To be fair, I like most of my neighbors. To establish a baseline of how I generally am with my neighbors, I once had a neighbor's dog bite me in the hand. The neighbor and I were both surprised that the dog was a biter, it was the first time. She put the dog behind a fence and made sure he was supervised at all times, which was totally responsible. We let it rest at that, problem solved. So I'm a pretty reasonable guy about things.
Anyway, onto the meat. I live next to a judge; she's a penny-ante civil court judge handling small stuff, but that's enough to give her a bad attitude. She also is one of those disgusting helicopter parents and has this morbid fear of trees falling on her precious spawn's head. That has her running around, threatening all the neighbors with letters and suits if they don't cut down largely healthy trees. Until recently, she felt free to trespass and make bullying demands...until she found out that there was a connection to her old boss, who is also a more influential judge. She was told that she can't just come around, trespass and harass without consequence, though it honestly scares me that the trick to stopping this idiot has to do with knowing her boss, and not with asserting actual rights as a property owner. Different rant though.
Now she's backed off, the tree (that's not entirely on this property) is down and I'm getting a big 'Fuck you' French bocage-style privacy hedge (the kind you need a
Sherman tank with blades to penetrate) planted on this side of the property line next to the fence so she gets the point -- that I want her out of my sight when I look out in the morning -- without actually having a reason to complain. She's either going to get it and can't comment or not get it because she's dense, and both outcomes are satisfying to me. To say the least, I'm going to pop a champagne cork when that thing goes up. It's huge hedge type that grows very aggressively. It also keeps her loud, badly medicated (well, like mother, like son) kid out of the back yard anyway, since that little brat is going to sprout like a weed and run around off his leash wildly as he hits puberty and hormones complicate the chemical imbalances.
Incidentally, the houses on either side of her house are for sale, gee, wonder why.
She's elected, so I'll be voting against her with prejudice next election.
I read this and realize that damn, I sound catty. I suppose I'm buying into this suburban warfare having met some neighbors. I also have a neighbor whose Pomeranian died recently. That was a cause for celebration, and I'm sure the thing would have lasted longer if they didn't just leave the little barking rat outside all day long, every day. Poor thing probably shivered to death, and thank goodness for it.
