of writing this.

I have never understood why people dislike this level of being wanted and thought about. Clingy should be default, especially in relationships and similar situations.

Hot take for sure, but I don't really care what people think about it; I think people who don't like this level of being wanted are just... Let's just say "missing out".

I can definitely understand that perspective! I can feel the same if the circumstances are right, though in my experience it's very easy for clingy behavior to turn harmful. There's a line between respectful check-ins and aggressive behavior when someone doesn't get what they want, and I think that's where some of the wariness for clingy partners comes from.

Speaking for myself, I typically don't mind daily OOC chatter and inquiries about posts if I know the person is coming from good intentions and not impatience. I've had (and witnessed) people going from harmlessly clingy to completely losing their cool when they don't get their daily dose of attention/posts, and that's exactly where the problem lies for me. If someone can refrain from acting like a passive aggressive brat or a borderline stalker, then I'm good...For the most part.

Generally speaking, I'm just not a talkative person. Clingy behavior has a tendency to overwhelm me if I feel like I'm obligated to reciprocate. I'm most compatible with people who go their own pace and can pick up on where we left off if we haven't talked in days, weeks, or even months. But I'm definitely not opposed to easy-going daily chat, or throwing out the occasional meme. In short, I'm tolerant...but I appreciate my space to breathe and enjoy other hobbies without worrying that someone is waiting on bated breath for me to acknowledge them.

 

[tsukasa]

There's a line between respectful check-ins and aggressive behavior when someone doesn't get what they want

Sure, but I don't see that as clingy, I see that as hostile/aggressive. That's not the same to me.

 

[Manna Beast]

There's a line between respectful check-ins and aggressive behavior when someone doesn't get what they want

Sure, but I don't see that as clingy, I see that as hostile/aggressive. That's not the same to me.

Each their own, of course. Please do not turn this into a debate or a lengthy back and forth when it isn't necessary to be one. Each person has their own opinion and that is all this thread is for, nothing further or deeper

 

[tsukasa]

Each their own, of course. Please do not turn this into a debate or a lengthy back and forth when it isn't necessary to be one. Each person has their own opinion and that is all this thread is for, nothing further or deeper

It's quite impossible to have an discussion on a matter like this without first defining what clingy is. When you ask "How clingy are you?", it's impossible to answer that without first stating what the definition is, which is going to have to be stated by the people responding, since, as you said, it's different for everyone.

 

[Manna Beast]

Each their own, of course. Please do not turn this into a debate or a lengthy back and forth when it isn't necessary to be one. Each person has their own opinion and that is all this thread is for, nothing further or deeper

It's quite impossible to have an discussion on a matter like this without first defining what clingy is. When you ask "How clingy are you?", it's impossible to answer that without first stating what the definition is, which is going to have to be stated by the people responding, since, as you said, it's different for everyone.

As I've stated, please do not turn this into a debate. That is the ask, if I feel there is too much here or is spiraling downwards, it will be closed.

Thank you