Dear motherfuckers, I'm teetering if you must know
Original poster

Hello. I am Hecatoncheires, AKA Hecky. Man (presumably), writer person, hopeless fucking incompetent. Having spent the last couple months banging my head against a keyboard and becoming increasingly frustrated with my attempts at writing projects, I'm looking to get back into the more enjoyable side of doing the good words to depict the scene to create the fun story.

Seriously I don't know what I'm fucking doing please send help--

  • I am a flake.
  • When it comes to throwing out pitches, I think I'm pretty solid.
  • When it comes to the execution of said pitches, I am extremely less solid.
  • I am a flake. I cannot stress this enough. I will flake on you.
  • Redstar and smut shenanigans are absolutely not my thing. No judgements if it's yours, but you'll need to look elsewhere if that's what you're seeking.
  • No really, I am a flake. My muse is a fickle and inconstant little shit who will get me all fired up for an idea and then fuck off to the Cayman Islands for six months. I required patience for my slow-ass posting, and the occasional prompt and reminder.
  • Due to being an old fuck, I have a whole host of commitments and projects to worry about. These will take priority, you know how it is.
  • I do my RPs via the forums because DMs are weird and Discord is the work of Satan. Actually that's not fair. Satan's actually pretty cool. Unlike Discord.
  • F L A K E
I'd say I have three character archetypes that I tend to fall back on, when push comes to shove:
  • Smart-ass dilettantes, delinquents, dropouts and deadbeats who get by on their wits, smarts and ability to run their mouth at a rate that could power a small house if you could wire it up properly. I'm a sucker for the Trickster Hero archetype, okay.
  • Hard-ass action types with chips on their shoulders, gloomy backstories and capacities for some manner of spectacular violence. They will invariably start to sound more and more like hard-boiled detectives the longer the story goes on. I don't know why this happens, it just does.
  • Dads. Dads of all shades and varieties. Sad dads, glad dads, rad dads. Every character I make in tabletop RPGs turns into a dad, and it's getting to the point where it concerns me.

The following are a few projects I've either tried running over the years or would love to run, cos they're that kind that have stuck with me for a good wee while now. I aim to keep them loose enough that they can entice partners without being too restrictive: I want you to have your chance to leave your mark and have your say as well. For some of these pitches I already have material written, you just need to follow the links to get your mitts upon it.
  • Blackbloods: A Gaslamp Fantasy Horror (with a healthy dose of Splatterpunk elements), all about outlaw vampires fighting to survive in a city of shadows and fend off their oppressors by quite literally eating the rich. In addition to the main pitch linked earlier, you can take a gander at an overview of life in the city of Nokturne here.
  • CyberGeneration 2047: Teenage superhumans versus the Cyberpunk Dystopian State. Taking place in an alternate universe of the Cyberpunk setting (yes as in Cyberpunk 2077, work with me here), if you're down for this then you seriously need to hit me up cos I've been keen for this shit for donkey's years.
  • Babel Knights: A cyberpunk action RP taking place on a decaying Earth where the last remnants of humanity are packed together into the city of Babel. A kleptocratic cabal of megacorporations have holed themselves up in the higher echelons of the city, and maintain control over the rest of the population by restricting their access to any form of firearms or explosives. Anyone attempting to produce such weaponry is hit with the kind of retaliation that makes a SEAL team look like a pack of toddlers, and any other form of crime is ignored by the authorities. Because of this, the underclasses have returned to old means of violence. This gives the setting a different feel from most cyberpunk stories; street-samurai are exactly what they say on the tin, gangs settle their disputes with vicious melee combat, and what ranged capabilities people have are limited to archery.

    Common cyberpunk motifs are still present. Cybernetics are available and some do sport them, though the augmentations of the Sprawl are big, obvious and bulky, though they are extremely reliable and pack quite a punch. Wireless connections and augmented reality overlays are also commonplace in Babel City, and less common are the hackers who know how to exploit such systems.

    I have less material currently floating around for this story, but I've been wanting to give it a proper try for going on a decade now. Let me know if you're down.
I'll divide the following into three categories. 'Hell Ye Bruthur' (stuff that I'm a massive fan of and if you are too then you should hit me up ASAP), 'Fandom Shenanigans' (established settings and stories that I'd be up for telling stories in), and 'Miss Me With That Shit' (stuff that just doesn't do it for me).

Hell Ye Bruthur
  • Whilst I'm a fan of the SciFi in general, Cyberpunk will forever be near and dear to my heart and I'm always up for more of it.
  • I am forever throwing Cosmic Horror elements into the stuff I write, because there's no horror like the existential terror of realising we are infinitesimal specks on the vast canvas of existence ready to be swallowed up so completely it will be as though we never existed. Also, tentacles.
  • Giant Robots are the coolest shit ever, and I will literally suplex anyone who claims otherwise. I trend towards Real Robots, in the style of Gundam or Robotech, but that isn't to say that Super Robots aren't awesome as well.
  • Isekai is a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't want to like it, cos a lot of it turns into miserable wish fulfilment harem nonsense, but the base concept of 'dump a bunch of ordinary people in a fantasy world, maybe give them some powers, and then watch the resulting hilarity/clusterfuck/some-combination-thereof' is an inherently compelling concept.
  • Zombies. I have been in love with zombie survival stories since around the time I could string a story together. The first RP forum I ever joined was dedicated to zombies. Fucking zombies, man. There's just something about those rotting, shuffling bastards.
Fandom Shenanigans
  • I'm a huge World of Darkness nerd, and anyone down for doing some Vampire: The Masquerade or Changeling: The Lost stories should hit me up immediately. I don't think that the dice mechanics translate well to forums, but the stories that can be told in these settings are truly something special.
  • On a related note, if you're a fan of Exalted and want to do some spectacle fighting wuxia bullshit then let me know. I love this RPG, but my table is entirely too afraid of the crunch to play it.
  • The Laundry Files has been a favourite series of mine for a number of years, because that potent blend of Cosmic Horror mixed with the mundane horror of British bureaucracy speaks to me on a deep and personal level.
Miss Me With That Shit
  • Canon Fandoms. What the hell's the point of dropping into an established setting if you can't do what you want with it.
  • Real Life people/stars. No offence, but this is fucking weird and I don't care for it.
  • Slice of Life. I'm already a miserable piece of shit stuck in a world that continues to disappoint me with it's like of hoverboards and ROBOT LEGS, you don't need to remind me of this fact.
  • Again to reiterate, I don't do Redstar stories. That's just not something I vibe with.
I am a dumb bitch with terrible taste. I will never change. I will never improve. That is a promise.

That being said, if any of the above should take your fancy please hit me up via the thread below or via DMs if that's how you choose to live your life.
  • I'm SHOOK
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